• Member Since 23rd Oct, 2012
  • offline last seen Jan 3rd, 2019

The Princess Rarity


Quirky teenage girl who writes about cartoons & has an obsession with sparkly things & cute dorks. Goes through life following by Dr. Seuss's wise words; "You have to be odd to be number one."

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All Sweetie Belle wanted was one pony to show up to her audition. Just one. And what with everypony else so busy, she was thrilled to know that Rarity would be there for her...

...but she didn't show. It was an empty theater.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 79 )

Whoohoo! Sisters! :raritywink:

Rarity and Sweetie, you say? I'm strapping in for the ride in the name of sisters! :raritywink: The ending tugged at my heartstrings, good job your highness!

DAWWWWW

This made me smile.

I quite enjoyed this story, I'll admit.

But I can't help but feel that the story would have felt a bit better if you'd elaborated a bit more on why Rarity would have missed the audition. Maybe go a bit more into details on how busy Rarity's been, or how swamped with orders and dresses that need to be made - something to flesh out the reason why Rarity would forget something so important to her sister. We all get carried away with what we're doing and sometimes important things slip through the cracks. Rarity, to me, feels like she wouldn't let something slip through unless she's under a lot of pressure, and I guess I just didn't feel that she was pressured enough to let an audition slip.

Guess I hold Rarity to very high standards (Not that she'd expect anything less)?

But that aside, it was a very enjoyable read!

Stupid question, but why didn't their parents go to the audition? Rarity ISN'T Sweetie Belle's mother.

This could be an episode. Nay, it should be an episode.

Hmm, it's seems like all the heartfelt one shots these days are about Sweetie and Rarity. I'm not complaining though. I love to see how people interpret their relationship. Keep up the good work!

And there we have the reason why I love your stories. Your writing is simply perfect for these kind of stories. :pinkiesmile:

Anytime I see a fic where Diamond Tiara or Silver Spoon get picked over one of the CMC, mainly Sweetie Belle, for something like this or similar, I can only imagine their parents paying money for it to happen. And main reason I can see that is because that is the way it works in real life.

Aww, this is why I adore Rarity and Sweetie Belle's relationship. Rarity is far from a perfect sibling, but she does try at least whenever she has to be there for Sweetie. And in the end, she succeeds. :pinkiesad2: another brilliant story from you, and no, there was never any doubt.

until a familiar voice began it's usual screeching.

It's, with the apostrophe, is the contraction of "it is."
Its, without the apostrophe, is the possessive pronoun. Possessive pronouns (his, hers, theirs, yours, its) never get apostrophes before the S.

Also, on your dialogue tags? It's best to use the basic "said", "asked", and "replied" as often as possible, and avoid using "fancier" attributions like "argued", "inquired", "piped up", "assured", etc. The "basic three" are effectively "invisible" to a reader, and they won't notice you using them – but they will notice it when an author is clearly going out of their way to avoid using them by constantly reaching for the thesaurus. :raritywink:

Plus, those fancier words will lose their impact if they're used too much or too often. Think of them as spices; a dash or two adds flavor to the dish, but add too many of them, or use too much, and it becomes unpalatable. So, keep them in your back pocket, and only use them sparingly, when you really need to convey a very specific tone of voice. :twilightsmile:

Aside from those, though: Cute story! :twilightsmile:

5440730
The prevailing fanon seems to be that Pearl and Magnum are pretty much parents in absentia and don't actually spend a lot of time with their daughters. The fact that Sweetie Belle has her own room at Rarity's boutique and (at least as far as I can remember) has never been shown to actually go home to or spend any time at their parents' house, certainly seems to support the fanon theory that their parents have more or less handed off the job of actually raising Sweetie Belle to Rarity. (The fact that Sweetie Belle gets so easily upset whenever Rarity gets wrapped up in other things and doesn't have time for her, also lends some credence to this theory; she desperately craves from her big sister the attention and approval she's not getting from her parents.) At the very least, there's nothing in the show canon which proves otherwise...

I hope you don't mind me making a little suggestion, but this sentence is kind of awkward:

A music note, with a heart, and Sweetie Belle's scrawled yet adorable hoofwriting scribbled out to make a small statement that had two words that made the pieces fall into place with a sickening crack.

I just wanted to suggest you change it to:

"A music note, with a heart, and Sweetie Belle's scrawled yet adorable hoofwriting scribbled out to make a small, two-word statement that made the pieces fall into place with a sickening crack."

It flows better that way. Just a tip, to help you improve and get better :twilightblush:

:raritycry: So sweet! Your characterizations of Sweetie Belle and Rarity were spot on, and the situation you crafted was very believable for them.

This was wonderful! It was in-character and truly something I could see happening at any time in the show. You portrayed the bond as sisters beautifully. Great work!

This is awesome. I want a sequel.

"Either way," Rarity declared, taking her sister's hoof into her own and holding on it while giving a small smile. "This is one promise I tend to go through with, no matter what role you have,

A better alternative to "go through with" would be "keep".

Small errors aside, this is a great story with beautifully in-character interactions between Sweetie and Rarity. Have a like and a fave, your highness. :raritywink:

Before I read this, I have to say THAT CHAPTER TITLE.
Wicked is the best. :twilightsheepish:

Now on to reading!

Oh...so super adorable! I love the sister dynamic between these two and you nailed it! The little musical references were fun too (being a big theatre nerd myself, haha!) and both Rarity and Sweetie Belle were very in character! Great job, favoriting for sure. :raritywink:

:unsuresweetie:" Hi Spike what's that you got there?"
:moustache: "A full set of season passes for this years shows"
:unsuresweetie: " Who, why. You're kidding aren't you?"
:moustache: "Twilight thinks a little culture never hurts, Ah Sweetie Bell can you keep a secret?"
:unsuresweetie: "Sure Spike" :moustache: Whispering " I have a crush on your sister and Luna thinks the tickets are for the win"
.:raritystarry: "I heard that Spikey !" :unsuresweetie: "Where do you want me to send the flowers? Spike"
:moustache: "The Everfree Forest Lawn . . I'm so dead".
:raritywink: "My precious scales looks so cutie when he faints" :unsuresweetie: "Hay sis , Lets dress him up like a silly filly"
:raritystarry: "That would be silly"

:twilightoops::pinkiegasp: :applejackconfused::yay::derpytongue2::duck::scootangel::applecry: "Do IT!"

Nice job here. I liked this story:heart:

Dear 'The Princess Rarity',

A faggot came along and disliked your story.

Shall I terminate him or her with extreme prejudice?

Also, your avatar doesn't look like Rarity...

Anyways, please advise, over.

Yours Sincerely,
UniqueSKD, and his friend/OC, Unique the Anthro-Pegasus (the most awesome nutty pony dude ever! His words, not mine.)

5441411 You have to wonder where the hell their parents keep going, don't you?

Now this one really made me smile. It would have been nice to see evidence of why Rarity would have missed something so important to Sweetie Belle, but all in all, I think this was handled very well. I love stories that flesh out the dynamics between the Crusaders and their sisters.

Yeah, Sweetie would be a better fit for the lead role but Diamond has something she doesn't. Wealth and influence. Right amount of pressure here, and a few greased hooves there and there is very little you can't get.

Most underrated sibs ever. :heart: Also Wicked is literally the best thing to ever exist. Ever.

Imagine...Rarity doesn't go to her musical.
Sweetie Belle: OH COME ON!!!!!!
Then Rarity would win Worst Sister of the Year Award.:raritywink::unsuresweetie:

Not top bad, but a tad dramatic for me. Excellent job with the writing though :scootangel:

Nice little piece of sister drama. I like the act of tea as a peace offering :twilightsmile:

Good work!

DJRD

AS a story, I like this. It's rather cute, it's written well-enough to tug at a few strings. However, I'm kind of looking for more context here. Why is it that Rarity forgot about that? The impression I got from the beginning wasn't that she was terribly busy. It made me tick a bit. Maybe she just forgot, but that doesn't sound too much like her... Still, it works with established characterization and many d'awws were had. Points for you.

5441411 Actually, the scenes in the bedroom in One Bad Apple are at Sweetie's parents, as is the float. Magnum can be seen fishing in the very same pond. So, Rarity might have a room for her, but they're not living together all the time, at least...

Damn heartshot.
It's too much! :heart:

It was nice I suppose, for an Everyone rated story. It had some good thought behind it.

...And then the sequel where Rarity once again forgets to go, and then Sweetie Bell defaults to her backup plan and replaces her with AJ.

Kidding! :rainbowlaugh:

Great job:pinkiehappy: As a fan of Broadway musicals, I really enjoyed the references:)

OK lets cover this now normally i don't have anything against cheerilee, but choosing DT as a lead was simply bribery. so deadpool well be beating her to death with a sack of hammers.

deadpool: tallyho! *deadpool heads off with his sack of hammers*

a few questions, curious did anything happen too the lead pony she was understudying preferably daimond tiara? she didn't happen to ge swept up in a whirlwind and land in a shipping crate for neighpon where she was pushed down a flight of stairs? cause that would be horrible and totaly coincidental....

anway seriously, how did the play go? did sweetie get the part next time?

Sweetie Belle just let out an loud annoyed groan of exasperation

"loud" starts with a consonant so the correct word to use here would be "a".

...and when the time came, Rarity didn't show up...again. Sorry, but she has a bad track record, and honestly, I don't think she'd gunna get better. Call me a cynic, but Rarity does this kinda thing alot, and moreover, all it'll take is one order of dresses and Sweetie is gunna be tossed to the side again. It's part of Rarity's character in many interpretations, and feels just the same ho-hum here. Don't get me wrong, I like the heartwarming moment...but often for a mare like her? They are moments forgotten until it's far too late.

Still, good work, and thanks for writing.

When the curtain's call
Is the last of all
When the lights fade out
All the sinners crawl...

NOW I CAN'T GET WICKED SONGS OUT OF MY HEAD DEAR GOD WHYYYYYYYYYY THEY ARE SO GOOD AND AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH :heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart:

5441948 And the "tend" should most likely be "intend".

5440992

This could be an episode. Nay, it should be an episode.

It was an episode called "For Whom the Sweetie Belle Toils".
Let's recap. All this is in both the episode and this story.

Sweetie Belle is in a performance.
Rarity doesn't recall/know the time of said performance and forgets it.
Sweets gets mad at her sister for her lack of success.
Rarity was trying to relax after working hard as Sweets burst in the door, furious at her sister.
Rarity couldn't see anything from Sweet's point of view and they argue, particularly about how Rarity is to blame.
Sweets storms off in anger.
Sweets inner monologues/cries or whatever behind closed doors.
This repels Rarity from wanting to comfort Sweetie at first.
Both mentions "show tunes" as being something Sweetie likes.

So this is where the two change as this story here ends quickly, cutting to a swift reconciliation. But it's still the same when they do finally get along, Sweets sees some value in Rarity again while hoping to improve herself rather than to blame her sister all the time.

So yeah, this story really copies Dave Polsky's work. Sure a few details are different but that not as important as the main concept here and how the story flows. There is nothing really unique here to say. I don't want to be harsh but that's the truth that I can see. Maybe others don't see it. Maybe the author can come and defend their work to me.

As I see it as a copy, I have no choice but to give it a 1/10.

5446484 Perhaps her highness was inspired by that episode to write this?

Ah yes, I know the feeling too well. You make a promise and you accidentally forget. It sucks.

5444143

Actually, the scenes in the bedroom in One Bad Apple are at Sweetie's parents, as is the float.

...are we sure of that? I don't recall seeing anything in either of those episodes that explicitly establishes that room as being in her parents' house, as opposed to the Boutique...

5446484
Mate... the major plot point here is that in the episode, Rarity's dresses steal her spotlight. In this story, Rarity not being involved at all was the issue.

I'm sorry, but you've not done your research.

5446757 Pretty sure, yes. Her father is seen fishing in front of that house, there is a zoom to one of the windows and it's the exact same place we see in the flashback from "For Whom the Sweetie Belle Tolls".

I, for one, enjoyed this story quite a bit. I normally don't catch witty references in fanfiction, so I am glad that I understood the (obvious :P) one in the chapter title.
:raritywink: :raritywink: :raritywink: :raritywink: :raritywink:
You are awarded five best-sister-rarities out of five possible best-sister-rarities.

As a fan of Broadway and the musical that Eclipse is inspired by (Wicked, I presume, due to the chapter title), I quite enjoyed the little references to them! Unfortunately, I don't ever get the chance to see these shows except for when they come out on DVD, Netflix, or the soundtracks just came out(I listened to If/Then a thousand times and I still want to see it because seriously, I love Idina Menzel to bits). I can understand what it's like not to have people show up to things you think are important and I also know what it's like to be entranced by musicals and things you can be passionate about in general. Well done, Princess~
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I sincerely hope that Diamond Tiara is Glinda/Celestia/Whoever fits the role in the play and that Sweetie is actually Elphaba/Luna. I can see her playing her due to her understanding of the Princess with her being a young sibling and having met her herself. Of course, that's up to you!

I can't believe such a simple story could be so amazing! Well done! :raritystarry:

I'm totally jealous of you for being able to write so well! :raritydespair:

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