Canterlot has been taken over, and Ponyville is no longer the safe haven it once was. Our heroes will have to find some way to free Equestria, or face a tyrannical rule over all of the lands.
Chapters (14)
- Member Since 2nd Dec, 2013
- offline last seen Apr 5th, 2023
Old Ben Kenobi
Please visit my Youtube account https://www.youtube.com/user/killgriffinnow
Old Ben Kenobi
Joined 2nd Dec, 2013 ·
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The pacing's a bit off, you could have made it all go a lot smoother. And you have some grammar mistakes you could work on. But just because that's such a good cliffhanger I'm liking it.
4134432 Sorry about the grammar. I'm still not used to typing on an ipad, so it might be a little funny. I do tend to have a bit of a problem with starting my fics, so I suppose I should try and work on that. Glad you are liking it so far, though!
4134465 Yeah, you should work on the start. Single most important part, a lot of people might decide to leave on the first chapter and not even bother to see if the other chapters are good. I almost did myself.
So BlueBlood is the leader? How the heck did that happened?
When all this is over and justice prevails who says we hand Blueblood over to Ramsey Bolton (formerly Snow) before we give him his "crown of gold that all shall tremble to behold?"
If Discord has his magic, why doesn't he teleport them all out of the caves?
Discord surrendering because of a threat to Fluttershy made sense, but they did nothing to bind his magic or restrain him; they just threw him into the caves with the others. But Discord is powerful enough to throw the sun and moon around like tennis balls. Why can't he just teleport out of the caves? He could take his friends to safety and then go attack Blueblood himself, since the only way they defeated him was the threat to Fluttershy (which means that technically speaking, the "magic of friendship" is why Discord lost. It's not unilaterally a strength. I'd expect him to point this out. If he'd had no friends, Blueblood couldn't have captured him.)
You need to establish some reason why he can't do that, since he's been demonstrated to have his magic, or it seriously weakens the story.
Too bad twilight didn't bother to take some history textbooks during her trip to the human world, she would have known just how many "hopeless causes" have succeeded, small rebel bands bringing super powers to their knees (the Viet Cong and Muhajadeen defeating the U.S. and Soviet Union respectively).
4202335 I'll explain that in the next chapter.
Of course Blueblood is dooming Equestria, he doesn't care if the realm turns to ashes so long as he is the king of it.
I really hope to release a new chapter soon.
It's good to see your still alive. And plus I still want to make Prince Blueblood pay!
6178698
Thanks for following my story! I'm a bit busy but I fully intend to finish this story eventually.
It's, alive! About time for an update!
Blueblood?! You backstabbing low excuse of a....!
*We are experiencing technical difficulties backstage, please stay tuned!*
Okay Blueblood, let's see how the Crystal Empire and the rest of the country respond.
See Blueblood, they fon't like you.