Vimbert the Unimpressive
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An unfortunate event gives Princess Celestia a fresh view on her life by forcing her to see the world from a very different viewpoint. With Equestria changing around her, she is faced with a personal crisis... if she can ignore how cute a certain lavender unicorn suddenly looks to her.
And some site about horse porn!
What did just read? Ok... Vim good story, the main part isn't my cup of tea but the rest. Seeing what Discord did to Celestia while the 6 were running I liked, along with the clash between the two, good characterization for her too (not a tyrant nor a troll, but really does care for the ponies). Just the middle... *shivers*
Very well-written, kudos!
Twilestia ftw, that is all.
>>370810 You seem to be involved with all the best twilestia, so I have one question for you...
That was pretty damn amazing. A Twilestia fic without Twilight being present or more than tangentially involved with the story? I am impressed.
And now I kinda wanna see more of Eagle Eye and his ongoing struggle to suppress his inner squealy, tail-hiking mare. And his horrible tendency to be trapped in compromising scenarios with every variety of superhunk.
The story came about from my desire to answer two questions:
1. What the hell was Celestia doing while the mane six were trying to take down Discord?
2. Why did Spike get so many letters at once?
Also, I challenged others to write rule 63 Twilestia, but no takers. So I decided to do it... sort of.
I know, right?
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
At first I just kept laughing at Celestia's Discorded behaviors... then it got to the middle part and I was like 
Then there's the Spike tie-in... excellently done and very comedic.
Celestia's realization of what she did was what kept me reading and you didn't disappoint.
Excellent work.
>>372005 I wonder that for EVERY episode (with the exception of Episode 4)
Hmm. I wonder if evolution couldn't shed a little light here. <egghead> The genotype/phenotype expression don't always follow an obvious or direct cause/effect relationship; especially during dynamic changes. </egghead>
For example, I doubt thoughtless love was the emotion that Discord most wanted to invoke. Celestia's feelings of strong friendship for Twilight may have been what protected her from becoming what Discord intended, not a seed he worked from.
Perhaps.
It was, at best, tangential to the story, so I didn't include it; however, I didn't want people asking me "BUT WHAT ABOUT LUNA"
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/6219/Interference
This is a bit of a prequel, actually.
Eeeyup. That's "headcanon", by the way, unless you mean to say that I have a weapon attached to my forehead. Actually, that's more awesome. I'm going with that. 
Science is hard and Discord's motivations are a bit unclear, so I'll just say "Sure, why not?"
Actually, in this story, I don't even think I want to joke about Twiliestia. The mind-rapey aspect makes it...
You know, it makes it hard for me to overlook all the other things that make Twilestia a little weird. I mean, think of how much pain and agony I had to go through in "Eternal" or Varanus has to go through in "Composure" to make sure that everything is on the level between them...
Well, thanks for reminding me that my interest in this pairing probably makes me a bad person, forcing Celestia into a compromising situation, I guess.
We're all a little cracked, and both of your writing is goddamned fantastic. Twilestia is weird, yes, but it's a veritable gold mine for conflict; there are so many problems the pairing has to overcome for it to even pretend to work that you can't just write off the ship as "And then they became pony lesbians. The end", like other pairings might be able to get away with. It's a concept that is rich with story potential and can lead into some heavy themes with ease, so never feel bad for writing one of the best Twilestia stories out there. (Full disclosure: real life has kept me too busy to read all of Eternal, but what I've seen I adore.)
Forgive me, if I had actually said all that aloud, my sarcasm would have been much more obvious. Twilestia is, as you say, more interesting for its weirdness than disturbing in any way.
Not to rush you or anything, but I am looking forward to your final verdict someday! You piqued my interest forever ago by being just about the only person not drooling over chapter two back when it was first released...
What the hay did I just read? Well all I could say is this one is written pretty damn well. And aside from me being weirded out about having 2 guys just go swayback mountain in the middle there, but it is a good way of letting Celestia as a character and her going on in her head about the notions of Twilight Sparkle. All in all a good read and I hope top have to read your future stuff...
I enjoyed this quite a bit. Had that smile/cringe dynamic. (You know the one. Death by snu snu episode.)
I considered wrapped a wing around him
Wrapped should be wrapping
Did you make Celestia male just to try a form of borderline R63 Twiestia?
The only thing that bugged me was the scroll sending being an accident. that was one of my favorite parts of the entire series so my irritation is based on heavy bias rather than legitimate criticism.
I liked how Eagle Eye was conflicted between want and do not want at times. I felt for purely comedic effect this could have been played up a bit more.
Other than that I'm not entirely sure exactly what the point of Discord's prank was. The way I see it either:
1: It was more or less harmless and he just wanted to mess with Celestia and make her look ridiculous and get in a scandal while playing with her emotions. (This seems pretty tame compared to what he did to the Mane 6, completely turning them against themselves.)
2: It was more sinister than that and he was planning on having Futa-Molestia *shudder* go on a spree of "very bad things" and it was only incredible luck that one of her first potential victims had such a strong resemblance to Twilight.
Curses. I get two editors, look over my own stuff multiple times, and I still miss stuff.
#2 was a little closer to what I had in mind, but #1 would work as well. The main point was to put Celestia out of action so he could deal with the Elements of Harmony.
Thanks for your thoughts, as always; I swear, I overlook half the implications I put into my own work.
I've had this one concept where I was thinking "The wings and horns Discord took from Twi, Rarity, and Fluttershy had to go somewhere." I was imagining an earth pony who had 2 horns and a pair of wings for like 20 minutes somewhere in Equestria.
Now I am applying that same headcanon to Celestia's... 
Anyway, on the discussion of weird Twiestia... ever read Love . Sick?
A perfect Discord story... 
I love how through Discord's own actions against the Princess, a purely random, utterly chaotic event sets off the trigger (the spilled dragon flame) that sends those friendship reports on their "return to sender" trip back to poor little Spikey Wikey, and ultimately restore the Elements of Harmony, and all of Equestria. Genius! 
Also...
I SO want to see a parallel story that depicts what the hay poor Luna was up to? Maybe that Pink Luna pic that popped up a while back has something to do with it! LOL!!!
I would like to see your take on the future as well. I genuinely liked your style. 
I am deeply fond of stories that use Discord to his full mind-warping potential and here we are. It's already been touched on plenty ITT but Twilestia has so much potential for deep, personally scarring weirdness that it straight pisses me off when it's treated as just another ship. Good stuff from all angles here.
This story was hillarious, though I admit having a Really, Really hard time actually reading some of it!
I'm not sure what to think about that poor guard. I don't think he'll Ever get to live that down, though he did seem to enjoy it a bit too much, so it might be deserved, haha.
I want more, more, more still :).
That was a roller coaster to read, you went from the perfect characterization of Celestia and Discord in the beginning to.. what ever the middle part was, (scary, but good none the less; still felt like it was just some warped and far fetched aspect of Celestia.) to the very deep and meaningful ending. Bravo, im amazed you could jump around so much and make it all feel so right.
I was confused and ready for Brain Bleach, laughing all the way.
And then, it was like the whole story stopped for a moment, and I felt like I understood an immortal rainbow-haired alicorn princess of the sun a little more. Once in a while, a work of literature comes along that really strikes you in the heart and makes you realise something about what the piece itself parallels. Distorted Perspective is a fanfiction.
...
An awesome one. Kudos to you, sir.
That was actually surprisingly cute, in a hilariously awkward way. Good story all around! (Okay, I can't resist using this again. Have a Pinkestia.
)Haha, I remember you expressing reservations about this, so I'm glad you gave it a shot. Thanks! 
If I haven't messed with my readers' minds in some way by the end of a story, then I consider that story a failure.
High praise indeed: thank you. I'm glad it all flowed for you.
LOOK AT THIS PINKLESTIA
THIS PINKLESTIA'S AMAZING
As she walked her halls, once more she was hailed by the poor guard that Discord's magic had made her mistake for her student...
"Your highness?" Eagle Eye began hesitantly from behind her. Celestia turned, her eyebrow arched inquisitively. Had she perhaps done something after all and he had just now gotten up the guts to confess? "Your highness, before I go, I just wanted to say something." Celestia nodded once. Eagle Eye took a deep breath and told her not to carry around her guilt for having not visited her old student until the day before her death. "Nopony knows when their time will come, and you have so many other duties to attend to as well. I think that she knew that too, and from her words, I would have to say that she had no regrets about it. I know I'm just a guard, but I don't think she would have wanted you to feel bad about it." He smiled and shuffled in place nervously, saluted, and left.
Celestia considered his words, and sighed. Good words of advice, but could it really be that simple? She reflected on the horde of faces that had come, served her, and gone over the centuries. Each of them had features that she could not quite recall; a voice, eye color, wings, perhaps? A Cutie Mark, or even their body color, or the entire face was missing. She sighed again, her head drooping. So many faces, so many voices...how long will it be, I wonder, before Eagle Eye's face and voice also joins the fading collection of memories? Or Twilight and her friends? The thought saddened, and slightly horrified her. There are times I wish that I was one of the mortals myself. All the history books in the world cannot make up for what this world has lost.
Celestia's thoughts were interrupted by her sister's nearby presence, who coughed to make herself known.
"Sister? Art thou alright?" Celestia shook herself out of her lament and forced the serene smile that she oh-so-often wore before her subjects.
"Yes, Luna, I am fine. Are you?" Luna made a look of disgust briefly, but nodded too.
"That foul wretch Discord turned us into a stuffed animal, and then dropped us off in a foal's bed where we were snuggled by an over-eager foal for the last few hours and then was dressed in a ridiculous outfit and made to partake of 'tea time' and 'house' games. We only recently returned to our true form, but first had to console a weeping child over her loss of her 'Luna Doll'. We promised her a new one complete with a silver crown in by nightfall, which we are to deliver in person! Doth thee know a good doll maker?"
Celestia smiled and replied that she did indeed, recalling in mind both the pony that had made her sister's doll when she had been little, as well as a more recent one that had made a doll for Pinkie Pie that she'd recently received an excited letter about.
"Yes, Luna, I know just the pony for the job. Shall we pay him a visit?" Luna nodded and fell in step behind her sister.
I've lost many friends and subjects over the centuries, but I still have my sister, and so long as I'm alive I have the opportunity to make new friends, which helps to lessen the pain of my loss.
----
Okay, I've had my fun for the day. Now for the critique:
I have no complaints to say other than him just leaving like that. Sure, she's the princess and he's supposed to follow orders to the letter, but she just poured out her heart to him and he has nothing to say? Not even that 'don't carry the weight of the dead' line from Lord Of The Rings? 
The interactions of Empty Glass and Eagle Eye where hilarious. “Take one for the team, Eagle. Take one for Equestria.” So wrong but so funny. So much to take out of context. So easy to assume the worst. All around very entertaining.
Eagle Eye:“No matter what he does, you did this to me,”
Empty Glass:“I sure did. I sure did.”
... There had better as * be a sequel! You can't just leave it like that! That's cruel! It's inhumane! It's BRILLIANT! Like me ol father used ta say, 'Leave while they're still askin fer more, and you'll be welcomed back for the next party.'
... Curse you... *Waits patiently to see if there will be a sequel or not*
~ Magical Trevor, Minstrel of Equestria
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