The Mark
“So,” Vinyl said as she sat down across the table from him, “let me guess. You were pretty quiet on the way over here. Wondering how I knew it was you?” She rapped one hoof on the table-surface, the corner of her mouth turning up slightly.
“Yeah, a little bit,” Nova admitted as he settled in his seat. When Vinyl had said that she was taking him out to lunch, he’d been expecting either the standard Canterlot fare—something ritzy that went for more bits than most earned in a day—or something from a quick bazaar booth. Not to be walked to the other side of the bazaar and pulled inside a place that looked like some sort of tropical hut from the outside. Granted, the balcony she’d led him to was nice, and the umbrella above the table lent the final touch to the bamboo chair he was sitting in, but he just couldn’t relax. Not with who was sitting across from him.
“Well,” Vinyl said, her hoof coming up and pushing her glasses up her muzzle, “I do have an awesome memory for ponies, but it helps that they had your picture in the paper a few weeks ago.”
“They did?” Nova asked, sitting up in surprise.
“Of course,” Vinyl said, grinning as she leaned back in her seat, completely at ease. “Granted, it was a little blurry, but I got a decent look at you when you busted into my club that night. You know, before the lights went out and everypony started screaming. Hah! I gotta tell you, that was one crazy night! And I never did find out what that thing was.” She leaned forward, one hoof idly tracing a path on the wooden tabletop, an expectant look on her face.
Nova shook his head as he leaned back. “Sorry. I can’t tell you.” Vinyl frowned and he gave her a small shrug. “I’d tell you if I could, but the Captain was pretty specific.” His gaze drifted to the side, looking out over the balcony, down at the crowds crisscrossing the square. The fountain was clear now; the big blue minotaur had moved on, replaced by a few ponies eating lunch and one young filly who seemed to be intent on spending at least several bits worth of wishes at one go.
“Not even if I ask nicely?”
He let out a laugh, surprised at how natural it sounded. On the inside, he could feel his stomach twisting into a knot, fear creeping through his body like … well, much like he’d once crept through rich marks' homes. Homes like hers.
“No,” he said, facing her once more as he gave his head a gentle shake. “Sorry, but trust me. I’d be in a lot of trouble. And you probably don’t want to know anyway.”
“Uh-huh,” she said, leaning on one foreleg. “It didn’t have anything to do with that big building out in Baltimare coming down a few weeks later did it?” He gave her a shrug.
“Sorry,” he said, doing his best to sound apologetic. “Classified. Why are you so interested, anyway?”
“Hey,” she said, pulling back with a laugh. “I have every right to be interested. In case you forgot, you crashed my party with one of those things. But you are one of those guys then?”
“One of what?” Nova asked.
“The Dusk Guard. You know, those new, super-secret pony Guards that they introduced at the diplomatic dinner? There were a few articles in the paper about it. That’s where I saw your picture. That was … what, a few days before you jumped through the window at my club?” she asked, rubbing her hoof against her chin in thought.
“Your club?”
Vinyl gave him a shrug. “My club, Lucky’s club. Whatever. I play there. But that was you, right? Jumped through the window? I’m not feeding lunch to the wrong pony?”
“You’re kidding, right?” Nova asked, chuckling. “You waited until after we took seats at—” he paused for a moment, “—actually, I don’t even know what this place is called. You had me in the door and up the stairs out here before I could even ask.”
“Hey,” Vinyl said, one eyebrow dipping in what he assumed was a wink behind her glasses, “I had to rush you down here. I was worried you were gonna bolt if I took my eyes off of you.”
“Really?”
“Are you kidding? I had a stun spell at the ready just in case you tried it,” Vinyl said, laughing. “Not really, but I kind of got that vibe.”
“I’m not used to attention,” Nova said. That wasn’t a lie, at least. “I usually just stick to the sides.”
“A shy guy, huh?”
“Naw,” Nova said, shaking his head. “I’m more … unobtrusive. Most of the time. But you are sure you’re talking to the right pony?”
“Well, unless there’s another pony out there named Nova Beam who’s a member of the Dusk Guard…?” She let the question trail off as she cocked her head to one side.
“No,” he said with a shake of his head. “There isn’t. At least, not that I know of. There’s just the one, and that’s me.”
“Oh, good!” Vinyl said, letting out a laugh. “For a moment there, I really was wondering if I’d totally gotten the wrong pony. So,” she said, stretching her hoof across the rough wooden surface of the table, “name’s Vinyl. Vinyl Scratch. Unicorn DJ extraordinaire! Nice to meet you at last. Officially. When you aren’t diving through my windows.”
“Nova Beam,” he said, leaning forward and giving her hoof a quick shake. “Unicorn, diver of windows and slayer of monsters I can’t tell you about.”
“Rad,” Vinyl said, grinning. “So, how are your two buddies anyway? The pegasus and the zebra? I haven’t seen them since we hung out backstage that one night.”
“Sky Bolt and Sabra?” Nova asked. “They’re doing pretty well, actually. They’ve been super busy testing some of our new gear, but other than that, doing alright.”
“Well, that’s good to hear,” Vinyl said. “I hadn’t seen them come by in a while. That mare is a pretty kickin' dancer. I can’t say the same your zebra buddy.” Nova’s eyes widened as she shrugged her shoulders. “The guy can move though. With a little practice, he’d be all right.”
"Wait, wait, wait,” Nova said, raising one hoof. “Sabra, the king of...” He rolled his hoof, trying to think of a good way to describe the zebra’s slightly overdone thoughts. "Of silent brooding, maybe? He was actually dancing?”
“Yeah,” Vinyl said with a chuckle. “Well, more like he was trying to. She was giving him some pointers, but like I said, he needed practice.”
“Dang.” A chuckle escaped his throat. “Sky Bolt's good. Wish I could have seen that.”
"Her or the zebra?"
Nova rolled his eyes as the unicorn rapped her hoof on the table in a quick approximation of a drum hit. "Sabra." One eyebrow went up as Vinyl smirked. "Trying to dance."
“Well,” she said, her eyes narrowing behind her glasses, “you should have come.”
“I was studying,” he said, almost on reflex.
“Studying?”
“Studying,” he said, nodding.
“Do you do a lot of that, working for the Guard?”
“I…” he paused for a moment, hesitating.
“I don’t bite,” she said into his silence.
Not yet, he added, taking a breath. “More than you would think,” he said at last. “I’ll be honest, it’s not what I expected.”
“The Guard work? Or the studying?” Vinyl said, her grin softening to a smile.
“Both,” Nova said, his gut unclenching a little. Maybe this would just be a normal lunch. No big surprises. “There’s a lot I have to know for my role on the team. I’m basically the team magic-user, and so Steel—Captain Steel Song, that is—wants me to have a full knowledge of all the basic Guard spells as well as all sorts of special spells. I never had much of a formal education—” He stopped, surprised at how easily the words had slipped out of his mouth.
“Really?” Vinyl asked, one ear twitching down. “Didn’t pay attention much in magic class?”
“Uh, not really?” he said, giving her what he hoped was an honest looking grin. “It’s a long story.” The table was silent for a moment, and Nova blinked at the crowd, his horn lighting up slightly. Bingo. There it was. A sound baffling spell just past the railing. No wonder it seemed like they were the only ponies around.
“Just noticing the sound baffle spell,” he said as Vinyl gave him a questioning look. “It was really quiet up here.”
“Nice catch,” she said, her own horn lighting, probably to probe at the same baffle. “So. Studying?”
“Yeah,” Nova said, nodding. “Most of the time it’s basic stuff, the kind of stuff they teach all the Guards. Light spells, disabling spells. Some shields.”
“Any teleportation?”
“No,” Nova said, shaking his head. His guts unclenched a little more. “At least, not yet. I’ve never been any good at getting that one down. If I have to, I will, but…”
“Eh, I can’t teleport either,” Vinyl said. “Although,” she said, raising her voice, “I might be tempted to try if we don’t get some service out here soon!”
“Hey!” came a loud call from the stairs in an odd accent Nova couldn’t place, “Vinyl, what're you talkin’ about?” Hooves rang against the steps and the beads rattled against one another as a dark brown stallion with a black, braided mane pushed his way through, trotting out onto the balcony. “You know I always wait until you be readying to be makin’ your order.”
“Yeah,” Vinyl said, shaking her head, “but not with company.” She nodded her head in Nova’s direction, and the big earth pony’s attention shifted towards him. “He’s never even been here.”
“Never been!?” the stallion exclaimed, his eyes growing wide. “Den allow me to welcome you to my humble restaurant.” He gave Nova an exaggerated bow. “My name is Jam Roll, and I’ll be your chef today, tomorrow, or any time you come to De Thunder!”
“Nova,” Nova said, nodding. “That’s an interesting accent, if you don’t mind me asking, where’s it from?”
“Hey, pon, ask all you want, alright? I’m from the Janeighcan islands, pon,” he said, shaking his braided mane. “Born and raised. Moved to Canterlot when I fell in love with my sweet, sweet wifey on her vacation. And now? I be bringing you the best de islands have to offer!” He sat back and clapped both his hooves together. “So, since you’re new here, I’d be expectin’ you’ll be wanting a menu. Same for you, Vinyl?”
“Got anything new on it?”
“I would hope so, pon. It’s been ages since you looked at it last!”
“Alright then,” Vinyl said with a roll of her head. “A menu for me. And a pitcher of Shock for both of us.”
“Shock?” Nova asked.
“You’ll like it,” Vinyl said as Jam Roll spun on his rear hooves and pushed back through the bead curtain. “Trust me.” She smiled again, and he gave her a half-smile back.
“Are you alright?” she asked after a moment. “You look tense. Not a fan of foreign food?”
“Ah, actually the opposite, I love it,” he said. “I’m just … crud, how to put this?” Terrified that you’ll realize that the club wasn’t the first time we’d met one another? “A little surprised, I guess you could say.” That’s a good enough cover. “I mean, I was just doing what I was supposed to be doing, and now I’m being treated to lunch by a celebrity.”
“Hey, I just wanted to thank you,” she said, rolling one hoof on the edge of the table. “You never came by the club, and when I heard your voice in the store this afternoon, that was my chance. And I’ll admit, it’s pretty sweet to find out you’re a fan. But I did want to say thanks for doing whatever it was you did to stop that monster and saving a bunch of ponies lives. That and get to know a little about the pony that did that.”
Nova’s stomach unclenched slightly, his muscles relaxing. There was another rattle as the bead curtain parted again, and Jam Roll trotted out onto the balcony, humming a tropical-sounding beat under his breath. A bright green apron was tied around his chest, two paper menus sticking up from one of the pockets, and he was carefully balancing a tray on his back that held both a large pitcher and two heavy-looking wooden mugs.
“Alright den!” he said with a wide smile. “Two glasses of Shock…” Nova nodded, impressed as the big stallion slid the tray from his back with practiced ease, the pitcher barely wobbling.
“I got it,” Vinyl said, a blue glow wrapping around the pitcher and one of the mugs as she floated them over to her side.
“I’ll take this one, then,” Nova said, picking the cup up from the tray in his hooves. The wood felt smooth under his hoof, polished. He locked one hoof through the handle and gave it a quick heft. “Pretty solid.”
“Dey have to be, pon, to hold Shock!” Jam said with a laugh. “Now, here are your menus, I’ll be back in a few minutes when you’ve made your choosings, alright?” He gave them both a borderline mad grin as he slid the menus from his apron, and Nova found himself smiling back as the stallion twirled the menus on his hooves before sliding them across the table with a flourish. “Enjoy, pon!” Then he was gone, vanishing back through the bead curtain almost as quickly as he had come.
“So,” Nova said, floating his menu up in front of him, “I have absolutely no idea what Janeighcan food is like. Anything I should try?”
“Jerk Daisy patties,” Vinyl said, tossing her own menu back down on the table with a soft slap. “Trust me, if you’ve never had them and can handle a bit of spice, they’re just about the raddest thing you’ll ever eat.”
“Are those the ones that come with the spiced potatoes?”
“Yeah, if you get the split platter.”
Nova folded his menu back up. “Might as well try a variety. What are you getting?”
“Me?” Vinyl chuckled as she picked up her mug and took a small ship. A shiver ran through her body and she let out a content sigh. “I’m actually thinking of trying the coconut-glazed shrimp.”
Nova blinked. “Shrimp? Aren’t those the little bug-like things that they sell in Horseshoe Bay?”
“Different breed, I think,” Vinyl said, pausing to take another sip of her drink. “Same idea though. Little guys in shells? Jam’s been trying to get me to try them for a while. They’re a bit expensive, but once in a while you’ve got to splurge, right?”
“I guess so,” Nova said picking up his mug and eyeing the bright green drink liquid inside of it. He took a quick sniff. It smelled … tangy. Sweet but tangy, with a faint crispness to it that he just couldn’t place.
“Ooh, your first sip of Shock,” Vinyl said, grinning at him. “Just take it easy, Shock can be a bit of a—wait!” He tipped the whole mug back, sending its entire contents splashing into his mouth.
At first, it tasted just as it had smelled: sweet and tangy, almost like a pineapple. Then his face contorted, his body jerking as something took hold of him. His eyes widened as his whole body locked up, his legs jerking sporadically, muscles twitching and pulling in all directions. He could feel his mane standing on end, feel ripples of current rushing through his coat as a loud crackling sound filled his ears.
Then whatever force it was that had grabbed him let go, and he slumped back in his seat, panting heavily. His mug slipped from his hooves, landed on the tabletop with a hollow thunk, Vinyl’s magic catching it before it could tip over and spill what little was left. He could still feel his limbs twitching. His tongue felt numb. And Vinyl was … Vinyl was laughing. Not just chuckling, but flat out howling.
“You—you—” she gasped between guffaws. “I—I tried to warn you—but—but—” She stopped laughing long enough to look up at him and promptly threw her head back again, her chest heaving as she shook.
Nova shook his head, trying to bring some sense of feeling back into his cheeks. “Whag?” He shook his head again, slapped a still twitching cheek with one hoof. “Wha?” Come on tongue! Work with me here! She was laughing, so whatever he’d been served couldn’t have been deadly. That only happened in books anyway. “Whag?”
Oh come on! he thought as Vinyl continued to laugh. He rolled his tongue across his teeth, trying not to twitch as pins poked their way across his mouth. He felt like … like … Like I got hit by a bolt of lightning.
“What?” he finally managed to gasp, the word slurring slightly as he said it. He tried again. “What was—” A final shake of the head. He could feel his mane sticking out at odd angles, smell the faint tinge of ozone on his breath. “Did I just … drink a lightning bolt?”
“In—in one gulp!” Vinyl said, lifting her glasses and wiping a hoof across her eyes. “I can’t believe you just did that!” She let out another giggle. “I—I tried to warn you, but—” She ran her hoof across her eyes once more, staring at something off in the distance. “Oh, by the moon, I can’t believe you just did that! The look on your face.”
“I…” Nova glanced down at his mug. Then he started to chuckle. The tension in his stomach seemed to melt away, or maybe it had already vanished, kicked into submission by his drink. A laugh rolled out of him, and then another. A third started, only to cut off as he let out a burp that resonated with a sharp snap as static arced between his teeth. Vinyl snorted, and then they were both laughing together like idiots.
“Well,” Nova said after their mirth had subsided. “I feel a lot better now. Or maybe that’s just the fact that I still can’t get my right leg to stop twitching.”
“Hey, it was good though, right?” Vinyl asked, lifting her own mug to her mouth. She paused, the mug an inch away, and then stuck her tongue out. There was a sharp pop as a bolt of static jumped to her tongue, and she grinned before taking another sip.
“Maybe?” he admitted, eyeing what was left in his own mug. He lifted it up and stared at it for a moment. “I kind of don’t remember.” He titled the cup up, making sure to just take a small sip this time.
Sweetness poured across his tongue, succulent and pure, but tangy at the same time. But there was something else to it as well, something tart that he’d never tasted that mixed with the tang and the sweetness.
Then the sparks hit. He could feel them, rolling over his tongue and through his teeth like beads, leaving a tingling, numbing sensation in their wake that quickly faded. He swallowed, and the beads seemed to stretch as they moved back before snapping down his throat and settling in his stomach with a rumble that almost felt like thunder.
“So?”
“Alright,” he said, thumping his chest with one hoof and getting an actual rumble from his stomach in return, “I’m sold. That has to be one of the coolest drinks I’ve ever had. What’s in it?”
“No idea,” Vinyl admitted, picking up the pitcher in her magic and motioning towards his cup. He nodded and held it out.
“Thanks.”
“No problem,” she said as more of the bright green drink spilled into his cup. “Anyway, I know it’s got pineapple in it, and kiwis, but past that, I’m stumped and Jam Roll isn’t talking. I know it’s got thunder in it somehow,” her stomach rumbled, and she grinned, “but how Jam or his wife get it into the drink? I have no idea.” She took a longer, deeper drink, and let out a squeak as her mane arced. “It’s probably a mystery I’ll never get the answer to.”
Nova nodded as he tried to press his own mane back down. I’m glad I don’t have a mirror. I really don’t want to know what I look like right now.
There was a clatter as the beads parted, and Jam Roll trotted onto the balcony. He took one look at Nova, snorted and then asked “All at once?” Vinyl nodded and he burst out laughing.
“Hey, pon,” he said, slapping a hoof against Nova’s back. “Vinyl here didn’t warn you what you’d be drinking?”
“I tried,” Vinyl said. “He chugged it to fast.”
“Well, at least now you be knowing why we call it Shock! Look at it dis way,” he said as Nova managed to get one part of his mane to lay flat, “at least dere’s nopony else up ‘ere to be seeing you, right?” He chuckled and popped a small notepad out of his front pocket. “So, what can I be getting you two fine ponies?”
Vinyl made her order, swapping out, Nova noticed, the side the shrimp came with for some of the jerk patties his own order would come with. Jam took both of their orders without further comment past “oh, dat's being a good choice,” and as soon as he’d jotted them down, promised that it would be a ten minute wait before vanishing back through the bead wall.
“I like it here,” Vinyl said as the earth pony vanished. “The prices are a little steep, sure, and I know he's hamming up his accent, but he and his wife are way tight, and he’s really good about giving me a bit of privacy.”
“That’s why we’ve got the balcony to ourselves?” Nova asked, eyeing the other empty table.
“Well, that and it’s not exactly a rush-hour for lunch right now.” She took another sip of her drink and Nova followed suite, the drink sparking against his teeth and down his throat. “If it was, he’d eventually seat someone up here if he had to, but most of the time he knows I appreciate the peace and quiet.”
She took another sip of her drink, probably a heavier one, he guessed, based on the shudder that ran through her body. “Wow. That hits the spot.” She set her cup back down and looked right at him. “So, were you a member of the Guard before you ended up assigned to the Dusk Guard? Or did you join the Dusk Guard right from the start?”
“I…” he paused, his drink halfway to his mouth. “I guess you could say I joined at the start. Sort of.” I really didn’t have much of a choice except the farm or making a run for it, and I was tired of that.
“I see. What did you do before that?”
Nova winced. “I’d really rather not discuss that if it’s all the same to you.” He took another sip of his drink. Now that he was expecting the jolt rather than being surprised by it, it was almost better.
“Alright,” Vinyl said, nodding at him as he set his drink down. “Well, in that case, can I just ask you one question? You don’t have to answer,” she said as he cocked an eyebrow at her, his gut clenching once more. He could feel his ears trying to lay flat against his head, and he forced them to stay still. “But if you could, I really would like to know.”
For a moment he stared at her, his mind bubbling as he tried to pin down a single, audible response. Yes or no? What do I tell her? Vinyl continued to stare in his direction, eyes unreadable behind her glasses.
Oh come on, what’s the worst thing she could ask? She probably just wants to know if she’s going to have to worry about any more of those golem things breaking into her club. He shrugged and leaned forward on his elbow. Or she’ll just ask something about what I used to do, and I push it off.
“Alright,” he said, his voice surprisingly steady even to his own ears. “What do you want to ask?”
“Well,” Vinyl said, rubbing the back of her neck with one hoof, “this is kind of an awkward question, but how’d you go from being a professional thief to a Guard—”
Nova snapped back in his seat, the words hitting him with almost physical force. She knew. He didn’t know how, but she knew. How? But she kept going, and all his composure vanished as her question continued, his mouth falling open even as his stomach gave one last fearful twist.
“—and why did you rob me?”
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Aaaaand he's screwed. Then again, this is Vinyl, so who knows?
Interesting interrogation technique - when she decides she don't like the answers she will force feed him with whole pitcher of Shock won't she?
I mean it gotta be illegal drink - sounds to dangerous to be sold legally 
Like something from twilight basement!
!
Nova got caught. Best to just fess up honestly, readers would also get to figure out. He could try escaping, but that wouldn't do much since Nova is kind of a high profile character in Canterlot.Only other option is to have something interrupt the conversation, like a mugging.
4128250
There is a critical detail here that people are missing though.
Tune in next week!
4128265
Shock is actually 100% legal! It's no worse then hitting yourself with a decently low-power taser. On the inside. Sure, you might want to not let grandpa with his weak heart take a whole pitcher at once, but if you can handle a nice buzz, you can drink Shock.
On a side note (which I forgot to put in the authors note), Shock is one of my personal favorites for things I had to invent for the series. I'd love to actually try some.
4128303
This is Nova. The kid can vanish. If he wants to run, he could be in Seaddle before anyone even realizes where to look.
4128397 Still I don't think he would run. I'd think his team would be competent enough to track him down if need be. Us readers will get to see soon enough.
Also, for Shock, not exactly this, but I was playing around in high school physics class with a Van De Graaff machine, and I put a bottle of fruit punch to the device for about ten minutes while the teacher was lecturing. Then, deciding to take a sip, I proceeded to get zapped a bit. It was amusing.
I love the crazy magic drinks people come up with. Shock, Highground ("Hi ground!" *thud*), Mind Bombs (multicolored smoke comes out your ears), Pan Galactic Gargle Basters...I just love these things.
Very nice. This and the last chapter are awesome.
In deep, I tells ya!
4128430
Wait, this is actually possible? Someone get on this! We need some tests!
4128723
Shock is one of those things that's sits firmly in the camp of "I'm writing about this because I can't have something like it.
4128815
Fixed. And glad you're enjoying it. We'll see more of Nova hanging out at the bazaar in the future...
4129942
So Vynl Scratch got a decent-enough glance at him when he swiped from her?
4134147 Indeed. To a degree it's "screw regular drinks, we have frickin' magic!" and I love it. Magic, which we view as being so freaking awesome or mysterious is used for something so mundane because in their world it's "why not?" It adds a level of "yeah, magic exists as a common thing in this world" to me and really makes a world feel more real.
4128397
...well, at least it's not scumble
This is a comment about Rise and its three side storys. I post it here because it is the point furthest into the future of the universe avaible (not including the crossover).
At the beginning of my read I was amazed by the characterisation of the princesses. Unlike many other ficts they acted as it would be excepted while staying canon. This for many writers unassailable grap to see beeing taken seemingly effortlessly was my reason to read further.
Your style of writing was at that point like coffee keeping me awake, really good and strong coffee.
Althrough Rise is labled as adventure it does not take on many of those cliches. Your characters does have a goal but they are not travelling through all of everywhere to get there while meeting every chapter new people and having to solve small quests (every read Eragon or similar adventures?). There is allways something new but that are the character themselve and what they are doing and how they react. Even in the side storys you keep that (while calling it Slice of Live becouse the goal is missing). And it may not feel like a full-blood adventure but it definitly feel like a adventure.
I adore how you set up the goal long, looong before it became clear that it would be the thing the Dusk Guard would have to investigate. First just as small footnotes that Equestria is not as crime free as it seems. Than playing with the reader by introducing some ways in wich the robberys may occur (Luna s doormagic, hijaking bandits/changelings, Sombras followers) and for what goal they may have (Sombra chants "Chrystalzzz") while staying completly original in my mind (has anyone ever guessed correctly before you revealed it?).
Story wise marvelus!
The one thing I did not like was the gear. Sky Bold may be a genius but the idea to create armor out of crystals only becouse of their resistant qualitys I find strange. Not only are those crystals brittle (unlike tough steel which can be extremly hard as well) but as well extremly expensive and non repairable.
The bodysuite? Understandable and have a reason why they are not used wide spread (princess private hord of nearly forgotten bits).
The mods? Similar through out reasons for their current use.
The Hummingbird? Marvelous constructed.
Following proof of concept ideas out of the middle age would be scale armour (sadly not silent but by using enchanted steel as plates and working the crystals in sufficiently thickness on top without giving them room to move and make noise (for further reduce of noise could the etches of frequently touching plates be covered with cloth)) while in Equestria the dragons are proof of concept for these type of armor.
Yeah. I could not warm up to it...
Alle the characters work well with each other. There is no denying it. You have switched the POV frequently between them and others so the reader could learn to know them. You stated it in a later comment that you find it hard to write out of the POV of certain characters and it is understandable that during the introduction everything was told out of Steel Songs POV.
Neverless I want to ask if you have noticed, that you particular never wrote out of Sabras POV? Until reading The Definition of Strength he appeard to me as an wholesome complete character. And kind of boring as if you have only needed a sixth member.
Dawn with her aloof facade and professional cold felt right with her few appearances as POV-character.
I regeted it that Steel only got his moments while beeing at his sisters place but given the amount of paperwork he had to fight it would have been boring most likly.
You used Nova and Sky Bold frequently but thinking back I feel like you always used Hunter to tell the story.
Yes, all had their moments but this is how I fell thinking back on it.
As a final word I want to say that I happily await the next update.
4136458
Maybe?
4138058
Eeyup. If I ever end up in Equestria, I'm finding myself a glass of Shock to celebrate.
And since it isn't plot critical, the drink is made by mixing charged thunderclouds into the mix near the end. Jam Roll's wife is a pegasus. So, now you know the secret island ingredient!
4148504
To arms, my fingers! Prepare the keyboard!
By Celestia's beard that's a lot of text!
Ok, *ahem!*
First of all, glad you enjoyed the Dusk Guard so much and are having a blast with the series. And I'm especially glad you enjoyed my portrayal of the Princesses. I spent a lot of time thinking about what they would be like, how they could be both personable and yet immortal demigods and worked hard to get their characters just right in my head and then on paper. I'm glad you appreciate the effort and that I was able to make them real. We're going to see more of them and their sort of "semi-hooves off" advice as well as direct orders in the future.
Second, I'm glad you enjoyed the adventure! The reason it feels a little different than something like Eragon is because "The Dusk Guard" isn't just Adventure, it's also an Epic Fantasy. Which makes it an adventure epic like LotR or The Wheel of Time. Which doesn't mean that the action will be any less intense (after all, I'll bet those last few chapters of "Rise" had you sucked in to the point of no return) but that the stage is vast. I can't give anything away, but just as "Rise" started off at a gradual pace and then began to pick up speed, the saga as a whole follows a similar arc. Stick with this to the end, and you're going to see some seriously cool stuff happen. In other words "Rise" is the slowest moment of the entire series.
And of course, that plays into the gradual reveals. While I can say that some readers have guessed some things correctly (a few have figured out that Golden wasn't the real figure behind the curtain), I can say with confidence that there are several things that no one has yet actually figured out (and that includes the TV Tropes page). There are enough scarce clues to sort of put the pieces together, but no one has yet. I expect when book two arrives, there will be some very "WHAT!?" moments, followed by "OOooooooh, so that's what that meant."
And yes, that is a challenge to the really astute readers out there to do a second read-through and see what you pick up. I've laid out my spider-web carefully, and on a second read through, you might notice a few key things or lines that seem ... out of place. Someone once commented on "Rise" having only a few logical errors and I had to
because I know what they were referring to, and ... well... *insert maniacal laughter here*
So no, as of yet there are still a few pieces of the puzzle that no one has guessed or put together. That said, I'm not going to leave them that way. All will be explained in time.
It is a bummer that you couldn't get into the gear though. If it helps, try to think of it more as Mjolnir armor or the nanosuits from Crysis. Except using magic instead of science to enhance and improve. And what you've seen here is only the Mark I designs. Yes, it's expensive, but it's pretty durable, tough, and serves the team well (and you'll see more of this in the future, like I said, for now it's Mark I, but as things really wind up, the armor is going get to strut its stuff). I'm not going to spoil anything, but if you have technical questions about stuff, I can probably answer them. Crystal is brittle for us, yes, but as you might have noticed, this particular crystal is pretty tough stuff. That said, you saw it get beat up in the battle at the end of "Rise," and their gear is going to suffer a lot more wear and tear as the saga moves on. Huzzah for realistic battle damage!
Oh, and here's a fun fact. One of my alpha-readers was a steam-enthusiast engineer, and both The Hummingbird and the superboilers that power it are completely viable. How's that for cool? If only we had access to the magic supplies Sky Bolt does ... I could be typing this from the deck of my steam-powered airship!
I deliberately only wrote one scene in "Rise" from Sabra's PoV as I didn't quite trust myself to understand his mindset or character at that point. Which was one of the reasons I was both excited and nervous to write "The Definition of Strength." Fortunately, I got into his head, and that story turned out all right. But for the most part, "Rise" bounced between Steel, Nova, and Hunter, although Steel and Nova were the two that got the most development. I can promise that by the end of the series, I'll have done my best to give each of the characters their due over the course of the saga with regards to viewpoints, and each member of the Guard will have had their moment of glory. It sounds like you enjoyed Hunter's PoV the most though (from what you remember) which probably has to do with how laid back he is.
Anyway, I'm glad you enjoyed "Rise" and that you're enjoying the side stories. There's still a lot more to come, and a lot of surprises incoming! Also, since you enjoyed my work, I'd also like to point you towards my sole published work so far: One Drink. The sequel hits next month with the force of a bomb, so definitely check it out so you can be ready! I hope you enjoy it (and not just because you buying my stuff helps keeps me afloat, although there is that)!
Also, there's a Dusk Guard contest going on here that closes in a few days you might want to check out as well!
Thanks for reading!
4148769
Thanks for the fast answere!
Epic Fantasy I have not considered. It fit. And I find Rise not slow at all but nicely paced. And memorable adventure in wich the characers did not get herded from one point to the next.
To the armor: Do you now the difference between though and hard? Diamonts are hard but brittle. Bronze is though but weak. Hardness and thoughness are different and to archive both is hard to impossible because they cancel each other out.
A stone will not change form no matter how often it is hit but just one hit to hard will break it. A metal ball instead will change its form wich every hit a bit but never break.
Additionally has a extremly hard armor another flaw. Where goes the energy of an hit? If the armor does not absob it (usually through deformation) it has to go somewhere. The first cars build had an extremly hard car body. So hard that even in a crash the damage was small. Where did the energy go? The drivers got thrown around in the car and broke their bones.
Extremly though armor does not break but absorb as much energy as possible while deforming as little as possible. Its physiks.
....
I feel like a nerd.
4149163
Well yeah, that's why we don't make armor out of diamonds. Diamonds are tough but brittle.
But between the alternating layers of the armor and undersuit, the stuff the Dusk Guard wear is both durable and capable of taking a solid hit and redistributing it (multiple layers with different angles of crystal formation ensure that it's like trying to break through a phone book: page by page). And ... in addition, it's also magic (and yes, that's a hand-wave, but under the Rule of Cool). Basically, consider the stuff much hardier than the metal armor the Royal Guard wear in addition to having other factors going for it. Their armor is made out of the same stuff the crystal golems were, and those suckers were durable.
Oh shit
Also, Shock sounds like the coolest drink ever.
4149207
Yeah, I think it's pretty simple. Good armor (or car body, or whatever) is usually deformable, as the deforming absorbs the kinetic energy that would otherwise injure the wearer. But if you have an enchantment on it to dissipate the kinetic energy, you can build the armor much, much harder than you could otherwise.
Dat ending.
shock- because the gargleblaster needed SOME competition.
Shock sounds like a crazily carbonated drink that has been electrically charged imbued with the essence of a sour head
Now I totally want to try some Shock. That stuff sounds delicious
Sounds to me like Shock is inspired be Rawberry Powerthirst "made with lightning, REAL LIGHTNING"
mweheheh busted! really this is getting more exciting than I expected when I readed rhe description .
The Shock is a good part, thr description made me think about the grog from monkey island xD
Another great cliffhanger after so much teasing. lucky me I can read rhe next part righy Now
really? really?
i thought that would happen!
u are correct. shock is awesome!
Nova, time to learn teleportation in the next 5 seconds.
Shock! Best drink ever in any word.
4880422 yep, also I think that was a bigger shock than the drink.
4179151 of course it did but I doubt that it feels like your brain is being bashed out with a slice of lemon wrapped around a large gold brick.
Wow! Talk about a cliffhanger!
Two tiny corrections, though:
I believe you meant to say "Look at it dis way"
That should be a question mark at the end.
Okay, now I am thirsty for lightning-based fruity drinks. Seriously, that shock stuff sounds delicious.
mmm, and Jamaican cuisine, never had any, must rectify that.
SO!
FRIGGIN!
BUSTED!
Now I'm wondering how many crazy idea drinks like shock are actually out there right now but never managed to get commercially viable