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Fluttershy wakes up only to find she is on her way back to her old secret life. She goes on a mission with her handsome partner to save all of Equestria from the evil mastermind in hiding, Tocxi. Fluttershy is the best agent around, nopony knows this except for the whole agency she works for.
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You wrote ,"I wonder our loud" our should be out.
This story has some issues.
1. Probably needs a crossover tag because of Doctor Who. Not really that tragic, so maybe remove tragedy. Maybe OC tag because of Toxci, Zaine, Scorchfeather, Fluttershy's dad and Clutterflim.
2. PACING. We were introduced to Fluttershy's secret past with no explanation, at least spend a few paragraphs explaining why she's a secret agent, or why she pretends to be shy.
We are introduced to Scorchfeather and Zaine, who have so little personality and are only around for 500 words.
Next you have Fluttershy's dad, who is shown for about three sentences and never mentioned again. Either expand on this or take it out.
The Doctor is seriously out of character. He knows the future but not Fluttershy, Gilda knows him, but he doesn't know Gilda (he is famous though, but this should be explained).
Clutterflim was introduced so randomly, at least some more stuff with him. Why is Fluttershy, the apparently awesome secret agent, always getting kdnapped and/or pinned down so easily? This happened twice in less than 3000 words, which is probably a record.
Toxci is your villain, but the only thing I know about him is his name. Who is he? Why is he a villain? Motivation? Back story? Your story should at least answer some of these questions.
I don't even know why Gilda is here. She's just here for some reason.
It is also way too fast. From what I've seen, the small amount of info you have could be turned into 50k+ epic adventure, with great characterization on Fluttershy and her past, and on the Doctor's guilt (if you don't even know what guilt I'm talking about, then you really shouldn't write about Doctor Who).
3. References. Fallout Equestria, Roseluck and fixed points all stick out like a sore thumb. I like references as much as the next guy, and this is a random fic, but they don't really do anything at all. They don't even feel random. Except for the fallout one, it was just weird.
4. The agency. Super secret agency that Fluttershy works at? This could be so many awesome things, but you don't even describe the room they're in. You really should focus on the agency.
5. Description. Get more. You have almost none.
So... Take my advice if you want to, or not, but that just means this fic won't get any better. It did have readable formatting and okay grammar.
Interesting concept, the first secret agent Fluttershy I've ever seen.
Just saying, I am not the best writer ever. I am pretty new to this. I will take advice and I am working on this story a bit don't worry. I have not read Fallout Equestria. (I have but not all of it, only like 1 chapter) But thanks. I am working on a back story so yeah. I am fixing the errors right away!
Fixed it.
I forgot that I had the Fallout Equestria thing in it lol.
I likes :3
This is just... eh. The flashback - was it a Flashback? - is a bit jarring and confusing.