The Brony, The Scientist, and The Other one

by fieeesh

Never trust me with redstone

I loaded up the world and invited my two co-hosts.

"Okay, today's Minecraft mod review is special because it's something I'm very fond of."

I couldn't see his face, but I could tell Jared was frowning."Please don't tell me its My Little Pony."

I had a madman's grin as I said "Well obviously what else is supercallifradgeilisticexpialodocius? I mean anything else would simply be atrocious."

Connor was looking at the giant wall behind me. "So I noticed that there are a lot of mods loaded, why?"

"Because I needed them to build my amazing Redstone contraption that will teleport us to EQUESTRIA!" I said with obvious gusto. "If you will look to your left you will see the Elements of Harmony neatly displayed. Now I've assigned each element to a different boss in each mod. We and by that I mean you two have to kill each boss, acquire all six elements, and then you have to get the fourteen specifically named blocks required to make the portal to the final showdown with an evil foe, once you have defeated him you shall return home." I finished standing in front of my Redstone contraption.

I could feel Jared scratching his head in confusion. "This sounds more like a new series than a mod review."

"Exactly because it is." I pulled the switch to the machine and suddenly our Minecraft's simultaneously crashed.

"Oh come on." I could hear Connor lamenting the crash over Skype. I shook my head. "Guess we're gonna have to restart the server."As I reached for the Minecraft button my screen suddenly started flashing rainbow colors. "Well shi-
Then we were whisked away through our computers on a journey we never expected.

--------------------------------At Canterlot-------------------------------

*Entering backstory mode*

Twilight Sparkle and the rest of the Mane Six ran into the Canterlot throne room. "Twilight thank you for coming," Celestia said. Worry plainly etched on her face.

"We came as soon as we heard Princess.What's happened to the Elements of Harmony?" Twilight asked.

"The Elements have disappeared."

"What do you mean?" Twilight had a look of confusion on.

"As best as we can figure their disappearance was caused by three strange creatures that appeared in a flash of light earlier."

"Where are the creatures?"

"In the dungeon.Follow me" Celestia began to walk towards a small door in the far corner o the room.

*Re-entering story mode*

As I woke up from my stupor I looked around.I was in a large fairly well-furnished cell with Isaac Clarke and Delsin Rowe.Now I may not the most intelligent person in the world but I had read enough fanfics that when you wake up in a cell with no memory of how you got there it probably means you've been teleported to Equestria. I figured that was the stupidest way to explain the situation and went with it.From further down the hall I heard something like the sound of heels on tile naturally I assumed it was the police.I took a glance at my own outfit and groaned when I noticed what it was, I was dressed like the merchant dude from Resident Evil...something or other I don't know.I decided to wake up Delsin and Isaac whom I deduced were in fact Connor and Jared respectively.

"Piss off I'm trying to sleep," Jared mumbled.I shook my head and resorted to poking his face.

"Get up, your nap can wait."Eventually, he slapped my hand away and got up yawning the whole time.I then got to work on Connor who was substantially easier to awaken.

"So to review the situation, We look like our Minecraft characters, We don't know where we are, and we have no currently conceivable way home," I said all of this while remaining perfectly calm, like I said earlier I've read a lot of fanfiction.

Connor looked a little bit nervous when he said "What are we going to do?"

"Simple we try and sort out whatever misunderstanding landed us in jail." Jared looked awfully proud of that idea.

I pointed out the obvious flaw in that plan "We don't why or where we are in jail so my guess, they probably won't speak English." The sound from earlier was getting louder I was beginning to question just how far away it was.After waiting and talking amongst ourselves for awhile, the sound stopped and was replaced by the sound of a large door creaking open and in walked the one the only Princess Celestia.All three of us were stunned by this, well Jared and Connor were more stunned than me but I was stunned because I didn't think my stupid idea was true.

Behind Celestia came the Mane Six.Celestia spoke in a commanding and slightly scary tone when she asked "Who are you three, how did you get here, and where are the Elements of Harmony."

"I stepped forward and put a hand on my chest "Allow me to explain my liege." I pointed to Connor and said "He is a master inventor who combines magic and science together to create items of unparalleled brilliance." I then pointed to Jared "He is a warrior who fought hundreds of foes without fear.The two of them combined are great heroes who have saved countless lives." I concluded.

Celestia raised an eyebrow a faint smile playing on her lips. "I noticed that you neglected to include yourself in your description why?Do you have something to hide."

I smiled "No I have nothing to hide I simply have no great deeds to speak of I am but a simple merchant who travels with and supplies them.Onto the other questions, We do not know how we got here wherever here is and I do not know where these Elements of Harmony are but I have an idea on how to figure out." I could tell Celestia believed me on us not knowing how we got here however she seemed hesitant to trust us.

Finally, Twilight spoke up "Princess if what it says is true then maybe they could help us get the Elements back and if not then you return them to the cell."She finished with a look that said "Please Princess I want to study them and if possible befriend them." But that could just be me.

Celestia looked to Twilight and back to us.She sighed "I believe you are right Twilight perhaps they can help.But you are responsible for their behavior."

The look on Twilights face could have killed a pug with adorableness. "Oh thank you thank you thank you don't worry Princess I promise they won't cause any problems.You have my word."

Connor apparently decided now was the best time to speak up. "That's great and all but uh when's dinner I'm starving."

I knew the perfect thing to say. "Oh my god Connor you can't just ask when's dinner."

Author's Note:

I am quite proud of how this story is at the moment and I hope I can continue to make chapters that I enjoy as much as this one.

NOW WITH IMPROVED GRAMMAR (possibly)

Comments

[Flint Sparks]

You need to put a space between your punctuation marks and the next word.

[Grape Crush]

As 4831416 said, you need spaces in between each punctuation. It is very offputting and may earn you downvotes.

[Flint Sparks]

4831471 To add to this, your title and descriptions should never have errors. It's the first thing people should see, so polish it up! No excuses!

[Zucc_The_Ducc]

Minecraft, mods and ponies. If it didn't have such bad punctuation I would give it 10/10 but still I love all three of those things so /10

[The Twisted Brony]

m.quickmeme.com/img/70/707d06245c9e5ac37338672d5e4ff25ba8e47ddb2b58cf1d93c9ff97058b303e.jpg

[IAreBox]

Grammar is atrocious, but still a good start to a possibly good story.

[fieeesh]

Thank you to everyone helping with my grammar I knew it would be atrocious

[fieeesh]

I just flabberghasted by the amount of people who seem to enjoy this story.Thank you and the next chapter is currently being worked on.So stay tuned

[Stegasaurus]

I agree with the general consensus here. When you use commas there should be a space after them. For example:

"Sometimes, I like to eat lots of pie."

When you finish a sentence, and use a period, you should put a space after said period. My example here is every sentence I wrote. Next, the advice about your title and description is, absolutely, true. You should NEVER have mistakes there. A title should have the first letter of every word capitalized except words like of or to. Punctuation spaces still apply. One more piece of advice, when you insert unnecessary words into your sentences you are best of just putting commas near them. Be careful though, to many commas are annoying. For example, you say:

"Get up your nap can wait."

The better form would be:

"Get up, your nap can wait"

Or, even better:

"Get up! Your nap can wait!"

This is just my two cents. Good job with your work, I hope you continue with your writing.

Edit: Also, spaces after quotation marks.

[Frosty the Batty]

Yeah, this fic is awsome so far

[clarence112]

I pulled the switch to the machine and suddenly our Minecraft's simultaneously crashed.

-----Minecraft crash report-----
//My bad
Time: 9/15/15 11:25 PM
Description: There was a severe problem during redstone ticking that has caused the game to fail

cpw.mods.fml.common.LoaderException: Java.lang.GGuJustBrokePhysicsExeption: A mod has attempted and succeeded to break reality.

A detailed walkthrough of the error, its code path and all known details is as follows:
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Have Fun in EQ. -RailcraftOfAllThings