The day that Chaos rose up and attacked was the worst day of Twilight Sparkle's new life. Not because she failed to stop him, but because a stranger did what she could not. A creature never before seen in Equestria stood by Celestia’s side, and together, they stopped Chaos. Now Equestria is left to rebuild, and to wonder, who really was their savior? Where did he come from, and why did he fight? Celestia and Twilight are the two with the most questions and the most scars. They both know that their scars might never heal, and they will never have the answers they want, but maybe together they can find the strength to move forward.
Chapters (1)
huh, this small intro on the page is really interesting to make it worth the read. I should do that a bit later in the day.
You seriously need to start proofing your story descriptions.
The day that Chaos rose up and fought was the worst day of Twilight Sparkle's new life. Not because she failed to stop him, but because a stranger did what she could not. A creature never before seen in Equestria stood by Celestia’s side, and together, they took Discord down. Now Equestria is left to rebuild, and to wonder, who was their savior? Where did he come from, and why did he fight? Celestia and Twilight are the two with the most questions and the most scars. They both know that their scars might never heal, and they will never have the answers they want, but maybe together they can find the strength to move forward.
That's just a basic grammar and punctuation pass--there are other improvements you could make (for instance, changing "wonder, who was their savior?" to "wonder who their savior really was.") It's a small thing, but story descriptions make a big impact, and your descriptions always have worse grammar, punctuation, and phrasing than your stories. It's likely a factor that gets your stories fewer views than they deserve.
4034333 makes sense, thanks fer pointing that out. I would hope it's not why people choose to avoid the story but it's their loss if it is.
So this is the rest of the story.
Excellent work.
(Also, I'll try to be a more faithful editor again
)
I love it I actually had tears in my eyes it was so freaking awesome.
4035301 glad you loved it
4034713 sounds good
I queued this up thinking, 'Eh, it'll be another kind-of-sad fic.' I don't care to admit it, but there've been more times i've been wrong in the last two weeks than most of the last ten years, but this mistake takes the cake.
I'll need to add a little context: I like sad, happy, whatever a story can give other than mindless gore. Most 'sad' stories don't phase me, really. Of the, oh, 1500+ stories i've read and enjoyed, only a dozen or so stories have come close to moving me to tears, and I'll happily add this to the list. Only one on that list had me laughing so hard i cried and i'd have to look it up again to get its name, with as many stories as i've blown through the last year and a half.
Silver, you've done an excellent job here. Per my own rules, (3 stories faved, or 200k words, whichever comes first), you've got yourself a new follower. Truthfully, I'd've made an exception just for this story alone with how well it effected me. Not affected, effected. You've not hurt me in any way, you've shown me that I still care about the show, and still continue to care for its characters very much.
This 9k word story literally just flew by for me. I did notice like one or two errors, but for my own life, I can't seem to remember where they were.
4035408
Great.
4034333 That would be my fault actually, as since I read it before he posted, I should've at least pointed something like that out.
4036914
that makes me the happiest author I have ever been. I am so glad to have effected you in such a good way. I was not having a great day and this alone made my whole day just fine.
So discord killed fluttershy in a fit of rage after she died? Is that what i should assume the cause is?
4037433 theres more to it if you read between the lines. It was grief stricken rage to be precise the reason of which I did not give
4037437
okay. im confused. he killed her in greif striken rage, but later it seems he was in the rage because he killed her. which caused the other?
4040230 it's both. He was sad and angry so he did something unforgivable which made him just plain angry with himself.