"STOP TOUCHING MY GODDAMN HAIR!" ~ Izuru Kamukura/Hajime Hinata, Super Danganronpa 2. Honestly, that is the best quote! ANd if you haven't heard of Danganronpa... this is awkward. Look at avatar ^^^^.
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Welcome, I am Princess Twilight Sparkle, daughter of Princess Luna, and goddess of the Moon. My story is in many different forms, none true, sit, this is my story.
Cover art: http://fc08.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2013/282/2/7/princess_twilight_sparkle_by_leffenkitty-d6pukvj.jpg
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pretty good
Adding this to read later... seems there are a bunch of other incomplete fics laying around by the author, so this will probably stay in the read later for quite a while.
3983012 Thanks, RM
Sorry I couldn't get around to editing your story, school's keepin' me busy.
The pacing is just a little too fast. Not to mention the fillyfooler thing came right out of nowhere in their conversation.
I will follow for now... despite those things just because I like the idea.
3983424 it ok
Okay... premise. Been done before but you might have an interesting take on it. So I am willing to give it the benefit of the doubt.
Telepathy? Okay, I can dig it. Deserves some more exposition or at least SOME explanation. Seriously, this needs more than a one off line about them just having that ability.
The filly fooler comment, as others have said, seemed to have come out of left field. And it makes RD look like a jerk.
Technical... your grammar and sentence structure needs work. The sentences felt a bit disjointed and the mistakes were somewhat glaring.
So... could definitely use some improvement but there is potential here. Get someone to proof read it for you and see about working in some more exposition or space it out a bit more.
3990883 Yeah, I'm not a PinkLight fan, but my editor is. Complain to her.
4066799 Just a couple of more days, little grasshopper, a couple of more days...
I tend to like story's like this but it seems really rushed still good just rushed
i love it i am awaiting the next chapter when that comes out and why is this story On Hiatus now
4086288 ok and that ok you don't have to go in a corner
Guardian of Eros i got a question why did you delete your own comment
4086304 I dunno, and you can just call me Eros.
4086310 ok and i will just call you Eros
Twilight seems a bit quick to accept that Luna is her mother.
Also, Rainbow just outed Twilight to her brother? Is somepony butthurt about a failed relationship? Or perhaps she's aiming to be banished to a celestial object of her choice.
That...was...AWESOME
I need the next chapter...how soon will it be up???
4086721 It will be up by tomorrow hopefully.
I think this might be to much for me to read. Has any body ever had that feeling when you get to a part of a movie, show, or story that's just not what you expected, you get a strange feeling in your stomach, that can stop you in your tracks. But I think this story is good and I will try to read it. Even if it kills me.
4086988 YEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!
By the god of harmony i say; let this be famos! And add all of the awsomeness asap!
In all honestly I like this story but its WAY WAY WAY WAY WAYYYY TO RUSHED!
huh, she accepted that rather quickly...
O...K...
I feel that I understood the story perfectly, i.e. twilight being Princess Luna's daughter etc. I also found this a very fun idea.
*takes deep breath*
Now for the "critic-y" part: As a few others have mentioned, It was very rushed. I honestly was a bit put off by Twilight Sparkle blindly accepting that her mother is princess Luna, formerly NMM, and completely skipping any period of adjustment. You could have gotten a lot more mileage out of your readers if you had had even a few paragraphs about a disbelieving Twilight slowly coming to terms with this, or maybe if she had reacted with indignation and disbelief... She was raised by Mr. and Mrs. Sparkle after all... In other words, Twilight Sparkle would never have reacted this way. Pinkie pie, maybe, but never Twilight. "Lesson Zero" is a good example of the way Twilight reacts to big shocks like this.
My only other point, and a kind of nit-picky one at that: Why would Shining Armor care if Twilight is a filly-fooler? (my views on her character and sexual orientation notwithstanding) He is (IMHO) the one who should be the most O.K. with that. He grew up with her, implying that he knows what interests her, and has a good grasp on her personality. I see his reaction as more of a "not a surprise
" than "I am NOT okay with this 
" On a related note, why include this at all at this point? If it's for a future plot point, my advice is to just preface the plot point with something like this (i'm following your version of armor BTW):
etc. etc.
I like this story, Jusy don't be afraid to write longer chapters, and don't try to rush these out, take your time, get a pre/proofreader if you feel you need one, but most importantly: No matter what, Write what YOU want!!! Anything I or another commenter say are just that: Comments. Follow/ignore them at your own volition.
Always keep writing,
~Flutters
Would you mind using a [url] tag for the image link? It's far neater and allows one-click navigation to the image page.
Guardian of Eros i got a question when will the next chapter come out for this story
4136362 Soon, I am working on it now, hopefully over 2k words. Going into in depth and adding choices that you guys can make.
4139277 ok
My only problem with this story is the lack of explanation. Everyone just accepts all of these massive world changing truths immediately and never even ask for an explanation. This is Twilight we are talking about. She NEEDS to know these things; it's in her nature to always be inquisitive. She is very OOC in this.
:D YAY MY 3 HEADCANNONS COMBINED. 1 CADENCE IS CELESTIAS DAUGHTER. 2. TWILIGHT IS LUNAS DAUGHTER. 3, TWILIGHT IS RELATED TO THE ROYAL PONY SISTERS AND CADENCE.
This seems too rushed for comfort. I am starting to lose enthusiasm.
shes taking this way too well.
Methinks you are rushing it wayyyy to much.
If you wanted to write a fic where twilight is leader then you could have started further into the plot and just come up with a suitable back story (delivered in a good way of course). Preferably one which includes at-least some type of emotion on twilight's part.
Defiantly taking way too well. and why should she and Cadence replace Luna and Celstia. Makes more sense for them to be Twilight goddess of Stars and Cadance Godess of love. need to rewrite this.
AAAAGGHHH UPDATE PLLLLLEEEEAAAAASSSSSEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's a neat idea, but well given Twilight is Twilight.... it's just a bit too accepting, no why's or how. The main 6 would, most likely, have a larger reaction to the news. You also may want to comb the chapters as there are some errors, they only distract but would make it more presentable if they were corrected.
Um more please or is it dead?
Okay.
1. Twilight is extremely accepting. She's not even shocked.
2. Why did you ship Pinkie with Twilight? It's just so wat.
3. The telepathic link. It's completely unneeded, feels extremely forced and just doesn't feel very "mlp".
4. Why is Rainbow such a douche?
I usually don't downvote stories at all, and I will give this story another chance.
I just need to say that I love this. You added aspects of si-fi with the mind-connection thingy (the word/phrase for it just slipped my mind). Another thing I like is the shipping with Twilight and Pinkie. I have never thought of that before, but I like it. Someponys don't like a rushed story, but I find it refreshing to read something of a different pace. I also like the aspect of Princess Twilight Sparkle Goddess of the Moon. I think one of my favorite parts is that Twilight is happy and welcoming to Luna and not angry/shocked. I personally love the idea of Luna's royal regalia controlling the Mon and not her magic. As much as I like Princess Twilight Sparkle Goddess of the Moon, and Twilight being forced to wear regalia, I think the part of the rushiness I didn't quite like is how quickly Twilight would be crowned Goddess of the Moon, and Cadence Goddess of the Sun. Cadence still has the Crystal Empire to rule. The only thing that rules out my comment of the Crystal Empire is if this was written BEFORE that episode. ANYWAY I overall love this story and it would bring much happiness to my heart if you took it off Hiatus.
BTW: I think TwiPie would really work out well as a ship.
+
=
dead
Pls more!!!
me: see's pic "Oh that's cool"
me reads bio "It sounds interesting"
Me see's there's only 2 chapters and 2.2k words "Excuse me what the F"
Uh...what? Kinda a big bomb to drop without explanation or backstory.
Will you be able to make a another chapter soon? I love the story so far
9975963
For real.
Ya this is weird, so Twilight and Cadance are basically replacing Luna and Celestia after 1000 years?