The following is a midquel to my previous completed work, Fallout: Equestria - Outlaw.
Violence and death are an everyday thing in the Wasteland. When you see ponies dying around you on a daily basis–some by your own hoof–you tend to grow numb to it. When the ponies dying are the ones fighting at your side, when the ponies dying are the very first ponies you could ever call your friends and there's not a single thing you can do about it, though...
Suddenly you're not so numb anymore.
Chapters (1)
Check on it later. Gotta sleep first.
I'm glad to see that the ABCs of FoE are finally coming out.
This is very well done, and has a lot of emotion in it.
Great read, I might look at this again after I finish Outlaw.
This was a great story Tofu, I really mean it. Caltrop man, that filly is seriously unlucky and yet lucky at the same time. Now time to go into review mode.
Characters
Despite being a fairly short story, I get the sense that Caltrop, Peridot and Longhorn are good friends and have been for awhile. They banter, care about one another and have distinct personalities. Longhorn acts as the leader of the group, which is fitting, because Caltrop doesn't have that kind of personality or mindset, based on her character in Outlaw and the way she talks and acts. Longhorn is a good leader and a decent strategist, keeping Caltrop close to Peridot so they would both survive, if his plan went tits up, but he's obviously got a problem with minor details. This ultimately gets him and Peridot killed.
I enjoyed Peridot, she's obviously a more experienced mercenary and is a good friend to Caltrop. I see Peridot as the voice of concern and reason for the group, urging caution. Peridot evidently works well with Caltrop and they've had past adventures, so I almost see her as a bit of mentor to the halberd wielding, earth pony.
Caltrop I enjoyed greatly, she's had a tough life. but finally seems to have found a stable and happy duo of friends she can work alongside. She's got good chemistry with her friends who care about her too. She's upgraded her weaponry, always good to hear, a knife on a piece of rebar, isn't as threatening as a full-length halberd. I like Caltrop as a POV protagonist, she's still got some minor issues, like a desire to kill thing, but that's hardly an issue in the Wasteland, it's more a necessity of survival. Caltrop enjoys her line of work too it seems, so it's all the more tragic to see Peridot and Longhorn die, because she'll have to go on alone, without them. I do enjoy Caltrop's sense of humor and how she's not a mare who likes to use fancy words. I really enjoyed her banter and conversations in Buckston and I chuckled when she was staring at Peridot's flank. Whether she had stronger feelings for Peridot as more than a sexy friend, is a little vague, but I like that. It's like she herself, wasn't sure.
Story
The story itself is simple, straightforward and uses plenty of elements from Outlaw. A pretty good combination in my opinion.
Little things I liked
I liked Longhorn's plan, though it was weird, why he avoided telling Caltrop about the Radwasp repellent. I'm guessing he didn't want to tell them, before they reached the hive, so they couldn't really backout or convince him to leave sooner. I understand his motivation to do the job. That Raptor Cloudship made him realize how much firepower, they'll probably need, hence why he took on the job.
I liked Caltrop's character. She's explored more and given more depth. Her explanation about being alone in Outlaw's epilogue is more heartwrenching. Did this experience leave her, wanting to distance herself from ponies? Is that why she was alone for so long? It leaves these little questions and really makes you feel for her, when she shows up at Greaser's figurative doorstep.
I liked the weapon variety. Longhorn's Crossbow and specialized ammunition vaguely reminded me of Green Arrow, but a Crossbow does make sense for the setting, I imagine someone during the war, built a Crossbow and unique bolts, with colorful variants. You can still buy crossbow's today, which have only become more refined and deadly after all. So Finding a Crossbow isn't too unlikely in this setting. The halberd for Caltrop was nice too, it's an archaic weapon, but it suits her.
I liked the use of elements from Outlaw, such as the oil rig explosion, the Raptor cloudship, Mach and the others use to get to it, and a minor appearance from Magnus and the use of Radwasp repellent. I'd definitely love to see more of Caltrop's adventures, and Caltrop going to the person who paid for their services. Perhaps one day, we'll see her, in her own sidestory, and this one-shot will be the prequel or part of that story
I'm guessing the perfume was the anti-rad wasps stuff by the rangers
You have a nasty habit of making your supporting characters so interesting that they need their own story. It's good to hear more about Caltrop, but now I want to know more about her two friends. In fact, you are so good at writing support characters that Mach is not even in my top five best characters from Outlaw. It would be great to have an origin story for Caltrop. The implications of her back story in Outlaw make her sound like a complicated and narratively fertile character.
The only thing I disliked about this story was that with the epilogue, that literally means that Caltrop wandered around for a few months with raiders, went on her own, wandered with these two, and then wandered alone for 15 freaken years. Jease, their character development would of made more sense to had happened after a little more time to be honest. Seeing at best they would of spent around 2 weeks together.