The rewrite is an improvement, looking forward to a next installment!

>>1898018980

Thank you! It was initially going to be chapter two but I combined it with chapter 1.. which ended up being enough of a word count for Equestria Daily. I just got word it passed through proofreaders, so it should be up there in a few days!

>>18981898

Congratulations! I've got a  story myself that needs rewriting before it can be up on Equestria Daily... *looks glumly at it*

Eh, it needs a rewrite anyways.

Now this I like a lot its funny, and I can see this being an episode too! great work!  I just wish this was a twilight and Dash shipping.   please Keep it up!!!

FIRST! hehe I just came from the google.docs chat

I'll repeat my statement from there:

Great chapter. Pinkie lampshading the shipping names was pure gold

This is a good idea

you if Twilight would have told Princess Celestia. what had happened I think she would want to help and not wait and have Twilight do it, I mean these are the elements were talking about.

>>2683826838

That's the thing. Physically, they're fine. The clinic visit doesn't show anything wrong, apart from stuff being on the wrong pony. If needed, they can still easily use the elements :)

Oh boy, this is good stuff.

>>2683826838

Agreed. If nothing else, it would be useful practice in case something like this happened in a more... severe case. Say, mix-ups of internal organs, or incompatible biologies. What if It had been Rainbow Dash and Spike instead of Applejack? Or Gilda? Or even a Diamond Dog?

If I was one of these girls, I'd want a full team of medical magicians, healers, and scientists on hand to study this stuff.

♫♥I look forward to reading what happens next in your story♥♪

I would have enjoyed more if both of RD and AJ switches bodies... Not that I dont like this story.

>>2823228232

I'd say that's been over-done. I've seen (admittedly not read) a few fics of the kind. This, I'd like to hope, is different enough to draw attention  

>>2823428234 i think you really need to mix it up and take away the strength that had and give it to

that way they are BOTH effected heavly by the incedent, also you kinda already alluded to it in this chapter

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR

>>3504035040

Don't worry, chapter 3 is being worked on ;) I just want it to be right

>>2926229262

Chapter 3 should have some of that, you'll see

a bath you say?

Plz say its water proof!

Poooooooor Dashie... Oh colt... Nothing right can happen to poor Dashie, can it? Anyhoof... w00t! First comment! 8D (One thinks) Anyhoof, keep up the great work! Looking forward to chapter 4!

~ Magical Trevor, Minstrel of Equestria

p.s. Thanks for taking your time with the actual shipping.

>>3898638986 *Sighs* Trevor is such a braggart... Sorry! Still looking forward to moar excellence in the next chapter though!

Awesome chapter

>>3898638986

Haha, I was slightly worried you might not really like this after that one commend on ED (though I can't argue with it. It is rather trollestia-ish... I just don't see  Celestia jumping in and fixing everything. More of a mother figure 'guiding' twilight.)

As for shipping, it'll get there :) A personal issue I see with many, many ship fics is the pacing of the shipping itself, rather than the story pacing. Sometimes, it just feels entirely too fast/abrupt. I think something slower is a more accurate portrayal, and I hope I can express this right :)

can i have more.....? i will give you my internets

Trollestia strikes again

Has the magic to help Twilight's friends? lol nope make her do it just for the lulz

LOL Rainbow is right if some one dyed my Wings I would be angry too!

you did a fantastic Twilight too, and the joke about letting her read and study was great, I can see her getting mad over it. Keep it up!

>>3904639046

>>3906639066

Thanks :) It's definitely the most important thing for me. I've seen too many fics break characterization in varying degrees. I don't want that!

>>3898238982

Yes, yes indeed.

(i <3 your choice of icons. SO PERFECT.)

There are so many stylistic and grammatical errors in this fic. If you'd like, I could compile a list for you.

Ah! You have done a fine job mate. Even if they are a bunch of prancin' show ponies!! Gragh!

Get out of here you stupid sniper!

I apologize for that, he sneaks on my computer when I'm not looking. I actually come with a message from the herd.

The herd is pleased, you have our attention! You may live...for now. So long as you do not rush the shipping.

And now, I sign off!

Godspeed you magnificent bastard-BlazingShadowBrony

started reading this on EQD but i like FimFiction much better and glad i found it on here. Love your Story. Keep it upp :D

A bath? I can see where this is going...

I'm not one to really enjoy ship fics, but this one has me interested. At the very least, it seems like you've nailed all the personalities.

>>3898238982

Indeed... It Begins

Oh boy, I can just picture in my mind what will happen during that bath... although since I have a rather dirty mind, it will probably not be similar to what will really happen...

Great story so far, keep it up!!!

>>3943839438

I have my...plans for it ;)

Rainbow is giving AJ a bath? Bow-chicka-wow-wow

“Nice bath, huh?”

“......Shut up.”

LMAO that was great! and AJ got her first wing wood too, all and all very funny work.

“Nice bath, huh?”

“......Shut up.”

Lol, oh Big Mac, you tease. I love where this is going.

granny smith just laughed... she just laughed... wow... Awesome story bro!

yay

Rofl at the ending loool

Keep up the awesome work

Very good read! MOAR!!!

Big Mac the troll?! Never saw that coming... XD EPIC

~ Magical Trevor, Minstrel of Equestria

fantastic

Been very much enjoying the pacing in this story - it doesn't jump straight into shipping, it slowly develops it.

>>4838148381

Glad you like it! It's definitely my biggest aim in this story, to do proper pacing. I see far too many fics just jumping straight in, and it breaks the entire flow :/

>>4838148381 >>4839148391

I absolutely agree with the previous comment. This has some of the best pacing of any shipfic I've read. Can't wait for more, and this is coming from someone who isn't really an AppleDash fan (I'm usually more of a DashiePie fan )

>>4839148391

Indeed, my interest in a story usually immediatly drops significantly when in the first few paragraphs it basically says "pony A has secretly loved pony B for years blah blah blah". This pacing is much more interesting, its a shame that it seems so rare. Hell I'm not even sure I've seen this level of pacing in any other fic before.

>>4843248432

Same goes for me - PinkieDash/Rainbow Pie (whatever) is my favourite shipping. Unfortunately I rarely seem to be able to find stories for it, and then often struggle to find good ones when I do. AppleDash comes in second or third best for me though, but even if it didn't, this fic is good enough that I doubt it would matter

Excellent job thus far with the pacing and humor. Much of my dislike for ship fics stems from the fact that many of them tend to fall into the "THEY ARE IN LOVE" trap. There's no real build-up or plausible explanation as to why the characters are romantically involved, they just... are.

Luckily you haven't fallen into that habit, and for that, you are to be commended. Good work.

If these sort of comments keep up, my ego will swell just like Dash in the mare-do-well episode!

>>4857748577

>>4872048720

I think I've seen a couple fics with a similar pacing, but more often than not it shows the development as a description of past events/realization of past moments. They give a background, but they don't really show it AS IT'S HAPPENING. Which is what I've been attempting with this story. Funnily enough, the buildup is the easy part, as I have a rather clear image of it in my mind. I am still somewhat struggling with my idea of the tipping point.. and hope I can do it justice when I reach that point.

>>4916849168 please by all means point me towards more fics like yours

because this is highly preferable to the normal shipping i read. you are tredding on ground rarely tread upon.

Continue, please.

>>4952649526

Unfortunately, I can't think of any names off the top of my head. I've just spent so much time reading fics lately that it's all a blur!

I however do think somewhere some other fic felt similar pacing-wise.

What a heartwarming fic. Just what I needed after a stressful day!

Don't really have anything significant to add that hasn't been said already so I'll just state that I'm Lovin' the story and can't wait to see AJ trying to fly, that is bound to be funny.

Keep up the good work!

Hehehhehe I can guess whats going to happen next :)

Let me guess: Twilight's flight spell that she used on Rarity in Sonic Rainboom?

>>6711667116>>6717167171

...

You'll see~

>>6717167171 I was going to ask the same thing, then I figured it was too obvious so I just didn't say anything

Twilight's wing spell seems too obvious. I would think Pinkie's candy copter would probably be more interesting with the hot air balloon being the most boring option.

... *Waits patiently for the next chapter*

I vote for steampunkesque wings.  The advantage?  Once things have returned to normal, Applejack can use them!

>>6717167171

I'm thinking either that or the Pinkie-copter.

twilight

I was wondering if that was going to happen to Rainbow. I socked it did not happen sooner. fling is her life.  but what if AppleJack wants to keep the wings?  I don't really know why, but I cant see this ending well

You know, I understand that this would be complicated and everything, but I just find it interesting that Rarity didn't have anywhere near this much trouble learning to use her wings when she had never flown before. I suppose it has something to do with the dynamics of pegasus wings being so much more complex, and the ones made of morning dew being powered by magic...

>>6752667526

That's my thinking exactly. Rarity's magic wings are that. Purely magic. Controlled by the mind, or even subconsciously with little effort (The only time Rarity seemed tired was after climbing to the sun.. and that's probably more to do with altitude).

Real wings are entirely different beasts, much more complex as you said :)

As for everyone else... you'll see ;)

I know who can help out..... Given her ablity to fly in a limited way.

I mean if Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy can help her out, surely little Scootaloo can assist as well, right ?

Nice update as it was fun and interesting seeing and as teachers to .

Please do keep putting up the ogod work upon such a great tale like this one.

Remember, Twilight isn't supposed to be using magic.

I find the wait for new chapters unbarrible.

Urgh I hate waiting... But it will be worth the wait I know it

Oh Faust, I'm getting flashbacks to that acursed Flutterpony Rainbow Dash doll.

Congratulations! If you go through with it, (one presumes that Rarity would be the one casting the spell,) then you will have given a reason for that vile thing to even EXIST!

...but at least it would be for a good cause, right?

do any of you remember certain   flying tortoise?

maybe rainbow is loaning the copter hat ^^

Can't. Fucking. Wait. For. More.

GIMME MOAAAAAAAARRRRR

Wait, a lil' question. It DOES have Appledash, right? AW YEEEEAH. My body is ready.

Excellent

this shit is great

Can ah have some?...

MOOORRRRRREEEEE!!!!!!!

D: awww poor RD......

moar please, a lot moar....

Good stuff so far! Eager to see what happens next, especially if tensions will flare up between AJ and Rainbow.

MOAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRR

PLEASEEEEE

GIMME SOME APPLEDASH ACTION

Superb chapter! MOAR!!!

Damn you Celestia! Not only is she trolling , she's probably using the situation for writing material in one of her dirty clopfics!

>>7728177281

I see nothing wrong with that!

Sounds like Rainbow needs a hang glider.

Oh Pinkie! You so randomly brilliant! xD

Lovely update! Can't wait for more =D

Twilight Sparkle is now Dr. House.

Its never Lupus!

Damn it, its Lupus.

Applejack with a wingboner.

Applejack with a wingboner.

Well hey, I didn't realize that this was posted here too! Top notch.

You did a great job on this! The characters sound and act just like they should, and the writing is superb. Keep it up, I can't wait for the next chapter!

I just read through all six chapters, and I have to say, the characters are spot on, episode reference is significantly used, and that all in all, it's a very well written fanfic.  

>>8467684676>>8661186611

Thank you both! The characterization is what I've strived to be most important in this fic, and it makes me happy to hear people think it fits!

This has been very entertaining ^^ And I will be back to read the next chapter!

Now GO!

Only 2 days since I read it??? Come on.... has the earth stopped moving? It feels like a week since I visited this TIME! Y U NO LIKE ME??

Btw: ...Chapter 7 soon to be here? :3

>>9470894708

Not just yet I'm afraid. I've started working on it, but I don't really like writing it while there's people hovering around, and being with family for holidays.. tends to slow things down :P

But I do have the chapter planned out, I just need to write it out~

Amazing, just amazing! Your style of writing is unique And awesome, and the plot is original. Can't wait to see how this turns out! Appledash for the win!

[url=http://www.fimfiction.net/story/1700/6#comment_id_94725]>> Tchernobog

Ah I feel your "paranoidic" pain ;_; But phew just that you had it figured out calmed me down ^^ Goodie!

More? Pretty please!

I beg you. I fucking beg you.

It's such a torture to not read this. I'm so so so so so curious and excited to see some Appledash action. Also, just love this fanfic. It's fabulous.

I hate being annoying, but when do you think you'll post the next chapter? I need moar of this.  

>>102160102160

Well, as mentioned above I've been visiting family/staying with them for a while. But I'm starting a new job on the 3rd, so on one hand I'll have less time, on the other, I won't have people watching over my shoulder, so more time to write. I'm hoping to get next chapter out within the week :)

Oh lawd. Things are gettin' serious.