Epic sat there, now because of blackmailing Rainbow Dash, he was put in Applejacks care, Applejack being the only pony not to lie or keep secrets from her friends, so he couldn’t blackmail her anyway (well he wasn’t exactly her friend, but he knew He couldn’t get anything out of her). It was a complete borefest.
He watched the clouds fly by, while Applejack kept a close eye on him, making sure his bag of weapons was on the other side of the room. He spoke up.
“You can’t keep them away from me that long, besides you forgot to take Sheila and Sarah.”, he said, pulling out 2 S&W 357. caliber revolvers, his pride and joy came from said guns.
“Give em ‘ere”, sighed Applejack after seeing the weapons being twirled in Epic’s hands.
“No way bitch, dual wielding pistols is my thing, well I stole it from Devil May Cry, but it is still my thing.” Epic replied, laughing at her feeble command.
“Listen, I’ll let y’all in on a secret, if you just gimme the weapons.” Applejack surrendered, now seeing there is no possible way he would go down losing.
“Knowledge for knowledge, kiddo.” Epic improvised, being the hotshot blackmailer he is, he would not let the info get away, but in no way was he giving her Sheila and Sarah.
“No, gimme the guns and I’ll tell you the stuff. Deal or no deal.” Applejack raised an eyebrow, what kind of knowledge could he have that she wanted.
“Listen bitch, I don’t trust you with Sheila and Sarah, they’re my babies, my life, they are the reason I’m still alive now.”, he said.
“Touching.” Applejack replied before giving a “You’re kidding” look.
“It is, isn’t it?” Epic said, “Take my deal or don’t. I don’t really need the information.”
“Your ‘deal’ sounds like a load of crap.” Applejack replied, before continuing “I mean what could y’all possibly have to offer me that I don’t already know.”
“I could tell you what made me, me.” Epic said. Applejacks eyes grew wide at this, she needed to know what corrupted what could be such a high potential human being, mainly so she could teach it a lesson.
“ Its a land called the internet, I’ll tell you all about it if you give me the information.” Epic smirked remembering his first time being Rick rolled.
“Oh fine, you win, listen here, I think it’s me Rainbow Dash has a lustin’ for, she’s always staring my way, practically eyeballing me. It’s creepy as hell.”
Epic smirked, being a man of his word, he told her about the internet, he told her all about shock videos and Rule 34, to Nyan Cat and Caramelldansen.
Applejack continuously barfed in the bucket.
“I don’t get it, what kind of woman would do that in a cup.” she said before continuing to barf, Epic started to pat her on the back.
“Yep, the internet is a scary place. A scary scary place.” Epic gagged remembering having to sit through the video of that poor poor cup.
“Hey, Applejack, me and Fluttershy got here as soon as we heard the news.” Raven announced proudly,, now in her human form, but still just as much of a mary sue as ever. “What the hell did you tell her about, Epic!?”
“The internet.” Epic replied.
“He said it was a horrifying place, but I thought I could take it, but then he got to the parts about the partying with lemons. and then to the part about that picture called goatsomething and then.” Applejack went right back to barfing. Epic started laughing, before seeing Rainbow Dash fly by and getting the biggest smirk he had ever gotten.
“Hey Rainbow Dash! How are the cowgirl fantasies going!” He yelled out, making Rainbow turn bright red and for the 3rd time in history, a Sonic rainboom was performed.
Epic laughed his butt off as Raven, Fluttershy, and Applejack, all looked angrily at him.