We need more Saddle Arabians.
Blue Moon has things quite a few things in her time living in Canterlot, but even she hasn't seen the strange proprietor who has recently opened up shop in the lower levels of the city.
When she goes into the shop, what she finds in the last thing she expected: Love.
A simple story inspiried by "Closer then you think" and written on a whim in my free time. As of now, its a one-shot but may be expanded depending on reactions.
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Ohh do I get first comment? O: I am gonna fave this just from wanting to see where it goes
Tis a simple but nice plotline thus far
Interesting.... A good start.
I'll keep an eye o this one.
Honestly feels somewhat unfinished. Probably due to the brevity of it.
This could definitely use more chapters, and not just because I want to see more of this story. As the guy above me commented, it feels more than a little unfinished as it is. Since the two don't have any history together, and Blue Moon's request to meet Dell later was such a spur of the moment thing, it feels like what you have here is all building up to something that never actually happens. That's not to say that this needs to be super long if you don't want it to be, but it should probably go at least to the end of their first "date" so that we have a chance to really see both of their personalities and whether or not there's the possibility of an actual relationship coming from this (even if you decide to leave it open ended and never specifically state what they decide). Either that, or give us more background on Blue Moon so that her request for the date feels like a sought-after achievement instead of simply a random choice.
As for what you have here, I like it. It was pretty well written, and I liked the opening setup a lot, but the part where she came back to ask Dell for a date felt a little bit forced, since we have get information from Blue Moon to know why she would want to ask a strange creature she had never met before out on a date instead of asking a stallion. The only other nitpick I had with it was that there were a few editing errors that could be cleaned up, the most common being a tendency to slip into present tense every so often.
Anyway, small gripes aside, this was pretty darn good, and I think it would only be made better by either being made into a longer one-shot or a full story.
Aziraphael pretty much covered my thoughts. For such a short and undeveloped oneshot though it's pleasantly sweet.
Nice... The name Blue Moon is amusing to me... Because myself and a few friends founded a group on ARMA 3: Altis life, and we are Blue Moon P.M.C..... then we also found out there is apparently a Blue Moon beer company.... Life is fun.