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TheOnly

Joined March 2012
807 followers

Stories (35)

Blog Posts (39)

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When chaos overtakes the land and famine strikes the once peaceful land of Equestria, the only source of food left is found on an unexplored island.  The island holds many mysteries, being the rumored birthplace of Discord.  Six ponies find their way through the island, but they are not alone.  Separated in this new territory, friendship will be put to the test as the quest for survival consumes loyalty.  Relying only on skills and wits, the journey for new life begins in an age of darkness, but there is something standing in the way.  In the race for survival, only the fittest will survive, but this time there won't be any friend there to cover up flaws.  Sinister hands lie at the center of it all.

Featured on EQD: http://www.equestriadaily.com/2012/03/story-separation.html

First Published
23rd Mar 2012
Last Modified
31st Mar 2012

Comments ( 33 )

#1 · Chapter 2 · 122w, 6d ago · · ·

Waiting for the next chapter :twilightsmile: But the first half seemed a bit rushed... but your writing's not bad, I like it :twilightsheepish: Only things you'll have to pay more attention to are the pace and details.

#2 · Chapter 2 · 122w, 6d ago · · ·

Hello everypony! Stalin and Co. are here, bringing yet another installation of Stalinview!

Today we are looking at Separation by the new autor, TheOnly (also, ustor, set an avatar. I hate to see bald ponies)

Are you ready guys?

Ready!

*hic* Ready!

Let's dig into Separation: chapter one: Small beginning!

--------------------------------------------------------

Wole first paragraph is amazing! Misha loves poetry!

Yep. And descriptions are good.

This whole entry creating a real atmosphere of stormy night. Epic job!

Lllllooooovoeeeee it! *hic*

Not only that, a huge conflict!

Descriptions are just amazing!

Althogh seems like everypony are morons. Why pegasi won't move clouds? They know that food can't grow under this storm.

"“Even in times of chaos and hunger”, she explained, “Fashion is still important.”  

Ahh, good ol' Rarity.

"Bedlam island"

Word "Bedlam" has a meaning on russian. Бедлам means something close to chaos.

"“Well, you and Fluttershy can fly over the water.  Twilight, Rarity, Pinkie, and myself can use the hot air balloon.”

Bad idea, AJ. Lightning dont like flying objects. Expecially baloons.

"“Wait, Discord might have been born there?"

Yep. Bedlam = chaos in russian, Discord born on Bedla. Coinsidence?

"More thunder.  The weather hadn’t let up, and the ponies were struggling to set up the balloon that was going to bring them to Bedlam Island."

No offence autor, but you should study physics more carefully. If storm that you've described is THAT big, baloon is one of MOST DANGEROUS venchiles to travel.

Also, where did AJ get this info on island? Who can tell her that? And why her informator isnt with them? If he know that, he WAS on that island. WHY does he wanted to go back in place with no food, instead of living on the island WITH food?

OVERVIEW:

Your writing style is amazing! Descriptions are rich and poetic. Stalin likes that!

Conflict is shown a little bit bluntly and clumsy, but kinda understandable and atmospheric

Although, you really should study physics better

Also, all characters keeps their personalities, good job on that!

VERDICT: WORTH TO READING

#3 · Chapter 2 · 122w, 6d ago · · ·

I don't have as much to say as Stalin but i do have to say GOOD JOB :twilightsmile: it just seems a bit rushed in places but apart from that I am tracking

#4 · Chapter 2 · 122w, 6d ago · · ·

>>356678 I read it over and my only regret was the pace.  Don't worry the second chapter is going to fix that

#5 · Chapter 2 · 122w, 6d ago · · ·

>>356710 your questions...they shall be answered.  Patience my friend all will be revealed.

And duh, magical ponies and physics?  Please....

#6 · Chapter 2 · 122w, 6d ago · · ·

>>357475

Dude, you really shouldnt disrespect physics in pony universe. Expecially when they are properly used in the show. For example: a rope breaking from friction in Call of the cutie.

And also you have wrong approach here. And duh, magical ponies and physics?  Please....

EVEN IF it's magic, it doesnt mean that physics are not here. Imagine if in Lord of the Rings frodo was able jump 13 metres high and breaking stone with fingers. Ignoring physics is NEVER a right way, no matter how much fantasy-ish setting is.

Since you going this far, why won't you break physics more? How about apples, that are flying into the sky if you drop them? Or how about ponies, phasing into the solid objects? Duh, magical ponies!

I am sorry for outrage, but this your line makes me disrespect you. Maybe i am too much physics geek (which i dont), but you're simply ignoring common sense!

#7 · Chapter 2 · 122w, 6d ago · · ·

>>357515 i was just joking lol.  I'll brush up on my physics next time :twilightblush:

#8 · Chapter 2 · 122w, 6d ago · · ·

hmm, the geography reminds me of File island of digimon (First season) good story (could use some spacing though.

#9 · Chapter 2 · 122w, 5d ago · · ·

>>359669 i've never seen digimon, so i can't say thats what the island's based off of, and as for spacing I'm working on it.  Of course sometimes the paragraphs are just long because you read them faster, making whatever happened in that paragraph seem to have happened faster.

#10 · Chapter 2 · 122w, 2d ago · · ·

>>360306

You forgot the 'n' on the very first word

#11 · Chapter 2 · 122w, 2d ago · · ·

Well your story is on EqD

Also I like the way the mane 6 are close to the show

*Tracks*

#12 · Chapter 2 · 122w, 2d ago · · ·

>>374091 :facehoof:

That's what i get for self-editing....

#13 · Chapter 3 · 122w, 2d ago · · ·

It may seem a little slow, but that's only because some part of this story had to include world building (confound making new islands I must describe)

If you find any errors feel free to comment about them.

Any criticism/compliments are appreciated and welcomed.  

#14 · Chapter 3 · 122w, 2d ago · · ·
#15 · Chapter 3 · 122w, 2d ago · · ·

y is there no emoticon of discord?

seems like a fun story to me, so im tracking!

keep up the good work!:twilightsmile:

#16 · Chapter 3 · 122w, 2d ago · · ·

>>375875 Discord is up there!

He's going to become one of my favorite characters to write about in the upcoming chapters.  Chaos is so fun to imagine!

#17 · Chapter 3 · 122w, 2d ago · · ·

Wow.  You really know how to paint a picture with words.

You should work on the characters, though.  I'm surprised at how well Pinkie is coping with a world without cakes, parties, and friendship.  And why is Fluttershy being so submissive?  You've set her up like RD's servant.

And Oh My Goddesses Discord.  Wonder how he got out of Canterlot?

#18 · Chapter 3 · 122w, 2d ago · · ·

>>376381 Pinkie is happy no matter where you put her :pinkiehappy:

Don't worry character development will come with time.

As for Discord, all in good time.  All in good time.......

#19 · Chapter 1 · 122w, 2d ago · · ·

i like it already ;):rainbowlaugh:

#20 · Chapter 3 · 122w, 2d ago · · ·

>>376702not sure if serious :trixieshiftright:

#21 · Chapter 3 · 122w, 2d ago · · ·

>>TheOnly  well I posted it on the title page so no...:twilightblush:

but i did like the story.  moar plz

#22 · Chapter 1 · 122w, 2d ago · · ·

It's so... moving!  The character development, the plot, the action, the adventure, the romance!  It's everything anyone would want in a story and you pulled it off so effectively!  And with but one word!

#23 · Chapter 3 · 122w, 1d ago · · ·

*SPOILER AERT*

Yus! I have been wanting a good discord fic for a while now. :moustache:

#24 · Chapter 3 · 122w, 1d ago · · ·

>>378091 spoiler alert

i loved discord so much, had to make a fic with him.

#25 · Chapter 3 · 122w, 1d ago · · ·

And then....a polar bear shows up!!! Sorry :pinkiehappy: Love the story. Reminds of Strong World for some reason...:duck: Anyways, cool story can´t wait for next chapter!!!

#26 · Chapter 1 · 121w, 6d ago · · ·

Let's flip the page, shall we?

#27 · Chapter 4 · 121w, 5d ago · · ·

Took me a while to get to it, but it's finally here.

Another chapter.  It MAY seem rushed/ underdeveloped, and that may be because it is.  I got caught up in the whole R.A.I.N.B.O.W Dash story :scootangel:

Anywho, it's the new chapter.  The next chapter will be much better, I promise :pinkiehappy:

If you find any mistakes feel free to tell me

#28 · Chapter 4 · 121w, 5d ago · · ·

Interesting, very interesting.

#29 · Chapter 4 · 121w, 5d ago · · ·

I did enjoy your R.A.I.N.B.O.W dash story a lot!

anyway, this story is very nice as well and i'm eager to find out what is going to happen :pinkiehappy:

Keep up the good work!:heart:

#30 · Chapter 4 · 120w, 22m ago · · ·

you could've used the excuse that the chaos in equestria had once again awoken discord from his stone prison, then he went back home, but this works too.:pinkiehappy:

oh and good story so far.:twilightsmile:

#31 · Chapter 4 · 108w, 3d ago · · ·

You must finish the story! :flutterrage:

This is leaving me in so much suspense, and I can't take it anymore. :raritydespair:

This is amazing and I don't really find many Discord fics these days, so I am happy to see he's in here with his riddles and all. I am very much looking forward to the next chapter, but I am sad that Dash hurt her wing. :fluttershysad:

Keep up the good work!

P.S. You better not kill off Twilight and Pinkie (since they are the only ones in danger right now) or you will have to bake cupcakes with me! :pinkiecrazy:

#32 · Chapter 4 · 91w, 1d ago · · ·

I'm guessing this fic will never be finished then....

#33 · Chapter 3 · 68w, 2d ago · · ·

this reminds Honeytiger of hunger games.:pinkiehappy:

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