Trixie's Forest Retreat

by crowscrowcrow

Chapter 10 - Rambling

Counting out fifty bits from her pouch, Trixie floated the coins over at Fluttershy's request. Of course, the crafty pony had expected an outrageous sum for the time the successful showmare had lodged with her, but Trixie was hardly in any position to argue; a single shout would alert half of Ponyville.

As she placed each bit down on the table, the noise of the coins landing became louder each time, rising from a simple metallic clank to dull thuds, then finally to near-deafening stomps. When the sound stopped, the walls of the small farm shook and bent under the protests of the groaning wood.

Gasping, Trixie dashed out the door into the fresh air, leaving the yellow pegasus to her spoils, and spun around staring up at a gigantic blue bear. Its massive clawed paws rested upon the straw roof of Fluttershy's house, digging its claws into the wooden beams. Their eyes locked, and for a moment, they shared a stare of recognition, one in terror, the other in hunger.

The sight of the Ursa had the blue unicorn shaking on her hoofs; it had tracked her down and come back for more. Before she could even will her legs to obey, the house creaked and gave way under the Ursa's full weight, collapsing in seconds. The Ursa stomped over the flattened building on its way towards Trixie, snagging her with a large clawed paw.

Trixie let out a pained cry, feeling the sharp claws digging into her body. She stared at the massive transparent beast while it opened its maw to roar at her, giving her second look at the menacing teeth, easily the size of her head. She could feel its hot breath against her face, its last meal apparently a vegetable stand. Tears ran down her cheeks while it threw her into the air, allowing her one final look at the world before she fell into the waiting jaws.

Letting out a scream, Trixie thrusted her hooves forward in a desperate attempt to push the Ursa away, to live just one more moment, to find herself in a warm bed, staring down at a terrified wet Fluttershy, laying toppled over on floor next to her bed in a pool of something. A wooden bowl rolled away before it started to come to a spinning stop, finally resting upside down.

The fast breathes of both ponies were the only sounds in the air while Trixie stared down at Fluttershy in confusion, then quickly looked around. The Ursa was nowhere to be found, and she was back in the bedroom again. Her gaze returned to the trembling pony on the floor while a crushing guilt twisted her stomach.

“N-nightmare…” Trixie explained, laying back down just wishing she could disappear.

Fluttershy slowly got back onto her hooves. “T-that's okay… It’s my fault for trying to wake you up,” she whimpered.

Trixie winced, feeling even worse, but said nothing.

Once back on her hooves Fluttershy picked up the bowl. “I'll be back soon,” she said, heading out of the room, leaving Trixie alone again.

Time seemed to crawl by agonizingly slowly, leaving Trixie to look down at what she assumed was left of the vegetable soup Fluttershy had brought her. She pinned her ears back in shame. “It… it's not really Trixie’s fault, Fluttershy even said so,” she said, trying to reassure herself, but the words seemed so hollow. Trixie uttered a frustrated sigh. The rhythmic pounding in her head did not feel so bad compared to the pit in her stomach. Trixie soaked ponies before for her act, it’s no different right?

The door creaked, drawing Trixie's attention back to Fluttershy, who was carrying another bowl into room. She had a mop tucked below her left wing. Fluttershy was still a mess, small pieces of carrot, celery and onion sticking to her. Patches of her fur were wet and matted.

Fluttershy set the bowl down on the part of the blanket covering Trixie's lap, giving a nervous smile “It's a little cold, I'm sorry.” Then she changed her attention on cleaning up the floor quickly.

Trixie could not believe it. What kind of a doormat would get soup thrown at them only to bring another bowl before even taking care of themselves? And apologize for it while she's at it! It's so weak, so… Trixie's train of thought was derailed by the scent of the soup. The first warm meal she'd had in days was just too alluring not to lift up and bring to her lips immediately.

Fluttershy looked up from her task and caught sight of Trixie starting at her meal and flashed a warm smile, like she was watching a skittish squirrel accept a nut. Setting the bowl back down, Trixie's eyes met with Fluttershy's, prompting the pony to quickly return to work.

“…Why are you not mad at Trixie?”

“Huh? W-what do you mean?”

“Trixie more or less attacked you, wasted food and made a mess of you and your home. Doesn't it make you angry?”

Fluttershy shook her head. “Oh… no. I know you did not mean too. I mean, I don't think you did. Accidents happen. Just like the Ursa.” Trixie flinched. “Oh I'm sorry, I should not have brought it up…” Fluttershy looked down at the floor.

Trixie swallowed nervously. “Did… did you mean that? You don't blame Trixie for the Ursa attack?”

“I only heard the story from Rainbow Dash, but… you did not bring the Ursa. And nopony got hurt. Uhm except you…” Fluttershy looked miserable bringing up another bad memory for Trixie.

Trixie scowled at the reminder of her humiliation, giving a glare at Fluttershy and opening her mouth to retort but then paused, her expression softening. “It.. it's fine.” Trixie gave a small smile. “Trixie knows you did not mean too.”

Fluttershy returned the smile, a warm honest smile just as Trixie had seen when she'd first woken up and displayed she had made progress after a few questions. It made Trixie feel strangely warmer somehow, it was pleasant.

“How are you feeling?” Fluttershy asked.

Trixie blinked, lifting her gaze up from the smile to meet the examining eyes of the caring pegasus. “What? Oh. Trixie's head hurts, but she feels much better than before. It's not too bad if Trixie does not move much or casts spells… Or touches it.” In hindsight, it occurred to Trixie all of these things were completely obvious, as she had been told to rest. “Trixie has some questions, and you seem more talkative now.”

“Oh, uhm, what do you want to know?”

“What happened to Trixie?”

“You… Well… In the forest… Don't you remember?”

“Trixie remembers little, she was lost in the forest and saw a rainbow. The rest is a blur.”

“Trixie, I mean you, got into a fight with Rainbow Dash…”

This silenced the unicorn for a moment, trying to recall the fight. “…. You mentioned that name before. Trixie remembers she was interrupting Trixie's show with two other ponies. So how are you related to them?”

“They're my friends,” Fluttershy said with an obvious happiness in her voice. “Oh, but uhm… They should not have heckled you… I'm sorry.”

Trixie was taken aback with this news for a moment. She was resting in the house of a friend of the three ponies that had heckled her show, and one of them was apparently responsible for her concussion. Pushing away the empty bowl and covers she was resting under, Trixie’s expression hardened. “Trixie wants to leave, now.”

Author's Note:

Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed!^^

I set out to write something completely different then what ended up actually in the chapter this time.
Not that I'm claiming I normally have all the details worked out for a chapter in advance but it does usually at least try follow my plot.
But nope Trixie and Fluttershy just kinda did their own thing this time, fine I'll get them to cooperate next chapter.
I bet Rainbow Dash is getting a bit bored of getting so little screen time lately.

Comments

[HaoKyruss]

So is this the last chapter or is it continuing?

[crowscrowcrow]

4003806
Oh i see. Thats kinda briljant ^^
That was really helpful thanks a lot!
I will keep that in mind.

[Knight of the Raven]

Fluttershy's smiles melt Trixie's heart? It's not surprising. She managed to reform Discord. Trixie ain't got no chance.

It's spelled 'wince', not 'winch'. 'Winch' refers to a kick out of impatience or uneasiness from an animal, among other things.

Time for corrections;

'Trixie floating' should be 'Trixie, floated'

the comma after 'request' should be a semicolon,

you didn't capitalize 'Ponyville' in 'half of ponyville'

add a comma after 'each bit down on the table'

add a comma after 'When the sound stopped'

'bend under' should be 'bent under'

add a comma after 'into the fresh air panting'

'spun around staring up' should be 'spun around to stare up'

'it's paws' should be 'its paws'

add a 'and' between 'in terror' and 'the other'

'on her hoofs,' should be 'on her hooves;'

add a comma after 'to obey'

'under the Ursa's full weight. The bear then stomped' flows better than 'under the Ursa's full weight, stomping'

add a 'before' between 'towards her' and 'snagging'

add a comma after 'its maw to roar at her'

you forgot 'look' after 'giving her second'

'it's hot breath' should be 'its hot breath'

'it's last meal' should be 'its last meal'

'Tears running down' should be 'Tears ran down'

'Letting out a scream' should be 'She let out a scream'

add a 'and' after 'down at a terrified'

add a 'a' before 'wooden bowl rolling away'

'before it starting' should be 'before it started'

'Heavy breathing was the only sound Trixie could hear as she stared down' flows better than 'Heavy breathing the only sound while Trixie stared down'

'in confusion then' should be 'in confusion. She then'

the comma after 'then quickly looked around' should be a semicolon,

add a comma after 'while laying back down'

add a period after 'onto her feet'

'Trixie winched' should be 'Trixie winced'

'Heading out of the room' should be 'She headed out of the room'

add a comma after 'Time seemed to crawl by agonizingly,'

add a period after 'pinning her ears back in shame'

'Trixies fault' should be 'Trixie's fault'

'Fluttershy even said so,” she whispered, trying to reassure herself, but the words seemed so hollow.' flows better than 'Fluttershy even said so.” Trying to reassure herself but the words seemed so hollow.'

'its no different' should be 'it's no different'

add a comma after 'The door creaked'

add a period after 'giving a nervous smile'

'Then turned her attention' should be 'She then turned her attention'

add a period after 'Trixie could not believe it'

the period after 'taking care of themselves' should be an interrogation mark,

'offtrack' should be 'off track'

the comma after 'the scent of the soup' should be a semicolon,

'caught site' should be 'caught sight'

add a comma after 'Setting the bowl back down'

samewise after 'Trixie's eyes met with Fluttershy's'

samewise after 'I mean' in 'I mean I don't think you did.'

add a period after 'Trixie flinched'

samewise after 'Trixie swallowed nervously'

'And nobody got hurt' should be 'and nopony got hurt'

add a comma after 'Uhm' in 'Uhm except you...'

samewise after 'the reminder of her humilation'

'but then pauses' should be 'but then paused'

add a third period after '“It..' in “It.. It's fine.”'

add a comma or a 'and' between 'warm' and 'honest' in 'a warm honest smile'

add a comma after 'Trixie blinked'

add a period after 'blue eyes of the pegasus'

'“Oh uhm what do you want to know?”' should be '“Oh, uhm, what do you want to know?”'

'You... Well... In the forest...' should be 'You... well... in the forest...'

there's a triple space between 'concussion.' and 'Pushing'

and

incidentally, this 'Pushing' should be 'She pushed'