Are you ready, kids? Also a thingy so my pizza funds don't run out anytime soon.
It is said the River Styx seperates the land of the living from the fields of the dead. Every mortal eventually finds themselves crossing the black river of woe with its odd ferryman to meet their final resting place. The only question Twilight has is this.
Why was she here?
Big thanks to my editor, SirTruffles, for all his help and hard work!
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I swear that cover art is a Jawa.
Woah. Like, damn. I gotta go think some more about this, but it will suffice to say this story was excellent.
I am now reminded of the Thriller ending.
Damn bob.
*Puts lotion away*
Just damn. excellent story
That was deep. I like it.
ANOTHER!
N.O.E.S.C.A.P.E.
yo...yorick?
Anyway, on a more serious note, a very reasonable story. Got a thumbs up~
Gotta love the Greek conception of fate.
Though for a dark story, it isn't actually THAT dark. Not that any other tag really applies.
Bravo good sir, you really know how to cut to the core of me.
Listen to this while reading it. 1000X more episode and deep. It will end be for you finish so just keep repeating it.
An interesting idea. So, Rainbow my boy, when did you die?
So it h-happened to Tia and Luna and Twi and P-probably Cadence b-but what about
th04.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/i/2012/181/5/9/discord____worried__by_yanoda-d55fi9a.png
me?
Damn Bob, anything in particular inspire you to write this?
3942392
Deep? What was the point of it?
That fate rules everything? That's not something I believe in any case.
(I had a slightly better response, but my computer messed up on me, and now I've lost it. And I can't think of it again).
Anyways, not my kind of story. I don't really believe in these kinds of stories. (In a different way than the fact that I know these are all fiction anyway, of course. How to explain? Well, the best I can come up with off the top of my head is: Sometimes you can find life truths in stories, and all that.)
Anyways, time to make sure I read something else before I go to bed.
I don't know...
It feels like you are trying to have it both ways, having death be both a happy a mournful event. The sisters have already crossed, but still live? I get that their souls have passed, but their bodies remain.... huh?
I think you were going for the "there are things even the gods don't know" angle, but it didn't feel like that to me at all. I didn't feel the unknown and mystique that comes with the terrible unknown, forbidden knowledge, and the Lovecraftian secrets born before time was time. Twilight dies, and yet doesn't die. She lives, and yet doesn't live. This story feels like it's stuck in limbo, unsure of what message it's trying to impart.
My interpretation is that Charon did escort Twilight to her afterlife, but she's immortal so her "afterlife" is to go right back into her body. A sort of less messy form of reincarnation, the body can't die but the soul has to cross the River Styx before the body will accept it again. Though I guess with my take the question arises, do immortals cross the river Styx multiple times? At the end of each lifetime do Alicorns have to cross the Styx again?
Philosophical zombies is the name of the theory here, namely what happens if you die but then get up anyway.
That is actually a pretty interesting discussion if you have time to look it up. Wikilink
Nice story.
Damn, Bob. Well done.
I found your rhetoric and descriptivness interesting and engaging, but unfortunately, the awkwardness of twilight's personal dialogue kept shattering my suspension of disbelief.
3942311
What has been seen...
3943346 Then my job here is done.
Discord appeared out of no where and said:
"And where do you think you are taking my entertainment?"
What's that? I don't have a soul anymore? YAY!
derpicdn.net/img/view/2013/11/27/483578__safe_solo_twilight+sparkle_animated_princess+twilight_smile_book_hub+logo_happy_faic.gif
Perhaps this is what allows immortals to endure eternity without suffering madness or paralyzing ennui.
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/680/848/4c2.jpg
3942856
Oh, I like that interpretation. Far less depressing.
Still a bit dark, especially if Twilight one day comes to the opposite conclusion, but still an improvement over my original far more bleak and direct reading of the tale.
3944286
It's what makes the most sense to me. Alicorns are immortal but still must remain in the cycle of life. So once they live a lifetime's worth of years they "die" in their sleep, and thier souls go to the underworld. But being immortal they cross from the land of the living right back into the land of the living, skipping the messy having to be born again part and reinhabiting their own bodies.
Bob, why must you make me feel so creativistically inferior to you?
3944333 I like that theory. It's less horrific.
3944333
But the ferryman said Pinkie, Rarity and Rainbow Dash were already dead too.
3945702
Well Twilight never said that all her friends where still alive did she?
Woah....That was deep.
And kinda trippy.
I liked it.
Deep as shit. Deeper than Rapture. Deeper than the underworld....... no wait, that's how deep it was. LOL. But serriously, that was deep as fuck.
Damn
....that was some seriously deep stuff right there.
Deep. Really deep. Poses some interesting questions. Hmm...
This is just... damn. Deep and dark... a good mix if you asked me. It's also a good break from all that clop that I've been reading.
Looking forward to more of these.
3942856 Or maybe the twilight we saw at the end was her body without the soul dreaming dreaming of "its" last moments with its soul. Note the ferry man did say a soul was not nessesary for the brain to functon and the authour did refer to twilight as "it" instead of "her" at the end.
en.memgenerator.pl/mem-image/fascinating-en-000000-1
Fluttershy the Immortal.
That was strange....
You killed off Twilight?!
You soulless creature, you....
...Woah that...that's all I can say!
That was ...deep, i guess, but to me it didnt work. It was so deep the floor fell out you could say.
I get that its probably not supposed to be clear in any way, but like that it could mean anything or nothing.
The whole thing with alicorns turns into a red herring because its apparently the same for any mortal. So randomly someone soul goes away, but noone notices? It dosent even matter?
At that point it would just seem whatever this being considers a soul... its more like at some point in someponies life this realm will randomly spawn a duplicate of them and send them somewhere, but nothing about it matters for the normal world? So why should we care beyond this weird realm existing?
I also wonder about the option of not getting on the boat. Why did twilight suddenly trust this very dubious being, and what happens if she refuses?
TLDR:If this is mystery its got too much of a good thing, too many themes cut past but none really explored or resolved. This was kinda the opposite of a good idea badly written. Its wonderfully written, but the thing itself is meh.
Very interesting; this reminds me very much of the P-Zombie hypothesis. While I think the p-zombie argument is total junk (sorry to all you dualists out there!) it does make an interesting topic for a fic.
Well shit, what if that actually happens when someone dies, except instead of waking up in their bed they wake up with no memories of their past life in another body? If so, then fuck...
Whoa that was actually kinda creepy. Just the thought of the princesses being these souless husks makes me go
Well seems cool..read it later,,,get creeped out...I'm fine with this...
...no clue what to say or think here.
Uh...
No. Sorry, this didn't work for me in any way, shape or form. The weird thing is, I have no idea why, other than that I don't usually enjoy anything labeled "dark", but this avoided the pitfalls usually associated with the tag, so that can't be it. It wasn't badly written, it wasn't unnecessarily gory, and it wasn't overly angsty.
Perhaps it's the idea of an allotted lifespan, at the end of which Death arrives and takes you. That has never been a favourite of mine, if only because it tends to render everything that happens meaningless. I wouldn't want to know when and how I'll die, and even the thought that there's anyone or anything out there that does know makes me queasy. Or perhaps it's the irritating smugness and "what do I care" attitude Charon has here, which honestly keeps me from agreeing with anything he might say, which is kind of a dealbreaker for this story - Twilight ultimately does seem to accept what has happened, yet there is no earthly (or underworldly) reason why she should do so. If Death is actually a personification of any kind, I hope to the high heavens he's not this insufferable - and why would he be anyway? If everyone comes to you eventually, why would you gloat or take joy in that?
I'm out. I'm not downvoting this, because it really doesn't deserve it - the story is well written, it just resonates the wrong way for me (entropic - accepting, perhaps?).
There are some good concepts here: The idea of ponies having to cross Styx is an intriguing one, as is having them chat with Charon. Your idea of Alicorns still dying like everyone else while their bodies continue on as normal is something I've never seen before. However, while the ideas are intriguing and the setting evocative, I think the story could benefit from revisions to make the ending more meaningful. I like the idea of Twilight finding peace, but with no buildup to it, the ending didn't have any real emotional impact.
I would suggest perhaps adding the idea that Twilight has been alive for a very, very long time and has grown tired of immortality. Longing for it to end, and to find the peace she's wanted for thousands of years, she tries every spell she can think of to separate herself from her body, and finally succeeds in making it to Styx, only to face the final delima: While she does want her life to end, she's terrified of what may lie beyond Styx (she may go to heaven, hell, or there may be nothingness), and has to make the choice whether to go on or return to life, where at least she'll be safe, but still longing for death. You can up the stakes even higher by making this her one and only chance to die, and that she only has a few minutes to make up her mind.
A tired, weary Twilight seeking to find an end to an endless existence would make for a stronger storyline, and help make the payoff at the end much stronger! You've got a great start here, and all the elements are in place; they just need to be expanded upon a little bit more!