What's this? Another Human in Equestria story? Yeah I know this thing has been done many times before me, but hey I figured I'd give it a shot anyway. The idea has been stuck in my head for quite some time and I finally decided to run with it and see where I could go with it.
Its just a simple cutesy story, or at least that's what I'm hoping it'll be. This is the first thing I've really wrote in 5 or so years and back then I was pretty terrible. Maybe I'm still terrible, who knows! Be sure to let me know what you think though, just try to be nice. <3
His name is Daniel, he's a 20 year old Human who is pretty typical, he worked at a library, mainly an organiser and book shelver and just went from work to home on a daily basis and as such is rather lacking in social skills and understanding. Not to mention a lack of courage. He'll have to deal with the overwhelming situation of meeting many new faces all at once and the various looks and comments such a strange creature like him will get. But with friends like these, how can you say no?
Story itself takes place after season 2, also meaning the main character has knowledge of the show and the characters. Its also before the Crystal Empire and Twilicorn. Will also contain light shipping, as in cutesy sharing moments. Don't expect anything graphic.
I also want to mention that although the method on how he got there and why he is there is going to be questioned and looked into, its not going to be the main focus of this story, I want to make this story about a series of slice of life cutesyness and character interaction. The intro stuff of course has its talk on it as it should but I just wanted to get it out there that its not going to be an overarching thing. But we'll see how it goes I guess.
Hmmm... bland descriptions, one-dimensional characters, and an overall lack of effort. Overall, it's another run-of-the-mill HiE fic.
3999961 Well you certainly are blunt. But yes, my writing needs work and I'll openly admit that. Going to take some time to get the hang of this. But I can assure you I did put effort into this. Sorry to hear it wasn't to your taste. I intend to flesh out the character as the story progresses and the interactions start becoming more of the focus.
Of to good start mate and first
4000011 First? Really ;P Oy, haha. Thanks for your comment though. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Not bad, enjoyed this quite a bit.
three words... wall of text. Even if your story is good, telling it in that way usually destroys any interest in a story.
4000347 Thank you, I'm glad to hear you enjoyed it.
4001244 I didn't think that it was too wall of text heavy, very paragraph heavy I admit but I spaced them out as I felt appropriate. If you have any suggestions though I'd be more than willing to listen.
4001381 well to start you could separate what the characters say. when they are pressed tightly into the same paragraph it becomes a bit irritating. A good example would be when you typed:
"Thank you Shining Armor. You may leave this to me now." "Princess, are you sure that is a wise decision?"
maybe you could pull these into sections and present things in a sort of He said She said kind of format. Also it doesn't hurt to make use of the tab key when you make a new paragraph. Doing so tends to make it look a bit less wall of texty.
4001712 I see, you make a valid point and I thank you for your advice. I'll need to give my current stuff a rework with your suggestions. Thanks for your advice.
That was pretty good. Keep up the good work man.
4001728 no problem. a lot of writers forget things like that.
Shining Armour has a 'surfer dudes' voice.
4001774 Thank you, I'm glad that you enjoyed it. It means a lot.
4001787 No kidding? That's a little reassuring. This is rather new to me I must admit and the whole experience has been making me rather anxious.
4001810 What can I say? Its just how I felt he sounded, it was something me and my friend talked about and found rather amusing when we first saw him.
You sir should keep on writing. This story is good. There are a few grammatical errors, but other than that, pretty durn good
4001853 That's very kind of you to say and I appreciate that you think that. As for the grammar errors, yeah I still need to work on some of that, but hopefully it wasn't too bad for you. I find them easy to miss with the smaller text in writing format, if you point any out I'll be sure to get them.
Meh. I make 'em all da time. Not a single story that I have written-not that I really posted any either lol- has not one not two, but multiple grammatical errors through out it. So no need to worry too much about them (unless your ocd bout that kind of stuff lol). But I hope there' another update soon.
#mytabletissolaggy
4001909 My biggest concern with them is just having too many to the point that they're distracting. But I thank you for your kind words none the less, as for when I'll update next? Hopefully soon. We'll have to see.
4001810 Well he kinda does when you think about it Bladestar. I'm intreagued that's a very oringinal arrival in Equestira.
Self-insert. Pass.
4003533 I'm glad you think so, hope you enjoyed it.
4019810 Fair enough man, not to everyone's taste.
4022477 Well it really says something for what you've done here because most comedy stories really fall flat on this site they either try to hard or are honetly just not funny at all, and yes I appreciate the originality you did this with I think my arrival fell flat but I didn't want to reuse that old "suddenly finds himself in the Everfree forest and fights a Manticore" arrival in Equestria.
4050708 Why thank you, its very appreciated that you've said such things. I must admit I've heard of this Manticore trope numerous times, is that really that used of a trope? I just find that odd really.
To be honest I thought about poking a bit of fun with it later, not necessarily with a Manticore but some other kind of animal, as the main character is a coward to things that could potentially do untold things to. Naturally so though of course.
I didn't want to put too much emphasise on how he got to Equestria as I wanted to leave that up in mystery, although it is something that shall be questioned it won't be the main focus, I intend to make the main focus of this to be some cutesy slice of life interactions between Daniel and various Ponies with some attempts at humour added in for good measure.
As for your own arrival, well at least you tried to be different with it and not rely on something so overused and unrealistic. It doesn't have to be something overly grand and epic, sometimes something simple can work as well.
4050984 Yeah I thank you for saying such things and yes I've seen the Manticore trope a number of times now, it's slightly spooky though my human's arrival is also an unexplained mystery so it's interesting to me that we bolth thought along the same lines, but I honestly like yours better than mine, of course I'm overly critical of myself sometimes, if you would take a look at my story Adaptation for me and tell me what you think I would like to hear your perspective on it especailly the arrival that's my stiffest part I think, but I may be wrong.
4051015 Hehe, well leaving it in mystery can lead to various things depending on how you want to handle it.
But huh, I never would have guessed on the Manticore trope being so used like that. But I digress on that I guess.
I thank you for your kind words and I appreciate that someone likes it, frankly I can be rather critical of my own work as well so I know how that feels, its difficult to judge your own work really as various things get in the way. I shall check out your story though and be sure to let you know what I think, hopefully I can be of some help.
4051023 Thank you so much, and you're right about that, I can see if I can be of help to you too, actually I do have one suggestion at the moment and that is to try and make your succeding chapters longer so that you can get more out of your story it's really hard to do that when you're under two thousend word every chapter I have yet to see a good story stay that way, it actually works at the start though.
4051054 You raise a good point and its something I have been working on with Chapter 3, I'm going about trying to make the chapters longer which in 3's case hasn't been too hard with the amount of stuff I've been adding to it. I thank you for your advice.
Ok Darkie that was pretty good I'll admit, but there are simularities in personallity and even mannerisims in more than few regards, so I'll ask you this. Who's more awkard Bryan or Daniel?
4063730 I've only read up to Chapter 2 currently. Mostly due to being busy but I'm not entirely sure I could say. The way I had imagined Daniel in mind was to be rather awkward though, a rather shut in person and the situation just adding to it. But again I don't think I can give much of a thought on that yet.
But I'm glad to hear you liked the chapter at least.
4063750 As you move forward you're going to see that Bryan and Daniel share characteristics when Daniel said "not that I'm complaning or anything" it's the same kind of speech pattern that Bryan uses at times, so be ready for that. They bolth have phobias as well, although Bryan's is acrophobia (fear of heights) which will come up at some point, he is freaked out by spiders though. *shudders*
4063783 Well these traits do come from humans so some similarities will be present at times. Heights were always a strange thing for me, I've never been bothered by heights myself but the idea of falling can make me rather nervous.
But yes, Daniel is afraid of spiders and other big creatures that would harm him.
4063803 He is sooooo going to love Manticores then, oh and there is confermation that Chimira do exisist in Equestria so he should stay out the fire swamps. Hell if things go well enough on our individaul stories me mayby we could work together an some point, I know I'm not adverse to the idea.
4063859 Yes I'm well aware of the Chimera, was rather surprised when it started talking as well. But as for Manticores? Yeah his prior knowledge of the show means he already knows about the Everfree forest and he wouldn't dare enter such a place let alone even try to get involved with such creatures.
As for us working together on something? Possibly, it would be something I need to think about honestly. I mean no offence to you of course, its just a little strange being presented with such a possible plan like that from someone.
4063877 Yeah that would have rocked me back on my heels too, if we were to do it we'd have to make sure it didn't give away anything from our current stories, so something tottaly new would be best in that event. Honestly I have no idea how that works though, it would be learning experience to be sure.
4063915 Well its something I shall think about, for now I think its best we focus on our current projects, but I think it was nice of you to consider me for such a thing. Although its a little strange to me personally due to lacking some socialness myself.
4063931 Darkie you're not the only one. I too am not very social.
4063948 Then it would seem that's something we share then.
4063954 Eeeeyup, you and I are very similiar.
That. Was. Awesome!
But please tell me that daniel doesn't mention anything about the show to the princesses or anypony else. but if he does then ill keep on reading anyway. its not up to me about what happens in someone elses story... AAANNNNYYYYWWAAAYYYY. Awesome story. 
Keep up the great work.
4077031 I'm really glad to hear you enjoyed it. And I shall definitely keep it going, thank you again!
If I may ask however, why do you not want me to bring up the knowledge of the show to anypony?
4077133 WWeeeeeellllllllllll. think about the ponies coming into your world and telling you they know more about than you know about you. It just makes things complicated... and awkward... Now if he does mention the show ill be expecting a funny reaction. lol. I dont mind either way so you do whatever you want
just keep up the great work. Now here's spike with a mustache 
4077640 Haha, well he's already rather awkward and having to dance around the many subjects ;P I mean its one thing to see something like this on the TV but another to be infront of these said characters. He's mostly just trying to take things in stride and absorb as much as this as he can.
Either way I really appreciate your kind words and I'm really glad you're enjoying it so far. It means a lot.
4077650 huh. Never really looked at it that way
hm...
Ooh. I didn't even know this was here. I guess you can thank Blazewing's story of the same name for me finding it. (Not saltybedspackle's, as I haven't even read it and don't plan to.) On to the other two chapters you have!
Hmm. Well, considering that this hasn't been updated in four years and you haven't been logged in since April 2018, I don't know if this will ever be continued, but I'll bookmark it anyway. Some definite differences and similarities between this and Blazewing's, thus far; if you come back and continue it, I guess I'll see where it goes!