You asked for it. You earned it. I love you guys. -Double M
"OLD SPICE ODOR BLOCKER BODY WASH IS TOO POWERFUL TO LET THIS COMMERCIAL END!" The giant Terry Crew shouted at the Manehattanites he was towering over, who were now running away in fear.
"BLOCK! BLOCK! BLOCK!" Terry shouted over and over again as he swatted away in the incoming Royal Guard pegasi like flies, sending each of them flying into nearby building and the ground below. Terry looked to his side and kicked a skyscraper beside him in half as he screamed "Dummy kick!"
"Explosions!" Caramel could hear somepony shout, before an explosion in the distance shook the earth.
"Crazy Manehattanites..." Caramel muttered to himself, walking into a dark ally. Sitting at the end of the ally was a cloaked pony holding a briefcase.
"I hear you seek buckweed." The mysterious pony said. He stood up and walked into the light, revealing a familiar zebra.
"Zecora? What are you doing here?" Caramel inquired.
"Both me and my costumers have desires, and I need money, good sire." Zecora said. "You can dip into your desires if you have the bits."
"I'll give you 750 bits for a kilo of buckweed." Caramel said, pulling out a pouch containing said bits. Zecora nodded and held out the briefcase, which Caramel happily took before tossing Zecora the pouch.
"The deed is done, bag this scum." Zecora stated to seemingly no one in particular. Before Caramel could ask what she meant, several police carts rolled up, all containing members of the Royal Guards Quick Response Team.
"Oh buck!" Caramel shouted. As the Guards marched towards him, a giant black foot stomped down on them and almost crushed him.
"POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!" A loud, masculan voice boomed from overhead. Caramel took this opprotunity to escape, leaving a likely mentally scarred Zecora behind.
"Guard, what am I looking at?" Celestia asked, watching the TV.
"It's a hit TV series called My Little Human." The Rookie pointed out.
"Ah yes. I have heard great reviews of this show. Is this what you wished to show me?" The Princess inquired.
"No ma'am, it's the wrong channel." The Rookie said, before picking up the nearby remote and flipping through the channel, tossing it aside casually as he flipped to the news channel.
On the TV was pictures of destruction, chaos, and death. The world famous Equestrian State Building had collapsed, many buildings and homes were damaged, flaming, or simply flattened, and the bodies of ponies were strewn around in the street. Lined up in the streets that weren't flooded with debris were dozens of military vehicles from nearby Fort Tolerance, all waiting for whatever caused this shitstorm to return.
"What caused this, Guard?" Celestia inquired, trying her best to keep her shock from showing.
"Nopony knows for sure, ma'am, but intel suggests it was a giant, hairless, muscular, black ape." The Rookie stated.
"Great...." Celestia muttered, before getting up and starting to walk out of the room. "I'm going to Manehattan, alert whoever is in charge down there I'm on my way."
"Yes ma'am." The Rookie responded.
"Pinkie, Ah don't know what's goin' on, but could ya at least put down the knife?!" Applejack pleaded, backing away from the enraged and obviously mentally disturbed pink pony.
Pinkie glanced at the knife she was grasping, before shaking her head. "You were always the most racist one around, Applejack."
"What? Ah ain't racist. Keep yer stereotypes to yerself." Applejack stated, glaring at her.
"Wait... so you're not racist?" Pinkie inquired.
"Yes, Ah'm not racist." Applejack stated as clearly as she could. Pinkie glanced down at her knife before tossing it aside, putting on her best pokerface (which would be what is known as a very bad pokerface).
"Sorry to scare you Applejack. It's just that Twilight is kind of a..." Pinkie began, not sure how to describe it.
"Don't worry yourself over it, sugarcube. Why don't we go talk to Fluttershy about your problems. She's probably more qualified at this stuff than me." Applejack suggested. Pinkie Pie nodded, as Applejack led Pinkie out of the Sugar Cube Corner.
"Please sir, stand still! You're making this difficult!" Rarity exclaimed, juggling around several measuring tapes while also trying to keep the ape from moving with her magic.
"Lady, I must spread the word about Old Spice, the holiest of all body washes." Isaiah protested, trying to escape his magic binds.
"A holy man, hmm? Are you a prophet?" Rarity inquired, an idea for a design already in her head.
"Where I come from, I guess I could be considered one." Isaiah said, trying to shrug.
"Give me a minute." She stated, releasing the Old Spice Guy from his magic binds and galloping over to her design table, hastily writing down a stream of equations. Isaiah planned to book it the moment he was released, but his curiosity got the best of him. Rarity placed her pencil aside and pulled a long roll of silk fabric out of a nearby chest, as well as a long, flowing wig.
"This design is quite simple, darling. It will only take a minute or two, and you'll be on your way." Rarity stated. She took a glance at his third leg as casually as she could muster, to make sure he really wasn't a tripod. Of course, as she originally thought, it wasn't a leg. After a few minutes of cutting and stitching, she levitated the completed product over him and placed it on him, as well as placing the wig over his head. Isaiah looked into a nearby mirror and admired the design.
"What do you think?" She inquired.
Isaiah did a double take. He looked a lot like a Black Jesus. Actually, exactly like a Black Jesus. The robe was a little tight, which showed off his muscles and body. It also smelled like... somehow, it smelt like Old Spice.
"I was able to use a spell that would give that robe a permanent scent of man scented body wash." Rarity stated.
"My God... it's a miracle..." Isaiah muttered to himself.