• Member Since 22nd Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen Feb 20th, 2013

bubdude


T

A stallion who just got a job as a scientist soon realizes that something isn't right. Before he knows it, he is fighting for survival as he records the events of each day. This story is simply his diary and that should be kept in mind as the lack of unneeded details should be obvious. I originally started writing this as a normal story before deciding to adapt it to ponies. There will probably be some things that don't make sense but i'm trying to get used to writing for ponies as this is my first "fanfic"

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 12 )

First i was like, "oh"
Then i was like, "uh-huh"
And then... "woah"

Creepy, but rather exciting.

I hate to be negative, but...
-The use of a scientist's journal to start a zombie story is cliche. Cliches can be permitted if done well, but this doesn't feel like a scientist's journal. A scientist's journal would also have a lot of information on the actual science. Blood-flow stopped? A real scientist would never leave that in a single sentence. That's huge news to a biologist or doctor. Further, introducing the story like this really only works if the audience does not know that (SURPRISE) the subject is a zombie. It works in films because it can be done in a two-minute montage, but writing it out just makes me roll my eyes.

-The grammar needs work. It's really easy to capitalize 'I', yet you often don't. The same goes for many of the first words in your sentences.

-If the journal is supposed to start on day one, why is the treatment already under way?

tl;dr: Cliche, poor execution, poor portrayal of stock characters

am i the only one who thought of "itchy tasty" from resident evil when i first saw the title?

Parade Of The Dead - Black Label Society

What's with all the zombie stuff, this is the third time this week I've used this song.

WHY THIS HAS THREE DISLIKES:rainbowhuh::rainbowhuh::rainbowhuh::rainbowhuh::rainbowhuh::rainbowhuh:

to anyone that actually checked this at some point thinking "hmmmm, i wonder if he'll ever update this", i will. not in the way that you are thinking though. when i started this, i saw it as a failed project and left it to die. now that i look at it now though, i don't see a story that is horrible, i see a story that just needs to be improved. that is what i'm going to do. i want to revamp this story and make it something worth looking at. over the next few weeks, i will be making improvements and once i have determined that it is good enough, i'll start adding days 10 at a time like i did before. what i plan to do is, i will update the story every week with ten days until it has caught up to the original version that is still in progress. the original is just something small i do in my free time but i hope that i can take the time and effort to make this into a story instead of simply changing a few words.

355894
I truly appreciate your opinion and I fully agree which is why I dropped the project a while ago.
Now to answer a few of the questions that you brought up. I understand that it is cliche and it was very poorly executed. When i started the original version of the story, I was just bored lying in my bed. I am currently working on making the start less bumpy as I am going to try and pick up the pieces of this broken failure. As for the grammar, that is the result of not proof-reading anything which is yet another thing i am working on. On the topic of when the story starts, I wanted the main character to be a new scientist, as it says in the story, and "day 1" is the recordings of what happened on the first day of treatment. Obviously, that also failed miserably and it leads back to something that I am trying to fix.
I'm sorry that it took so long to get a response, but if you are still on here then i hope that you can help me by giving me the pointers that i would need to turn this wreck into a decent story.

384926

Bad grammar, horrible start, etc. I will admit that it was pretty bad and that's why i dropped it until now. I hope that I can fix it though and get it back up and going. I'll be doing some work on it over the next couple of weeks so if you are still interested, just check back soon. I have updated days 1-20 so far and started working on days 21-30. I should be finished with the fix soon and I highly suggest that you reread it as name changes and slight entry event changes may throw you off otherwise (plus it has been forever since i even checked on this).

355837

If you are still interested, I am updating the story and fixing as many issues as I can and I hope that I will be able to start adding to the story again within the next couple weeks. If you are still interested in the story then I would highly suggest rereading it all as name and minor event changes have occurred. (Also it has been a long time since this was last messed with so I doubt you would remember it.)

However, I was able to read that his name was Noah.

Noah. Noah's Ark. Totheark. Or Ark of the Covenant. Either way,
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Comment posted by Nemesis Prime deleted Mar 28th, 2022
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