JORGE! My favorite character from Reach! I'm going to drop what I'm doing and read it now.

interesting idea, reading now

Aww hells yeah, shining the spotlight on Jorge for once

I love the description. Two paragraphs in and I think I'm in for the long haul.

Haven't actually read the fic yet, but your description has a few things that happen to push my writer/editor buttons. Your spelling could use a little work (ageing should be aging) and you have that habit of writing run-on sentences and splicing together a bunch of thoughts with commas, when you should really be separating them into more manageable sentences, because as you may have noticed this is a little annoying to read and hard to keep your attention on.

Also, that last part of the summary should end with a question mark.

However, your first two chapters have a respectable word count, which is something I like. It shows you have a lot to say.  

Well. As an avid Halo fan I must say, this could almost stand up on its own as a oneshot at Fanfiction.net. But  it's not. This is not your grave. But you are welcome in it! Will enjoy seeing more of this.

Okay, now that I've read your prologue I'm definitely more into this.

The thing about him wanting to change his armor color to purple was a funny touch, considering where he's going, but frankly it seems pretty unrealistic for a SPARTAN-II. Then again, I suppose considering Jorge is a pretty big dude and not really stealth-oriented, it's sensible that his armor color wouldn't necessarily matter.

On the other hand, if I was a UNSC marine and I saw a big purple thing I would probably get a little confused.

That's just nitpicking though! You've got me interested.

Why did i not think of this THIS IS AMAZING

Alrighty, second chapter. I like how you didn't jump straight into first contact - that always bugs me with these stories. Pacing is important, and you're introducing the separate elements of the story before throwing them together to watch the fireworks. Tracking and looking forward to more.

I think you really struck a nail on the head here. The psyche of a Spartan is rarely explored as well as you do it here, but I can't help but notice something missing.

Specifically, the fact that a Spartan-II is all about sacrifice. It really wouldn't require much in the way of change - but I think you should include that.

Other than that, I see no reason why I shouldn't favorite this and read it forever. Thank you for restoring some hope for the halo fans on this site.

To be completely honest, most crossover things ive read are absolutely terrible garbage. But this...this is pretty darn good! Liking and Faving.

Once this is(of if ever) I done, Emile should be next

I don't mind being a prereader.

Twitchi-twich TWITCHI-TWITCH   EVERYPONY RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

...So many things missing. I will not take the time to point out everything. But I will point out the main problems. I say this because going a detailed review on a smartphone sycks and that's all I have to work with.

1. It's not "Spartan's never die, they just go missing in action." It's"Spartan's never die, they're just missing in action."

2. Jorge armor is MJOLNIR Mark V. Use the link.

http://halo.wikia.com/wiki/MJOLNIR_Powered_Assault_Armor/Mark_V

3. Jorge is a SPARTAN II. The Spartan IIs are the best of the Spartans. In reality they barely remember their childhoods before they were conscripted at around the age of six. Your downplaying Jorge's personality. At least in my opinion.

Wow, that was actually damned good. This is probably one of the few if not only halo story on this site that actually appears to be written well.

I fucking LOVED the story of halo reach!!!!! I'm SO gonna read this...... later

well, there goes studying for finals

I would love to pre-read! I mean, uh, yeah that'd be cool.

I had the same idea!

I even planned to use the same cover image!

GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!

...

Ok, now to read the story.

I volenteer! I volenteer as tribute!

Er...pre-reader. Yeah.

And then there's the Pinkie Sense. I wonder just what impact Mr. Spartan-052 is going to leave on the ground...

I like Emile the best but Jorge is a close second

I haven't read this yet. But I must say this, Jorge was best spartan - that is until he blew the shit outta some mutha fuckin covenent! YEAH! THEY GOT DEM BUG SHIT ALL OVER THEM MUTHA FUCKEN SELF, BLEW THE SHIT OUTA DEM! KILL ALL DEM MUTHA FUCKAS!

ok, calm down Varocity

FUCK NO! IMMA BLOW THIS SHIT UP!

Seriously, though. Shut the fuck up.

FUCK ALL Y'ALL -

SHUT THE FUCK UP!

... ok

Ok, I'm liking where this is going.

I can edit your stuff. But be warned, I'll probably come off as a asshole in my edit notes.

You have my attention  . . . continue.

This is pretty good, i am enjoying this so far. Keep it up!

Jorge i new you could not kill him

What is it about Jorge?

Halo and Pony crossovers have the unfortunate... curse of having one lackluster (at best) fic after another. Even when the spelling, grammar, and idea can sound interesting, it just goes

Image: http://images.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw842_applejack%2Bis%2Bdisappoint.gif

In comes Jorge. Have him as main.

Image: http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ls550vjk891r3k1m8o1_500.png

JORGE!!! Y U SO AWESOME???

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Scootaloo.png

>>623888623888 Thanks for the advice, i acknowledge that Jorge 's armor is a MJOLNIR Mark V but i felt it irrelevant for the prologue which i am using just to set the stage for the story. As for the quote, wrote that based on my vague memory of the Halo novels and will change that ASAP. As for the childhood bit, that is supposed to take place after he is conscripted and during his training on Reach. I'm sorry if the prologue feels rushed but, like i said, this is my first fic and i was anxious to get to the main portion. Please don't stop sending me advice or tips on how to better my story.      

OMG! A well written, interesting Halo cross!

Image: http://chzgifs.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/funny-gifs-oh-god.gif

more please

I can tell right off the bat that he's going to hate Twilight at first.( I can just see him going "Purple! Purple pony! I hate purple!")

You're almost in featured, hope you make it there.

TRACKINNNNNNNNNG!!!!!!!!

God damn the support is overwhelming! When i first saw that i had 4 dislikes my reaction was along the lines of 'Oh gawd they're right. I'm a shitty writer and a miserable excuse for a human being. i should just kill myself.' But after reading the comments not only do i want to keep living but i will also continue the story, so yay to that.

And i apologize for those that don't agree with my interpretation of Jorge's character. I always disliked the poor characterization in the Halo games and felt that there was a lot of miss-potential. I chose Jorge because i felt he was the most 'human' of the Spartans and wanted to expand on that. That and the whole slipspace thing is a perfect way to send him to Equestria.    

So far so good... It looks pretty good

im.tracking this .shits awesome

I declare that a spin of should be done with Emile

He would kill them all

Good job, great Halo crossover!

MOAR

Dose he still have his gun?

MOAR MOAR MOAR

What I want to know is that how did you get this past the mods? I love this story but your first chapter has no ponies. My crossover fic actually got denied the first time because I had no ponies in my first chapter. Did you write these two chapters, then submit it or what?

The Elements vs one of the best trained killers of his time?

Image: http://thumbs.newschoolers.com/index.php?src=http://images.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/8813374.jpg&size=400x1000

>>633506633506Who the FUCK said they would be enemys?

>>638580638580 the guy has been fighting aliens for 25 years. Gonna bet he is not going have trust with a new species

>>640491640491..............He wouldnt just start slaughtering them you fucking blood loving idiot.Besides...who the hell would hurt the cute ponys?!

>>640506640506 he wouldn't slaughter I ment like knock them out or something like that, or he is gonna start running dark

heres jorges reaction of marshmellow mountain "fuck yeah"

A halo crossover with huge potential!

le gasp!

Keep up the awesome work! You have found an extremely awesome plot and character progression/development.... Think of the possibilites

This day just keeps getting better! Just as I think I'm about to get something done *BAM* this story updates! DROP EVERYTHING AND READ!

Awww Yeah!!!

Image: http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ln5ya0tXVh1qh0chto1_500.png

Come on dude, I was about to sleep and I see this. Anyway, thank you for finally updating this. I thought you were going to abandon it.

Just finished, and come on. I mean, it seems like every single person that writes crossovers make the heroes appear right in front of the ponies unconscious. It seriously ruins the badassery and mysteriousness of the character. Good story but I wish you didn't have him just keep on passing out.

This is the best thing to have happened to me after my house getting struck by lightning! Good thing my computer was fine and the power just came back on a little while ago. Anyways great work on the story so far!

KNEEL BEFORE ME!

Pr0 Tip

Don't directly reference 4th wall breaking.

Why can't it be a platonic relationship or shipping? Or even just intellectual because the Spartans were quite intelligent and well educated in history, math, and various other subjects.

YES, KNEEL BEFORE US, PEASANTS!  

>>662053662053

Brohoof, bro!  /)

(Oh, yeah, and to the readers, my fault on this being a little late, I got behind on stuff, so I'm the one you get to hate on when it comes to late releases!)

No Jorge would break them in half

MOAR and please no covenant

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Twilight_Sparkle.png

I'm really horny for Spartan X Pony lovin'. Maybe a separate thing, for those of us who want it, so those of us who don't are also satisfied.

My cousin lives in Uruguay :D

>>662272662272 no what why

Don't take his armor.  It's like a cliche.  Every fic I read where a soldier goes to Equestria they lose their guns or armor/both because it's a convenient way to prevent violence.

>>662119662119 You /)(\ Me

>>662053662053 >>662119662119 Yes, your highnesses! *kneels down, bows head*

About the story. Deam, I was half expecting Jorge to perform a meteor style Spartan party crash (You know like Chief did in 3, and Noble Six in Reach). Yet this is non the less awesome. Keep on going!

Well for those who want Jorge to ''ship", then lets look at canon. Jorge is a Spartan-II. Spartans had augmentations. One of the augmentations that Spartan-II's had was a thyroid implant that increased bone and muscle strength, but it also suppressed sex drive, which, in turn, made spartan-II's not get those type's of emotions. Combine that with their "rough and tough" veteran attitude, and the chance that there are personal rules that their trainers planted in them, there is little chance for their to be "shipping." Plus human X pony is just...

But good story and nice writing so far. Covenant meddling (teehee I am a genius) would personally just chalk this up as another crossover, and I'm interested to see what Jorge does with his new-found free time.

I like the story a lot so far. You've written everything rather well. The only thing holding me back though, is the lack of interaction between the two groups yet. I understand you were setting up the back story, which you did extremely well, but I have to wait and see how you get the big softy Jorge interacting with the ponies before I can really judge. As for shipping, Jorge seems like he'd be content being friends with everyone instead. Out of all of Noble team I could see him being a Dad easiest, but Spartan II's don't get any fun like that.

Ya, i don't really want to ship Jorge with anyone. It was just in case there was a massive public demand to see it happen, but i'm kinda glad there isn't.

another epic chapter of epicnessness.......ness

dude, have Jorge go postal on Dash or any pony that tries to attack him. it would be funny.

I'd prefer there not be any pony shipping with Jorge. What I do want to see, however, is a large bear-hug at one point.

Also, many many instances of "I" and "I'm" not being capitalized, as well as the word "Lightening" being used improperly. It should be "Lightning".

Almost makes me want to go into the GDoc this spawned from and correct all the minor mistakes. Otherwise, great story so far!

EDIT: Not to mention the occurrences of "ya" instead of "yeah".

"Ya" is not proper. It also happens to be one of my pet peeves. Wanna know why? When someone in-story says that, all I can think of is them going all derpface on us, before warping back to normal.

>>665288665288

He could probably cave in one of their skulls with his little finger, so that probably wouldn't be the best of ideas.

>>667312667312 indeed good sir. Instead, he could just punt them to the moon. after he eats a banana

>>662684662684

I agree with that.

I need more

Reading this story is like how drug addicts describe drugs. MAAORRR

>>665288665288

I second that thought, if you mess with a Spartan even if they are severely injured they can still kill you.

...But didn't all that augmentation stuff (in the books) make the Spartans kinda sexually dormant for lack of a better word..?

Umm... I found a typo. You are free to fix this at you earliest possible convenience. "Angles could only dream" Should be Angels.

Anyways, Best Bucking Halo Crossover EVAR!!!

Do I detect a Background shipping between Rarity and Applejack?

Also, Keep up all the good work and thank your proofreader for me as well.

An Uraguay brony? Damn, didn't think there where many south of Mexico. Glad to have a fellow latino in the fandom

>>687670687670

Funny you say that. Uruguayans don't consider themselves latino. La Suiza del Sur they call it. Seriously, their whiter than Rarity. As for me, i'm not actually Uruguayan, i'm just living here.

It's cool, but Uruguay is still part of Latin America so i figured...

I know, but its their opinion. Hell even their most famous band, El Cuarteto de Nos (who are fucking awsome if i may say), wrote a song called 'No somos latinos.'

GO GORGE MAKE EM PLAY HIDE AND SEEK!!!!!!!

in other words..... THIS GONNA BE GOOD!

How did they NOT hear a spartan smashing through the wall of the barn when they where right there?

Yeah... the "holy shit" reaction the Spartan is having is quite understandable.

God damn cliffhangers!

MOAR NOW

Cliffhangers

NOOOOO GOD!!! NO GOD PLEASE NO!!! NO!!! NO!!! NOOOOOOOOOOO- *piano*

Jorge: CYA LATER SHITLORDS!!!

>>699289699289 I concur.

ahhh at last another chapter! HOO AHH

Oh Lyra....

Let's just hope Jorge doesn't go all John Rambo on Ponyville, that could end rather badly. I'm still waiting for the interactions, because I really feel that makes or breaks a crossover story. I can't wait for the next chapter though.

moar please

at first i was like, TIS GON' BE GOOD.

then i was like OH GOD GF6DFFIDRTFTGFRTVTIFRVCT RIP LIBRARY GYFITKUGVBYTFTYVFTJ

later i was like, MOAR!!!!!!!