Lane Cooper is a 17 year old from a small town in Missouri. He wakes up one day to see that his world is gone and replaced with one with ponies of different personalities and wants. Join him as he goes through this new adventure.
Chapters (2)
Regal-Storm
Joined 30th Dec, 2013 ·
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dish's = possessive = something belonging to a dish =
dishes = plural = more than one dish =
The name of a language should always be capitalized, and it should be "well enough", not "good enough".
The plural of "rush" is spelled "rushes".
The form of the word you want is "worst".
Is this fucking profanity really fucking necessary to the fucking story?
The word is "horrible"; spellcheck is your friend.
Proper punctuation is your friend as well.
Sentences always begin with capital letters, as do proper nouns... such as your own name.
If you reread your own work, you might actually catch some of the errors like this before you publish.
...and errors like this.
See my first note about possessive versus plural. Or read this guide to the apostrophe.
Your possessive doesn't even have the S this time, let alone the apostrophe; it should be "Lane's eyes". And they shot open as the noise... what? We're clearly missing a word there. Then there are issues like the missing space, the double letter in "at", and the awkward construction of the sentence.
Read your work before you publish it, get an editor, and pay more attention in English class.
Not bad.
>>Elric of Melnipony Like I said I need to get an editor. I write my stories on a xbox and it's really hard to see mistakes and edit them. And yes I know all these things, I take college English at my high school. I still thank you for showing where I screwed up and hope you enjoy the rest of the story. Oh if you are so concerned about the editing would you consider being my editor?
5209920
Doesn't that, like, take forever to write? And isn't an xbox the least qualified thing to be writing stories on? An iphone or ipad is better,
5209944 yes but I have an iPhone 4 and it's really glitchy and the iPad mini I had I gave to my mom for Christmas last year. I know I'm buying a laptop for Christmas and that's when I'm planning to edit my stories top to bottom. I really don't have anything but the xbox to write on.
It is a good story. I will keep an eye on it.
Eh, this story could use some work. All of this is happening too fast for me to get a good feel on the characters, and I'm really confused as to why this guy has "special powers". I realize that you're probably trying to give him an air of mystery, but there isn't enough for me to feel curious. I'm simply left confused. Also, the punctuation, grammar, and spelling are in need of polishing.
>>ThunderWonder
Actually that's what I'm going for. I want you to be confused. I will reveal why he has an "air of mystery" of him later. Just wait a bit. And yeah I'm working on character develop ment. I'm planning to edit soon.