Not really big on fanfic writing, but when I'm in the mood I'll jot something down from time to time. I'd much rather frequent sites like YouTube, DeviantArt, and Facebook
Everypony has a dream when they are young. Sometimes, their dreams die out as they grow older. Sometimes their dreams come true, and they live the dream.
But for Spitfire, her dream of being the captain of the Wonderbolts isn't enough.
She dreams of something else. Something more...fulfilling.
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Agreed
Good like always, dood.
1. The pic of Spitfire is HOT!
2. I actually love the idea of Spitfire being depressed that she's achieved her dreams and has nothing to shoot for anymore. It's my new headcanon for her.
3. This should have a romance tag.
4. I didn't like how Spitfire was crying so much. Beyond that fact that I and a lot of other people get annoyed by a character who keeps and crying it felt out of character for her. I'd imagine her more angry at herself. She'd be sad, but I can't see her balls out crying. But that's just me.
5. I hate shipping so I'm not going to comment on the romance since I'm biased.
6. The ending kind of angered me because it implies that all of Spitfire's troubles will go away just through cuddling and sex. To me that's no different than those teen movies that make it seem like all a woman needs to be happy in life is a man. Spitfire may have a man, but she is still without a goal. Sure it says that love is her new dream, but love isn't a dream/goal like becoming captain of the Wonderbolts is. But I'm probably reading into this way do deeply since from what I can tell the romance seems the main point of this fic with Spitfire's crisis being just an excuse for her and Soarin to be together.
7. Is the hashtag supposed to be there?
I may seem harsh but I liked the fic overall and would give it a like if for some reason my kindle would let me. (my kindle's f.u.b.a.r.) I'd actually like to see a fic where Spitfire deals with her problems of not having a dream to shoot for anymore without it ending in cuddling.
This is assuming the entire fic is just the first chapter, which judging by it seems to be the case. But for some reason your author's notes gives me the vibe that there'll be more so...?
Despite what you might think this fic is actually well written.
Now on the other hoof I agree with 3894153 about the ending.
I was hoping to find an inspirational fic that gets me all fired up; but what I found was an introduction to a very descent conflict which has a quick climax and an very simple solution that while not bad, left me unsatisfied.
Please don't speak badly about your self or your work in the future. it doesn't do you any good.
You should be proud.
That is all.
~Leonzilla
3894153 I just write whatever crap comes into my head. And I only do short stories because none of my ideas are good enough to make into longer ones. I also try to avoid getting Featured, since my first and only story to ever get featured is a clopfic that was purposely poorly written, and destroyed my faith in the site's 'what makes a good story?' system.
Finally, if you expect me to give some profound and intelligent speech about why Spitfire is going through all this to wind up with Soarin in the end, then sorry. I am one of the retarded writers on this site. Actually, the only retarded writer on this site. XD So, yeah, sorry bro.
You must be disappointed. I seem to have that sort of effect on people. But then, I don't write these stories with the intention of showing how good a writer I am - I write these short fics simply...Because.
3894284 Well, I would have gone a little further, but I am retarded. DUH! HERP-A-DERP-A-DERP!
Anyways, give this story a dislike like I think you're implying, and I'll point you in the direction of a much better writer than me. Try RainbowBob, or Pizzy1334, or how about Rotorix? Manes? The Muncorn? They all got good stuff.
3895315 No dude you got me all wrong I was just giving constructive criticism even though I knew you were not looking for any.
I just like personally to consider how improve a random piece of literature, is more like a hobby and just because I'm pointing out thing that I thought might be improved doesn't mean your work fails.
There is no such thing as a perfect story.Even master pieces can be improved. I just like to point the authors how to do so if they ever wish to do so; although they really don't have to.
3895306
...
I'm in awe after reading your personal view.
Gee, I don't even know where to begin. how about if you answer the question?
"Why do you write?" ???
You must gain something.You don't have to tell us; but I think you should know yourself.
Now I'm not disappointed with you at all. I'm really curios to find an author that wishes to believe that his writing has little worth and also that has no faith in the site system.
It seems to me that you are merely protecting yourself from getting your hopes up and then feeling really disappointed.
static2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130924050516/warframe/images/5/5f/I_know_that_feel_bro.jpg
There were some very intelligent and coherent paragraphs in the story that you should be proud!.
Lastly I believe you must have noticed the like and fave that I gave you,
and I like to inform you that I have never given a dislike in the whole time I have being in Fimfiction.
Best wishes,
~Leonzilla
3896175 I put myself down because I do not want my followers to ever think I consider myself better than them in any way. I value my follower on this site. Well actually, no. I have no followers here.
I have friends. 84 amazingly talented friends at that.
I am the same way with my YouTube subscribers. I do not want my friends to ever think that I will see myself as better than them should I ever attain a large number of followers and subscribers. I guess my methods of proving that are a little...well, daft, but then I am daft myself. As this video from my channel shows.
Yes. That is me.
But I do appreciate your constructive criticism, despite how I may have sentenced my reply to your comment. I really do. And I will take your advice into consideration in my next story as such.
For the record, I meant to imply that Spitfire and Soarin were only laying in the bed together, not that they had sex or anything. Maybe if I hadn't been tired that night, I may have gone into a little more detail about the events leading up to their being in bed together. But I didn't so any negative feedback from people is welcomed by me with open arms.
I shall now follow you, because if you so happened to watch my awful but hilarious (ahem) 'dance', then you deserve one. XD
Welcome me aboard your Followers list when you are ready, madam / sir.
(Salutes)
- UniqueSKD
3896201 yes I saw your dance before you replied in the last chapter of your only feature story hehe.
Although that is a clear violation of Fimfiction rules to not post things that are not chapters as if they were. XD
I'm glad you acknowledge your achievement on gathering
8485 amazingly talented friends.I believe there is a huge grey area between having no pride and believing yourself superior.
I mean just because you rejoice on your place for what you have accomplish doesn't mean you believe you are better than anybody.You can still show pride and gratitude as much as you wish and I don't think anybody will have a problem as long as you keep a humble demeanor.
So with out holding my furor I welcome you to my followers list and love to be in yours as well.
~Leonzi- a you know who I am.
3896278 Well, me and Meeester have a history of not getting along with one another, so if it's a violation, then...meh. XD
The other admins, I get on fine with them. If they say I can't do it personally, then I'll happily take it off, though I do not see the point of allowing people to put in videos on their stories if they didn't approve of it.
3896295 The think is they approve of videos withing chapters they just don't approve of additional chapters that are not really chapters; but something that rather belongs to a blog post or an author note.
The reason for this is that whenever you add a new chapter to a story, it goes to the front page under the column of most resent updates, and if that chapter happens to not really be a chapter then you are getting a space that shouldn't be given to your story since is not really a chapter update according to the mods.
They like to keep it as fair as possible and fake updates happen to mess up with the stories algorithm somehow.
Does that make sense? Although now there is really no point in you taking it off besides maybe avoiding some nagging from the mods in the future.
~Leonzilla
3896327 Well, if I annoy the mods, then I annoy the mods. I'l accept my fate.
So long as you and the rest of my followers are okay, that's all that matters to me, really.
This Hawker Hurricane guy sounds like a good stallion.
NB to all in general: I created my OC Hawker Hurricane BEFORE I read this fic. I have an interest in military history, including military aircraft. As there was already the character Spitfire, calling my OC Hawker Hurricane (a Pegasus BTW) was to me a no-brainer. My HH though is Spitfire's twin brother and a Group Captain in the Royal Equestrian Air Force.
6067260 (falls from chair, laughing his ass off at the sheer coincidence that someone actually had an OC named after a character previously thought to have been made up)
Um, UniqueSKD will be chuckling like the madman he often is for a while now, so...I'll speak for him I guess. I'm Unique, by the way. I'm the awesome and devilishly handsome looking anthro-pony OC of his, created by him. I am original. Do not steal. XD So, er, UniqueSKD is still laughing, but on his behalf, thank you for giving this story a read, and we hope you enjoyed seeing your OC in this story despite us not even knowing about it until now. And above all else - oh god, he's still laughing about it? - we hope you will perhaps check out our other fanfics. We're not the best of writers but when we put our fingers - or in my case, hooves - to the keyboard we at least try to write something decent, and we do have a few good stories to offer. Thank you again for reading, and may you be safe and well wherever in the world you might be. God damn it, UniqueSKD! It's not THAT funny! Seriously! Humans are weird. And they say I'm nutty...
Aww they're so cuteee
Adorable!!!