Alexstrazsa
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Joined July 2011
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Twilight begins to have strange dreams, filled with shadowy figures and a mysterious key. Fearing that they're connected somehow and trying to send her a message, she starts research on her troubled slumber. Her fears are only confirmed, however, when mysterious creatures begin to attack Ponyville.
I have been waiting for a GOOD Kingdom Hearts Crossover, while I have seen some good artwork especially depicting the keyblade concepts for each of the mane 6 and the Royal Alicorn Sisters. I wonder Twilight will be world hopping or sticking to Equestria? I am definitely tracking this!
,
there's no way I'm not tracking this. maybe I'll even dig up Kingdom Hearts again to play...it's been a while.
" I wonder who will be the "Riku" Guess I'll have to wait! "
yeah, silly question, there's already a match for that...attitude, hair and All...Trixie.
think about it...the hair/Mane is the exact same color, too
I'm more interested in who her kairi is gonna be, and who ends up in Donald and Goofy's shoes (so to speak with Donald)
This is very well written but the pacing consistently through me off. it felt like a much larger idea necessitating gradual introduction was kind of squished into a smaller amount of words. I understand the interest to get to the universe crossover being the driving force behind the story, but plunging into it this rapidly left me feeling a little disjointed. That said, now that you've established the premise, a more gradual approach in later chapters might be idea. Either way, interested to see where the story goes - very nice to be able to read something and not have to grit my teeth even once for grammatical or spelling errors! Good use of description as well, very easy to get immersed in the presented scenery.
I had this weird thought for A Kingdom Hearts crossover fic, like Sora landing in Equestria as a blank flank Earth-pony after helping free Nightmare Moon from the Darkness he gets his cutie mark, a Heart with a Keyhole, which is the keyhole for Equestria.
He would only be able to do magic in wisdom form, get aerial maneuverability in master form, while Final form gave him near Alicorn levels of both abilities.
Too damn bad I can't write worth a damn.
Not one for most crossover but this was good. Not only because I am familiar with KH so it is easy to get an idea of how the action is happening but the writing was fantastic. If there are spelling errors, i didn't notice them. And because of that I could stay immersed and not have to waste time figuring out what you meant by a sentence or something to that effect.
Interested to see where this leads. gonna track. 
Oho... THIS looks interesting, though she's already at an advantage since she didn't have to chose something to give up! xD
Though, I DO have to question... Why can't she just levitate it? I'm sure you're thought about it, and have your reasons, but I'm hoping you'll be willing to share! ^^
Tracked this SO hard! Wouldn't have found it if it wasn't for your blog! I don't get it. I'm watching you, but I never got an e-mail or a notification! So... Thanks for making the blog, because I may have never found out about this! XD
You make a good point. Why doesn't she just levitate it? Honestly, I think that would be too easy. She should have to physically touch the Keyblade in order to wield it properly and channel magic through it as a bonus. Heck, only in Final Form was Sora able to use it without actually touching it.
I don't know if there's going to be equivalents like that, but maybe. I'm still planning things out.
Yeah, I've noticed this chapter is typically shorter than what I usually write, so that's more than likely why it feels a little rushed. In the future I'll be sure to flesh out ideas and have them flow better.
This is... 'Keyblade Enhanced' magic.
It seemed like the logical choice to me!
Eh... I wouldn't expect too many parallels. I'd like a more original story, so if I start throwing in characters to match Riku and Kairi it might start feeling too close to the game. With this crossover, I'm mainly going for 'elements' of the game, such as the Keyblade, Heartless, Keyholes, Forms, and the idea of 'friendship' being a very deciding factor. Some parts from the game will definitely not be present, but in the end that shouldn't affect the quality of the story.
Still magic on it's own can kill Heartless.
Also little fact on Final Form: In Final From Sora utilizes the full Power of Light that he and Roxas wield within their bodies and hearts,Thus giving Sora the ability to wiled two Keyblade without touching them with his power over Light.
>>349926 Well... Yes, I will concede that, BUT! I would like to bring up the point (JUST for the sake of argument, because I LOVE to argue! XD) Sora never had any magic until he got the Keyblade! The Keyblade is what GAVE him magic to begin with, while Twilight has hers innately, and is BOOSTED through the Keyblade! So... inyourface! XD
(Heck, you could even use that as a plot-device in the future! xD Levitating it would increase her Attack speed, while gripping it would increase her Magic, ect. Just something that you could POTENTIALLY mess with. Otherwise, I GUESS I'll except your reason, even if it seems a tad flimsy. xD *Trollface* )
~ Magical Trevor, Minstrel of Equestria
p.s. I don't REALLY expect anything I say to actually change anything you've decided. I just love to argue, especially with something so flexible like that! XD Thanks for taking the time to argue back/explain why you made the choice you did. Appreciate understanding your logic!
Just have to say something (insert proper emoticon here) as final form grants full power of the keyblade to wield them without actually touching them, and hover on the ground of course. Then master form must give only half of keyblades power, because sora can levitate only other keyblade in front of him
Just some weird logic of mine
Ooooh! I haven't seen one of these yet on here! Those games are some of my favorites and I love them dearly. I liked the story. :3
And I like YOUR story so far! As far as the pacing mentioned by others... I'm not sure I see that.Rushed insofar as the whole OMGihaveakeybladenow thing goes, yeah, that all sort of happens in a rush. But I'm not sure if that's all that bad, or how much good stretching that out would do. Hm... I dunno though.
Besides that, I'm excited to see what you do with this, and what you borrow and don't borrow from the games. :)
Kingdom Heart Crossover!!!
Following you inmediatly! XD
KH and MLP:FIM are my Two Most Favorite Things ever in all the World!
I was Thinking in a crossover by myself...but...Im not a writter XD (I think my ideas gonna stay in my mind...or some images, at least I can draw a little XD)
Unfortunately no. Few reasons are: there's winter and it's cold so ice cream is not yet good for making, and i haven't found the food colors in my nearby store. Of course it can be made without the colors but this popped up short after you gave that link and then i saw what it would look like without them
. So......yeah
Aww, you beat me to the punch. Ah well, I'm still planning on a Chain of Memories crossover using the show's episodes as the levels within the castle. Already got the Equestrian version of the Organization down too. :D
Definitely tracking this and looking forward to seeing how the girls fit into KH1.
I love the kingdom hearts series, so I'm gonna follow this.
I do have a few gripes with this though. One is the pacing (which has been mentioned already so I won't dwell on it). The other thing is Twilight seemed to get her keyblade without any sort of rhyme or reason. Sora was almost swallowed by the darkness when he got his, so a similar situation, like the heartless over powering Twilight and her friends, and her calling out for someone to help them, and THEN getting the keyblade, I feel would work a lot better.
Good luck with the rest of this.
Had to make an account here to comment on this since EqD stopped allowing us to use our Google Accounts.
Perhaps I need to play Kingdom Hearts to understand what the hell is going on, but, well, I can’t help but find this story incredibly contrived, chock full of out of character actions, full of logical fallacies, wild assumptions, ultra-fast pacing, and huge leaps in logic and judgment, and a good thirty minute read of Twilight fondling the idiot ball. There's so much of it, in fact, and it's so irritating and maddening, the only way I can really stop and organize my thoughts properly is to go through the story point by point.
She glanced to the shield, and while it was protective, it was also physically restrictive
How so? She has telekinesis, after all. She could probably handle it pretty well, floating it around in the air and blocking off all enemy attacks with more agility than anybody trying to actually HOLD it.
looking to Twilight with a sense of confusion
Awkward wording much?
“I’ve been having these strange dreams.” Twilight replied, looking through the nearest cupboard for something to snack on. “And I have no idea what they mean.”
Who says they mean anything? I understand being distressed by troubling dreams night after night, but immediately jumping to the conclusion that dreams ‘mean’ something seems a bit out of character for Twilight, especially since there’s never been any scientific proof that dreams ever mean anything beyond the fevered hallucinations of a half-active mind. I had a dream last night that I was discussing the nature-nurture phenomenon with a friend of mine whilst watching an episode of Futurama in Spanish. Does this ‘mean’ something too?
And no, the fact that it’ll surely turn out that the dreams DO in fact mean something does not make this conclusion jumping any less weird for Twilight.
“I also dreamed about... something chasing me. All I can remember is yellow eyes, though...”
“Yeesh. Sounds like something out of one of your horror books,”
Bit extreme, isn’t it? Kinda a leap in logic? ‘Something with yellow eyes is chasing you’ does not quite a horror book make. A tentacled monstrosity from beyond the farplane with millions of glowing yellow eyes is a horror story. A yellow-eyed pony wearing a leather stitch mask with a chainsaw is a horror story. ‘Something with yellow eyes is chasing you’ could easily BE a horror story, but it’s so vague it’s nowhere near scary. I can understand fearing something in a dream, where logic has no meaning, but even Spike’s reaction seems to be taking it a bit far.
“Good thing no monsters around here have yellow eyes, huh?”
Wait, what? *looks at Diamond Dogs, Discord, The Red Dragon, The Green Dragon, Gilda, the Quarry Eels, The Ursas, and Iron Will*
I think Spike’s gone colorblind...
It’s probably just your imagination getting to you
Yes. This is the logical assumption. Listen to Spike. (This is especially weird since it’s usually Spike who makes wild conclusions and has an overactive imagination)
‘Maybe she can tell me something about my dreams’
Okay... Why is Twilight so obsessed with these dreams? I get that they’re a little disturbing to her, but dreams are just... well dreams. We’ve seen outright that dreams don’t tend to really MEAN anything in Equestria before (Bridle Gossip, Best Pet), so there’s no contextual difference between Earthly dreams and Equestrian dreams, and as seen in Bridle Gossip, Twilight doesn’t tend to obsess over dreams, even if they may seem relevant. She didn’t bring up her fevered, nervous dreams even once that episode. Why, all of a sudden, would she be obsessing over her dreams when she’s never shown any predisposition to even pay attention to them, much less be into dream interpretation? Yes, it’s annoying when you continue to have dreams that keep you from getting a good night’s sleep, and if this had been happening for a month or something I could understand it driving Twilight to find out more so she could stop the dreams from happening or something... but she has three restless nights and all of a sudden she’s obsessive and pining to interpret her dreams? This seems like a rather big shift in character...
I’m not against using meaningful dreams as a jumping off point in any context. Fantasy tends to do that. But when you start ignoring the way a character acts to make way for your meaningful dreams, it gets annoying. I would buy it if Twilight went about her day, ignoring what she dreamed, and then only starting to apply her dreams when things start to happen that appear eerily similar to them, but the obsessive thing is really bugging me...
And no, of course I’m not saying that Twilight doesn’t get obsessive or doesn’t overreact or anything. She gets obsessive a lot, like in Feeling Pinkie Keen and Lesson Zero. And she really overreacted in Lesson Zero and it’s about time. But she’s never shown any predisposition to overreact about something as benign and completely unrelated to her activities or relationships as dreams. It’s like Twilight suddenly becoming obsessive with cloudwatching because you can sometimes see weird images in the clouds. It just doesn’t seem to fit.
“I’m trying to figure out what they mean, and if there’s some connection between them.”
WHY?! How does this benefit you in any way? They have had nothing to do with magic, your studies, your friends, your relationships, or anything, and from the way you’ve described them, they sound so vague and weird that they don’t sound all that different from normal dreams in the first place! What is your sudden obsession all about?!
“Maybe there isn’t!”
Great, Twilight, now you’ve got PINKIE being the logical one...
“If something big is going to happen... it might be related to my dreams. I have to go research more.”
Okay, stop. Just stop.
Pinkie has a doozy. Cause for alarm, perhaps, but your first reaction is that ‘it might be related to your dreams, I must do research?’ What about, I dunno, getting everybody ready and preparing for anything like you did in ‘It’s About Time?’ What about thinking and preparing yourself rationally?
I can see Twilight getting nervous at a doozy, given what happened last time, but her first thought is that it might have to do with her dreams? That’s a hell of an assumption isn’t it? Twilight really seems to be doing a lot of that... making wild and random assumptions, jumping to crazy conclusions, and being super obsessive. And as I said, Twilight CAN be obsessive, jump to conclusions, and make assumptions, but there’s always been a specific context to it. She obsesses about her studies! She obsesses about magic and pleasing her friends and Princess Celestia! She obsesses about danger ONLY when she has legitimate reason to worry about it (as seen in It’s About Time), and even then, she doesn’t go making wild conjecture and linking the potential issue to random things until she’s been driven near insane by fatigue. WHY are these dreams bothering her so much?
We haven’t been given any reason, other than Twilight’s constant harping on them, to believe that these dreams are anything more than regular, weird dreams. Dreams being weird and occasionally disturbing, is the norm. And aside from the fact that she’s had three of them, in relatively close proximity to one another, which isn’t that many and isn’t that strange, there hasn’t been enough similarity between to immediately suggest some sort of prophecy or to believe that these dreams mean anything. Twilight, being the rational member of the group, would probably see this too.
It’d actually make MORE sense if Spike and Pinkie were the ones to suggest that the dreams meant something and Twilight were the one to brush them off, only to grow to admit they had a point when the weird things start happening. Spike has been known to jump to conclusions and make wild conjecture (Zombie Ponies!), and who knows what goes on in Pinkie’s head? But as it is, it feels like everything has gone topsy turvy!
“I’ll see you later, Pinkie,” the unicorn said, walking to the door with added urgency. “I hope.”
Jeez, I know Twi’s upset, but that’s a little gloom-and-doomy, isn’t it?
Book after book was tossed aside with a burst of magic, followed by an angry grunt of ‘useless’
You know, if there was ever actually a reason for her to be obsessive about her dreams in the first place then I could understand her going into a ‘studying fit,’ but as there’s been no decent reason or context for it, it just feels contrived.
Also, she’s finally getting her answers about what her dreams might mean (fake and fraudulent as dream interpretation may be), and she’s just tossing every answer and possibility aside? What’s with that? Suddenly Twilight is acting like a Creationist trying to play the science game...
Her pupils were dilated in what looked to be terror, and she was even shaking a bit.
Maybe she’s been hitting the smack? 
The image of the dark creatures, with their hauntingly yellow eyes, flashed through Twilight’s head. “It can’t be...”
...And it still very well might not be! Y U jump to random conclusions, Twilight?! You’re supposed to be the rational one!
continued their progression
MORE awkward wording! 
But seriously, why not something more menacing, like “Continued to snarl and shamble towards the six terrified little ponies”? Saying something like ‘continued their progression’ sounds so blank and instruction-manual-like.
a large key materialized in front of her and broke her concentration
...just... out of nowhere? Does that not seem, well... insultingly contrived to you?
“Okay... Ets see ‘at oo ca’ do,” she managed to say, through the keys grip.
...Why doesn’t she just use magic to wield it? Telekinetic swordsmanship is awesome! And way more practical than trying to wield a sword with your MOUTH.
It was like she always knew how to use the key, but that couldn’t be possible, as she had never touched it in her life.
In a different story, this could be equated to ‘magical telepathic link’ or some other magical BS and I could just swallow it, but this story is already so contrived and OOC that it’s just one more unbelievable convenience that I can’t help but facepalm at.
“What was that, Twi?” Dash asked, looking from Twilight to the thickness of the forest. “We couldn’t even touch them... then you come along with this big key thingie and take them out with one hit!”
I too demand some goddamn explanation.
There's just so much wrong...
As I said, I’ve never played Kingdom Hearts, and maybe I need to to know why Twilight is suddenly acting so strangely and there are all of these weird logical leaps and unlikely conveniences, but as it is, the story really hasn’t sold me. A good story, like say, the Dresden Fillies, will make everything make sense and make the story an interesting read even if you HAVEN’T read/seen/played whatever ponies are crossing over with. A really good story, again, like the Dresden Fillies, will actually draw you INTO that new story. This though... it just doesn’t make sense and is so out of character and contrived, I certainly can’t understand what the hell is going on and I’m certainly not sold on Kingdom Hearts. I’m sorry, but this just isn’t very good.
I wouldn't be so upset if it weren't so blatantly obvious what's going on over at EqD and the fact that this is an EqD prereader writing it here... The prereaders constantly harp on only accepting the 'best of the best' but when they make a story that is sub-par, they get a free pass. This has happened more than once but this one is just so blatant it's damn near insulting. If this WAS preread then it's obvious that simply who the author is was taken into account. If this had been written by average joe Brony this would have never made it to EqD. I guess they can dish it out but they just can't take it.
1. With the energy it takes to hold that bulky shield, she could be wielding something else.
2. Opinion.
3. As far as we know, Twilight doesn't have cryptic dreams. If she suddenly starts having them, she's probably going to become concerned.
4. Opinion.
5. Handled. Handled. Handled. Got me there. Handled. Probably farther from Ponyville. Fair enough. Not really a monster.
7, 8, 10. With the info from #3, we can determine that Twilight doesn't normally have strange dreams, or dreams at all. In fact, the only canon dream we've seen is in Bridle Gossip, and something bad had happened. Judging from past experience, Twilight is likely to look a little farther into her dreams when they start happening, especially if they're consistent. Now, I'm trying to say this concept was written completely correctly. It could probably do with some rewriting of a few parts. I am, however, saying that you need to suspend your disbelief a little bit and just roll with the idea that Twilight is paying more attention to these dreams than she might normally.
11. Yes
12. They aren't entirely random.
13. Opinion.
14. Welcome to Kingdom Hearts.
15. Levitation is boring, and a physical connection with the Keyblade is required 95% of the time.
16. Welcome to Kingdom Hearts.
17. Welcome. To. Kingdom. Hearts.
This, everyone, is why you should probably be familiar with a crossover before reading a fic related to it. Yes, you did have some good points in there, but a lot of the problem stemmed from not having played the game. It also doesn't help that out of all of the people who have read this, you are the only person who pointed these issues. If I really wanted to, I could probably chalk it all up to 'nit-picking' and call it a day. I showed this fic to multiple people - who have written very good fics and know what they're doing - and none of them brought up any of the problems you did. Maybe you stick to canon more strictly than other people do. I'm not sure.
What I do know is that while I value your input on this chapter, there is a very small chance I'm going to alter anything. If any of that was a common complaint (bringing my complaint counter to more than... 3 or so) I'd consider making changes, but as it stands, a lot of people have enjoyed it how it is, and are willingly to look past a trivial logic problem to just enjoy the story.
Edit: Just noticed your kind little comment about us at EQD. As I said before, of the numerous people I showed this to, none of them brought up any of the issues you did.
Well then. At least I've got a good reason to never play Kingdom Hearts then. If this is really remaining that faithful to it then its story is obviously beyond forced. Guess that's to be expected when it's such an obvious and shameless cash cow, though...
Forgive me however, if I don't think that a major shift in character to an obsessive and paranoid dream interpreting wreck is merely a 'trivial issue.' Yeah, the dream we SAW was a little bit odd, but no more so than a normal dream. Dreams by nature tend to be really weird. We have no idea what happened in the first two dreams, either, and from what Twilight said there's really nothing to separate them from any other, naturally strange dream. Again, I'd understand if Twilight started getting nervous and jumpy and paranoid if this had been going on for roundabout a month or something, but after three days? It's like Twilight is LOOKING for an excuse to go off the deep end. Twilight is the rational member of the group, save for when she's been driven to panic, and there just doesn't seem the grounds for that in this story.
Edit: As for EqD, I wouldn't care about the problems with this story at all if it weren't for the fact that you are an EqD prereader. I would just shrug it off and it wouldn't bother me at all. But recently, EqD has only been accepting stories that are absolutely perfect and has been telling authors that aren't completely perfect to go and take a hike. So yeah, when a prereader gets his fanfic up and it's obviously only half polished and contains a ton of incredibly awkward language, out of character moments, and no logic to it, I tend to get a little suspicious.
Though he does seem peeved, Rainbow Smash has a few valid points. The pacing on this whole thing seemed out of whack to me. Maybe it's because I typically read longer fics, maybe it's because I have played through KH, but everything seemed rushed. Bam, dream obsession. Bam, over to Pinkie's. Tiny dialog exchange. Inexplicable research break (I'm with smash on this, this seems ooc. Yes, Twi likes books, but she doesn't tend to break at the sign of imminent danger to read unless she's double checking a specific solution.) We immediately break from the library to battling heartless, a materializing keyblade, and victory.
My big point is that you need to slow down. You need to establish relationships and personalities before jumping into the action. We know the source material but we don't know your universe. Every writer molds their relationships differently, and right now I know nothing about your characters. I wuld have preferred to see the rest of the mane 6 introduced in some less jarring way than immediate combat as well. Even something as small as a few lines with Applejack at her stand earlier in the day or running into Dash and Rarity arguing about something random would eliminate that "HERE HAVE SOME MORE CHARACTERS!" feeling. So yeah. Slow down, elaborate, expound upon. The framework isn't terrible, it just needs to be built up and polished substantially.
Points that don't add up to me... Biting the keyblade instead of telekinesis. Huh? Twilight doesn't typically hold books, quills, cooking implements, tools, food, or anything else with her mouth. Add to this that the KH universe has already made allowance for non-physical contact attacks involving a hurled keyblade and it doesn't make a lot of sense. Once you factor in the Master and Final drive forms from KH2 that feature ACTUAL telekinetic dual wielding of keyblades and it becomes downright silly. You don't even have to play the unicorn card, it's established Keyblade canon.
The obsession with the dreams. You need to allude to worry, show quiet concern over these types of things. It's the difference between making sure not to talk to your friend during an important scene at a movie and yammering "Hey, hey, hey, hey check this out! Did you hear that? Did you get that part?" Twi probably would be concerned, but she wouldn't bring it up in every conversation, and she'd probably try to tell herself she was being ridiculous rather than become convinced she was dreaming of omens.
Third, she left Pinkie. This bugged me, alot. She has a living, breathing, fourth wall smashing future-barometer right there telling her shit's about to get real and she just rolls out. One would think keeping Pinkie around for updates on the cataclysm would be prudent.
Lastly, as far as the EQD bias goes, it doesn't particularly concern me. I've seen a few shoddier works slip through on occasion, but I've never payed attention to any writers relation to eqd prereaders or staff. There's no such things as having earned or deserved a nod from EQD in my opinion. You should feel blessed if you get it, if you don't then no one owes you squat. It's fanfic, not war. Hopefully though, you'll be less inclined to blow off some of Crash's points with someone a bit less blatantly antagonistic agreeing with them.
Good luck, I'll probably check back in next chapter and see how things progress.
Now, that was a much better wording for criticism. I'm aware of the pacing issue, as a lot of people have pointed out, so there's a good chance I'll go back and make it longer to spread it out better. In the process, I'll rework some parts and change some dialogue so Twilight doesn't seem as obsessive over it. Then I'll make her levitate it instead. A little boring, but as you've said, it makes more sense. I'm way too used to seeing images of ponies holding the keyblade in their mouth, and I tried applying that to a character it doesn't quite work with.
Thanks for commenting.
Edit: I consulted a few people on it and I've decided against the floating. The argument I've heard is that it frees up Twilight's magic for other uses, so she doesn't have to focus on levitating the Keyblade in addition to the rest of a fight.
Aha, I go scrolling through Equestria Daily and what do I find? Competition! 
been planning my own Kingdom Hearts/Pony crossover for over a month now and finally putting words to processor.
I don't really have anything to say for criticism because I usually reserve that for special occasions. Kingdom Hearts is my most beloved game series, and the simple fact that someone else is crossing over with FiM tickles me pink. So long as you're willing to research and double check reference material for continuity's sake, I applaud any direction you go with this.
Besides, who the hay cares what people are gonna say about the story? Pacing and any other real issue they have comes with practice. If you don't write you can't practice so why are they whining to begin with?
Any way, best of luck to your story, my new rival 
Best of luck to you as well! However, we both have another player in this little game. Are you familiar with Shire Folk? He just started a Kingdom Hearts/MLP crossover fic... and he's in the process of a another KH fic that's in the 1,500,000 word ballpark right now.
I will have to look into that some time. I dunno if I have the patience (or time) to read 1.5 million words, but I'll try and keep up with his crossover, though perhaps I shouldn't? Reading or watching anything similar to your own forays can cause unintentional 'borrowing.' Ack, listen to me. I'm being too critical of myself 
Never mind that, I should just stick to my guns. After all, the story is my own interpretation of elements from both franchises. No other person is going to write my story :p
Heh. Tracking. As a die-hard KH fan, I have the Kingdom Herats OST on MP3 files. I listened to the appropriate symphony for each scene as I read.
Symphonies I used
Dive Into The Heart- Station of Awakening
Welcome to Wondeland- talking and 'curious' or odd scenes
Lazy Afternoons- Casual and talking scenes
Vim and Vigor- combat scene
Hoped this helped. You can find these on YouTube. Find the ones done by a user called DanieldaBandGeek95 for the best quality.
-Craterfist
thank you! alex for enlightning us with this crossover im very pleased by it since everypony mention that one little slip up i wont even mention it in my post 
anywho as i read crossovers of anykind i hardly ever expect things to be the same as canon(sp?) heck i even expect some personalities to be switched! But anyway more to the point ranbowsmash there are some things i agree with abit, same as gandhi but i think you went abit overboard with your critical thinking on this its FANfiction 
dont expect fics (especially crossovers) to be the same as what you see on the show and dont expect from what its crossed with to be the same either, keep up the great work alex! Hope to see more soon im definitly tracking :D oh and nice decition for not adding in the levitation bit if you did that, twilights final form (if you even adding that little element into the story) wouldnt hold much of special meaning if she could already do it :3
Ps: thank you for letting us know you like to torture yourself by reading fanfics you obviously dont like starting from before the middle of this chapter you could have read a little bit and say to yourself "ehh whatever" and switch to a new one but no you just endured and had to say something about it all at the end didnt you? xP
Good work on this, and I cant wait until you are done reworking this. I have a suggestion for the keyblade-mouth issue thingy: Next chapter, Twilight decides that it is awfully inconvenient to hold the keyblade in her mouth, and comes up with a spell to get it to stick on her hoof.
I hope you have not given up on this story. No offence meant to others, but this is the first good Kingdom Hearts/MLP story i've found on FIM. As for the Keyblade i wonder, who passed it on to Twilight?
The Keyblade can only be acquired 2 ways: 1, another bearer passes it onto a person, or in this case pony, through an "Inheritance Ceremony". 2, a person or pony touches a Keyblade. In both cases, the person/pony can only get a Keyblade of their own if the Keyblade itself deems them worthy.
So... more soon please!
>>356572 yes you need to play it to know what the buck is going on. this story is pretty close to the intro cut-scene and the major events in the first part of actual game-play. so go play the first Kingdom Hearts, and learn the original KH storyline. then reread this fic
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