• Member Since 6th Jun, 2013
  • offline last seen Sep 25th, 2017

FullMetalFurbee


Bitter southerner with a laptop. I write Mountain Dew fueled train wrecks.

T
Source

Twilight stumbles upon a filly who claims to be something the alicorn never thought possible. After only a few brief minutes of talking to the little earth pony, Twilight's world is left fundamentally altered.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 11 )

That was deep.

I would put a space between paragraphs and make each paragraph just a little bit shorter. This was a beautiful story, so I don't want a structural error to mess it up.

3846121 I hadn't considered that. Maybe I'm just used to writing excessive blocks of text, hehe. I'll space it out and see if it looks good in the original document. If I like it, I might make that change here.

So... don't be an atheist or the world will magically be destroyed? :rainbowhuh:

3856216 When did religion come into this story? I must have missed something. :derpytongue2:

3857043 Um... the pony named with a religious name who created the world and is destroying it because the ponies didn't believe in her?

How is that not religion?

It reads like every other story out of the Old Testament.

Not to be a naysayer (no pun intended), but I don't get the point of it. I liked the writing style just fine and the grammar is phenomenal, but, personally, I like a story with a bit more plot to it.

4390260 , You know, you could just search for stories with the "sex" tag...
*smacking my own head against a wall for telling a terrible joke*

4601075 :ajbemused:
Okay... that was a little funny.

3857043
So you're saying you don't want this story added to the Christian Bronies main folders? I'm okay with that, I'm just confused. :derpyderp2:

(By the by, it rather was a bit too heavy-handed.)

Kinda seems like this actually deserves a Tragedy tag. This is not the good ending.

4788080 In what sense is "everything ceases to exist because one person didn't muster up enough 'belief juice' to keep Gaia alive" Christian? :trixieshiftright:

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