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Steven is a brony that retired from the military. The first armored devition, so he retired from the military to be a engineer. When one day a crazy man with a mishen gun came to town. Steve came out with an old riffile and began to fire in front of him he imeataly took billets to the chest. After firing 7 shots the man fell over dead and he soon fallows!
(a little bit of Comedy!)
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Kind of seems as if your typing actually has a lisp at certain points along with the other misspellings, which is odd. An editor would help to improve this immensely.
Please...learn...to...spell
There's a neat little program on your computer called Spellcheck. Have you ever considered using it?
Wow.
Such spell.
Very suck.
Many Plan 9.
Spelling is...lacking I guess is the nice way to put it
. An editor could really help clean this up...or even spell check (which a lot of browsers have built in).
3846327
I'm using a bad spell check
I pad typing
3846407
don't write on your iPad then.
3846430
I'm even Worse on computers and I HATE MAKS!
Plus I'm writing on it now
New Dragon Empire was worce!
Hello sir, I came here today to give you a piece of M and M review. (not the candy)
To be honest with you, your story is crap. Crappier than a writer that doesn't know english and uses google translate to help him/her. The storyline seems cliche and bland already at the first ten words.
I see that you have spelling problems but that doesn't explain anything because I'm using my phone to type down this review. And my phone had low quality auto correct and I still manage to write down words just fine.
I'm guessing you're a noob writer, and I got to admit. When I wrote my first fanfic, it was horrible, but to think about it. I rather read it than this. You have chapters that are out of pace and the plot is very, very, very, very old. The description is complete potatoe mash. Plus, if there was a crazy old man running around town (which will not happen) then the authorities will take him down with lethal or non-leathal force.
The only thing good about this is pretty much nothing at all. So I'll give you a 3/10.
3846540 I'm not the best at writing, but an can write better than you. I don't even need an editor. I wrote 12 stories.
What an utterly abominable story.
3847601
Yes, even 11 year olds could do better then this.
t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSDR0w389Nooo9J-G4ZqXIa0PSDXtqq3fSdqDqC0CGaQD81Zyvo
That takes care of the spelling mistakes...other than fallow. Fallow has everything to do with agriculture, not following (with a "O") something.
Pffffftttt
There's no way this isn't a trollfic.
It's pretty damn good at it's job, I'll give it that.
That needs to be a metal band- oh! or maybe Magical Misery Corps- shit, I gotta write this down...
3886447
It sounds like an item. "We found the magical misery core!"
It runs the magical misery warp drive, I guess.
static4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130723130832/elderscrolls/images/0/04/Grammar-nazi-meme-generator-spell-it-right-911265.gif
3892103
Warp drive active
RUN AWAY!
cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/250x250/45311455.jpg
There are no words to describe your abuse of the English language. What you are doing makes genocide look like playground bullying.
3846611
If this is a 3/10, then whats a 1/10?!
4031736 he's a different language he stated that a couple chapters ago so get off his fucking case
4031794
An editor or a simple spellchecking program which takes little effort to acquire and/ or use, depending on which is chosen, would probably wipe out most if not all the errors in spelling that this story has. Spelling errors would be terribly easy to remedy. Other errors that may be present, whatever they are, would take some time to fix.
4031794
I'm amarican!!
Spell check... oh... oh GOD USE SPELL CHECK OR GET AN EDITOR OR SOMETHING
The spelling IS atrocious as everybody has stated, but it isn't the biggest problem in my opinion. Your sentence structure...well the structure of pretty much everything written is a mess, in addition to improper use of...well pretty much everything. This desperately needs an editor/entire rewrite.
Aside from the title on the first chapter [Jugement] being misspelled, there are just innumerable problems with this fanfic as a collective whole. You should really invest in an editor...I'm going to try and trudge through the rest of this fic...maybe it can be salvaged with a good editor.
~Ariin
EDIT:
I...jesus christ, I thought maybe a good editor of a good rewrite would make this tolerable or perhaps fix it...like...whether you intended it for comedy or not, this is trash. The pacing is...is it even right to call it pacing? Aside from the grammatical problems...just...gods I can't even bring myself to criticize properly. This story desperately needs an entire rewrite. It could be an interesting story if somebody with decent storytelling capabilities were to rewrite it...but...gods I need to go lie down, I think my brain is hemorrhaging.
denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw10622_medium.jpg
a good fist chapter
hummmm
hummm
he he mmmm
hummmm
hummmm
Dude, what the actual fuck. What?!
My eye is twitching madly... there are no words do describe the inadequacy and cliché of this chapter. First, he dies, which is already overused enough, then he gets the mysterious asshole treatment, which is overused even MORE than death, and then he goes to Equestria. Not to mention the psychopath cliché, which I won't get started on. The spelling, and on occasions, grammar is atrocious, and can only be saved by major editing, and this plot will most likely develop more holes than Swiss cheese. Goodbye, and adieu, because, this story isn't my cup of tea.
4033736 OMG UPVOTE TIMES 1000000000000000000
down vote for bad spelling
I haet splelling an germmer tow
img.memecdn.com/grammar-nazis-start-crying-when-they-see-your-posts_o_334445.gif
thAt gRammar tHo
adn aslo teh spleilng si os abd taht I dno't eevn konw waht aer yuo tlaknig abuot.
See what I did there?
huh....moving on.
I like it, pure eye cancer with a side of plot holes and a tall glass of poor grammar. I really enjoy your cooking.
That said, I'm not touching this story, just the short description was bad enough for me thank you.