...Everything Must First Be Lost
...Everything Must First Be Lost
April 22nd 2012
Two birds with one stone. Or, in this case, two ponies with one email.
I tossed and turned uncomfortably in my sleeping bag. Despite it being very late, I was still wide awake with the events of the previous day swimming relentlessly through my mind. Trying to fall asleep had proven to be futile, so I had given up. Instead, I thought back to the email I had received.
Assuming that DragonLS hadn’t been pranked, it appeared that Applejack was in the hands of someone he had met online by the name of Garrett_Houser. This Garrett bloke apparently had been in contact with someone named The Silverness, who was the current companion of Rainbow Dash, if Garrett was to be believed.
Obviously, there was always the chance that it was a hoax. Messing with people’s emotions online wasn’t exactly a new talent, but I had a feeling these people were the real deal. Especially since Dragon’s email pointed out that he had met Garrett in none other than the pony fiction site’s IRC - the same IRC in which I’d discovered every other person I knew of who had found a pony.
The email hadn’t said anything about their locations, only that DragonLS had found the two ponies and that he had been in some sort of fight at a club. I couldn’t even begin to imagine how Princess Celestia, a ruler of an entire kingdom who was at least a thousand years old, would have reacted to that. I’d have to remember to ask about it later when I responded to the email. The Equestrians and I had been so excited to hear the news about Applejack and Rainbow Dash that Pinkie had thrown a party on the spot, so there hadn’t been time to respond. I didn’t mind, though; I considered finding the two ponies to be an early gift.
Rolling over, I stared at the wall clock, which read half-past midnight. I sighed gently, rolled back over, and closed my eyes.
Happy birthday, old man, I thought to myself as sleep finally began to overtake me.
I was awoken not by sound, as had been the case of the previous few mornings, but by smell. I slowly opened my eyes, but was immediately forced to shut them as they began to sting and water. It only took a split-second for my mind to register what had woken me up: smoke.
Alarmed, I sat bolt-upright and quickly found the source of the smoke - my kitchen. Thankfully, it wasn’t on fire. It seemed that my breakfast had been, however, as Fluttershy appeared in the doorway. She was wearing long, pink silk pyjamas and brandishing a plate of blackened... something.
“Oh good, you’re awake!” she beamed, holding the plate out to me. “Pinkie and I thought it might be nice for us to make you breakfast for once. I hope you don’t mind.” She looked down at the plate as I took it from her. “Um, it might not be quite how you like it. I’ve never really cooked anything other than soup before - I usually just make salads, but Pinkie assured me I did a great job.” The last sentence was emphasised with a bashful smile.
Upon inspection, it seemed that my breakfast had once been bacon, eggs, and possibly a bit of... hash brown? I wasn’t certain, as most of it seemed to have somehow melded together.
Pinkie emerged from the kitchen at that point and met my eye. She moved in close and pointed at the plate.
“Wow, Fluttershy sure did a great job,” she observed, leaning in very close. “Isn’t that right, Douglas?” The last sentence was said with a terrifying combination of extremely sweet voice mixed with an outright glare that seemed to dare me to disagree.
“Too right,” I said, knowing not to argue. I emphasized the point by grabbing the fork and shovelling some of the ‘food’ into my mouth.The taste of greasy ash and charcoal threatened to make my face scrunch up like a pony’s, but I summoned every ounce of manhood I possessed and managed to not only keep from grimacing, but to also swallow with a polite smile. “It’s...” I began, but had to swallow again before continuing. “It’s good.” My voice rose to an unnaturally high pitch on the last word.
Fluttershy’s aqua eyes absolutely sparkled with joy. She hopped in place excitedly for a moment, then said, “I’ll go get plates for the others!” and disappeared back into the kitchen.
I glanced up quickly at Pinkie with a look of concern on my face, then shook my head slowly, pleading. She responded with another glare and pointed at the plate. I raised my eyebrows and mouthed “No,” but she wouldn’t relent.
It was a complete mystery how Fluttershy could make such amazing looking salads in the show and yet completely destroy bacon and eggs. Perhaps she was still getting used to hands, or maybe she was just hopeless with fire. Whatever it was, it did not bode well for me as she returned with plates of what were probably once eggs and hash browns for Pinkie and herself. Angel, on the other hand, would probably be safe with yet another salad. Bloody rabbit.
“So, what’s the plan for today, captain?” Pinkie asked as we sat down at the table. Clever girl, that Pinkie. The more talking we did, the less time we had for eating.
“Well,” I said, putting down the fork that had very nearly made it to my mouth, “I was actually planning on relaxing today. We have the Crusaders arriving in a few days, and we know that Princess Celestia is safe. Rainbow Dash and Applejack seem to be taken care of, so that just leaves Twilight Sparkle, Rarity, and Princess Luna.”
“And Discord,” Pinkie added just in time to avoid eating. My stomach began to feel quite ill and it wasn’t just because of the smell of smoke.
“Don’t remind me about him,” I said. While we would eventually need to deal with him, I much preferred the idea of doing it after we reunited all of the ponies.
“It’s awful,” Fluttershy said, staring down at the table.
I reached out and put a hand on her shoulder. “It’s not so bad. We’ve found most of your friends, and we’ll take care of Discord as soon as...”
“No,” she interrupted and motioned toward her plate. “This food is just awful.” She sighed. “I’m sorry, I guess I’m not very good at making this.” She picked up her plate and looked over to me. “At least you seem to like it. Would you like the rest of mine?”
“Umm....”
“IT’S YOUR BIRTHDAY!?” Pinkie suddenly exclaimed, jumping up onto the table and scattering its contents everywhere. I would find out later that this was intentional. “Why didn’t you say so!?”
I took a moment to get my heart settled back down. “Get off the table, Pinkie,” I said, helping her down. “And how did you find out about my birthday? Are you getting your Pinkie Sense back or something?”
Pinkie giggled and hopped over to the fridge, where she pointed at something. “It’s written down on your calendar right here. That’s what this thing is, right? We have them back home, except some of the names are different.” She pointed to April 22nd. “And all the dates are crossed off up until this one, and it says ‘Doug’s Birthday’ on it right there.”
I shrugged. “Well, I was supposed to be relaxing after a week of camping today. I guess I didn’t really have anything planned, since the camping trip was an early birthday gift.” I looked at the girls. “Besides, more important things have come up.”
Pinkie’s eyes widened. “Nothing is more important than celebrating somepony’s birthday!”
This was a pony who had helped to save Equestria on multiple occasions, faced down dragons and the spirit of chaos, and was now trapped on a different world in a body that wasn’t hers. Somehow, my birthday had become the most important thing to her at that moment and, somehow, I wasn’t all that surprised. I looked up and saw Pinkie staring at me expectantly, then rolled my eyes.
“Fine. We can have another party.”
Evening had rolled around by the time the party finally started to die down. The entire day had been a blur of food, laughter and fun as Pinkie set up a fantastic assortment of games and activities for us all to engage in.
The fun had been topped off with the viewing of the My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic season finale, which consisted of two episodes and happened to be released that very day. I had managed to find a good 1080p version of it on YouTube, and we’d sat on the chaise and discussed the events as they occurred on-screen. The credits were rolling now, and we eagerly discussed what we had seen, minus Angel who had left to pick up some more Coke from the petrol station across the street from my apartment.
Of particular interest was the villain who had been introduced. I held up the strange toy that had been left at the Burrinjuck park bathroom by ‘F.A.’ so that the girls could see.
“So this is Chrysalis,” I said, examining the figure. “I had completely forgotten all about this little toy until I saw her in the episode.” I leaned over and handed it to Pinkie. “I think this was meant for you.”
Pinkie took the figure and set it down next to the Mane Six toys I had bought for her. “Who did you get this from?” she asked. “I don’t think we’ve been to a toy store recently...”
I pondered the question. I still had no idea who F.A. was, or why this person would have a toy of a character that hadn’t even been revealed yet.
“I honestly don’t know,” I admitted.
“Okie dokie,” Pinkie said, seemingly satisfied. She looked over at Fluttershy and gasped. “What’s wrong, Fluttershy?”
Fluttershy had been strangely quiet during the episodes, much more so than usual. She was now pale, clutching a pillow, and visibly shaking.
“Christ, you alright?” I asked, standing up and moving to sit beside her. “What’s wrong?”
Fluttershy turned to face me and I saw that her eyes were brimming with tears.
“Sh-she’s n-not like that at all...” she whimpered, her eyes darting back and forth wildly. Her breathing was short and rapid, and she jumped back suddenly when I put a hand on her shoulder.
“Hey, hey...” I said quietly. “It’s alright, nothing here is going to hurt you.” I looked over at Pinkie hoping that she knew what was going on, but her attention was on Fluttershy.
“She did though,” Fluttershy whispered. “She hurt me... she hurt the others.” She looked up me, her pupils wide, “It was horrible...”
I looked back to Pinkie, whose eyes seemed to be looking at something distant. A moment later, she seemed to snap out of it and smiled gently at Fluttershy.
“There, there. All of that is in the past, and besides - we won in the end, didn’t we?” Pinkie put a hand on Fluttershy’s knee. “Cadance and Shining Armor used that amazing love shield spell-thingy of theirs and knocked that mean old Chrysalis right out of Equestria, along with all her little changeling minions. They won’t be messing with us again and besides, we’re supposed to be having fun right now. It is a birthday party, after all!”
Fluttershy sighed again and looked away. “I know, it’s just...” She didn’t finish, but continued to stare at the floor.
Pinkie suddenly hopped off the couch and sat on the floor in front of Fluttershy. “Hey, remember when that changeling did that terrible impression of me and I bucked it through a fence?” she asked.
Fluttershy nodded absently. Pinkie leaned in closer.
“Do you remember the look on its face, how it’s tongue was kind of hanging out of its mouth and its eyes were all wibbly-wobbly?” Pinkie continued. “And then there was Applejack! Remember how she jumped onto one of the changelings and rode it around the palace courtyard like she was in a rodeo?”
Fluttershy gave a little smile at that.
“Wasn’t it funny when Chrysalis suddenly realized what was about to happen to her?” Pinkie was on a roll now. “Remember that silly look that she made right before she got blasted out of Equestria?”
That got a small giggle out of Fluttershy. Pinkie crouched on the floor like a cat preparing to go in for the kill.
“And then there was that changeling that tried to pounce on you, but you totally ducked just in time and it went sailing over your head and into the fountain! Remember that?”
“Um, yeah...”
“PINKIE IS FASTER THAN CHANGELINGS!” Pinkie screamed as she pounced directly onto Fluttershy, whose scream of terror soon melted into a fit of giggles once she realized she was safe.
I couldn’t help but laugh. The look on Fluttershy’s face had been spot-on to what she looked like in the show when she was frightened. Pinkie looked over at me and narrowed her eyes.
“Are you laughing at my friend?” she asked.
“Me?” I asked dumbly. “It’s not like tha...”
“PINKIE AVENGES HER FRIENDS!” she yelled as she suddenly changed position and pounced on top of me, pinning me to the chaise and giggling hysterically.
My breath was knocked out of me, and I had a difficult time getting it back because I was trying to laugh as well. Never in my life would I have imagined that I’d be pounced on by Pinkie Pie, or that she’d utter such a ridiculous phrase as she did it. I kept trying to get up, but Pinkie was staring at me with a silly grin on her face that just ended up making me laugh more.
There was so much laughter, in fact, that I never heard the footsteps ascending the stairs outside my apartment. I did, however, notice the distinct rattle of keys just outside my door.
I didn’t give Angel my keys...
I leaned forward just in time to see the door slowly swing open. Standing in my doorway was a gorgeous woman with long brown hair and grey eyes. She was wearing a long black skirt with a black and white striped top, and in her hands was an Applejack plush toy and a balloon with the words ‘Happy Birthday’ on it.
Her name was Victoria, and we had been married for ten years.
“Oh hello, care to join us?” Pinkie beamed from her spot atop of me. “The fun’s only just starting!”
Victoria took a hesitant step inside the apartment and her eyes met mine, where they lingered for a moment before looking at first Pinkie, and then Fluttershy, both of whom were still clad only in pyjamas.
“What...” she began to ask, her throat tight. She looked all around the apartment, then back to Pinkie, and finally settled her gaze back upon me again. The plush Applejack fell to the floor as her hand moved up to cover her mouth. I could see her tears forming from across the room.
Victoria was supposed to be in Cairo with her mother, and wasn’t due back for another two months. It had been my hope that I could get the Equestrians back to their home before she returned, but that hope - along with many others - had just been crushed. She apparently had meant to surprise me by coming back home on my birthday. Mission accomplished.
It was a no-win situation. I knew damn well what the situation looked like, with a half-dressed Pinkie practically straddling me on the chaise and a barely-dressed Fluttershy sitting nearby. I also knew that there was absolutely no hope of Victoria believing the truth. My wife was the kind of person who would require further study even if Pinkie suddenly jumped up and clung to the ceiling, though a part of me was hoping that Pinkie would do just that.
The truth wouldn’t set me free in this case, which meant I would have to think of a lie. But if I stopped to think of a lie, it would seem as if...
“No,” Victoria said quietly. She repeated with some more force, shaking her head. “No, don’t you dare sit there trying to think up some kind of excuse for this.” Her voice was shaking and angry as tears ran down her face. “In fact, don’t even say anything. Just get your things and get out. Now!” The last word was emphasized by the removal of her wedding band, which was hurled in my direction and landed on the floor.
My heart pounded against my chest and I closed my eyes, fighting to keep them dry. The worst thing about it all was that there truly was nothing that I could say. Every situation that I could think of that played through my head all had the same result. I clenched my teeth for a moment, took two unsteady breaths, and addressed the girls.
“Get your things. We need to leave,” I whispered.
Fluttershy, who had been cheered up only moments ago, was in tears once more.
“But... what did I do?” she asked, but I held up a hand and shook my head. She stood up and disappeared quickly into the bedroom to get their meagre belongings.
Pinkie crawled off of me and stood up, looking back and forth between my wife and I. Though I tried to silently warn her, she spoke anyway.
“You know, I think you’d look a lot happier if you had just joined us,” she said to Victoria with a hopeful grin.
“Get out of my apartment right now you bitch,” Victoria responded, her face still streaked with tears.
Pinkie gasped, clearly shocked. I had to struggle to remain quiet. Every part of me wanted to defend Pinkie and clear up what was a horrible misunderstanding, but I knew that if I said anything at that moment I would never get a chance to make things right again. It was the only bit of hope that I could hold onto, that someday I might be able to come back to my wife.
Fluttershy returned with the clothes packed into a small suitcase. My wife eyed the suitcase curiously, but remained silent. With nothing left for us there, I bent down and picked up my wife’s wedding band, which I put into my pocket. I then made my way to the door with Pinkie and Fluttershy in tow.
I let the girls out and stopped at the doorway. I wanted to say something. Someday you’ll understand or It’s not what you think. I wanted to reach out and sweep my wife up into a warm embrace. To kiss her.
But none of that happened. I looked into my wife’s eyes and held her gaze for a long moment, then turned around and walked out of my apartment for the last time.
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WOOT! New chapter!
Well, shit. Right in the feels, man!
I have a strange fascination with these moments where everything goes from a happy, complacent scene where "nothing" could possibly go wrong, to the ironic, serious scene in which "nothing" becomes a gut-wrenching, depressing "something". My heart personally shattered at that point; deep and engaging. Kudos to you for writing this chapter so well.
CELESTIA DAMMIT!
why does the universe like fucking up shit?
2064473
How could you be wooting?! He just lost his wife!
Damn. Right in the feels, as I'm sure many others will echo.
Le wild chapter!
Almost done reading -Enter New character!-
Finish reading -Exit new character?-
2065418 Victoria will be around, though it remains yet-to-be-seen whether she'll allow Doug back into her life.
2065427I blame nonsensical explanations and unreasonable wives!
2065459 You should see the real Victoria - There is absolutely no winning an argument with her.
I hope she doesn't read this.
Not even a "I know you aren't going to listen to anything I say right now, and if the tables were turned I wouldn't either, but I can promise you I have an explaination for this. We'll talk later," before walking out the door?
Because I know the first thing I'd do the next time I talked to a person who had done what Doug just did to Victoria, would be to ask why the fuck didn't you say anything.
2065720 I'd be knocked flat on my ass by her if I tried to pull that.
So no. None of that happening.
Well, you know her best.
I take silence, and by extension not defending yourself, to be an admission of guilt. I do love a spirited debate, although in this particular case emotions might turn that talk into an arguement.
After a bit of self reflection, I just came to the realization that I ended a relationship because we never got into any debates. I guess I just love being challenged. Hmm.
2065750 Pretty much.
Just like I mentioned in the chapter - there was no win for me in that situation at all. I took the path that would lead to the least amount of pain for everyone involved.
Damn. Least amount of pain? What hurts like the knife in my heart right now?
That's why you don't just take 2 girls to your house if you're married.
Either way this s great chaptah, ah reckon it done gun' made me feel all sad like a tree in a bright autumn day. Sheeeeit it even made mah heart skip fer a second thar. And I reckon you just fucked yerself over slorg, BIG TIME
Shocking development!
It seems like game over for Doug!
I'm looking forward to what you've planned for the next chapter
"For It All To Come Together... Everything Must Be Lost."
Uh oh, ominous chapter title? Everything going relatively okay for the most part? Sounds like something bad is on the way.
Oh Pinkie, you thought you were helping... A for effort
I predict, after the situation is fully explained to the ponies (awkwardness and guilt abound) that Pinkie escapes from whatever motel Slorgy will stay at to go and try to make up with Victoria. I imagine hilarity and/or further sads shall ensue.
Maybe a longstanding theory I've kicked around will come to pass, that Slorgy will give Victoria some space and time to work things out (incidental to the theory) and head to the States with Pinkie and Fluttershy instead of the Crusader going to Australia, seeing as how the majority of the other ponies are in the States. I know it was said that he can afford to send over the cmc, but it'd just be far too inefficient to either bring everypony to Australia from their current relatively close proximities, or to bring the CMC to Australia and then BACK to the US (especially now that he doesn't have the means to house 11 ponies plus himself for the time being).
This was looking like a typical fun, jokey chapter and then...
BAM Shit just got serious...and all of the manly tears were shed
2066455 This is just the beginning of what might turn into a very, very rough stretch for Doug, the girls, and Angel. I like that you're thinking ahead like that, too. It's going to be kind of hard to house that many ponies when you don't have a home.
Hoooolleeee crap. Oh CRAP crap crap. Craaaap.
That's pretty much all that went through my head. Things are about to get dicey for the gang, and I imagine John's not going to like the news much either. What happens next...? Only time will tell.
Loved Fluttershy charring the breakfast, and Pinkie's oh so tactful methods to dispose of it.
And Angel's still across the street? Don't forget him!
shit just went down
2066526 Cool, I actually got one right, maybe! That usually doesn't happen .
It's okay, in the end, when the giant rainbow of doom and friendship engulfs the planet in its fiery tolerance beams, banishing Discord back to wherever the heck he came from and undoing all his zaniness, all will be happy again
And maybe after all is cleared up after this long rough patch, Victoria will actually accept Pinkie's offer to join them! Nothing like getting tackled by Pinkie Pie to make you feel good about everything
Oh she just did not say that...
25.media.tumblr.com/895cecc55f41c7dc63b42baf577622cf/tumblr_mfbizkIIC31ryu3g1o1_250.gif
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
first rule of anime....you WILL be caught in the most comparmising position the moment someone that loves you decides to show up.
2068869
Dude, she just caught her husband seemingly preparing to have sex with two gorgeous young women she had never seen before in her life. I don't think you'd care for soft words at a moment like that. I know I wouldn't.
2069822 You know... I'm probably the only man in existence who could be in this situation, and have my wife throw the cake in my face, and then say that I couldn't eat any until she'd cleaned it all off.
... Yeah. The few girls I've ever had anything close to an intimate moment with are girls that would more than likely rape me if it meant making sure I wasn't cheating on her. In other words, they're as crazy as I am, but not afraid to cross social bounds.
But seriously. I don't think I could ever hit a girl. Not even in self-defense.
In all seriousness, though, would your wife be like that if this actually happened?
I'm only saying this to troll you, Slorg but.... Silver can't drop the f-bomb but you can use the b-bomb?
Lol! Loved the chapter, man! Keep it up!
2070134 Eh, female dog, female pony.
She was close enough, and closer than she thought!
you should make that Doug explains everyhting
Australian women. The deadliest thing on the whole damn continent. THIS is why I still have yet to take a mate. Perhaps that dream I had was a message...*Goes off to prepare to live in Russia*
In all seriousness, though, the best sentence to say would be "Sorry for the cliche, but this isn't what it looks like" Or rather, the sentence I would select. Soo...Maybe not the best on an emotional level (I've given up on being human, Asimov's three laws FTW!) However, after Pinkie had spoken, a facepalm would be better.
2069946 I discussed the idea for this chapter with the real Victoria (or Vicky, as I usually call her - I use 'Victoria' to separate the two a little more) before actually introducing her into the story.
Her first reaction to hearing "You're going to catch me in a compromising position with Pinkie Pie" was "Threesome time!"
It might have worked if this was clop.
2076330
Honestly, the two girls who've ever shown interest in me (where it was mutual) would probably go for a threesome as well. 
... In fact, when I told them that I wasn't really interested in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship (since it was only 8th grade at the time, not even High School yet), they actually met up, and tried to think of ways to get me to date them.
Needless to say, they were still dating last I saw them.
Yeah. I got them to go full lesbian. In 9th grade they told me they weren't interested anymore, so... yeah. 
Missed that one, eh?
;(
Well...
That DEFINITELY put a damper on my mood, not to mention the mood on the story...
2088093 Full list of PonyFall stories - click here
As for Lyra - her fate is unknown at this time (for the readers, anyway). It will be revealed after this main PonyFall story arc.
well shiyat
Oh man, sucks for Doug. I don't want to be mean or anything, but when that happened, my smile became a Pinkie smile!
WHAT A TWIST! 
2095224 I do enjoy putting my characters through Hell - and that includes myself.
static.fjcdn.com/pictures/Map_836761_1255072.jpg
This picture highlights Australia's many "features", or dangers. Whatever you want to call them. But i still don't understand... Why are women not plastered on this picture?
B.t.w. I'm wedged somewhere between Poisonous snakes and Backpacker murderers. We got more of the fromer here though. And dangerous women.... *i swear, she just flipped that cow with one hand
*...
Wait, did I miss where Victoria was mentioned earlier, or was that introduction completely out of nowhere?
HOLY FUCK DUDE WE HAVE THE SAME BIRTHDAY! APRIL 22ND! AND WE ARE BOTH AUSSIE! WIN!
These last lines.
Now my heartstrings are pulling at the rest of my body like a black hole.
I also think they should've waited for Angel to return. The likeliness of Victoria believing this story would have risen for sure.
There will also be a question on your user page by me once I've read your part of Ponyfall. Still some to go, but I'll ask anyway.
Dragon
Suddenly...
...Out o Contextedness!
mmmmmm
2076330
. 
...uuhhh
Excuse me for a second while I search google for hot pony thre- I mean Pony threads about unexpected situations
Yeah that's... what I'm gonna do.... research pony threads.
Hey, we have the same birthday, that's pretty exciting!
Or at least it was going to be exciting until you hit me straight in the feels with that ending...
. I honestly don't know what I would do in that situation, but it probably wouldn't end well. Man why does the universe always find a way of turn things very bad very quickly when things are going good...