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Two guards overhear strange noises coming from Celestia's chambers. Upon investigating, they decide that perhaps this is worth looking into a little more.

Thanks to my editor alexmagnet for all his help!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 61 )

This is obviously going to garner likes without even being read.

Now, time to read.

3835400
My respect for you has now gotten higher for using that gif:heart:

Awesome story, man. I have a feeling you're going to hit 2k followers with this one.

“Touch… touch hooves.”

is that a Family Guy reference I smell?

Pffffttttt.

That ending...

What's with the influx of twist-end stories lately...?

~Skeeter The Lurker

3835454 That way, twist-endings become cliche, and authors can go back to writing normal endings without sounding boring.

3835428
I don't know, is it? I've heard something similar but I can't remember it exactly.

:derpyderp2: How did you find such a bizarrely appropriate image...

I can't help but feel partially responsible for the creation of this fic. If so, that would make this the third friend I've corrupted into writing Twilestia.

I ought to be feeling remorse. Remorse really should be the appropriate response. Not arousal.

... I find myself being somewhat jealous. I want to bathe with them as well. :pinkiecrazy:

i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7018249472/hDF2FEE2C/

Ah, the joys of suggestive misunderstandings :rainbowlaugh:

The chapter title practically gave away the true intention behind the private quarters :derpytongue2:

You have a specialty when it comes to making things seem sexy, and then having them be (more-or-less) innocent situations, like with your pastry relationship series! :pinkiehappy:

Is it possible to have your lungs collapse from laughing too hard?

The title of the chapter gives away the twist. Tch.~

3835424 *beats you over the head with a flyswatter*

Comment posted by DarkSonicTrail deleted Jan 24th, 2014

Don't judge me, but i did not like this story.

Why? Because you are doing what so many other authors in fimfiction are doing lately. Turning into M. Night Shyamalan.
Seriously, it was funny the first time, now it's just cliché! If you're making a story, do it as you said you would, don't try to trick the readers for comic effect because it's just getting annoying reading many stories which i THINK that are interesting but are just phonies trying to be funny.

I did not mean to come off as rude, but i think that way, so im not liking it.
But you tried hard, so im not desliking it for that matter.

COME AT ME, DESLIKES!

3838983 I can understand where you're coming from. I've read a few assumption fics and after the first one they're easy to recognize and figure out. Even so, I enjoy seeing the effort the authors put in to using just the right words to make you (and/or the characters) assume something totally off-base.

WHAT

“Come on, come on,” Blitz begged in a quiet voice, tongue sticking out of the corner of his mouth as a sheen of sweat appeared on his forehead. “Touch… touch hooves.”

I found that funnier than I should have.

Was funny the first thousand of times before... :ajbemused:

Doesn't mean it warrants a down-vote, tough... :pinkiesad2:

this was just....
xD oh my Luna :rainbowlaugh:

Wut


Hahahaha JK this was hilarious!!! Good job!!!!

*sigh* :ajsleepy:

This story would have been more original if they actually WERE having sex.
I've seen better of this "bait and switch" garbage, and I think with your talent of writing you can DO better.

3837622 do you hate everything or do we have dissimilar tastes?

I smelled the twist a mile away yet it was still very enjoyable... Good job!

I find it funny how much butthurt people are getting just because this didn't turn into clop. Come on people get a sense of humour, you don't have to jack off every second of your life.

XD Very cute, very funny :twilightsheepish:

Fucking really.

Why would you upvote this when you knew the whole story before you even read the first sentence?

Just a couple of guard’s who got a bit excited

3841047 What if they have a medical condition where they have to do just that.

3839952 I'd say it's the latter one.

Make a fic about that guard "banging that cute castle maid" :ajsmug:

3841507 It's not the destination that matters, it's the journey.

3846142 well, at least we can agree to disagree:pinkiesmile:

...God dammit Bob.

That ending was fucking awesome.

That was actually a pretty interesting reversal, haha. :yay:

3841047 The point is that the Tags are off (no romance occurs in the story), this has been done before (and better!) about a dozen times before Bob got here and most of the people who should know better than to trust Bob enjoy Twilestia are disappointed. Clopping has little to do with it. It's about not enjoying having one's time wasted when one prefers a certain pairing or flavour of yuri to a comedy. I'm not pissed off about it because I know Bob well enough, but I am disappointed he would write something so ridiculously predictable given his talent for writing clever subversions of audience expectations.

Having said that, I myself enjoyed the comedy between the two guards. I think I prefer You Know What They Say About Alicorns, which had exactly the same plot but was a little more crude and so a little more funny and was a little bit more clever with its subversions of audience expectations, but I enjoyed this nonetheless. I would love to see Blitz and Cleft make a reappearance some time.

Fuzzy, this will be removed from the shipping folder since these two are decidedly not a couple in this (I'm not tagging this as a spoiler because it's only a spoiler in the same way that Sharknado containing sharks is a spoiler). We'll be moving it to platonic, where it belongs.

As for you, Bob, you spend more time decidedly not shipping/mocking/criticizing this pairing than you do actually shipping Dislestia. Just come out of the closet as a Twilestia shipper already. :rainbowlaugh: (But srsly, I would like to read a good shipfic from you regardless of the pairing. You still haven't given me Bland Twilestia Clopfic Number 25).

3835778
Pav I wuv u 5ever! :heart:

3838983
I dunno about being too Shamalamadingdongy (and if I am, I am dearly sorry), but this was written for a writing contest so I was under the gun to get something out fast and I kind of procrastinated… so yeah, not my best work or tweest :twistnerd: but I do hope you find my other stories or new ones coming out in the future enjoyable!

3839774
Sorry, it probably would've been clop if I had been allowed, but the writing contest I entered in only said teen fics, I found out the prompt about a week late and I rushed like hell to make something half decent. And I still got last place (the coveted spoon title was finally mine!), so yeah, like before, sorry the quality wasn't too great with this fic. But I will try to get an actual Twilestia fic out in the future (pairing finally grew on me), and perhaps tackle romance in a better light with these two. :twilightsheepish:

3854977
Like before, I was under the gun, and given my past with how I feel about Twilestia fics, this was as close as I could get for a semi-serious pairing of the two. While the writing contest this fic was entered in and me rushing to get it finished is no excuse for the pretty mediocre plot, this fic was certainly a good learning experience for my future Twilestia endeavors. Also, if you reeeeeeeeally want that bland Twilestia clopfic you've been wanting for so long, get me good cover art and I'll take a crack at it. :rainbowlaugh:

3855024 Tell you what. You write me a Twilestia story and I'll write you a Dislestia one. Does that sound like a fair trade? Also, those are perfectly valied reasons excuses!

As for images I think you would specifically like (my library of images I think are good clopfic covers is huge), how about: fc00.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2012/182/c/a/____i_can_has_sleepover_________no_speech_bubbles_by_krazy3-d54xn5n.png

3855104
Bitch, it is on! :pinkiecrazy:

Well, I for one, found this rather funny, but then, being new-ish to FIMfiction, I haven't read all the other stories like this...I really liked Blitz and Cleft too...I think I saw a couple instances where Cleft's name was spelled "Ceft," so you might want to look out for that XD

I totally called Twister. Good fic!

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