Thirty five years. Been roaming Equestria from town to cloying town, looking for her. Not for lack of trying, mind you. Equestria's just that big of a place. There's only so many places left to look, though, and it'd be foolish to throw in the towel already. I'm getting close. So I'll do the same thing I did yesterday: search.
First place winner of The Writeoff Association's "A Single Moment" contest.
Featured by: The Last Roundup | Royal Canterlot Library | Equestria Daily | The Royal Guard
Reviews by: Present Perfect | Bad_Seed_72 | PaulAsaran | Titanium Dragon | Cerulean Voice
Chapters (1)
I certainly wasn't stalking your story list waiting for this to appear.
It's a touching slice of Cranky's life. Makes you wonder how close he came to giving up, especially with ponies like Lemon Stardust around to tempt him away from the quest. He could have so easily settled.
Makes you wonder how many people he left in his wake who spent the rest of their lives pining after him...
For reference, archonix was the first to favorite this, and the time difference between the story approval PM and the fav notification was roughly one minute
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Absolutely. There's a lot of other paths that could have been taken, other lives that Cranky could have lived. We have the foresight to know that he does eventually earn a happy ending. Was it the happiest ending?
Thanks for writing this. Doodle needs more love.
Oh man... The feels... THE FEELS... Knowing that she had a crush on him makes it all the worse...
(At least, that's what I'm inferring from the details. Maybe I have my shipping glasses on too tight...)
My gods how is this so under-appreciated? This is probably the most touching picture of Cranky, a character I can say I never truly appreciated. Of course, it's a kid's show, so he's not gonna be a dick, but it would be nice.
However, this Cranky. Absolutely grand. He's perfectly dull, and yet, his mannerisms are the reason we attach so well to his stories, how he holds no passion for anything but the memory of her.
A well-deserved favorite for creating a likable Cranky with a stream-of-conscience feel to the narrative. Well done.
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It might even be the happiest ending, but was it the happiest life?
I like this story. I'm left with questions, though. What's up with the tickets? Did Lemon like him? And, for a story about Cranky, an awful lot of this was about Lemon. I did enjoy this, though, because it was simple, but was written, beautifully.
P.S. Even though this, technically, doesn't have a lot to do with romance, it is the underlying plot piece that allows this story to work, so I added this to my group Romance is Magic!
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Thanks for the add!
To address your question, the envelope did contain two tickets. Also, right before Cranky informed her that he was leaving, Lemon was in the middle of making some sort of deal with him, but she got cut off. Something about Saturday.
5111801 Oh! I get it, now! She was going to ask him to go with her. She was asking him out, but then he said that he had to leave and it shocked/upset her, so she left and didn't come in to work the next day. Nice.
Man, I'm pretty sure I missed ALL the subtext the first time I read this. I don't remember the writeoff in question, but I feel the win was deserved. :3
Well that was heart-rending.
Nicely done.
Lines like this are what separate the men from the boys. Well written, Pav.
Hello!
I have a tear slowly going down my face because of this story, well played sir l, well played.
Awww, such a warming tale!
There is a road that turning always
Cuts off the country of Again.
Archers stand there on every side
And as it runs Time's deer is slain,
And lies where it has lain.
That busy clock shows never an hour.
All flies and all in flight must tarry.
The hunter shoots the empty air
Far on before the quarry,
Which falls though nothing's there to parry.
--Edwin Muir, "The Road"
P.S.--the sponsored content banner for this particular story keeps trying to get me to buy tickets for a theatrical production.
The production is titled Sex with Strangers. XD
I heard this today, and I could only think of this fic.
Absolutely wonderful story. You definitely deserved all of the accolades for this and more.
The thing is, my girlfriend and I have known each other for, oh, almost thirty years, off and on. And two years ago she sent me a facebook friend request, out of the blue, after we hadn't even spoken in a decade and...now we're an item
Those were days of roses
Poetry and prose and
Martha, all I had was you
And all you had was me...
This has been sitting on my RIL list forever. My apologies.
Interesting. I didn't know what to expect, but from Cranky? I should have. I really like how... 'solid' Cranky appears to be: all the sentimental crap in the world can't stop him from his sentimental crap. But y'know what I'd like to see? I'd like to see somepony retrace his steps and meet all those ponies that he left behind. That could make for an epic slice-of-life piece.
You know, the conflicts here are so well-crafted that I might have to do a de-construction of it.
I don't hand out many favourites, but you may have one. Bravo!
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Many thanks for the fav!
I'd love to see it
Oh my God I love this and I love you and why am I not following you right this instant there fixed
I reviewed this story!
My review can be found here.
I absolutely loved this. Probably the most satisfying portrayal of Cranky's character I've seen, and tied into canon with a wonderfully light touch. I see this story has been recognised by quite a few of the people/groups everyone knows about. Quite right, too. Wonderful stuff.
Even when the implications were sort of developed in Slice of Life, I never really thought about the potential that Franky's story had. Excellent rendition.
I think what makes this story work is the fact it never recognizes Cranky's decisions as the right thing to do. Sure, we all know that he'll eventually reunite with Matilda, but this little part of Cranky's story emphasizes the fact that he did give up a lot of things in his life to reach that point. Not just the items he pawns off or the years he spent travelling, but with characters like Stardust who clearly have feelings for him that he can't reciprocate. The fact that he doesn't catch on to her feelings by the story's end, simply calling her his "former landlady" and immediately planning to sell her theater tickets, is downright tragic. It's a case of a story utilizing canon to examine the harsh realities that an aged character had to experience; even though he may get a happy ending, it doesn't guarantee everypony else who knew him did.
Favorited for sure!