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Underrated1,752 stories ·282 members

Luna's Journey to Wal-Mart

It's that time of month again: going to the discord-ridden super-market that every alicorn privately despised. But it's Luna's turn. And she knows she won't enjoy it.
Especially the registers.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 7 )

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Twilight the unicorn

Twilight the unicorn #1 · Jan 13th, 2014 · · ·

Nice story!

TheYellowShoe

TheYellowShoe #2 · Jan 13th, 2014 · · ·

HORAY for Princess Luna! For doing what EVERY Walmart shopper would love to do (esp around Christmas time)!

Mix-Tape Mare

Mix-Tape Mare #3 · Jan 13th, 2014 · 1 · ·

It's a cute, idea, and a fun, story, but you have a very bad, habit, of constructing run-on sentences that, have multiple clauses strung, together, by lots of,"thats", and that have lots of commas, that, are misplaced, that make the prose, hard, to read and that distract the, reader, from the story, that you really, need, to watch out for.