• Member Since 8th Apr, 2013
  • offline last seen January 15th

Sharp Spark


Nothing says I miss you quite like war poetry carved in your door with a stanley knife.

E
Source

Lyra Heartstrings is a up-and-coming musician living in the quiet town of Ponyville. Her marefriend Bon Bon owns and operates Canter Candies, the town's specialty sweets shop. They've been together for years, and everypony around knows what a happy couple they are. But any relationship has its ups and downs, and it's hard to ignore every awkward moment.

Like when Lyra's ex arrives in town.
Because she thinks Lyra still has a thing for her.
Because someone's been impersonating her for the past few years.

...Bon Bon might be in trouble here.

Thanks to Einhander for pre-reading and Exuno for editing!

Now with a reading by Goombasa!

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 438 )

I love changeling fics! :pinkiehappy:

This can only be good...

Generally not too keen on changeling fics, but this is shaping up to be pretty interesting.

“Maybe I was wrong about you,” Bon Bon said airily. “Maybe you are going places. Maybe this could work after all. Things haven’t been going so well for me in Canterlot, primarily because of an insidious and completely unjust conspiracy of confectioners refusing to hire me, and—”

Funny, wasn´t the changeling supposed to be the parasitic one?
Seriously, kill off the nasty Bon Bon and leave the corpse to the Everfree´s fauna. I have the feeling nopony will miss her.

Obligatory comment: Haha! The Bon-Bon has been doubled!

Both of them were Bon Bon

Why is it that I tend to like Bon Bon better when she's a changeling and despise her as a pony? (rhetorical question)

Bon Bon the Pony will now forever be referred to as Armin Tamzarian.

You need to fix the description. You jumped into second person halfway through it, and it left me and the rest of my friends confused as to what the story was about. You started the description off about Lyra, then you switched it to second person, so me and my friends thought it was about Lyra being replaced by a changeling. But then I read chapter one (hating Bon Bon right now after reading both chapters) and found out it was Bon Bon who was replaced.

Spoiler alert: I know how this story ends, and it's wonderful. :pinkiehappy:

3781350
Oh! I wasn't sure at first what you meant, but you're talking about the story description itself. (Seriously, those are kind of the worst to have to write.) Let me think about it and try to rephrase.

3781378 Bon Bon on fire off the shoulder of Orion?:rainbowhuh:
.
.
.
.
Because I think that was in Blade Runner... but it would be a wonderful ending!:pinkiehappy:

3781429
I think the confusion is because the way you have it written now, the first pronoun ("her") refers back to Lyra, and because the description of "marefriend" is specifically applied to Bon Bon, it's ambiguous as to whether the subsequent "(pronoun's) marefriend" references also refer to Bon Bon as well (in which case, the "you" in "your marefriend's ex" means Bon Bon's ex, not Lyra's), or whether we've switched perspectives so that Bon Bon is now the subject of the sentence, and the "you" in "your marefriend's ex" is now referring to Lyra's ex.

To solve this, switch it around, like this:

Bon Bon owns and operates Canter Candies, a specialty sweets shop in the quiet town of Ponyville. Her marefriend, Lyra Heartstrings, is a up-and-coming musician. They've been together for years, and everypony around knows what a happy couple they are. But any relationship has its ups and downs, and it's hard to ignore every awkward moment.

Like when your marefriend's ex arrives in town.

Because she thinks your marefriend still has a thing for her.

Because you've been impersonating her for the past few years.

...Bon Bon might be in trouble here.

That way, all of the pronouns obviously refer back to Bon Bon because the use of "(pronoun's) marefriend" is consistent.

And Lyra's dream of the three-way with twins came true! :yay:

3781470

You have no idea:

"I've seen things you ponies wouldn't believe." The changeling she had known her whole life as Bon Bon looked at her sadly. "Giant cake towers being eaten by a Pink Pony in one bite. I watched cookies glitter with funfetti in the oven near the Sugarcube Corner. All those moments will be lost in time... like sprinkles in frosting..." She sighed. "Time to die."

She fell off the ledge into the volcano as Lyra screamed. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

There was a sizzle and a plop. Lyra leaned over the edge, her mouth open in horror.

The rest was silence.

Thankfully, I talked Sharp Spark out of this original ending. :twilightoops:

This. Story. Is. AWESOME! :pinkiehappy:

I like Lyra, I like Bon Bon, I like changelings, and I don't care that the fake Bon Bon is a giant self-centered plotface (changeling or not, she's the fake to me).

Eagerly waiting for more of this, this has Feature Box potential. :heart:

Shoot them both! It's the only way to be sure! :trollestia:

Looks like this story.... just got featured.

For the last half of this chapter I was just thinking "Oh Shit" over and over again.

I kinda wish this had a comedy tag...

...Oh my.

Oh my indeed.

This tale you weave... I am curious.

Thank Einhander for suggesting it to me...

~Skeeter The Lurker

This...

This is going downhill for the imposter fast...

~Skeeter The Lurker

3781751 I dunno, I kind'a like the changeling better so far.

3781867

Not what I meant, bud.

~Skeeter The Lurker

3781493
Could be worse. We could have another Lyra show up. As in this one is actually the Lyra from the Mirror World from Equestria Girls. Two Lyras, two Bon Bons, and all clue as to who is saying which line goes strait out the window.

This is gonna be fun

cdn.chud.com/8/8c/8c6ddd8f_this-is-gonna-be-good.gif
I'm liking where this is going. I really like this. :pinkiecrazy:

Hmm, so Bon Bon (pony) is only in it to help herself and a changeling actually loves Lyra. This is about to get messy.

Well, this is awkward. Somepony's going to have to change. Or not, since Bon Bon is a much better Bon Bon than this new Bon Bon.

D48

Oh my god, this looks like it is going to be amazing. I really like how you have set things up here and am very much looking forwards to seeing how this pans out because it should be hilarious. I just hope Lyra knows that she has been living with a changeling because things could get messy if she does not, although the changeling will be more than capable of proving that she is the one that has been living with Lyra for years so things will obviously end well for her and the money grubbing pony will be left out in the cold.

3781349 Because changelings are adorable little bundles of love. :scootangel:

I decree they shall be called Bon Bony and Bonling :rainbowlaugh:

But seriously a well written fic with a dynamic storyline and a great narrative and perspective? Whats not to like! :pinkiehappy:

3781277 Yeah, that's my biggest issue with this story so far. The "real" Bon Bon comes across as so utterly devoid of any positive qualities that it strains believability - she's abrasive, obnoxious and just plain unpleasant, not to mention kind of a golddigger. Why are we supposed to care even one iota for her?

3781277

That's a bit much, though I don't much care for the real Bon Bon either.

A funny omake scene for this story could have Bon Bon's parents knowing about the imposter (Parents: We like to think of her as the nice Bon Bon) all along and even approving of her dating Lyra. Now imagine the comical expressions on the actual Bon Bon's face when her parents reveal this fact, even bringing out a separate photo album devoted to imposter nice Bon Bon.

[Meanwhile at the Bon family reunion]

Real mean Bon Bon: Okay how many ponies knew that imposter was a changeling?!

*Everyponies hooves go up as real mean Bon Bon's jaw hits the ground before she starts screaming obscenities*

Nice Bon Bon: Everypony knew?

Random family member: We knew you weren't the actual Bon Bon from the first reunion you attended, though we didn't know you were a changeling until after those other Changelings tried to invade Canterlot. But we still love ya honey.

*Most of the other family members loudly voice their agreement while ignoring mean Bon Bon's screaming*

All of these comments complaining about the real bon bon being unlikeable... what if I told you that it might be the author's intent? Maybe she's not supposed to be likeable.

3782680

Why are we supposed to care even one iota for her?

Obviously not :ajbemused:
... At least not right now anyway:ajsmug:
lets just keep reading

she's abrasive, obnoxious and just plain unpleasant, not to mention kind of a golddigger

Seeing as she's a background character with (pun definitely intended:pinkiehappy:) no background her personality can be anything the writer wants.
But I love how this could be a thing, watch this video about her scenes and pay attention to the one in rarity's shop.

has lived in ponyville all this time and doesn't know rarity? is abrasive and unpleasant? Voice always different?
Changelings! Changelings Everywhere!:trollestia:

3781180
Well I love them
) This Much (
:ajsmug:

Ah a Changeling that's crushing on Lyra. :rainbowlaugh: Course I think the real Bon Bon needs to pay a visit to Alter-Pinkie....:pinkiecrazy:

3782923

They didn't have

"Mine has rocks in it!" in the vid

3783149 the rarity shop scene was the one I was looking for, but couldn't find only that so I pick the first comp I found that had it :derpytongue2:

3782764

Mean Bon Bon: And Nopony thought to inform me? Or the Royal Guard?

Mom: Well, it's not our fault you felt you were too good to come to the family gatherings.And by the time of the invasion, well...

Dad: She was kinda like another daughter to us. She came to us for advice on things-

Mom: Helped your dad that month he broke his leg

Granny Bon: She always made time to visit me every other week at the home

Twist: Thee even taught me how to make thweets :twistnerd:

MBB: ...And who are you?

NBB: She's your little sister...

Sun Princess Institute for Culinary Excellence

I see what you did there. :ajsmug:

My Chemical Romanticore. They play, um, experimental lo-fi synthwave noisepop.

Well that's it. I'm sold, and it's only chapter one.

3782923 I'm not saying this is out of character or not possible; it's just not very much fun to read about. And when we're just two chapters in, with basically only three characters appearing, not having any incentive to care about one of those three is an issue, although definitely not an insurmountable one. I'll just wait and see where this goes; at this point, this could become anything, from a tale of redemption to a dark comedy of humiliation.

Don't really get the complaints about the bitch Bon Bon. There's nothing wrong with having a shithead antagonist with slight moustache twirling tendencies. I'm also pretty sure that we're going to get plenty of reason to dislike her even more in the following chapters.

RC

Wellllll, shnit. Bonnies screwed.

I'm reminded of Mendacity (not that's a bad thing, mind you; I loved that one) and I'm curious to see where this one heads.
You have my eye, good sir/madame.

3784706
High praise indeed! I can't say that I have any plans to match that story's ambition... But hopefully this should be a fun little ride that hits some feelings along the way.

Wanna see my Headcanon? It's very good headcanon.
25.media.tumblr.com/1c2244fa0af578bc91e366be965700f5/tumblr_mq46440DBx1rxzaoho1_1280.png
♫ Meet Sweetie, who’s lived most everywhere
From Vanhoover to Baltimare
But Bon-Bon’s only seen the sights
A mare can see from Ponyville Heights ♪

A really weird family reunion!

eta: for those of you who wondered, left-to-right: Bonnie, Bombe, Bon Suite, Bonelle, Bon-Bond, Bonita, Sweetie Drops, Bon-Bon (and, of course, Lyra).

OH SH*T SON!!! Now it gets interesting!:pinkiehappy:

3782923 I always thought they were triplets (3 bonbons and 3 different sounding bons) and each one are very unique in personality and likes. One is even seen trotting by with her stallionfriend, apparently, who just passes by her sister whose walking towards Lyra at the market place to meet up with Lyra, in Putting Your Hoof Down.

It's hilarious how many different bons there are. In fact, Egophiliac took that to a whole new level with there being like 9 or more Bons, I don't think it was fully established how huge that family of Bons are but there is a HUGE number I believe. Totally worth checking out that tumblr with Pinkie and the Cakes.

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