Blu-Ray Bonus: The Unofficial Punchline
Deep in the caverns beneath Canterlot, in a grotto where the hoof of pony had never trodden, sharp spars of gleaming crystal stood silent watch over a pool of glass-clear water. The phosphorescent blue glow of the pond sent shimmering ripples of light twinkling around the gem-lined walls as another droplet of water, gathered with geologic patience at the tip of a stalactite above the pool, burgeoned and fell, leaving behind one more tiny cluster of stone molecules on the ancient growth.
For hundreds of thousands of years the silence of the cave had been broken only by the occasional tectonic rumble and the steady, hourly drip of the water.
Until there came a day, late in the second year of Luna's return, that would forever be remembered in the slow, silent thoughtlike patterns of the crystal mountain as the one time anything ever happened in this chamber.
At first it sounded like a distant breeze, echoed from some dark connected tunnel. But it repeated, again and again, growing louder each time; a noise like some giant creature having trouble breathing, wheezing in strained exhalations, but never breathing in, just a steady voosh-voosh-VOOSH.
As the sound got louder, an object began to be present. It faded slowly into view, transparent at first but growing more opaque with each heaving whoosh, until the sound faded away and a rectangular blue box stood on the pearlescent sand beside the pool as though it had always been there. It was about eight inches tall, three or four inches on each side. Square shapes like windows had been drawn crudely with marker on each of its faces, and written across the top as an identifier was the only word the box's previous owner knew.
With a metallic click, the front of the box popped open and swung outward, tracing a quarter circle in the sand.
A grey-furred head poked out from within the box. Mad red-and-yellow eyes looked around cautiously. Nopony in sight. Not even the faintest whiff of any living creature. Perfect.
The Discord doll didn't so much walk as flow, body trailing like a serpentine decoration out onto the sand. With a bright grin he snapped his fingers, surrounding the two pony dolls inside the box with a green aura as he spent a fraction of his precious power reserve towards something completely frivolous. It wasn't tactically sound, but really, sometimes one just has to be oneself, even if one technically wasn't.
The brown earth pony and the grey pegasus stepped out of the box, giving the crystalline chamber and their patchwork master curious stares. The replica Draconequus cracked the knuckles of his mismatched forepaws and chuckled.
"Welcome aboard, my little ponies," he said in a voice smooth and charming as a radio announcer made of butter. "I suppose you're wondering why I've called you into existence today. It's simple; I've got a lot of work to do, and it's just not the same without minions to exposit for. If you'd like to continue existing, all you need to do is whatever I say. Got it?"
The ponies nodded. Neither of them felt entirely up to speed, but the gist was clear enough.
"Goooood. Now then, our first order of business is to find a nice reliable wellspring of natural magic..."
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Lol. Quintuple update after 6 months.
You're the best.
Five updates at once?
So much for going to bed early...
*gasp* yay!
Bada bing!
Even I can't believe it's done. I keep flipping through the chapters to make sure there aren't any gaps left.
1878975
Nopony expects the spammish post submission.
Brought up your entire chapter reserve huh? Well played.
Silver out!
And suddenly, update.
1879113
I believe they more commonly use the Metric Buckton.
1879160
Intriguing! Curiously enough, while brainstorming parts of this story I frequently found myself coming up, instead, with scenes for a much Sad-tag-heavier one that seems likely to be my next FIM production. Clearly, MLPLP is crying on the inside.
Oh my! Not quite dead are you? Better start reading...
I'm just wondering though if we will see the mini Mane 6 again, they were never cleaned up and mini Discord is still on the loose.Maybe the little versions absorbed all the ambient magic and rehid themselves
I loved those little guys 
1879282
Oof, there was supposed to be a line in there showing them inanimate again... but now that you mention it, maybe I should just leave it unspecified. Muwahaha.
1879276
3.bp.blogspot.com/_25FKJUwRSNk/TOZE3uCwlXI/AAAAAAAAAKU/kmnnjBRKa7A/s1600/Image2.jpg
1879307
Ooh, I smell an interesting spinoff with Mini Mane 6 adventures
Hell, the mini EoH may have given them "life" persay
1879324
Not beyond the realm of possibility, I s'pose. But for the record, I'm not staking an exclusive claim on that story prompt, hint hint.
1879399
Thankee kindly m'dear! You wouldn't believe the degree to which that chapter, and in consequence much of the rest of the story, was shaped around the desire to produce that specific moment.
Only Sweetie Belle could turn a simple act of cooking into summoning an eldridch horror from beyond.
Only Twilight Sparkle could turn a simple teaparty with little dolls into a world-ending magipocalypse.
I encourage you to leave the fate of the main six dolls unspecified, this would be an awesome spontaneous shared story setting. :)
1879670
I feel immodest just for considering it a possibility, but if anyone wanted to write stories in this 'sub-setting' I'd
explode with squeebe fine with it.1878971 your profile icon XD
Wow, this story is just brilliant!
What seemed to have started as a small "just for laughs" story turned into something much more!
This is just unbelievably hilarious and cute! Well done, I say, well done.
I'll definitely be recommending this to my friends.
1880179
That's fine. I've got all these stars from Luna's mane, that ought to cover it.
1880062
*blink blink* Oh wow. Braving the Elements. I totally did not intend that. Jeepers. Don't tell anyone, I want to take credit for that joke.
Oh, he knows how to be a proper
gentlemangentlecoltdragonHe knows how to be properly genteel, but it's not his habitual mode of behavior. In this story I think he's feeling mildly nostalgic for Canterlot after the wedding.1880048
Scoots got a bit of the buttmonkey stick in the story so I figured she was due some Scootalove.
1880189
!
Up date down date it's good you're still around date.
Excellent, superb, marvelous, all redundant words when describing this story.
In fact, simply put, this story 'is'. No adjectives give it nearly as much justice as its existence does.
Well that was unexpected.
o.o
nice work
Upvote based on description.
If you can make me laugh in thirty words the actual story is probably genius.
1879837 Umm, glad you ... liked it?
images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110609164855/gyropedia/images/1/1b/130653469719.jpg
1880295 1879559
I'm killin' readers left and right here.
Muwahaha! Tell Knighty the plan is working.
1880483
Thou stokest the Royal Ego! [insert Luna icon that should exist]
1880919
Hope it bears up to expectations!
1880824
I suppose 700,000,000,000 tons probably is close to the figure I might choose if I were being serious, and of course, my headcanon must make the Equestrian Moon small enough to justify events in Much Ahoof About Nothing.
Excellent point. I try to avoid getting too 'science fictiony' in Pony worldbuilding, not because I don't like that sort of thing, but because I like it a little too much... the temptation is strong to do actual math regarding temperature and light output, apparent size in the sky etc., but that way lies madness.
Aside from that, my other contribution to the overthinking-it pool about Celestia's Sun is that any anomalies of its size and proximity can be sidestepped by claiming that Pure Elemental Fire is not the same physical phenomenon as hydrogen fusion. A more Twilightlicious way of saying it's magic, I don't got to explain pony.
1880563
Yup, like that, but with big huge blue Fluttereyes.
Okay, first, I'm really glad this finally updated. Two, This feels so much like a Discworld-MLP-fanfic it isn't even funny, and I love it. Three, I love the foreshadowing with this last epilogue. Four, the use of the Theory of Narrative Causality was brilliant, and I think I'm going to have to reread this story just to get everything out of it. Well done kind sir, and I sincerely hope we see a sequel to this.
Lovely story
i enjoyed reading it
Well it's finally over and I must say this went out with a bang.
Blue Ray sounds more like a pony's name for a Director.
Ah, Great story!
1878981 You enjoy making my insides Squirm with simultaneous Disgust and Delight, Don't you? Delight that you make these References and disgust that I get as many of them as I do
1885690 1882266 1881240
Indeed, Pratchett is probably the most influential author on my style of comedy, and of writing in general, with Douglas Adams and Mark Twain coming close behind. I should have known that burying the direct reference in a thicket of dense magic-babble wouldn't conceal it for long.
1882796 1885449 1882175
I'm very glad you liked it!
1883209
Your comment makes me wish I'd done a bit more business about Dash and 'Shy's close shave with smoochies, but as the final draft crystallized I didn't want to take too much attention away from Twilight's Oscar Moment.
1883174
At least this is the sort of story where the tentacles get bucked, as opposed to anything that sounds similar.
1885722
I? Make readers squirm with references, and enjoy it? Perish the thought.
Oh PLEASE MAKE A SEQUEL!
You simply MUST darling
Eeyup, called it
Nice work, nice work indeed good...person.
anywho, I was wondering I you would be fine with Myself and a friend of mine would be able to have your permission to do a fanfic reading of this. It will in no way, shape or form be made fun of and we will include a link back to the fanfic, a link to the video for yourself and Credited for making the fanfic, ect.
1888197
Absolutely, be my guest!
1886370>>1888256
I believe it's generally agreed on as Prance in fics, but as Splatter says, 'Shy does mention 'French' in that scene... and this line was one of the few that actually made me laugh out loud after typing it, so France it stays for the current story.
In the MLPLP version of Equestria, France is the Griffin kingdom.
1887743
No current plans for such -- it'll have to wait until I have a) an idea for a plot that is b) funny -- but neither is it an absolute no-go.
The title reminded me of The Powerpuff Girls Best Rainy Day Adventure Ever, one of my favorite PPG episodes. My expectations were high because of this, and you did not disappoint at all.
Most impressive.
You really made me laugh out loud in the middle of the night.
This story was a goddamn masterpiece
1889464
Eeyup.
1889115
Yeah, that was my favorite line. Those pony locations and then... France. Makes sense canonically as well too since French is in the Cutie Pox episode.
There's really an astounding amount of references in this fic.
Certainly wasn't expecting this joke fic to turn into something so much larger. Fun little read.
1889115 And now I've got this Mental Image of Gilda Dressed up as a Mime. Good job. Of course, It was Originally Gilda in a French Maid Outfit, Being all Overtly Romantic at Dash in French, but I beat that mental image over the head with every French stereotype I could think of umtil it changed itself so as to avoid Being Knocked out by a Croisant.
1890697
I suppose it should come as no surprise, not only that Google turned up with this on the search "Gilda griffon maid":
th04.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2011/244/9/0/fluttershy__s_revenge_by_johnjoseco-d48dn4v.jpg
but that it would be from John Joseco.
"Gilda griffon mime" came back with nothing, however.
1879282
The mini Celestia and Luna are also MIA.
A delightful surprise to see an update and conclusion, especially as one inventive as this! I also would be interested in a sequel - mini-Discord clearly needs Dealing With - should the inspiration ever strike you!
In any case, a superb piece of work!
1892064 Gasp! If I had Any Arting skill Whatsoever, I'd Rectify this Tragic Lack of Miming Griffons. Unfortunately, I'm about as artistically skilled as a Potato
You finished it
Well, I'll try to keep this short. I absolutely loved the first two chapters for their great comedy and overall episode-like mood. I do think you went a bit overboard with ze magics later on, but you still managed to keep up the great comedy. The bonus chapter actually leaves a huge potential for a dark survival-esque adventure in which The Doctor and Derpy dolls try to outsmart Discord while at the same time performing his tasks to stay alive...
Okay, it's up to you whenever you continue it or not
All in all, as far as light-hearted comedy goes, this is a damn fine example. 5/5, if I had my own rating
1897330
Ooh, you got me on that one...
Um, either:
Because the chaos magic is closer to being an elemental force -- and woven more deeply into his own essential nature -- than the structured, learned pattern of the teleport spell, allowing Discord to produce what seem like flashier effects with less energy; plus, the magic he performs 'onscreen', while it looks cool, still takes less energy in toto than is needed to teleport, at the adjusted scale, all the way from Ponyville to Canterlot in one big jump.
Or:
The Discord gag/subplot came about much earlier and 'The Unofficial Punchline' was finished before every other latter-stage chapter except the 'Epilogue', whereas the bit of business with the Princess dolls was one of the last parts written and exists only to put a spacer between two segments about Rarity and co. catching dolls; and additionally, they fell victim to the meta-joke about the Princesses falling over and doing nothing useful.
Take yer pick.
-----------------------------------------
Edit: Oooh, or a third answer that just now hit me, which... oh, dammit... makes a continuation much more plausible without having to backtrack on certain aspects of the story as published. Oh dear.
1897409
I agree about ze magics -- I did rather regret getting away from the basic purity of 'ponies play make-believe' in the latter chapters -- but the early drafts, trying to stay on the same 'special effects' level while bringing it around to a story rather than just a vignette, faltered badly both as comedy and as plot, and forced Twilight and Spike to carry major idiot balls as well.
As for a sequel, I didn't deliberately set up for one even though I was aware the ending was open, but the number of comments enthusing about the notion (and providing some most intriguing seeds of notions toward how it might proceed) are nudging it ever closer to likelihood, at least as a general future possibility. Anyway, glad you liked the story!
1898069 well, even if you're not going to write a sequel, I eagerly await more of your stories, no matter what they actually are about.
Update rate doesn't matter all that much either, since your timing allows me to dig further down the wormhole that is my 'Read later' list, but a random blog post would actually be appreciated, that way we'll know you're not dead *cough* Gravekeeper *cough*
1898097
Hehe, well, I'll try to be better about that in the future... during the later part of writing this I was just plain sheepish about poking my head up on the site at all.