• Member Since 20th May, 2013
  • offline last seen May 2nd, 2022

BurnedPigeon


Where stories are magic.

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For many countless years, the Sun and Moon have watched over the magical world of Equestria. Due to a miracle, they are given a chance to walk upon the world they gazed from afar. Join them as they see what Equestria has to offer.

The following events of this story will take place during Season 4.

Chapters (11)
Comments ( 306 )

This seems great. I can't wait to see what is the alicorns name. Also if the princesses are going to fall for them.

Finally! Lulu and Tia find their coltfriends.

Really good story. Please continue! :pinkiesmile:

Glad you like it guys! Working on chapter 2!

That was an enjoyable read. As for name of the two hmm. How about Solaire for the sun one and perhaps Máni(Old Norse moon god) for the moon one.

Okay, that was a good start my friend, Most pleasing to the eye, Keep up the good work!
I will be watching this and keeping tabs on it from time to time, I hope you can keep with this kind of authority! :D

Good Luck!

Solarion and Lunario-Solly and Ri-Ri for short?

Hum... I like the concept, but if I can make a suggestion? Be careful with the purple prose and the paraphrasing. Mostly, it was fine to start off with a description that sorta dives into Equestria from the sky and toward Celestia and Luna, but that denomination you did with "alabaster alicorn" and some phrasings were too repetitive. It detracts from the experience a bit, I would say.

Still, here's hoping to see what you have in store for us.

3778012
Thanks for the feedback, still one of my first times writing a story, especially about my favorite topic of choice; ponies! I'll progress as I continue on. :twilightblush:

3777984 You know that if you replace the n in Lunario with a c you get Lucario... Pokemon reference?

hmm interesting concept. as for names (if you still looking for some) how about daylight blaze and midnight shadows.

Gas Giant And Satellite Shine!

Guys, a mistake of mine but I forgot to mention in story description that this story takes place after Season 3, after Twilight becomes an alicorn. :facehoof:

I dunno, look into names of stars and moons that aren't ours, find some cool ones... There probably are cool/ish ones out there

Edit: That moment when literally right after you do something you have an Idea...

Sol and Penumbra

Galaxaris - Umbra.

Great idea, but might I suggest Italic for attention getters instead of quotation marks
am following.

3778515
Um... Subconscious I guess. How about Lunaris?

3780050
Thanks for the tip, I'll put that into consideration on Chapter 2. :twilightsmile:

There we go! Chapter 1 is fixed I think... :pinkiehappy:

3780297 Lunaris (loon-r-iss)
That work?

You sir I must follow you!:moustache:

NOOOOOOO! You're stopping at the good part! Darn you!

I think my favorite part is the misunderstanding about 'Thank you'. That is just comedy gold you have set up for the rest of the story.

You've really captured the otherworldly quality of these two beings.

It's so good that each chapter feels short.:raritydespair:
Eagerly waiting for more.
:trollestia:

CDR

Names:
Sun incarnate: Sol
Moon incarnate: Mon

Urg, both too short, and the second one sounds lame. Should be fun.

You could always just go with the R63 names for Celestia and Luna.

Solaris and Artemis.

I suggest Nox and Sol. Easy to remember, simple names.

I'm thinking Soloris for the sun.

Don't give them names. Let them stay as moon and sun.

I mean they have names right. Moon and Sun. You don't need something fancy to be their names. Though they have have new forms doesn't mean they are no longer what they were used to be.

P.S: Also, play the alien, otherworldly angle to fullest.

Oh my yes. This has my interest.

Only niggle I had was the use of "hoofsome"... That just sounds awkward...

Then again, I guess I will NEVER understand this fan bases insistence of removing 'hand' on everything.

Also...

"Rick" and "Bob" for the names. Because why not.

~Skeeter The Lurker

Oh my.

So... A kiss on the cheek is how they show gratitude...?

THAT won't go wrong...

~Skeeter The Lurker

Yeah.

This is too good.

Approved with joy for Twilight's Library.

24.media.tumblr.com/a257ad5165644b1f79354634dfdee284/tumblr_mqo61uYbwk1rj6vd5o1_400.png

Wear with pride, boss.

~Skeeter The Lurker

Wow :raritystarry: This looks goooooooood! One thing though - I think you mean latter not ladder??

Artemis for the male moon alicorns and Apollo for the male sun?

Nice idead for the story. Lets read.

This reads like a school assignment. No thanks.

3781015
Aye, a lot of telling, very little showing.
Much of it could even stay fairly intact if it was actually describing them, rather than sounding like a bored documentary made about them.

Well this is going to be interesting. For Name ideas, I would Say Apollo and Artemis, or Daylight and Moonlight/. Best of luck. Great story.

Well, let's hope they don't get arrested for kissing any of the CMC on the cheek. :rainbowderp:

3781015 From reading the description, I thought it might be a troll fic.

Unfortunately, it's not. :facehoof:

Duuude I see mistakes.....
THE DESCRIPTION THIRD WORD...
It's Millennia I think......

3781487
I think your right... I''ll change it right away. :facehoof:

3781723 no problem. I was just surprised that no one noticed that:rainbowlaugh:

3781739 OKAY SERIOUSLY.....
It's MILLENNIA, as millennia, NOT millenniaS....

3781754
Uhh... thanks though. :facehoof:

Sundude and Moonbro.

:rainbowlaugh:


Solar and Lucian.

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