• Member Since 3rd Oct, 2013
  • offline last seen Jan 16th, 2018

Pastel Pony


Just a girl doing her best to write semi-entertaining whatnots. I'm a female brony, not a pegasister ...Get it right.

Sequels1

E

She was easily the most beautiful pony I had ever seen.
Her tastes in entertainment and music and literature perfectly matched my own.
She made me laugh, she made me smile.
She was perfect.

I loved her for it,
and hated her for it.

But most of all, I hated myself

Continued in The Right To Love

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 21 )

Wait, as in fleur de lis? :pinkiegasp:

Wait....that's it? :raritydespair:

Comment posted by Pastel Pony deleted Jan 9th, 2014

3758864

yea...
I didn't want to make the story overly long or complex

I suppose if it became popular enough and I felt the need to, I might write a sequel.
But that's unlikely...
So...yes that's it :twilightsheepish:

3758884 *clears throat* This has to be the WORST POSSIBLE THING :raritydespair: what the fu :pinkiegasp: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM

3758901
ummmm...

ok....?:unsuresweetie:

Short, no pacing at all, and still this is one of the most relatable stories I've read. Thumbs up :pinkiesmile:

3758905 you are right to be afraid :pinkiecrazy:

I spotted a couple of errors:

I had to hace the truth...

That should be "face"

Perfect...oh, how that sacred me!

"scared"

Other than that though, I liked it. I've personally always had the headcanon that ponies don't have any problems about homosexuality (to the point that if a human showed up and tried to explain homophobia, everypony would just stand there looking bewildered), but I can appreciate a well written story, and this most certainly is good. I want to see a sequel.

Really nice and original idea
Though I did spot a few errors in spelling

Alas, unrequited love... :raritydespair:

Quite impressive. Well made, and the errors are so minor as to be overlooked. All in all, wonderful tale!

3758905 oh wait that was a conversation from another story but it fit perfectly accept for one detail, the comment on that other story was

This has to be THE worst POSSIB.....NOOOOOO we are not going THERE--> :raritydespair:

Like Mabbz, I have some difficulty with the premise (partly headcanon-based: "my" FP is a little more open-minded) and I'm not at all fond of the word "fillyfooler" anyway... but I kept on reading because the story was interesting and well written. The ending, though not the biggest of surprises, was nicely done: you didn't go overboard with the emotion, despite this being Rarity. It was well worth the read.

Okay, finally got around to reading this. I'm personally not a fan of the storytelling style, really, the narrate-y sort without conventional dialogue, action, etc. Still, for what this is, it's pretty well written, with the prose and emotions not going into histrionic overdramatics and the story saying exactly what needed to be said. I feel like this could have been really good as a longer conventionally written story, but I noticed you said you didn't want to do that, so this is fine, I suppose. Thumb up from me. :twilightsmile:

Comment posted by MLPTMNTLPS-Moving deleted Mar 22nd, 2014

An excellent story, but I noticed a grammar problem the second I started reading.

I don't know when I realized I prefered mares over stallions.

It just...happened.

First sentence: tense disagreement.

Second sentence: add a space after your ellipsis.

That's all!

I don't understand the term fillyfooler. Fillies are usually the term used for kids so it wouldn't a fillyfooler be seen as a person who fools around with fillies as in kids. I would think marefooler be the word but i guess not.......

Hmm, not sure how I feel about Fancy Pants as a blatant homophobe.

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