Page generated in 0.175 seconds
Total duration
1,072 users online
222,669 hits today, 1,799,155 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Wild Berry flavored cum? Ew.
Regardless, this was a well-written story. For something technically classified as a one-shot, this was pretty nicely paced, but not so slow as to keep those reading it only for the pony sex annoyed with the wait. A few grammatical errors, but nothing too distracting. Good job!
very saucy~
Smexy. LOL
I approve. Amazing job, writer! I was thoroughly entertained.
I can't think of anything I could complain about here...
Twilight's plan and it's execution were more then amusing and very content with it's outcome. Have all of my likes! And make more like this!
A few small mistakes-
Should be question marks.
*you're Somehow an extra r slipped in there. Tried to fuse 'your' and 'you're' together.
Need's an apostrophe.
*you're
Not bad at all.
~Skeeter The Lurker
Saw the cover art, insta-noped, and ended up reading it anyway.
Not bad, but redundant at times. Some other grammar issues as well, such as missing commas. I wouldn't mind giving you a bit of help, but I'm not about to do it without being asked. I have to agree with Clonetrooperkev about this: you need additional editing.
The dialogue is bad.
The grammar is bad.
The emotion is bad.
The exposition is flat.
The scenario was unbelievable.
This was simply gratuitous in every sense of the word.
3904842 Thankyou.
-Twhylight
Rarity: (motions to lingerie selection) Is this what you were looking for?
Twilight: Umm... I was actually looking for chains and whips and leather, stuff like that.
Rarity: To my bedroom then!
LXG
reviling in the scene
That really, really isn't the word you want there. It's pretty much the total opposite; you want "revelling".
3990462 Sweet thanks.
-Twhylight
4140610 :D
-Twhylight
4141205 I found this comment very amusing.
-Twhylight
Loved it I loled at the fifty shades of gray pun.