I (facebook page!) normally do requested artwork for others, mainly drawing their OCs. I am told that I have good stories that I am told I should right down here on FimFiction, so thats why Im here!
Inspired By the creative theories by Digibrony, Brony Curious, and Ink Rose.
When Princess Twilight Sparkle is sent back in time to learn from The younger Starswirll, She soon comes to realize why the past of Equestria was so unclear. She unearths the creation of many of the most powerful and well known things in equestria today, something she couldn't have even imagined.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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The premise is interesting, I definitely will keep reading this story. However I don't mean to offend but there are a few problems with your telling that make the story a tad clunky, but don't worry, it would appear to be because lack of experience and lack of prereaders/editors. I'd give some examples but I'm on my iPhone atm. I don't mean to nitpick, as I might not be able to create an original work any better as I'm a tad rusty with my story writing. If you'd like I can leave another comment with some examples of things I think could improve your first two chapters. Not story wise just grammatical syntax sorta stuff.
All in all I will definitely add to read later and continue to follow along. Keep up the good work.
3893180 I appreciate the feedback, but do know that this is the first long story that I have written. I do my best, but even the best stories aren't comepletly perfect. I work on these for about an hour+ every day as well, and i started working on this in mid November.
Every writer also has their own style of writing, too. I am only a sophomore in highschool too.
luna celestia you knew didn't you
4041005
MUAHAHA i have this beautiful story mapped out in my head and I'm so excited!
I shall Blow some minds when I reach my crazy moments in my story
4041358 why do i think that celestia is not born yet?
4042167 Because she and Luna aren't yet
4042606 well I believe that twilight is their mother or affected their birth somehow
4042695 Well I am planning on covering the Princess' Birth at some point in my story.
I plan on getting to things like Discord, the Princesses, and even the elements of Harmony.
But you will have to just wait and see~
You have NO idea how long I have been waiting for a GOOD Twilight x Star Swirl fic.
You have just become one of my favorite authors.
4149928 haha thank you
Though I am trying to decide if I should make the story into two parts or just one, because at some point I will probably end changing who's point of views they are at.
I had this huge head cannon in my head that I tried to explain to my friend, and It didn't work, so I was like "I SHALL MAKE THIS INTO A STORY" and tada
4150379
Technically, you already have changed its point of view. Its been on both twilight and star swirls.
And as for making it two stories, that mostly depends on what your planning. If there is a good spot for it to split, then go for it. If not, it will still be fine as one story.
hope to see more soon. To think Twilight IS Clover the Clever, it makes bloody sense~
4156867 haha I'm glad you approve of the Idea
4156875 wonder if she will be directly involved with Tia or Lulu.. or even the great faust heeerseeelf
.. hmmm nsssh.. good luck with the dragon Twilight and try not to hurt it too badly, it might be spike's dad or something
4156883 Only time will Tell
...I feel like I might have just made a bad pun.
Great chapter
I think its kinda funny how much Ember keeps hitting on Twilight.
4163290 Im glad you like him! I was worried for a while that people would get annoyed with him.
Hey, a good start! I liked the bit about raising the moon.
4168134 I just updated it
I fixed a few typos and then added some more.
Ok, this is interesting. That last line has really caught my attention.
4234063 yeah, I usually really try to end my chapters with a memorable line or a cliff-hanger, just because It's usually remembered more.
Good story. I'm really curious to see how the presence of Twilight in the past may affect it.
Can't wait the next chapter ^^
See you soon ;)
Yay! An update!
It's nice to see them all getting along.
And one thing I wanted to point out,
You said "walked" twice there.
You could change the second "walked", to something like, "went".
4269295 thanks I just fixed it
Just found this story and I have really enjoyed it.
I hope that you will return to it and continue the story. I'm following it in the hope that you do come back and finish it.