HHMMM. haven't finished return to flight yet. should i read on? NO don't spoil the surprise

I really enjoyed return to flight, and I very much look forward to this.

Ah, it's the equestria version of NASCAR...only in 24hrs of LeMans/Sebring...

What a way to start off. Must know what happens next!

HIGHWAY TO THE DANGER ZONE, DANGER ZONE!!!

omg i love it.please add more soon

YEAH!

Image: http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/208/006/90140%20-%20me_gusta%20rainbow_dash.jpg

Quick note.  Actually, maybe not.  Hoof notes are back!  I've placed them in GDocs for now, so it wouldn't clutter up the comments section.  See below.  

Click me for Hoof Notes!

This fic is awesome! Why doesn't you get more likes?

I mean that you have gotten everything right as far as characterization goes and, not only that, but you have a fully fleshed out OC as well. (an extremely rare breed indeed) That is more than can ever be said about more than half of the fics that I read.

I find it extremely annoying when an excelent quality story, such as this one, is largely ignored.

Your story needs more views.

Keep up the amazing writing.

>>805574805574

It is a sequel to a prior story, so I know that scares some readers off.  Of course, that can't be all of it.  If I had to guess, it's that my stories just don't appeal to the reader's tastes, and/or that my writing needs improvement.  Does it sting?  Can't deny that it does a little, but there's not much I can do.  Besides, I write because I enjoy it.

However, I do appreciate your comment.  That will get my keyboard going!  

I've also updated the notes.  

Hoof Notes

finally some romance?

>>12352631235263

I'm... not quite sure yet.  

I dig this!

Only thing is that you may have a formatting issue, there a ton of <I> and </I>'s everywhere.

>>15703051570305

Sorry, I had a moment.  Took me all of two minutes to fix.  Thanks for catching that.  

>>15703391570339

Glad to be of service,

now I can't wait for the next chapter!!!

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! I've been waiting for this!

I was very interested to see how you were going to work the race in the story. I thought it would be difficult to make a series of 800 left turns exciting in narration, but you've done a great job so far. I think it was a smart move, working with the character's interactions during the race. Seems to me that Swift's group has some catching up to do!

Being a bit of a racing fan myself, I kind of would like to hear from time to time what line the racers are taking, though (if possible). I get the feeling the racecourse is built loosely off Daytona or another one of the superspeedways. In those races, obviously the inside line is the shortest distance (and usually the fastest line during the turns), but it isn't always the fastest depending on your situation. Not sure how it would work on a three-dimensional raceway where the competitors have wings, but it might be something to consider looking at. Swift's a smart guy, I bet he could figure out how to get his group back onto the speed of the pace (or if worst comes to worst, make it difficult or more tiring for other racers to pass). Just throwing ideas out there for you.

Anyway, it was a very enjoyable chapter, and I'm eager to see how everything's gonna play out!

>>19042491904249

Admittedly, writing about the race itself was something I wasn't looking forward to, since they are essentially going around in circles.  I'll likely skip chunks of the race, or otherwise summarize it in a way that flows with the overall narrative.  As for the track itself, the design is a blend of Daytona and Indy, although it's more on the latter, with the scoreboard, shape, and the fact that they started the race three-wide.  Because the track's up in the air, it is more tricky describing which lines everyone is using, but I will add that detail next time.

Right now, I have a good idea where to go with this story up to the next caution.  After that, it's up in the air given I can go different directions with what  happens, although it won't affect the end result.  On that note, I actually have a rough draft of the finish, with the actual winner.  You won't get me to spill the beans, though.  

Hey Outlaw! Awesome job on this chapter! It's been awhile since I've read a chapter this long! Not that I mind, of course!

So this is it, the most dramatic scene in the race rapidly approaching, and the good guys have taken a beating. It's going to be interesting to see how this all plays out from here. Will they manage to escape the devastating gale of defeat? I guess we'll have to find out!

Not to be a pain, but I think you may have used the wrong word in this sentence. With a chapter this big, sometimes wrong words manage to slip through, so I figured you'd want to know:

Green flag, and there goes the flap pony around once again!

Great job, and thanks for sacrificing to push this update out for us!

>>19936861993686

Thanks for pointing that out.  Fixed it.  

Slam, went the book’s cover, thanks to the locomotive sounding its deafening horn.

Dangit, Outlaw! You're killing me, playing with mah feels like that! I wanted so bad to see the two of them finally get together!

That's twice now that you've got me with those scenes!

Very good conclusion though. I loved it (even though that train whistle totally trolled me)! Well done, man! Hopefully this isn't the last we've seen of Swift and Rainbow! Even if not in text, they're a fun pair to watch.

>>20986942098694

I'm going to have an explanation for the ending, but I'll wait a while for others to finish reading.  

Oh man, that ending. It's tearing me in two! Though I have to agree with Shaleclaw, great conclusion!

Hope to see more of these two, and keep up the good work!

Bro. I am am both very pissed at you for that ending and happy for it! Too damn close!!!! I guess I'm too mushy for my own good......

But you simply must write another one with those Swift and Rainbow! You must make their ship reach the shore!!!!

Toodledoo!

Quillin Words

>>20998952099895

Even if I ever write part three, who says I'll actually keep the ship afloat?  

>>21003322100332 YOU WOULDN'T!!!!!

Gonna comment on the Authors Note here since more comments here=more publicity for the story.

I have to say, giving Spitfire's number a meaning like you did was genius. I never would have caught it had you not mentioned it, but that's the type of trivia I like dropping in my own works! Same with Rainbow and Swift's numbering. That was leet, if you'll excuse the pun!

I thought your ending sounded like a setup for a sequel. I'm actually rather glad you went with your original approach and left the option open. You never know when that itch to keep going will strike you between the shoulder blades and you'll need to scratch. I know the amount of traffic this story received had to have been disappointing, but I for one would wholeheartedly support you if you were to decide to go through with a sequel to this story. Judging from the other comments, I can think of at least a couple more who would endorse the idea as well.

I mean, you did say you wanted to do a trilogy, right? *nose tap* I think you've got a little pegasus spirit in there.

To quote Rainbow, I said I had your back and I meant it! The checkered flag for that completed trilogy is one story away, Outlaw. The white flag is out! Don't let nasty Gecks and Gilda ruin your race now! We've got your back! Fly on, Outlaw! Fly on to claim that victory that you've worked so hard for already!

>>21005122100512 *gasp* Don't tempt him!

>>21005122100512

I can't deny it's a direction I've thought about.  Like I said, I'm not sure there's enough readership to support a part three, but I know for certain that if I do go ahead, the fic would take place at least two months after Top Wings.  Based on what happened on the train, there's plenty of enough time for feelings to change...

...or not.  It's a decision that even now, I haven't made.  Whether I ever will, I really don't know.  

>>21005532100553

I want to say that Gilda and Gecks' numbers also have some meaning, but I honestly forgot what that was.  

At the very least, I want to fix up Return to Flight to fix any inconsistencies, and make it a more polished product.  Maybe that will get more interest.

If there's another obstacle in the way, it's time.  I'm not sure I'll have it to put out something up to my standards.  My writing gets uneven when I have to stop and go all the time.  

>>21005712100571 On the matter of publicity, have you tried submitting this series (including "Return to Flight") to EqD? I mean, they said they don't accept main character/OC ship unless it's really good, and I thinking most of your readers will agree with me when I say you did an amazing job at it.

Of course, you've probably already tried submitting this, but if you haven't, there's something you could do.

>>21018712101871

Already went that route with Core of the Apple.  While it did get on the site, all that happened was the readers trashed my story, so yeah, I guess my fics just aren't that popular, or up to their standards.  Fair enough.  

>>21024322102432 I think you should try again with this story. As much as I liked Core of the Apple, I'll admit there was room for some improvement. With this series,your writing improved greatly, and is near impeccable towards the end. I highly suggest trying for another submission.

So I've read both of your fics following Sky and Rainbow...

Amazing, honestly. With only  few very very minor errors (small enough that they escape recollection at the moment.)  The descriptions and characters were believable and dynamic, and everything flowed nicely, making the entire read quite an enjoyable experience.

Then I finished Top Wings.

You sir, have rustled my jimmies. An amazing story like that, to be left at such an end....without any sort of closure, or eventual promise of such...

I am disappoint.

I do hope you decide to continue with it as a trilogy. I'd say due to the dynamics you've crafted between the characters, there is certainly enough for a sequel.

Well done on writing a story so immersive, that I was genuinely saddened and angered at the outcome. To involve a reader to that level is a sign of a truly well-written story.

-Radbunny.

>>21734272173427

Thanks for the comment.  

To be honest, I was a little worried that there would be a big backlash for the way I ended Top Wings.  I think nine out of ten writers would've put the bow and tie together and end it in a predictable matter.  Then again, those fics usually are focused on the romance, while in my story, there's other things going on.  Had I gone in a different direction, then I believed it would've been a tacked-on ending, something that stuck out from everything else.  I actually tried keeping the shipping parts to a minimum, other than a few select areas, since I wanted to keep the focus on the race itself.  

At the minimum, I do want to polish up Return to Flight in order to fix any inconsistencies, and to bring its quality a step up from where it is now.   Also, I am trying to bring more awareness to my story via artwork.  Maybe if I get enough people hooked, that will motivate me to get the ball rolling again.  I'm mainly worried how many seemed to enjoy the first fic, yet, that hasn't translated to readers for its sequel.  It is possible that I just have follow my plan, and simply wait it out.  

>>21763472176347

Hmm. Well that makes sense at least.

For my stories, I write them for the sake of enjoyment. I plan on publishing other works someday, FimFiction is just filling in a temporary gap.

Does that always attract readers? Perhaps not. I'm happy for the thumbs-up I get on my fics, but I don't let that drive my writing style or ideas.

What I would humbly request is, that if your plan is to not write a sequel, perhaps an alternate ending? Not even something major, but hinting at a positive outlook.

While you may not have focused on the romantic aspect (a slight pity, being the hopeless romantic I am) I must say you had it interwoven enough to really cause the reader's heart to break at the end, compounded moreso by the lack of any sort of closure. Add to that the fact I'm a sucker for romance....and hence my rather chilly view at the ending.

I could see it going many ways. Perhaps a sequel, or an alternate ending? Or, you could leave it here. I share your disappointment at the lack of views it has, because it surely deserves more.

'tis my two cents.

-Radbunny

>>21763782176378

It did seem a little cold-hearted to end it that way, especially considering that I released the last chapter right before Valentine's Day.  Then again, I'll have to admit that when I was writing Return to Flight, there was actually not supposed to be any romance at all.  If anything, one of my goals was that, yes, you can write an Stallion OC + RD story without going into that area.  That was the only time I allowed readers to have a major influence in plot direction.  Even today, I'm surprised at where that has taken me.

The idea of an alternative ending has floated around my head.  Then again, my fic is no Great Expectations, and I get the sense that there would be some contradictions that would be hard to properly rectify.  In the end, do I want to eventually finish what I started?  Yes, but the few basic ideas I have are big, and I'm having trouble fleshing them out.

>>21765362176536

Well....I think the fact you didn't intend any romance, but it happened anyway, is exactly what made it so amazing, because that's how love works sometimes.

and wait, you released it right before....wow...

that's pretty cruel...like....not just cold-heart cruel...

Image: http://thefitcast.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/mr-freeze1.jpg

^that cruel.

Well, an alternative ending could satisfy both ends- it is optional, therefore it can contradict, and yet allows for some leeway.

I'd be more than happy to be a wall to bounce ideas off of, if you ever want some help =)

>>21765512176551

At least I didn't have any bad puns every other paragraph.  

I might send you a message in the next few days.  If I can get something basic down, then at least I'll have an idea of which direction I want to go.  You'll be surprised that I had close to nothing in terms of an outline, and that made the writing a lot more time-consuming.

>>21765772176577

Fair enough XD

I'd love to see whatever you churn up!

You Sir are one of the best writers I have come across. I love how the romance of the story is there its not blindingly in your face, to few do it that way anymore. A absolutely commendable jobs Sir.

>>23664752366475

Thanks.  I wanted any romance to be interwoven with both Top Wings and Return to Flight, rather than be the dominant, driving force.  It feels more natural that way.  

very nice story, PLEASE write a 3rd

also i love the way you have both swifts and rainbows personality that work so well, hope they actually confess their feelings to each other