• Member Since 17th Aug, 2011
  • offline last seen Nov 30th, 2022

lilinuyasha


Comments ( 14 )

This was really hard to write. It's tougher to write sadfics than it is to read them. Many people have suggested I make a sadfic. Well...here it is. :applecry: Hope it's alright.

Thanks. I sent it to eqd. Hopefully they'll like it better than Flutterheart.

It has to be accepted first. I'll worry about the rest later.

#5 · Oct 17th, 2011 · · ·

Having lost my grandfather recently, I found this story to be especially touching. You did a good job conveying AJ's sorrow, and I found myself choked up to the point of tears in some places. I really feel like you took hard subject to deal with and handled it very well. You're a very creative author, and I'd like to see you try your hand at another sad fic again sometime.

One thing I feel that you could improve on, however, is making better use of pronouns to break up the repetitiveness of saying your characters names again and again. You can have a lot of fun playing with descriptive adjectives, and they really add more color and flavor to your writing.

Over all, it was a great read, and twenty minutes before bed well spent. Keep it up BMT!

Beautiful story, very emotional, and a overall decently made sadfic. :) I think EqD might point out at least three issues with it, though:

1) The little flashbacks AJ is having aren't very distinct. There doesn't need to be a line seperator in between them, but they could at least be in all italics, to make sure we know it's a scene playing out in AJ's head as she's sitting there in the hospital.
2) Overuse of ellipses.
and 3) Their mininum word count requirement is 3000 words!

Actually for short, completed works, the minimum is 2500.But I'll keep those in consideration. They sent it the pre-readers so...we'll see.

This story is damn sad. :fluttershysad: This is on ED? Awesome, congrats! :pinkiehappy:

(thumbs up):applecry:

I've lost both of my grandfathers, with the other found dead 3rd of December last year. It wasn't such a blast to me, for we knew it was coming.
So, I gotta ask myself now: why I cry now, to this fiction, when I didn't cry at the funeral, in reality? What's my problem?

Anyways, thank you. I accidentally pressed 4.5 and I'm sorry about it.

I remember last year, just at the start of spring. At that time I lost my great-grandmother. She would always smile and make me feel better whenever i was staying at her place. With years going by, she taught me quite a few things; baking (I really never was any good at that), a few games and basically teach me how to always keep my mood up and treat others with respect and care, values that I to this day still hold very dear to my heart. :pinkiesad2:
In the later years of her life, she slowly became more and more senile. Slowly forgetting things, including family. She would still remember my sister and brother as they had been spending a lot more time with her in the later years. Still, I visited her from time to time, not really thinking about it.
When she had been admitted to the hospital, we all stood with her, keeping her company in what would most likely be the last few hours of her life.
As my siblings said they goodbyes and got a smile from her, something happened that hadn't occurred in quite a while, seeing as she had almost forgotten me and my parents; she smiled at me. With that little gesture, I simply broke out crying. Never had I thought about how much she had given me, and how much I had loved her.
At her funeral I didn't shed a single tear, simply knowing that me being sad was the last thing she would ever want. :fluttercry:

I guess what I'm trying to say with all of this rambling is, that you shouldn't take things for a given. Love what you have and look back at it when you've lost it. People might tell you that putting things behind you and let it stay in the past is for the best, there's simply some things (or people) that never deserves to be forgotten.
I loved your story, and my god I'm crying my eyes out writing this. Just... thank you :pinkiesad2:

-Sincerely, Glassed

172976 I don't believe in getting thanked. I did for this community what I believed was right. The people on Eqd though it wasn't sad enough, in general. I believe the happy ending was perfectly fitting. I'm glad you found this a good story. I can only hope that others in the same situation find this as appealing and uplifting as you did.

Regards,
Trey

173127 I believe that there's 2 kinds of sadness when talking about fanfics. There's the general sadness, where something bad/emotionally happens to a characters that you've grown to like. A good example of this could be "My Little Dashie":
The other is the more precise sadness; the one that hits a few individuals, yet hits harder. For people who have lost someone (like my great grandmother) in their family, will know what AJ is going through (most likely), and they'll feel a bigger impact on it.
That's not to say that the first is better than the second, heck I think it's basically the same. It's nice to see something that feels like it just appeals to you and not the masses (even if that wasn't the authors intention).
Hope to see more.
-Glassed

Login or register to comment