sweet baby jesus more from kwakerjak. reads enthusiastically

excellent chapter

Very interesting, Eager to see where this leads. (Twidash? )

Well-written, wellcharacterized (is that a word?) and an interesting concept. Tracked.

No shipping tag? Shame.

Ahh well. Tracking this anyways, due to the great opening chapter. :D

It may not be shipping but it is still Twilight and Dash in an awesome and cute concept.

Looking forward to more.

That was really cute, and pretty interesting! Waiting eagerly for more.

Gaps between paragraphs are a little too big, but story is to good to pay attention on it. Stalin loves "Slice of life" ficks, and this one is fine example.

Also, in Stalin's opinion, Twilight's color should not be described as violet, lavender is more accurate.

Overall: good job! Stalin eager for more.

Interesting... Everything about the concept screams shipping, yet it's not tagged as such. Thankfully it also lacks dark and tragedy, so I don't think we'll be seeing Twi plummet to her death. It'll be fun to see where this goes.

>>326407326407

I suppose I should make this matter clear right now: No, I did not forget to add a shipping tag.

Now this is interesting. Have a thumbs up and a track for a little motivation.

>>326566326566 Haha, I didn't think so. I just find it's... An interesting start to a non-ship fic. Like I say, everything about it teases TwiDash, but it'll be neat to see this played out platonically.

Tracking this. The characters feel well realized to me, it'd be clear who is speaking from their lines alone.

>>327548327548

There is such a thing as "friendshipping" which is the deepening of a platonic relationship beyond what it is portrayed as in canon. However it involves no romantic aspects at all. Friendshipping fics are some of my favorites by far.

Even without the shipping tag this is a great story so far with an equally great premise.

Equestrian activity in Equestria?! This is gonna be a "wild" ride indeed!

Very well written so far. I could imagine Rainbow being exactly like this. I like these sort of stories, because they don't set up huge character changing events that could conflict with the show or characters.

New Chapter!

And now is the part where I harshly edit you using lyrics.

""an quadruple"

"a" not "an"

""after all, maneuvers that were comparatively easy to pull off for fliers were likely .""

unfinished sentence.

"Rainbow Dash looked down at the ground for several second."

I'm MC Don't-Know-How-To-Pluralize-Word

I got so many rhyme and I sleep with all the girl

When there's more of one of something you're supposed to pluralize

But I never learned that throughout all the year I've been alive

This chapter was great. I wonder if this will lead up to an actual derby where Twi acts as Dash's jockey in a real race?

>>331253331253

Thanks.  I usually spot that sort of thing myself about an hour after posting, regardless of how much proofreading I've done.

>>331268331268

Yup. I'm the same way.

At first I started this because the premise was interesting, now I'm genuinely hooked and left wanting for more. Good Job, you've successfully drawn me in to your story.

>>331402331402 I see that happening a lot in the future.

This story is so full of Thank-you, Thank-you!

Much muffins for you!

I can't wait for the future misinterpretations that I hope to see from the rest of the mane 6.

Twilight is such a boss. She reads books and trains the fasted pony in Equestria. I was thinking of a Dash fic where a new pony rivals Dash (it has probably been done. This story here may inspire me to get on that, as i have not written anything here yet.

Thanks for the fun story so far.

A very nice chapter. I like the characterization of Dash, though Twilight still feels a bit off. But other than that, it's a good read so far.

I'm not sure how Rainbow Dash has ailerons, but ... okay!

>>341951341951

I couldn't think of what the equivalent of ailerons are on bird (and, by extension, pegasus) wings.  I eventually decided that it was better to use an existing term that might not have a reason to exist in Equestria than to make up my own term and bog down the narrative further with even more of my wordiness as I explained what I was talking about.

>>341979341979

Fair enough! Birds don't need ailerons, because they can move their entire wings (one wing up and the other down) to make turns. I am a pilot, so I couldn't help but notice. Good story, by the way!

Very funny, I even know where your talking about, with those aerobatics, that is! Keep it up!

Very interesting. Tracked. Keep it up

Hi,

it was really fun to read.

But the last sentence is bugging me.

I do not think that Twilight would be so snippy and bossy towards Spike like that.

It was like: "Shut up slave. Back to work!"

Maybe something more like

"That's a secret *giggle*. Are all books shelved already?"

Overall definatly a like from me!

"Greaves," not grieves.  Greaves are armor for your shins.  Grieving is what you do at a funeral.  At Twilight's funeral, in the hopefully unlikely event she plummets to her demise.  

This certainly promises to be an entertaining fic.

>>342512342512

Thanks.  I thought it didn't look right, but Chrome's spellcheck doesn't recognize "greaves" as an actual word, so I got thrown off.

Looks good for some friendshipping (can never have enough of that) consider me on board for the ride. Liking and tracking.

Fun story! Hope to see more of it soon

>>341979341979 You could simply call it a wing roll, or feather roll. Those have no flare, though. Just make up a Pegasus pony named Aileron something, and claim him to be the first pony to do one.

I really laughed at the portion about barrel rolls vs aileron rolls.

Aces High - Iron Maiden

Love the story so far :)

One thing I noticed was you said the word "sapient" which means human, and I think that you meant "sentient" which means intelligent. Keep up the good work, I love how Twi argues with Rainbow over the words!

>>331253331253

This is the single most amazing comment I have ever read.  Bravo.

If this story does not spawn a thousand clopfics I will be shocked to my core.  Frankly, I half expect this to end up a clopfic.  I am as of yet undecided as to how I would take such a development.

>>344714344714

Unlikely to get cloppy since it's on EqD now. It would need 2 versions to not be taken down.

Also if you liked those lyrics, here's a PMV of the song they're from. http://youtu.be/aAhthA8QFew

>>343895343895 Incorrect, Sapient means having complex emotions. Gorillas for example are sapient as they can form complex emotional bonds. Crows are not sapient as they don't have anything close to emotions beyond 'hungry' 'sex' and 'danger'. Both are sentient however, as both can solve puzzles that require lateral thinking.

>>341979341979

I had the same problem in one of my stories and eventually came to the same conclusion and just gave up and used "aileron roll". Clearly, someone needs to write about Aileron and his/her groundbreaking work in pegasus aerobatics.

Anyway, fun stuff so far!

>>341979341979 Hmm, adjusting the tilt of your wings might have the same general effect. A barrel roll involves stiff wings, while the other involves tilting your wings to gain air-pressure assistance.

That was awesome. I'm looking forward the next chapters

>>345680345680

Actually Whiteeyes you have it the wrong way around. Sapient refers to being wise, its second meaning referring to being human, as in "homosapien". Sentient refers to feelings and self awareness. One of the big tests for sentience is the mirror test. An animal is considered sentient if it can recognize itself as the one in the mirror.

Very nice writing. Tracking this.

*Rainbow Dash struggles to get the request out, Twilight cocks her head in confusion as RD stutters.  Finally, the words break loose and tumble from RD's mouth in a rapid jumble which managed to create the most awkward sentence possible*  Twilight, I need you to ride me right now!  

*Twilight WHUAAAA!!!*  

*Alondro detects trolling potential!  He acts!*

“What was that all about?” came Spike’s voice from upstairs.

Twilight glared at her assistant.  “It’s none of your business, Spike.  I'm just going to be riding Rainbow Dash a couple days a week from now on!   Turns out riding a pegasus mare that much is very tiring work!  Now quit eavesdropping and get back to sorting those books!”

Spike:  O_____________o  

This is definitely one of my new favorite story's due to its execution and unique idea.

Yes! Can't wait till the next chapter!

I wonder what the Dash has in mind?

Wow. That is a LOT of technical info. Points for doing your research, but you might not want to show it off this prominently. People generally don't come here to learn, so being bombarded with so much info might rub them the wrong way.

>>363965363965

... Those people don't need to read this story then, do they?

Fun stuff.

>>363985363985 I came here for the interesting interaction between Rainbow and Twilight. The first two chapters had such in abundance, with some technical stuff to show more of how their world works. Good stuff.

This chapter, I had to look for the entertaining interaction with a magnifying lens among entire paragraphs of technical jargon. It's the difference between 'macaroni and cheese' and 'cheese and macaroni'.

Of course, all criticism is subjective, but I thought it's something the author might want to keep in mind for next time.

Personally we enjoyed the chapter and found the amount of technical information was enough to explain ideas that we had never bothered with learning. While not managing to take away from the interaction as much of the technical information is something that Dash and Twilight share, taking away their ability to speak in bouts of jargon would remove more. Just as the chapter being written in mainly jargon would remove just as much.

In all please continue, we look forward to seeing more.

I don't mind the extra information, but then, I'm a flight geek as well as a MLP fan.

I had Rainbow Dash carrying a passenger in my current story as well, partially because of the inspiration from this story, actually.

>>364003364003

I don't actually intend for most chapters to be like this one (that would get tedious very quickly), but in the course of planning the whole story, I realized that the technical difficulty of some of these moves is actually going to be an important plot point later on, and this felt like the best time to establish that.

Nice chapter, there's just one problem...

My Romance addled mind wants to see this turn into a shipping story... sorry, It's a great story so far.

>>364699364699 I concur. Let the ship-train arrive.

>>364719364719

Wait, ship-train? why not ship- ehh ship?

Nevermind! Just do it!

>>364744364744 Ship-Zeppeliner!...er...er...er...er... Or however you spell it. It's technically a ship... just, you know... flying...

Surely I am not the only person thinking about Blades of Glory while reading this.

I really like this story. REALLY. Wonderful interaction between Dash and Twi without the shipping that most writers might have gone for. (really think that would have mucked up the interactions between the two). Keep it up.

Image: http://www.myfacewhen.net/uploads/961-aww-yeah.jpg

That's exactly what I looked like when I read the bit about Aileron rolls.

And I didn't mind the technical talk. Course, being a bit of an amateur pilot, I knew(and have experienced) all of it already.

Great story I am anticipating the arrival of the next chapter as well as having the most mind boggling experience trying to figure out where this will go . . . Also I must ask where are you getting all of this knoledge of aerobatics its very hard to keep up with sometimes I find my self having to re-read some parts to figure out what is being said, over all wonderfully brilliant story !!!!!

RD sounds a little bookish in her replies. Not when she's talking tech, mind you, I expect her to know this stuff inside and out. What I mean are her replies:

“Well, I won’t deny that spins are pretty to look at when they’re done by a flyer who knows what she’s doing, but [. . .]"

This sounds more like Rarity's mode of speech--Dash would probably say the same thing in fewer words.

"Yeah, well, they're cool to see, but . . ."

Great chapter, though--keep it up!

>>363965363965 >>364526364526

At the same time, don't feel pressured to pander to the unthinking majority. There are so many other boring 'normal' stories after all, it's interesting to read something different.

>>368229368229

Google.

>>368305368305 Thanks for the feedback. I looked over the paragraph in question, and I decided that what you said was mostly valid, so I did some revision.

Great chapter, can't wait to read more!

oh yeah, and here's a few extra tricks that you can use in future chapters http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aerobatic_maneuver

if you want... if that's okay with you

>>364003364003 Fair enough concern. I happen to enjoy learning about the stuff at the same time as seeing the characters interact. Then again I love learning like Twi does so yeah, might not be the most reliable judge on that.

I like the technical stuff. It's interesting. And, I agree with >> Akire. Shipping would just muddy everything up, especially since it's  just about friends doing tricks.

Or maybe I'm just not a fan of DashLight.

Huh, before reading this chapter, I apparently had a complete misconception of what a barrel roll is. The term makes me imagine a barrel literally rolling across a surface, with both ends each consistently facing one way the whole time. So applied to flying, I always thought a barrel roll was just quickly turning over sideways without ever changing forward direction at all, apparently what that aileron roll is. Now that I've read the actual descriptions, I've gotta say I take the complete opposite stance as Dash. Barrel roll makes no sense at all and doesn't describe the motion in the slightest, especially since there's also a loop involved. I'd call it a helix roll, because that actually evokes the proper image. I mean, I guess if you imagine the shape of the path itself as a physical object in space, then picture another solid object filling the area inside of that, it'd be generally tube-shaped, but that's just so much less intuitive than envisioning the direction of the movement through space.

Anyway! All that's entirely irrelevant! But at least I got to show off my complete lack of familiarity with any kind of flight simulation games, right?

So yeah, I like the way this story is coming along. It's a cute concept, and I'm glad it isn't a romance. Shipping stories are fine and all, but it feels like that would only detract from this one, and it works much better as simple friendshipping. The only thing I dislike is the story's name, but that's also pretty much irrelevant. Now to read chapter 3 (I think this might be the first time I've ever commented on a story before reading everything that was currently available).

. . . not sure if having the saddle in brown would make the binding device look any less ridiculous.

>>384528384528  tl;dr .  .  . jk

But I did hear Flight Simulator in there. And I think we need a Rainbow Dash mod for it.

Image: http://i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/277/896/69f.gif

I do like the information on the acrobatics though. Felt interesting imagining out the whole schematics of their flight path. Though, I can't help but think that I'd like to hear some of the town gossip. Eventually, their friends are gonna find out . . . but not before some ridiculous rumors right?

I like this story and am glad to see so many likes, heres another one.

Super ultra awsomazing. I didn't think a two Character story could be soo awesome. Although I should know better when the best spell caster and coolest flyer are involved.

Twilight glared at her assistant.  “It’s none of your business, Spike.  Now quit eavesdropping and get back to sorting those books!”

Am I the only one who thought of "Friendship is Witchcraft"?

OMG!!! FINALLY A CHANCE TO PUT MY AVIATION KNOWLEDGE TO USE!! Well the flight aspect of it atleast.

Keep on flying man! I'm loving it

I don't care what anyone says about the lingo being disrupting. This is a fun story, and I really look forward to reading it each time it comes out.

Yay!

This is a really awesome story. The descriptions are really strong and I like how you have Rainbow Dash actually KNOW how to fly. It makes sense that she would and I like how she can keep pace with Twilight on most things.

That said, I'm curious to see where this story is going, or what happens if/when their friends find out about Rainbow's ride.

this story keeps getting better and better.

>>427887427887

You ain't read nuthin' yet.

>>427944427944

...I do not know if my body is ready for what is in store next.

BUT I'M WILLING TO FIND OUT

I can just imagine the screams anyone who happened to be out working the fields that day heard coming from the skies above.

This story keeps getting better. Please, keep up the good work.

Haha, wonder where this is going

eu realmente gosto dessa historia, sobre interação entre meus dois personageis preferidos, muito mais realista que a maioria das historias

e mostra o que promete, really funny, e estou aprendendo sobre voar, the fun has been doubled

Como um grande fã de TwiDash, a mudança de cenario é muito agradavel, só amizade. nada mais nada menos

5/5

>>428696428696

*heads off to Google translate*

*returns*

Thank you!  I agree with you about friendshipping vs. shipping.  The latter is nice when it's done properly, but overindulging in it can occasionally cause one to forget about the importance of platonic relationships.

(And in case anypony was wondering, I'm perfectly willing to sail on any ship as long as it's well-written.)

>>428738428738

I'mmmmm Saiiillllllllling Awwwwaaaaaayy.

This is definitely one of my new favorites to see an update for.  

You rock so much for this story! Part of me honestly hopes for continued use of canterlot castle as a target.

I totally wanna see Twi's face if she ever realized the Princess saw her up there!

someone's gonna find out... and get the wrong idea.

I VOTE RARITY

Awesome stuff yet again! This really does feel like an episode and I can't wait to see what happens next.

I'm also loving the technical comments on aerodynamics and such. It's not my specific field but they seem very accurate and really add to my experience.

>>430276430276

I'm not an expert on flight either---I just used Google and Wikipedia to learn enough to fake it.

>>429688429688 Why not Scootaloo?

"But... but that's MY dream!"

Another great chapter.

Not enough, not enough, not enough...

That was a very nice chapter, I've smiled many times. But it wasn't long enough.. I'm curious how all this will turn out. It's very nice too read, so much refreshing. The narration is very smooth too ! I'll stop here 'cause I suck at praise and I'm falling asleep, but your story's awesome

Did I mention it was not enough ?

+1 reader.

This is an excellent fic, and my second favorite of the ones I'm currently tracking; keep it up!

>>431361431361 because she will jump to conclusions the fastest. Pinkie pie wouldn't know what was going on or would want to join in, Applejack would ask them what was going on BEFORE jumping to conclusions, Fluttershy would be traumatized and Scootaloo can't see any fault in RD