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Crying Without Tears3,234 words

Crying Without Tears

There are some people in the world that can respond to any unfamiliar situation with nothing less than a calm and rational mind.

I was not one of those people.

I spent at least ten minutes cursing at Tzeentch for taking away everything I knew, cursing this new body I have to get used to, cursing a rock I tripped on and ended face first in what I hoped was mud and just cursing at everything in general. Finally I managed to calm down enough to take note of my situation.

'Okay I'm currently Ahriman, or at least in his body, one of the most powerful Chaos Sorcerers in Warhammer 40k in another world. Said world might contain dangers that will could rip me apart like wet paper thrown into a paper shredder,'

I also noticed that near where I woke up was a staff that I felt drawn to, a smaller bolter that was, despite it's size, light as a feather, and a thick book with an ever changing rainbow of colors on it's cover. The colors would be flow like water one minute and be like a swirling vortex the next and it was labeled 'The Book of Change'.

The armor felt... oddly comfortable like it was a second skin. Unfortunately I couldn't say the same for the body itself because I was stumbling around for a few minutes, getting used to this body's dimensions. I guess the closest comparison to this would be like getting into a costume meant to make you look taller and wider like a suit of armor. You have to learn how to walk around with the new dimensions of being taller and wider otherwise you'll just keep bumping into things. After a few awkward minutes of learning how to walk without stumbling, I've noticed that my senses were incredibly heightened.

I could see a bird building a nest several hundred feet away, hear the footsteps of several small animals, and feel... two hearts beating!

I tried to block out all sounds but myself and was surprised to not just hear two hearts beating in my chest but also felt three lungs expanding! 'Okay despite the situation, that is cool,'

Deciding to explore a bit, I took the the staff in one hand and the book in the other, but wonder how I was going to carry the bolt pistol when it suddenly disappeared in a bright colorful burst of smoke. 'What the? Wait a minute, let's see,' I thought about it again, imagining it was in front of me and sure enough, it appeared right on the ground in another burst of smoke. 'Well that's a useful trick, at least I won't have to carry this stuff.'

I made both the staff and bolt pistol disappear but when I tried it on the book, nothing happened. Another couple of tries and nothing. 'Fine then, I might as well read this thing,' I tried to open the book but it remained stubbornly shut even after I started using both hands.

"Damn it! I'm not in the mood to deal with a stubborn book!" I yelled in anger, throwing the book down to the dirt.

Only for it to stop itself and fly back up to eye level.

I stared at the book with unblinking eyes for a minute before it spoke. "Is that how you treat a book as great as me?"

Standing still for a few seconds, I immediately turned away from it and began to walk in a random direction. "Hey where do you think your going!?" It yelled at my back. The book sounded like Navi from Legend of Zelda which ticked me off more since I hated that damn thing. Even worse, it spoke inside my head.

"I can deal with a lot of shit but a talking floating book with an annoying ass voice is were I draw the line! I'm going to, I don't know, burn down a village or something." I replied as I stomped into a forest.

I wasn't going actually do something like that but I did needed to do something. It was how I calmed myself down. Unfortunately the book caught up with me and started to fly around my head, pestering me to stop. 'Then again, maybe I could burn down an abandon village.'

Max Claw wasn't the brightest manticore around but he certainly was one of the biggest. Very few would dare enter his territory and those that did were usually the timberwolves, cockatrice, and other manticores themselves. So Max was understandably surprised when he saw none of the three enter his territory.

It walked on it's hind legs, making him think it was one of those dogs, but it was far larger and not to mention it being blue and having several horns coming from it's head along with odd growths on it's back. Another thing was it's glowing red eyes that displayed a cold ruthless predator look and something colorful that seemed to be flying around it's head.

There was something off about this being but that didn't matter for it has invaded his territory and needed to learn it's lesson.

"WOULD YOU SHUT UP ALREADY!" I roared, swatting at the book like it was an annoying fly but it dodged and weaved around my massive hands. It just wouldn't shut up and kept bragging about how 'lucky' I was to be in it's presence and how 'grateful' I should be that Tzeentch assigned it to be my guide.

Needlessly to say, I wanted to show how grateful I was using the bottom of my foot.

A deep growling broke me from my attempts to catch the book and we both turned to see a large creature that jumped out in front of us. At first I thought it was a lion with a red mane and dusty brown coat but then I noticed the bat-like wings and scorpion tail. It was about as large as I was with large teeth, big claws, and a predatory look in it's eyes.

Any other day I would be pissing myself with fear but not today. Not after all the shit I've been through and I wasn't in the mood to deal with even more. I was angry and now I had something to direct it on.

I took a step forward and it growled, preparing to lunge but froze when it met my eyes.

"I have no idea what the fuck you are but let me tell you right now that I don't care," I spoke, my rage-filled voice echoed through the forest which was now dead silent. I took another step forward and it took a step back but still managed a deep threatening growl. "You think your scary with those big teeth and claws? Well let me tell you something, you freakish offspring of a mass orgy gone wrong, the last dream I had I was taken by one of the most twisted gods in fiction."

Another step forward, another step back. I saw fear and hesitation appear in it's eyes.

"Shocked twice, making every cell in my body scream in pain."

Step forward, step back. It wanted to leave but my eyes kept it from running.

"Brought to a realm that nearly drove me mad and forced to accept a deal that left me with nothing from home but my name and memories."

Forward.

It was visibly shaking now. The predator was now the prey.

Back.

"And now I have to deal with this new body, a book that won't shut up, and a new world that I know nothing about but you know what? I'm glad you showed up because now," I held up a hand, aiming my palm at the lion thing. "I have something to vent all my frustration on." I imagined it burning, a ball of fire erupting from my hand and burning the thing to ashes.

That didn't happen.

What did happen was the lion-bat spontaneously catching on fire that was pink and blue, trying in vain to put it out by rolling on the ground. It took ten seconds but it might have well been ten hours from how painful it's roars was and that tears were actually falling from it's eyes. I watched with satisfaction as the fire burned until nothing remained of the lion-bat, not even ashes. I then noticed that I had gathered an audience of birds, squirrels, rabbits and other small forest animals.

"WHAT ARE YOU ALL LOOKING AT!" I bellowed shaking the trees and making them scatter in fear that this new predator would light them on fire.

I panted, more from emotional exhaustion, and finally the book spoke up. "Well that was certainly impressive. Your first spell and it was Flickering Fire of Tzeentch. Very well done mortal."

It was finally then that I took noticed of what was I did, the horrible reality of what I've done hitting me in the face like a sledgehammer.

"W-what did I do?"

"Simply put, you engulf that lion-bat in Warpfire which burns anything living right down to their very souls, effectively making them suffer before they die," The book answered, not noticing me stumbling to a tree, leaning on it for support.

I felt sick, sick that I killed an innocent creature without a hint of mercy and disgusted that I felt satisfaction in doing so.

"I didn't think you had it in you but I guess you prove me wrong. I suppose that teaching you won't be a huge waste of my time after all."

I remember it's roars and tears, how painful it's expression was as it burned.

"Still I would hate to be that thing. Warpfire ensures that it's very being is burned away, wiping it from existence in a slow burning death."

I shook my head, trying to forget how I felt about the lion-bat dying, how good it was to see it burn, to see it change.

"Alright then, lets find some place where we can stay because I don't feel like staying out here where- Say why are you-"

I heard no more as I fell back, darkness engulfing my vision as I did.

If a pony looks at Celestia now, they would see an alicorn with a calm and gentle smile, betraying no hint of the storm of emotions buried underneath. Ever since the vision, Celestia's mind been plagued with questions.

What was that being? Why was Equestria burning and her ponies slaughtered in cold blood? Who could be cruel enough to do so? However one question rang louder than all of those put together.

How can she prevent that vision from coming true?

"Uh Princess Celestia? Are you sure your okay?" Captain Shining Armor's voice snapped back into reality.

"Yes I'm perfectly fine. Why?" She asked looking at him.

The unicorn simply pointed a hoof at her desk. "For one, I don't think your desk needs your signature."

Celestia blinked before looking down and true to his word, her quill had craved her name into her wooden desk. The alicorn lightly blushed and repaired the damage.

"And two, you've been sitting there for nearly an hour just staring into space. I don't mean any disrespect Princess but if this keeps up I will call a Protocol Six." That made the alicorn wince, mostly out of embarrassment. Protocol Six basically gave the current captain of the royal guard the power to override her orders. It had been made several years ago by her last captain when she decided to try drinking to deal with the sorrow of her sister's banishment.

Who knew that her and alcohol would result in several bar owners becoming very rich overnight.

She sighed, walking to a window. "I'm sorry Captain Shining but I'm just... troubled by something. So why did you come here?"

Shining Armor stood respectfully behind her, his form as still as a statue. "The griffons have come to discuss trade and the minotaurs are coming later to speak to you about buying some land so they may expand." He spoke in a military tone.

"Very well, just tell the griffons I will be with them shortly and prepare a room for the minotaurs," He nodded and walked out of the room, leaving Celestia to stare out at Canterlot and beyond. She saw the lush forests and vast mountains, clouds pushed by pegasi for the rain, and unicorns and earth ponies finishing what they needed to do before said rain. Her sun stood above the skies bringing warmth and light to all those underneath.

It was impossible to imagine all of this destroyed and she swore that it never would.

'Uh my aching head,' I thought, slowly but surely drifted back to consciousness, my eyes still closed. Why did I black out?' The lion bat thing burning flashed into my head and the urge to fade back into unconsciousness came with it. Ugh that's right. I made that lion bat suffer.'

I opened my eyes and was greeted with stalactites. 'Okay I'm in a cave but last I remember I was outside so who-'

"Its about time your awake," The book flew into my vision, annoyance in it's voice. "Do you know how hard it was to drag your big butt up a slope and into a cave?"

I stared at the book for a few seconds before closing my eyes. "Oi! I know that your eyes are closed behind that helmet! Get up so we can talk." It yelled and threw itself at my forehead, cover meeting helmet.

"I much rather dance with a starved bear after being dripped in meat sauce and honey than talk to you," I said, not in the mood to deal with this book and it's ego. "And besides talk about what? How great you are?"

"About our situation mortal. Like it or not, we're in this together so I want to go over the basics with you," That got my attention and I slowly sat back up, taking note of my surroundings. We were in a large cave with a blazing pink fire nearby. "Interested now? Okay then, the great Tzeentch assigned me to be your teacher and guide. I will be teaching you how to use the powers of Tzeentch as well as assist you in this world."

"How can a talking book with an ego problem teach me let alone assist me?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"This 'book with an ego problem' happens to come from the Hidden Library itself so I'm filled with more knowledge than a mortal like you can ever achieve," It replied in a smug tone. "Anyways as for assisting you, I'm a lot more dangerous than I look."

Okay then, I stuck in an unfamiliar world in a new body with a talking book with an ego as my teacher/partner.

I sighed. 'And I thought school was tough.'

"So what's your name?" I asked, my question seemed to catch it off guard as it floated back slightly.

"Excuse me, my what?"

"Your name," I still hated this thing but at the very least I'm going to learn it's name. That way I don't have to refer it as 'talking book with an ego' all the time.

The book was silent for a minute before it spoke up. "My name is Mutatio, the Book of Change."

I raised an eyebrow at the name but shrugged it off. I vaguely remember that Daemons of Tzeentch tend to have weird names.

"Well my name's Zachary or Zach for short and by the way," I said and pointed to the fire. "Who made that?"

"I did," I stared at Mutatio for a few seconds before it asked. "What?"

"Nothing," A book that somehow made a fire doesn't even faze me considering what been going on.

Mutatio flew and landed near the fire. "We will begin our lessons tomorrow but for now, I suggest you get used to that body more." I nodded my head and paced around the cave, getting a better feeling of my new body.

It felt... empowering to be in this body after the awkwardness of getting used to it faded away. I experimented with my strength and found that I could crush rocks with ease, and that I could move faster than I ever could before. This, of course, led me to crashing face first into walls and shaking the cave with my impacts.

'I think that's enough practice for now,' I thought after pulling myself out of a wall for the fourth time. It didn't hurt but I still flinch as if it did. If anything, it felt like I jumping onto a mattress. You only felt the impact but no pain came with it. I guess it was because of this armor I was wearing and made my way to the mouth of the cave.

It appeared that I was out longer than I thought because a moon, with collection of craters that resembled a unicorn, hung high in the night sky with the stars keeping it company. Looking at those moon and stars made me realized something.

It wasn't the same. Everything was different.

The moon was larger than the one back home was and the stars were much more visible as well, none blocked out from pollution and the air was fresh in breath in.

To anyone else, it would be beautiful but to me, it was just a painful reminder of what I lost.

Everyone and everything I knew was gone, taken from me by Tzeentch and separated by death itself. I would never see my family and friends again, never get my diploma, and never make my mark on the world. At least, not in the way I wanted to.

All of it gone, with only my name and memories to remind me of it.

My body shook with grief but no matter how hard I wanted to, tears never seemed to fall. I could feel my heart- hearts, gripped by sadness and my throat constricted in sorrow but I simply couldn't form tears. So I cried without tears, that everything I had and everyone I knew was forever out of my reach. The future I would never have and the new path I was forced to take.

But above all, I cried without tears because of the fact that I never even got the chance to say goodbye.

Author's Note:

First off I just want to say how surprised I was when I say my story in that little popular stories in the home page. I honestly thought that this story would take at least a month to kick off so imagine my surprise when I saw that in a matter of days I gotten more than 50 likes and by the 12th, I've gotten over 150 likes and over 1000 views. So I just wanted to say thank you all! You're all awesome and wonderful!

Long A/N below, you don't have to read it if you don't want to but I recommend that you do.

Anyways I'm glad that I could update this by the weekend but rather disappointed that I couldn't find a decent Word I could download.

Another thing is that I don't use GDocs or Word(when I used to have it) to keep my writing in but rather in journals I keep on hand. I'll have to edit the best I can while changing chapters from paper to digital. This means that I'm having difficulty trying to find a way to give an editor my works for them to well edit of course! My reason for this method is because of a crash that wiped my computer clean and destroyed all of my works for a huge project I was planning. Long story short, months of planning, ideas and entire finished chapters were gone forever.
After that I became distrustful of keeping my writing digital and instead kept them on paper or in my head.

The last thing I want to say is my update schedule. I have no regular update schedule due to other things such as school, life, family, etc. I'm writing every chance I get but even then I can't write as much as I want. Also to that false update, I'm so sorry for that! I was up half a night studying for an exam and decided to try and write a bit. Let's just say that I thought that the publish button was the edit one.

In conclusion, thank you all for reading my story and expect more in the future. Until next time, later!

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The Watcher of Death

The Watcher of Death #1 · Jan 12th, 2014 · · ·

Attention everyone! The story is now officially updated! I just have no idea how to fix the update thingy!

Smurf

Smurf #2 · Jan 12th, 2014 · · ·

not bad,not bad at all
how much longer until he meets up with the ponies?

SeventhBrony

SeventhBrony #3 · Jan 12th, 2014 · · ·

UPDATE!!! thanks!!!

oh man(there's no drool mote) a book strait from what I am having to assume the is Inffinite Library, okay so I'm not totally a WarHammer nerd and not exactly sure of the library but I've got slight clue about it

I use OpenOffice myself. Yes, there is some serious trouble with addons and then setting everything up where it's comfortable and doesn't seem to fight me but once everything is set up it isn't all that bad a word processer. at least for me

Alex Wadegrove

Alex Wadegrove #4 · Jan 12th, 2014 · 5 · ·

Sorry, but better you learn this now than later:

1.bp.blogspot.com/-Wni_F7Ve4_w/TVf-SISvRPI/AAAAAAAABNA/r3vbhAd2Kic/s1600/yourevsyour.jpg

Meridiana

Meridiana #5 · Jan 13th, 2014 · · ·

Yaaay moar please !

hypnoshadow

hypnoshadow #6 · Jan 14th, 2014 · 1 · ·

3774373 i cant but help imagining replacing this guy with ozzy osborne.

Keiger

Keiger #7 · Jan 19th, 2014 · · ·

3786103 If we did that then we'd never know what he was saying...

hypnoshadow

hypnoshadow #8 · Jan 19th, 2014 · · ·

3810154 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JlF4v8GDoVA

maybe

azereath

azereath #9 · Jan 22nd, 2014 · · ·

good chapter really like the celestia bit :) though it's funny that I only just discovered you had updated this, even if when i had favourited it

Raistlin

Raistlin #10 · Jan 22nd, 2014 · · ·

Mutatio is based on Grimoire Weiss, right?

The Watcher of Death

The Watcher of Death #11 · Jan 23rd, 2014 · · ·

3827802
To be perfectly honest, I didn't think that anyone would spot it. Nice job! Here have a mustache

Grand Machina

Grand Machina #12 · Jan 24th, 2014 · · ·

3831285 Well, it WAS called Harmony at Mind, but then I became ashamed by this fic and deleted mine in shame and I'm completely rewriting Harmony at Mind.

Dreadphoenix