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Until you met her, the skies seemed like they were a million miles away. Until you met her, you almost always kept your wings tucked flat against your sides, never bothering to even so much as flap them. Until you met her, you didn't even know how to fly. But all of that changed, when you met her.
I clicked on this because... I don't even know. It was there, I saw it, I've been coming to grips with the fact that I'm hopelessly in love with Rainbow Dash. Whatever the reason, I clicked on the link, read the comments, and was about to close the page. Then, I couldn't. I have no idea who you are and know that we have probably never met and never will, but when I read your story... It was like reading my journal.
You may wish to check over your chapter, I noticed some spelling and grammar mistakes, but don't let that get you down, everyone makes mistakes.
I enjoy this story and will keep an eye on it, if just because I can relate to it.
>>15478 Chapter Three comes up tomorrow, and chapter Four will be up on Saturday. Chapter Five MIGHT be up along with Four if i can get them all edited in time, because i feel chapter four has some confusing elements that might need to resolved immediately in chapter five, but that's a few days away so we will see. 
Alright, you have a bit of a problem capitalizing letters. Often, proper names (Dash, Spitfire) aren't capitalized, and towards the end there was some weird capitalization going on (“What the hay, Why not?”). I'm not sure if you are a native English speaker or not, so don't be insulted by the following :p
Proper names, the names of specific people, places, and things (Dash, Ponyville, the Elements of Harmony) are all capitalized to identify them as important, as opposed to non-specific words (the pony, the town, the artifact). The first word of each sentence also gets capitalized, of course, and that's it. Of course, if you already know all this then ignore my ramblings :p
So, still loving this story. Keep it up!
>>15750 I wish I could say I drew that. Sadly, my artistic skills leave A LOT to be desired. Hence why I hang out on a fanfiction site, I suppose.
In any case, yes, it's an awesome picture. Might be a bit out of place around here, but screw it. Dr Who is amazing.
I must complement you.
Your the first person I've seen that is taking the time to reply to almost every comment you get. That's really impressive.
I still love the story, I'll be waiting for the updates tomorrow, and thanks for not thinking my last comment is weird. 
Just going to toss some advice in here as I read.
This is a bit nitpicky, but it is more professional to write out numbers below 100. When reading novels, authors do write "The War of 1812," but not "The 3 Musketeers." It's not a very important point, but every bit makes the story that much higher in quality. I only noticed it once - the "3 stories tall" Gilded Horseshoe in the beginning, but something to keep in mind.
Bah! You forgot to capitalize Dash's name at least thrice! :p
There's also a couple cases where you are missing an apostrophe (') for possessive objects; "our hotels best patron" should be "our hotel's best patron." A very confusing rule, seeing as "it" is the complete reverse (its is possesive, it's is a contraction), but English is filled with messes like this. You get used to it all :p
I could have sworn that "Wonder Bolts" was one word, "Wonderbolts." Ignore me if I'm wrong :p
Ah, here you say "the three hundred's floor." You're implying that the three hundreds are in possession of the floor, so you want to say "the three hundreds floor," the third floor.
Oh, I thought that "friezes" was some odd typo :p Someone knows more about architecture than me :D
This sentence came across as odd here: "Faced the fire place, but you couldn’t help look at her from the corner of your eyes." Do you mean to say that "Facing the fireplace, you..." or that "Rainbow Dash was facing the fireplace, and [you] couldn’t help [but] look at her from the corner of your eyes." The origional sentence doesn't make it clear who exactly is doing the facing.
Still have a problem with odd capitalizations :p I noticed it is after commas; are you writing sentences, then replacing periods with commas after?
Soarin's antics made me laugh out loud :D
More apostraphie stuff: "ones dream" should be "one's dream."
"You didn’t know if she was at the hotel still, but it was at least worth a try, If she had left then you could wait until morning to find her, but you couldn’t wait until morning without at least trying to track her down a bit first." Way too may commas; if you have more than two in a sentence, you might want to rewrite it. A period instead of a comma at "was worth a try" would work.
So, still enjoying this a lot. Keep it up and tell me if I'm being annoying with all my nitpicking :p
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make it the best u can
will brake 
Glad to see i have a guardian Grammar angle watching my back. I just went through it and i think i got everything fixed, but thanks again for pointing stuff out.
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