After a rather rough day, Rainbow Dash sits alone on a cloud. She wallows away at her thoughts and what went wrong. However, an unexpected visit from Pinkie Pie reminds Dash of the true meaning of unconditional love from friends.
(The name takes a while to come into context with the story, as a side note.)
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Great story! You don't need the footnote to explain it. I was about to write a tragedy/sad fic after realizing I was going to fail at something too, but now I can't get through the smile your story brought to my face to tap into that sadness. It was a great idea, too, so I hope next time you'll ask permission before writing such a great pick-me-up of a story!
The absolute only change I can urge you to make to make the story perfect is to add that Rd (spoiler) couldn't recognize the other Wonderbolts because she was so nervous. As it is, it can almost suggest she isn't a big enough fan to have every face and stat and name memorized.
Maybe something like:
She recognized them from her complete Wonderbolts™ trading card collection, her nervousness wiped their names from her mind for the moment.
I also think that the thought of Rainbow having a coveted, mint collection of every Wonderbolt card is hilarious, yet totally believable. I can see her with a huge binder of them, alphebitized and in perfect condition. Hmmmm, may need to write a fic about that...
Wow, that was a long comment...
Great one! Fun little story foe evening entertaiment. Stalin loves slice of life. When autor not bringing anything new, just descripting characters as they is, is a pretty good thing! But your gaps between paragraphs can be a little smaller.
Overall, good work!
322756 Haha, I'd read that, it'd make for a very interesting story indeed! And I added to that line saying "... that for the life of her, Rainbow Dash couldn't remember the names of out of nervousness, though she did recognize them." It isn't much of an addition, but I think it does the job for what you meant. Thanks for the pointer!
322860 Thanks! Heh, the spacing is something I should remember when submitting. I tend to space it like that because it makes it easier for proofreading(not only by myself, but by my friend who proofreads my stories for me). However, I usually don't change it to regular spacing afterwards, which I should make a mental note to do. Otherwise, thanks for reading!
I must say, while the story is well written and I sympathize with RD, I was a bit disappointed that the pranks weren't actually pulled off in the story. The title feels like a bit of a lie in that regard.
But aside from that, I'm glad I read it.