Yarrr!! WeirdBeard be in the writing mood, or something. Idunno, probably'll edit this later.
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Master Treyson rocketed through the halls of the Academy. The rage he currently felt fueled his energy and added a fiery determination to his eyes. His robot assistant, Droiden, followed closely behind. However he became distracted by the innumerable potraits of Treyson adorning the walls. Trying to compensate for something?
"When this is all over, Droiden, I'm turning you into a toaster oven!" Treyson yelled. He continued his mad dash of insanity until they reached the giant oak doors of the council room. Treyson pounced at the obstacle and barged into his objective.
The counselors all gasped at the intrusion. "Master Treyson! What are you doing here? Aren't you writing another masterpiece?" one of the counselors asked.
"As fun as it would be telling you what's going on, I don't have time for this. Oh what an As Siam!" Treyson chanted. All of the counselors' eyes glazed over and their faces became emotionlessly stupid. "Good, now I have your full attention.". You know that old wizard was screwing you with that phrase, especially when you say it slow like that. "Quiet!" Treyson scolded the droid.
He returned his attention to the council. "Alright you clowns, listen up. My stepson is making a mockery of my life's work and I don't appreciate it. Not one bit," Treyson snarled. "Starscream, I need your fleet to mobilize in Ponyville. Waldo, we're gonna use your distraction skills. Bebop and Rocksteady... you two actually will stay, you're pretty worthless. Mighty Ducks, we'll let a catchy theme song. Our mission: Destroy that miserable dimension and annihilate Steve!"
One counselor shook his head, trying to get out of the daze. His hood fell down, revealing a volleyball for a head. "Nnngghhh, but why? It's nuts to go there with the change we'll undertake to pony physiology. Besides, Steve is righting his wrongs and you are ove-" Counselor Wilson managed to protest, but was cut off by Treyson.
"Oh what an Ah Siam!" he recited. Droiden chuckled, the idiocy that Treyson didn't recognize the sta- "Silence, bolt-bucket!" Wilson's struggling ceased and he reverted to the previous stupor. "There won't be any problems! I've completed a spell that will keep us normal, that way we don't attack each other. Now.. any questions?"
"Nooo," the counselors replied in monotone.
"Good. Now my minions, we end this," Treyson growled. He prowled out of the council-room, his paws moved with enraged excitement. He whispered, "Soon, Steve... very soon."
Okay, screw drama, Treyson's a lion. "Dangit, Droiden!" Makes sense, right?
AI MODE ENABLED
"Not exactly a proper way to say hello, son," Steve's dad (aka Mr. Waddle) stated, rubbing the bruise on his head.
Steve snorted. "Compared to the your goodbye- 'Go see what I did in the bathroom,'- I think this was called for, Draco," he retorted, holding back from kicking his dad.
"Do you think that I knew that was going to be the last time I saw you? I had no idea that blender was going to explode!" Draco muttered. He was becoming just as angry as Steve, but he breathed deeply to calm himself down. His stringy mane clung to his head from sweat in the dream exertion.
Steve shook his head. "We thought you were dead! Why didn't you come back? Why live in secrecy?! Didn't you want us?!" Steve yelled. Years of pent-up, unresolved anger were bubbling up to his memory. He placed himself directly inches from Draco's face. "Didn't you?!?"
They kept eye contact and remained silent for several minutes. The other ponies stood awkwardly before Twilight interjected, "We'll give you some privacy. C'mon, everypony."
Pinkie and Whooves slowly followed her, exchanging concerned glances. Erwin was busy still munching on his popcorn and watching the argument. Twilight grabbed his mane and pulled him away. He yelped, "Owowowow I want to see them fight!"
When the two were alone, Draco faltered his glare. "I'm sorry... Believe me, I never meant to hurt you and your mother. Man, she was such a cougar, rawrr-"
“Burn it all, Dad, focus!” Steve chided.
Draco blinked away his daydream. “Sorry ‘bout that. The truth is I tried everything to get back. Somehow that explosion had vaporized me here with almost all of my old power gone. Plus, I looked like this, so life wasn’t exactly a treat here either. Steve... I missed you, son,” he softly replied. They stood there, watching each other without a word said.
Steve finally broke the silence. “Look... I-” "OH SHIZ ALERT! OH SHIZ ALERT! AWOOOOGA! AWOOOOOOGAAAAA!” Erwin loudly interrupted.
“Dangit, Erwin, calm down for just a second! What’s going?!” Steve angrily questioned the nutter. Instead of properly answering, however, Erwin kept imitating an alarm and pushed Steve’s face upwards. “Oh... that’s cause for concern.”
The current concern was the new addition to the previously clear sky: more flying deathships than you could shake a stick at. “Deathships. Deathships EVERYWHERE,” Erwin announced, pointing a hoof at the machine decorated sky.
Twilight, Pinkie, and Doctor Whooves galloped to the summit where the other three were. The doctor’s eyes widened enormously and he shouted, “MOTHER OF CELESTIA! What did you do?!”
Pinkie squinted at one of the larger ships. “Who’s that?”
“Prepare for trouble!” a black-coated lion yelled from atop the flagship. Treyson’s black mane flowed wildly in the wind, revealing his crazed eyes.
“Make it doub-” “ENOUGH DROIDEN!” Treyson furiously shouted as he swatted his robot assistant down into the chasm. “One down, all of you to go! It’s kill one, kill them all extermination extravaganza! Bwahhahhahaha!” he cackled.
“I almost forgot how big of an idiot you are, Trey,” Draco called up to him.
Treyson’s right eye twitched madly. He stomped a paw brutishly on a button panel. The thrusters reversed and his ship lowered closer to the heroes. He sneered. “Well if isn’t ol’ Draco, back from the dead as a pathetic pony. You’ll wish you had stayed six feet under. Ready the weapons!” Treyson shouted.
At his command, the underside of the flagship revealed dozens of rockets. Steve shook Twilight out of her stupor. “Quick! Use your magic to stop those missiles!”
She nodded and focused her attention at the ship. her horn glowed brightly for a moment, but somehow flickered out like a candle. She blinked in confusion and woefully responded, “It’s not working! I can’t use my magic!”
“You can thank me for that, fools!” Treyson roared. He dangled a small iron ring from his claw. “This little trinket will make sure that none of your magic will interfere with my plans. Enough talk though, it’s death time! FIRE ZE MISSILES!”
The rockets ignited and propelled toward Steve and company. Time seemed to slow for him as a sudden realization came to here. In that short moment, he had a million thoughts occur in his head. Most notably, that he would die around friends. Friends.. the word seemed so alien to him. These ponies that had brought him so much trouble, yet a whole new adventure. They had become those closest to him, both figuratively and literally. In addition to that, he was finally reunited with his father. Resentment aside, he knew deep down that he loved his dad. That he cared for him as well as Pinkie, Twilight, Whooves, and even Erwin. The missiles neared closer and closer, fixing on one central point. Steve recognized this and shoved his comrades back down the hill. He gulped and jumped into the barrage of missiles.
The first detonation sparked a reaction of the remaining rockets, several chaining back to slightly damage the flagship. It buckled from the impact and Treyson struggled to hold onto his position. A thick smoke enveloped the area, but soon started to dissipate. Draco was the first back up the hill. He searched desperately for his son, but his efforts only uncovered a pony shaped crater where the rockets were targeted. “Steve! NOOOOO!!!!” he cried out.
Treyson gripped onto the command rail and pulled himself up. He coughed and laughed painfully. “At last! That insufferable welp is finally dead! Ohhohohoho, I have waited long for this moment and your grief is only adding to how sweet it really is.”
Twilight and Pinkie hugged Draco, comforting themselves only as much as they were comforting him. Even Erwin and Whooves were at a loss for words, their friend Steve was gone. “It can’t be, he can’t be gone!” Draco shouted sadly.
“Believe it, Draco! His story is over and there’s nothing you can do about it. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna level the rest of this disgusting land while you stay here crying like little babies. Toodles!” Treyson responded. He waved while the fleet started flying toward Ponyville. “Alright ya stupid ducks, let’s hear that triumphant theme song!”
“Master Treyson’s a big idiot, Master Treyson’s a big idiot, Master Treyson's a big idiot, song courtesy of Droiden!” the Mighty Ducks sang monotonically.
Treyson scowled. “I hate that robot.”
As the ships flew away, Twilight formed a plan. “We have to get to Canterlot and warn everypony about this!”
“And then what? Look at all that, Twilight, there’s nothing we can do!” Erwin flatly stated.
Pinkie Pie suddenly pulled out a military helmet and shoved it onto Erwin's head. “Pull yerself together, maggot! Those big meanies wanna destroy Equestria, but we’re gonna stop them!”
Twilight nodded. “Exactly, the Princesses can help and we can gather the Elements of Harmony.”
“As long as Treyson has that wonky anti-magic doodad, we can’t do much of anything!” Whooves replied.
“Enough!” Draco shouted. He pushed himself up and gazed in the direction of Canterlot. “We have to try. For Steve.. c’mon, we don’t have much time.”
The other ponies nodded and galloped quickly toward the capital. Twilight and Pinkie took up the lead, Whooves in the middle, and Erwin and Draco in the back. “Wait, what about that story that you always told Steve?” Erwin asked.
Draco raised an eyebrow in puzzlement. “What story?”
“You know, that one about right now and finding the Element of Insanity. Where is it?” the accountant questioned. “He said you knew about the ending.”
“Erwin, I have no idea what you’re talking about. I never told him any stories like that.”
“Great, that’ll make sense,” a dapper fellow mumbled to himself. He scratched his magnificent chin scruff in thought. The gent reclined back further on his chair, staring at his latest writing. He rubbed the bridge between his eyes. “How am I gonna pull this off?”
At that moment, a familiar green pony exploded into his room. The gent was surprised by the sudden change and fell out of his chair. Finally, he and Steve locked eyes. “AAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!” they both screamed. This kept up for several minutes before they ran out of breath and started coughing.
“You’re...*cough*... are you really... Steve?” the fellow asked.
Steve’s jaw dropped. “How do you know my name? Am I dead? Oh man, I’m dead, aren’t I? This sucks!”
The fellow shook his head. “No, you’re not dead. Well, I don’t know if I’m really sane enough to tell you that though. You did just explode into my room.”
Steve’s eyes shrank to pinpricks. “Wait... ohmygawd, you’re-”
“Shhh shh shh! Don’t say it, the universe might implode,” the fellow replied. “It looks like we have a little problem, my friend.”
“A little problem?! Treyson just rocketed me into oblivion, he’s probably attacking Ponyville now, and nothing’s making sense anymore!” Steve retorted.
The gent ran a hand through his hair. “I can explain.”
“Just answer me this... why?!”
“...I just... look. I may have had a hand in the beginning, but all of you still had the choice to go and do what you pleased. I never meant for this to happen,” he explained.
Steve shook his head in disagreement. “You shouldn’t have ever messed with us. What do you have to say for yourself?”
The gent remained quiet for a moment. “Steve, I know what I did was wrong. Back then I didn’t have a clue where this was going. Then suddenly, there was vigor within your universe. A whole new remarkable spark. Sure, a lot of things don’t make sense now, but isn’t that what life is? It’s one big ‘haha, what?’ that never ends and sometimes we just gotta accept that and make the best of it. I’m sorry.. but I do have a solution.”
“And what might that be?” Steve asked, still cynical of the whole situation.
The gent retrieved a black velvet bag from behind his chair and tossed it to him. “This will help you defeat Treyson. Go ahead, take a peek.”
Steve reluctantly caught the bag and looked within. His eyebrow raised and his skeptical attitude returned. “This? This will help me?”
“Listen, I know you’ve barely met me, but I’ve known you your whole life. That questioning personality of yours was always a pain in the butt. However, it’s brought you here now. All of this has to mean something. And I know you’ll discover that.. if you just trust me,” the fellow replied.
Steve pondered over this. He sighed deeply and said, “Okay, let’s do this.”
“That’s the spirit. Now hang on tight, I’m gonna beam you back into your proper place,” he explained. He scribbled a few things down and after a while, Steve began to glow.
“Hey,” Steve beckoned.
The gent looked back at him. “Yes?”
“Thanks WeirdBeard,” he whispered before being teleported out of the room.
The author was left alone in his room once again, the story back in his lap. “I’m gonna get so much crap for this.”
“Incoming mortars!” Erwin shouted. He pulled his friends back into the makeshift trenches before they were injured by the explosion. Erwin pushed his helmet back onto his head and surveyed the warzone. The pegasi were keeping many of the warships occupied with tornados, but a good number continued the bombing runs. The princesses had destroyed a few of the smaller ships by sheer force, but a jerk-off in red and white was currently stealing their attention. The unicorns and earth ponies were busy launching anvils and other heavy objects from rigged planks. Unfortunately, the battle was not going in their favor.
Treyson's ship maintained an overlooking position. He chuckled loudly. "At last, my masterpiece is coming together! Victory is mine!" he hollered.
Twilight lowered her head, an emotional breakdown beginning to overtake her. "I can't believe this! My magic's not working, the Elements of Harmony are missing, what do we do?!"
Draco grasped her shoulders. "You have to be strong! We can't give Trey this satisfaction, there has to be something else we can do."
They looked to one another in hopes of an idea, but their sullen expressions proved otherwise. A loud crack of thunder echoed above them. They searched the sky for the source, but only the still intact deathsips filled their sights. Except for that tiny, black storm cloud.
Steve's eyes readjusted from the blinding teleport. The wind whipped furiously around his frame as he free-fell from the high altitude. "Crapcrapcrapcrapcrap!" he yelled in surprise.
He finally breathed and realized he was above Ponyville and the deathship fleet. The bag given to him was still firmly clutched in his hoof. Steve opened it up quickly and grasped the contained item. "I hope this works!" he screamed and put on the mask. At first nothing happened, but Steve felt something inside of him change.
Treyson's ship descended to Draco's level. The carnage all around had left everyone exhausted and injured. A momentary standstill was in effect for both sides except for Treyson and Draco. "It's been real. It's been fun. But it hasn't been real fun, old friend. Goodbye," he snidely said. A giant laser cannon unsheathed from the cockpit and began charging.
Draco's face drained from fear, but he noticed a strange twinkle high above him. "No way," he uttered. A sudden explosion rocked the hull of Treyson's ship, something had punched clean through.
He stumbled onto his command rail. The black lion angrily searched the sky for the source. "WHAT?!"
"Awwww yeeeeeaaahhhh!" Steve proclaimed triumphantly. The hero was now wearing a golden luchador wrestling mask and was actually FLYING. "Guess who's back!"
Pinkie stared up at him. "Ohhhh.. the element of insanity is a luchador mask. That makes sense!" she excitedly reasoned. Erwin raised an eyebrow at her.
"Andale pues!" Steve shouted. He jettisoned through the battle torn sky and crippled the remaining deathships. The resulting damage caused them to explode out to orbit, Steve flying in epic fashion from the flames. In another universe at a different time, Micheal Bay just shed a tear.
Treyson's ship was losing altitude, alarms blaring from within the interior. He kept his hold on the railing, cursing all the while, "No! NO! NOOOOO! I HATE YOU SO MUCH, STEVE!" His ranting produced nothing however other than having to bail from his ship before it crash-landed. He brushed himself off and watched Steve land in front of him.
"Que honda microond- *cough* Ahem! Sup stupid? Ready for the beat down of a lifetime?! Steve questioned his nemesis.
Treyson produced a disapproving tsk. "So you found the Element of Insanity, big whoop! You won't stop the completion of my masterpiece!"
By this point the two were surrounded by ponies and the last survivors of the council. The current argument had garnished their curiosity and they proceeded to watch Treyson and Steve. The two circled each other as opponents in a match. "You keep going on about that, why?! It's over!" Steve replied.
"That's what you think you miserable twit. I have been in control of this ever since Draco's "accident". Do you really believe that wasn't on purpose? I tried to kill him, but somehow his stupid dragon magic saved him. I replaced the council's will with my own, they were my puppets this whole time. All of this I have done for my perfect legacy!" Treyson shouted.
The continuing revelations caused everyone around them to mutter to one another. "You've screwed around enough, Trey. You're finished," Steve replied coolly.
"No Steve, it is you who will be defeated!" Treyson madly screamed. He pulled a dagger out of his mane and pounced at Steve.
"Steve, look out!" Twilight shouted.
However, Steve remained perfectly still with cool composure. He reeled his hoof back and punched upwards. The raw power rippled through the air, shattering Treyson's blade and knocking him back down. Surprise washed over his face as Steve cantered towards him. He smiled and said, "I hope you're ready for how awesome and insane this is gonna be."
Steve grabbed Treyson and rocketed high into the air. Erwin started pumping his hoof and chortled madly. "Yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes, FINISH HIM!"
Treyson's screams were drowned out by the wind-speed. Steve closed his eyes and reversed their ascend into a downward spiral. That's right, he was gonna do the craziest move ever. A FREAKIN' SPINNING PILE-DRIVER!
The insane speed of their descent caused flames to build around them as they neared closer and closer to the ground. For several ponies, the awesome was just too much to handle and they immediately passed out. However, for the brave souls that continued to watch, they would only be able to recount the event at later times in one word: LEGENDARY.
Steve slammed Treyson into the ground, a massive crater and dust-cloud formed from the impact. It took several minutes before it was visible again, but soon the ponies witnessed Steve emerge from the rubble. He raised a hoof, holding a tiny snow globe. "TA DA!"
A deafening cheer sounded forth from everyone, Treyson's tyranny was finally over. They surrounded Steve and lifted him above their heads. "Let's hear it for Steve!" Pinkie shouted.
In response the crowd began to chant, "Steeeeveeee! Steeeeveeee! Steeeveeee! HOORAY!"
The party continued on throughout the night, many accounts of the battle being retold once more. Steve excused himself from all the attention and trotted to an empty field. The clean-up of Ponyville was already completed by the council, their freedom sprouting forth unceasing kindness. Steve stared up at the beautiful night sky, the stars seemingly twinkling in corresponding celebration. "Hey."
Steve turned around to see his father and his friends approaching. "You did amazing today, son. I'm proud of you," Draco said with a smile.
"Thanks Dad. Thanks to all of you, too, I couldn't have done it without you," Steve replied, grinning at his friends.
"Aw shucks, chum, it was cutting close there, but it all turned out alright," Whooves responded.
Erwin simply smiled and bro-hoofed Steve. "Thank you, my friend."
"Yeah, this was a terrific adventure after all!" Pinkie shouted, hugging Steve.
Twilight trotted closer to them with a smile. "I'm glad you found your dad, too. Thanks, Steve," she said and lightly kissed his cheek. D'awwwwwwwwww.
Her face scrunched in confusion. "One thing that I've been trying to figure out is this whole narration thing. If Treyson's contained in that snow globe and his spells are completely broken, then who's still keeping this going?"
Steve thought for a moment before responding. "Ya know.. I think the important part is that we have each other. Besides, even if a LOT of this didn't make sense, we still got a happy ending. Now c'mon, let's get some cake!"
His friends let out a cheer and they cantered back to the party. Steve hung behind and glanced at the night sky one more time. "Thanks... I owe you one," he whispered before trotting away. "Oh, one last thing."
Steve turned and stared through your computer screen. Yes, YOUR computer screen. "Good night, good luck, and...well, you know the rest."