Scootaloo has the day off and spends it with Rainbow Dash.
Alternate Tag: Feels.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I love it!
So touching. This is fantastic.
Ow, run-on sentence. There's at least three sentences in there.
And there we have a sentence fragment instead.
You forgot to capitalize "Wednesday", and I don't understand why you split "today" into two words.
Needs to start with a capital letter, and needs a comma offsetting "boy" from the rest of the sentence.
You're using the contraction for "it is" here: "it is time for me", so you want to use "it's".
The word you want is "shone", a variation of the word "shine".
Again, this needs to be "it's", and I suggest you brush up on avoiding to/too/two errors.
"Good night, Tank." Any time someone is addressed directly in dialogue, there needs to be a comma between their name and the rest of the sentence.
It's a nice story, but it needs some polishing.
3657016 Not sure what to do with the run on sentence, but I spit shined the rest of the fic.
I can't say sleeping with a stuffed replica of your surrogate sister is healthy, but it was a great story none the less
such a great story
I had a sneaking suspicion by the second paragraph it was gonna be a story like this. its hard for me to understand how short stories like this leave soo many feels for me
Tank still being around is interesting. not many would think of how a tortoise would far outlive its owner
her sleeping with a plush of here 'sister'/adoptive mother is kinda weird. maybe if it said it was something she had since she was a filly before being adopted being it would sound less creepy
keep up the good work
Well, that was certainly a surprisingly unsurprising development, in a good way, of course. I found the very future of this universe we all make videos and stories of, shall be of the inevitable end of the Element bearers and the beginning of new ones. Time goes on, if not in a blink, a life can decimate down to ashes and dirt.
The world goes on, we cannot stop it to keep on turning. To keep on moving. If someone very special to our own selves dies, we view the world to slow down the moment you have seen them lay unconscious and unlike that of a dropped mannequin, just so that we can feel the very importance they have on the world. But in reality, the world just spins normally, for you are not remembering them for their importance to the world.
You are remembering them for their importance and effect on your life.
I should have paid more attention to the "Feels" tag. I didn't expect Dashie to be dead.
Grammar Nazi time!
This happens multiple time. Replace period with comma and make "Said" lower-case
This is an adverbial dependent clause. The rule for adverbial dependent clauses is that if they are before the independent clause, then a comma should be added. (Add a comma after "empty")
For more information on dependent clause comma usage, please read the lecture in the School for New Writers group: http://www.fimfiction.net/group/916/school-for-new-writers/thread/30670/lecture-dependent-clauses-or-why-your-commas-are-mostly-wrong
4569006 When an error is that small, its a typo.
4570073 and now i feel like a dick.......
very sorry for that
4574103 Nah, its fine.
*Insert shameless innuendo here.*
That one dislike will probably burn in hell.
how did rainbow die?
6291013 This story isn't about that. So, you can decide for yourself.
Extra tag of feels is right.
pretty good story, I almost cried, you were right about the feels