It has been a couple of months since Luna's first Nightmare night since she had returned. Now, Hearth's Warming Eve is upon Equestria. Luna, despite feeling much more welcomed into this new era since that Nightmare night, her mind still wanders. Even dipping into slight loneliness. But her mind soon clears as she comes up with an idea to once again meet the pony who was able to clear her thoughts of loneliness.
Pipsqueak.
Written for Christmas/Hearth's Warming Eve 2013. Happy Holidays everyone!
Chapters (2)
This is interesting, I'm looking forward to seeing where this goes.
Wow will follow this seems good
Aww come on!!
There's got to be more of this story!!
Only one chapter so far?! (I just did a search for 'Luna')
This is off to a good start. Please keep the Princess in character and don't filly-ize her to OOC and unbelievable lengths.
You sound like a good author from what is written so far.
Faved to follow it and Thumbs Up!
3656295 All advice is appreciated my friend. Out of curiousity, what would be said lengths? And thank you so much for enjoying thus far
Looks good so far.
3657206 Thank you
Very sweet, just saw one error.
that said she is his
Other than that I wanna see more
Cute. Can't wait to see what happens
3657083
It's done by novice writers who have a good story premise but push it too far and the story is only about that one direction and nothing else makes much sense.
An example would be a Star Trek Voyager fan fiction where the captain of the ship and the ship's only child had a transporter accident. They beamed back on board together but switched bodies (and no one else in the crew realised this).
This seemed like a fun premise & I started reading. But lost interest when characters were seriously OOC. ie- the Captain keeping it a secret and living the girl's life with her mother, while the girl in the Captain's body did her best to command the ship.
......really...??? Like a starship captain would do that. Sounds fun? Perhaps. Sounds realistic / believable? Nope.
A better way to do it would be how an actual episode of Star Trek Next Generation did it. The captain and two others had a transporter accident which turned them back into children / adolescents. After consulting his crew, the captain gave command of the ship to his next in command until the issue was resolved.
A deus ex machina event appears whereby the starship is attacked, boarded and conquered. The captors proceed to take all adults off the ship, using them as slave labour on a nearby planet. Dun dun dunnnn....!!! The all important captain uses his childlike appearance and mannerisms to surprise captors and take his ship back.
Bad way. And good way. The good way keeps everyone in character and the story is believable. Sure, the deus ex machina invasion was convenient, but plausible. An actual episode.
Keep Luna real and you will have a splendid story!!
EDIT:
Of course Luna can have fun!! Just as Celestia "had fun" while disguising herself as a normal pony one day, and allowing herself to be kidnapped by some street thugs, just for kicks. (another fanfic on this site which was good to read and not OOC as far as comedy goes).
I guess it's up to your writing - I'm not actually a good writer so I feel a bit cynical giving feedback to real writers sometimes. But you'll do it!
I really love it!
Gimme MORE!
(xD just kidding~)
3678359 Thank you
Next chapter should be up soon, the holidays have kept me pretty busy 
not my fav Pip ship but it seems interesting^^
Why am I getting a shenanigans feeling of her trying to make a gingerbread house?
Because I learned when someone says how hard it can be it turns out it's really hard.
3829678 Never made one myself, but I want to try one day
Luna's adorable
This is funny. I hope this continues. Look out Luna, you may have to explain why Celestia is taking you home.
Oh gods my sides, Luna;s face had me dying, I love this chapter, I can't wait for more
Sooooooooooooooooooooooooo... The history os dead?