Discolight? DISCOLIIIGHT!

Tracking.

Well, let's see where this takes us!

Color me intrigued tracking!

>>321111321111

I find the lack of Discolight on FIMfiction disturbing.

>>321238321238

Certainly agreed.

I WANT MORE NOW

Edit: WRONG STORY, but I still want more

>>321307321307

The second chapter is actually quite close to finish, but it is so late here, I have to go and get some sleep. I leave you with a promise of a next chapter tomorrow!

EDIT: HAHAHAHA, you made my morning, lol! xD Thanks anyway, haha :P

It's pretty good so far~! I'll keep an eye on it.

heheh Hellements of Armory... stay out of my shed.

But seriously other than the multitude of spelling and gramatical errors good fic.

I saw it was DiscoLight and immediately tracked it. Then I read it and it only makes me wish I could track it again. Can't wait for tomorrow.

Dron't U Gust hait speeling and Gramaritacal errers?

Fix some of the grammar errors. I can auto-correct some of them as I read, but others I had to stop and reread sentences.

Still, tracking anyways. And personally, I wouldn't have removed all his powers, just most of them.

You have a lot of weird errors scattered about, I think this may have needed another edit or two. The premise is interesting so I'll track it, but you seem to need to add some polish to your work.

Ooooh this should be good. I've always been a fan of the Twilight-Discord pairing but you really don't see very many if any stories with that pairing. I'm looking forward to seeing how she fall's for Discord and how all of equestria will react to it. Somehow i don't think her parents her teacher and some of her friends will approve. I can see Rarity trying to set up Twilight with a somepony when she finds out. Hey i don't suppose you know about any other stories with this pairing.

>>321726321726

Yes I do, a lot of people have been complaining about those, so I will definitely proofread it... again. I am really bad at that, haha. Thanks for the warning.

>>321999321999

Thanks for the warning, I will definitely get to it soon.

Finally, a dedicated Discolight fic.  Tracking automatically, man.

You could do with some more proofreading, though.  Definitely caught some mistakes in there.  No worries, though :).

>>323499323499

Haha thanks, the next chapter should be up in the next hour or so ( I think ).

Aww, shucks, would it be too much of me to ask you which mistakes were those? At least one or two, I hate being grammatically incorrect.

>>323505323505

Good lord, in the next hour?  Like Xmas, this is.

I've got about... *counts on fingers*... five exams to study for right now, so I haven't got the time for a good old-fashioned listing.  But when I grab a study break, I'll go through and write 'em up, send you a PM, ya?

>>323523323523

Wow, I too am having exams soon! And yet, here I am, writing fanfiction. I do understand your educational obligations, so leave and don't come back 'till you learn your stuff!

Oh that would be wonderful, thank you. Hear ya later!

Sweet Jesus I want more!

also my first first. yay!

>>323926323926

Holy snap, Flutterage! Run for your life!

Thank you~! I'm planning on making a chapter a day (if I have the time, of course) so expect a new chap tomorrow!

unless your trying to make Celestia sound stresed i call OOC Celestia. ("I totally did say that; did I not, Luna?") <-- totally? to me all of it sound OOC but realy "totally"?

choas chess does sound fun have to give it a try

good chapters so far as well can not wait to read moooooooorrrrrrrreeeeeeee

Not entirely grammatically correct, I'm afraid (very entertaining though!). You missed some commas throughout the chapter, and at one point you typed "have up" instead of "gave up," which confused me for a bit.

Also, that version of chess sounds terribly confusing.

>>324198324198

Actually, I was trying to make her sound more like "Trollestia". Because this is supposed to be comedy-ish, Celestia is rarely ever as elegant and whatnot in here as she is in cartoon. I'm making her a bit silly and childish - I also personally do imagine Celestia like a quite regular pon- I mean Alicorn in front of peopl--I mean ponies whom she is well familiar with.

Hope it didn't ruin it for ya, though.

Would it be to much to ask for a slightly more detailed instruction for that chees game? like the order the changes go and if its the piece that got moved or all pieces? Would be hilarious to play.

>>324769324769

Wow, that would be complicated to write; but interesting too. I might make a one-shot about it once I get more time to though, you gave me a pretty sweet idea! ;)

>>324328324328 not at all just gives me an OOC feel. so how about the chees rules? i would love to get those.

Edit: guess i got the last part out 24 seconds to late.

Heh, I find this to be amusing. I love the idea of chess where all the pieces roles switch each turn. The only way to make it more horribly complicated and Chaotic would be to do that to 3D Chess. Now THAT would be a mess.

I am looking forward to the next chapter

I am going to try this new chess.

>>325032325032

That's what I was thinking off, too. I'm totally trying it tomorrow. xD

I LIKE where this is going. I have to admit I wasn't a fan when this story began, but by the end of the second chapter, I was pleasantly surprised by the direction the story was going in. Discord is a nice mix between evil and merely chaotic, and although the mane six weren't GREAT, there wasn't anything in the story that annoyed me too much about them that was beyond forgiveness.

It seems like the story is just starting to get into it, so I think I'll hold back my further thoughts and predictions until it gets a little further in.

Until then~

XD That was hilarious! and very well written.

Am I the only one who thinks this song should be the DiscoLight shipper anthem?

>>326367326367

Oh God. That is so... SO perfect.

I salute you, I never heard this song before.

>>326372326372

Now make an AMV of it it!

>>326381326381

Even a better idea! I'm off to start learning using Windows Movie Maker!

>>325032325032 Would you mind telling me how you do when you play it? if you havent played it, mind telling me how you see the rules for Discords adition to the rules?

>> Niklashg I haven't played it yet, but as I read the discription, I believe that the roles of the prices rotate so the left side rook will actually be a knight and the left side knight will be a bishop. Then, for each round of turns the peices swap again, this time the rook is a bishop and the knight is a queen or king , depending on the color. If a piece is taken, it still takes place on the rotation,but you can't use it. So if the rook is taken, the next turn the taken rook is a knight and the pawn that is next will be the new rook for a turn, and so forth. Hope I helped.

>>326965326965

>>326905326905

Actually, I was just playing this with my brother - while it is fun, it IS extremely complicated. But that IS what makes it fun.

The most plausible solution if you want to play it SERIOUSLY, is to numerize the figures, because a piece will always substite the piece it was originally next to - and once you scatter the pieces across the board, it is hard to keep track unless you have them numerised. Of course, if you in the end only want to pretty much just fool around (much like Twilight and Discord), numerising isn't needed. :D Instead, you can switch roles not by the original order of the pieces, but by their current position, which is also a fancy way of playing - a bit easier that is.

As for the roles of the pieces; once, for example, your opponent takes your ACTUAL PIECE that represents the Queen, that role automatically disappears from the board, but if he takes, for example your PAWN with the ROLE of the Queen, the pawn role is the one that disappears. (of that one pawn only, naturally)

The changing roles rotation is clockwise, by the way. xD

Hope I helped!

♫♥I look forward to reading what happens next in your story♥♪

Awesome song is awesome so's the chapter.

this just keeps getting better and better keep it up

You bastard got me singing the whole damn song after it popped up there!

Vertigo! Vertigo Everywhere! Sounds fun

>>327981327981

Excellent. *sinister look*

Awesomeness! ^-^ phenominal chapter, keep it up!

One question. (great chapter by the way) how did twilight stand on the cloud? discord got no powers so it was not him and she dident do anything before going down.

>>328018328018

Meh, I didn't really feel the need to explain that she used magic to get on the cloud. I could edit it in easily, though.

This, my good pony, is some incredibly awseome shit.

I am loving every word of it.

ah discord, your a funny nephew. So dos this mean Twilight will be my, is it niece-in-law or something?

Quite a bit of grammatical errors, but I like how this is turning out.

Really love the way this is going.

>>328034328034 its the smal things that i notice =)

>>330117330117

I should work on writing them in too, then; even small things count!

Quoting M. Bison:

YES! YES!

Twilight had a real scare this chapter but it seems to have made her realize the feelings she's developing for Discord.

DiscoLight?...

Image: http://images.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw3637-1330097145371495.gif

FREAKING LONG CHAPTER. How come I always start with a simple idea, and it develops into such a huge text?

Don't get discouraged or intimidated when this happens. Chapters are always supposed to be packed with Content, one of the Big Five of Good Writing (The other four being Information, Variation, Characterization, and Flow).

I could point out the spelling mistakes, but here's the thing: I shouldn't have to! Here's what I suggest doing:

Write your chapter in one sitting. Wait a few days, then return to it and read it beginning to end. You will notice most of the problems--whether it's pacing, grammar issues, or sentence structure--and then you can fix them. Doing it this way prevents a good majority of writing mistakes, and helps improve and tighten your writing.

One problem I have with the overall story though is that I think Twilight, not having proper understanding of things like falling in love, should probably encounter her feelings for Discord with utter confusion. She doesn't know what her feelings for him are; there are a lot of complications: Twilight doesn't quite "get" love, Discord almost destroyed Ponyville, she's a hero, he's a villain... there are a lot of obstacles in the way of a possible relationship.

Having Twilight just blurt that she thinks she's falling for him seems amateurish to me, and you're capable of better storytelling than that! Treat romance like it's more of a force than a concept. Make it seem natural and realistic. You can do this!

<(KEEP TRY)

>>334398334398

Thank you for a nice detailed post! Your suggestion for waiting for a few days  before posting seems pretty good, actually, I know that worked on several ocassions when I read my older works of fanfics. xD

As for Twilight "falling in love" - I never specifically mention love on purpose, (does "falling for someone" automatically mean seriously loving them? I'm seriously asking, because my English ain't exactly fluent, so I may have screwed up the expression xD), I planned on merely stating that she started to see Discord in a light that is much more different than just friendly.

But I think Twilight is a girl-- I mean mare, smart or should I say emotional enough to know whether she is or not feeling something different that a regular feeling of friendship; truth to be told that whole "what is this I'm feeling" thing is something I really can not stand, because it usually stretches on for so long, and once the person actually admits to themselves they are in love with someone, everything pretty much remains the same. So I decided, heck, Twilight may not be the most romantic pony or anything, but she is honest to herself and knows enough of love to realize if she's feelin' any.

Now as for the conflicts you mention, confrontation of her growing feeling, and even asking herself how in the heck that happened (next chapter? ;D) etc, I have all of that in preparation for the chapters to come - but I do think that Twilight would notice something is different and admit it to herself. Notice that she admits it to herself at the very end of the chapter, so more details on how exactly does she feels and what she thinks of it is the thing to discuss in next few I don't know how many chapters. Don't worry, I definitely don't plan on letting them go on a date, or something that cheesy, hahahah

Thanks for the comment once again; I do understand what the problem was with this chapter in your case, but I also hope you see where did all that came from, haha.

EDIT: First long fanfic chapter, and now huge post. Not cool. xD

Great chapter but one thing i got to say. "Cross my heart and hope to die, stuck a cupcake in my eye!" read word number 7. then think about what you have done and fix it. also its "stick a cupcake in my eye" not stuck.

>>335107335107

Argh, that was a bloody typo! Thanks!

Edit: Also, you don't like my grim version? XD Fine, fine, I'll fix it. xD

i am clearly discord, and my girlfriend is close to be twilight

anyway, i love this story so far,

Discolight Deployed! D:

Don't worry, I think most of us enjoy long chapters.

Don't worry, long chapters just means more of this amazingness! very nicely done, and that was a clever title

To be honest, i love long chapters. Helps me procrastinate!

>>342189342189

I totally know what you mean.

I love long chapters makes for a longer story and the title was good.

Ah, this reaction of Twilight's is more believable. Backing away from the growing feelings within her and observing it under a lens of logic and analysis, coming to a more sensible conclusion. Very good save.

I'm glad you're proofreading your stuff now. But next time, to truly diminish the number of spelling or grammar mistakes, try to proofread with the help of a friend or family member. I find they usually catch the stuff you missed; four eyes are better than two, after all! Not to mention, they can sometimes suggest a better way to construct a sentence, so keep in mind that they can help you in more than one way.

>>342536342536

Thanks, I am glad you liked Twilight's reaction in the end, I must say I had a bit of a hard time explaining her current state; in fact I was looking forward to your comment, you always offer me some constructive criticism. ^^

The construction of a sentence is often my biggest problem, I'm pretty sure it is kind of obvious. My family speaks English worse than me though, so there's no help from them, hahhha. As for friends... as if I'd show this to anyone I know. Except to the people online.

>>342649342649

So English isn't your first language?   I... kinda wish I'd known, I'm sorry if I came off as too harsh before.

But you might want to show this to your friends in order to get it proofread. And if they ARE your friends, I don't think they'll mind if you wrote a shipfic about cartoon characters. If they ARE your friends, they'll be more interested in the fact that you are attempting to build a talent. If they ARE your friends, they'll support you in any way they can.

That's just what friends do. So don't be afraid or discouraged, OK?

>>342836342836

Nope, it isn't. Haha, sorry, I probably should've pointed that out. Oh, no need to apologize, I want you to be harsh! I want to get everything right, so don't let that stop you, hehe.

You make it sound like friends in real life are much like friends from My Little Pony, hahaha They would think I'm the weirdest chick ever. If I was writing a Naruto fanfic (God forbif), they may understand, but when it is about MLP, it is a whole other story.

I do have a fellow writer on the Internets though, so I might ask her for help. Thanks for the support!

>>342864342864

You do that.

(Is it really that weird that a girl is interested in a chow about cute little ponies? I mean, if it were a dude, I could see why they'd think it's weird, especially if they aren't bronies themselves. )

>>342876342876

Trust me, here where I live, if you're a metalhead you're already kind of an outcast in certain social circles.

I personally think I'm the only person in my country that watches this show, hahahahah

EDIT: Not counting the little kids, though we aren't even airing MLP.

This is very intertaining, my friend, please keep up the good work!

-smith,smith

>>343636343636

Thank you, I surely will do my best!

The "it does" in the part where Discord finds out that Twi is taking notes is supposed to be "it is".

This is very interesting, and I wish to see how far the romance goes.

EDIT: I SHALL CONTINUE MY GRAMMAR/SPELLING CORRECTION SPREE

As she raised her head, the mentioned piece remained stuck on her skin for a little while, before falling down on the board and producing a small clacking noise; leaving a somewhat painful sensation on her face. That semicolon should be a comma. The semicolon is used often in formal writing, often as a list of objects, topics, reasons, etc. In some situations, it can be used replacing a period.

"You have got to be kidding me!" she growled, and finally gave up . No space goes between the last word of a sentence and the punctuation mark ending said sentence.

Not wanting to know what happened, yet thinking she better gets it over with, Twilight descended down to face an interesting scene: Paper Crease was huddled over his computer, apparently checking through something. The interesting thing was that he had found that someone had accidentally typed in an "s" after "get" in a situation in which such a word would not fit.

"Discord." she addressed him sternly, apparently surprising the Spirit as the bottles nearly feel from his hands. This one should be easy to see. It should be two "l"s instead of two "e"s.

He  turned triumphantly to Twilight, his talon finger pointing at her in an extremely dramatic way; but allover he obvously had the intention of looking interesting. First off, you double spaced right at the start. Secondly, that semicolon should be a comma. Third, I believe you meant to say "over all" (almost like saying "generally") instead of "allover". Fourth and finally, that "obvously" is missing an "i" between the "v" and the "o".

Despite the fact Discords' words shoud've worried her, Twilight felt a b it impressed. There's the "b" and "it" are supposed to be together, silly filly! Also, a lesson I've almost forgotten by now, having an apostrophe before the "s" represents one's owning of something. That is what you need there instead of what you have, which would represent multiple beings owning one or multiple things. I also nearly forgot to mention that somehow both "shoud've" and "should've" aren't words in the dictionary despite the fact that "should've" is obviously an actual word with a contraction.

It would be that bad if he didn't decide to spray the whole thing with an old can of fake snow. Need a contraction here! That "would" should be a "wouldn't".

"Oh right, I have to tell you this one; so there I was, sitting on this pony's window, preparing to throw a pot in front of some stallion that was walking right underneath, and I notice, window is ajar! So I sneaked in and slowly and quietly woke up the somepony in their bed - you should've seen that look on that mares' face, oh my!" I don't know if the "window is ajar!" part is incorrect on purpose. Even then, at the end of the sentence, there's another apostrophe issue where the apostrophe is to go before the "s" and not afterwards.

They were rising towards the cloudy sky and soon found themselves in the thick white cloudy mist. And then, the blinding power of the Sun. No sentence should start with "and". I suggest connecting the two by removing the period as well as the "and" then moving the comma to between "mist" and "then". I also suggest adding the word "in" between "then" and "the". I think that was a bit too long and annoying to understand... Here. "They were rising towards the cloudy sky and soon found themselves in the thick white cloudy mist, then in the blinding powers of the sun.

"Twilight Sparkle, what in the world are you doing with your eyes closed? Your lack of interest disappoint me." Discord is disappoint in Twilight. "ed" is missing from the end of "disappoint".

He didn't respond, and Twilight couldn't take it anymore; she opened her eyes and loudly gasped, which drew a wise smile on Discord's face. "wise" or "wide"? Your choice.

She laid down and burried her face into her bent legs. I do believe you mean "buried", as "burried" is not a word.

"Oh hello Twilight! Discord. "he added, a bit less enthusiastic. There should be no space between the quotation mark and the spoken sentence, while there should be a space between it and the written sentence.

It's a shame that spring break is almost over for me. Once it's done, I'll probably never be able to do this again...

Have a nice day!

Nice that him being given a present happened today (March 20).

Why? Because it's Jon de Lancie's birthday. :)

>>346117346117

DUDE. NO WAY.

Color me amazed! This is just getting better and better! Thanks for the info, hahaha

"I find myself enjoying long chapters for some reason, but I'm sure you don't. Sorry. xD"

How dare you! i love long chapters gives me time to do somthing!

>>346840346840

Wow, people really responded to that comment of mine.

It is just that I noticed many people prefer a single long chapter broken into more short chapters - but I obviously noticed badly.

It is a relief to hear ya'll like long chapters, because I have a feeling they can only get longer.

I noticed a MAJOR AND COLOSSAL SPELLING ERROR.

You misspelled the HeLEMeNts oF ARMorY.

EDIT FINISHED ABOUT AN HOUR (WITHOUT BREAKS) AFTER COMMENTING:

On a more serious note, there were a few things that I noticed.

Grammar/Spelling Errors:

"You're right. Thank you for giving me courage, Tia. Thanks to you...I know everything will end alright."

There needs to be a comma after the three period thing, which is apparently named a ellipsis.

"Oh goodness, I completely forgot about that!" she sighed with a small frown. "Seriously, that draconequus can be so bothersome sometimes; even while enchanted in stone." I do believe you mean encased in stone, not enchanted.

Twilight responded, with undoubtedly joyful smile on her face and even sparkier look in her purple eyes.

There needs to be an "an" right between "with" and "undoubtedly".

Rarity clicked her tongue, but said nothing - she, along with Rainbow Dash was the most against the decision the Princesses made. The part where it says "along with Rainbow Dash" is an interrupter. It, of course (example right here!), interrupts the sentence. Interrupters have commas before and after them, but yours is missing a comma after it. It should be "she, along with Rainbow Dash, was most against the decision the Princesses made." Also, the grammar seems somewhat awkward here, although it is your choice to fix it or not.

Twilight finally informed them all of the big news with the most splendid smile she could pull of. Of. Off. Of. Off.

I forgot what words like these are called, but they are spelled similar and are commonly mistaken with each other.

"What's the problem?!" Twilight asked, slightly confused; the clueless pony wasn't expecting such a rage outburst. Raging, rage-filled, etc. Just don't make me somehow feel awkward with this sentence, please...

"I need your support here guys; I am really, really looking forward to this project. I mean who knows, if it goes well with Discord, me might all even become... well... friends." "me" and "we", similar to the "of" and "off" situation, though not by nearly as much.

"Did you bring the Elements? Oh good, let's get this over with nice and quick." Celestia said almost lazily. Luna hoofpalmed, and Twilight shared confused looks with her friends. One, the word "good" in the second sentence serves as an interrupter and requires a comma afterwards. Also, "hoofpalmed". To facepalm is to put your palm to your face, usually as a sign of annoyance or frustration. To facehoof is to put your hoof to your face, usually as a sign of annoyance or frustration. Logically, to hoofpalm would be to put your hoof to your palm, usually as a sign of annoyance or frustration. However, I know of no creature that has both a front hoof as well as a palm.

And then a high pitched sounds of spell doing its job. Sentences, if not casual speak, are not supposed to begin with "but", "and", "or", and other similar words. "but" and "or" can be replaced with "however", while "and" can usually be replaced by "also" or "then", depending on the sentence. In this sentence, there is already a "then", so you can remove the word "and" as well as the letter "a" (which needed to be removed anyways) and capitalize the "t" in "then".

For a few moments nothing but pure white light was visible, the spell done, hum of the remaining magical force still heard in the air. This sentence doesn't make sense. It is a "run-on" sentence, in child's terms, as those are the only terms I can think of off the top of my head. It is supposed to be split into several sentences but instead continues on, hence the name. The split between the two sentences should be a period after "visible". While I'm still talking about this sentence, there should be a comma after "moments" and something to properly connect "hum of the remaining magical force heard in the air" to the rest of the sentence.

The statue was gone, instead of it visible a familiar tall silhouette of a draconequus, towering triumphally over them. That "triumphally" looks rather silly and improper. As a matter of fact, it isn't even a word! I believe you meant to type in "triumphantly" and somehow missed the "n" and "t", followed up by hitting "l" twice instead of once.

"I must say, your stone-enhancing spell is getting weaker and weaker dear Elements. I broke out with literally no effort at all. Maybe you should enhance each other in stone for practice." he finished darkly. Again, I believe you meant to say "encased" instead of "enhanced" or "enchanted".

"Hello there Discord." Shouldn't there be a comma after "there"?

Celestia, deary,as much as I like the fact your sense of humor is back after all these years, you need to work on it a little bit more. Well, a lot more, to be honest." the draconequus grinned as he snapped his fingers confidently, expecting to be on the other side of Equestria in the mater of seconds. Several errors in these sentences. The comma that comes after "deary" needs a space between itself and "as". Also, seeing as you hadn't started a sentence and put his words between it, the word "the" right after he finishes speaking needs to be capitalized. Finally, at the very end of the sentence, the word "the" before the word "mater" (which needs to be "matter", by the way) needs to be replaced with the letter/word "a".

Better Grammar Suggestions:

"So this is it." I suggest a comma right after "So".

"There is no reason to be afraid Luna. This is the way it has to be. Otherwise, it'll only hurt more, the more we put it off." I think there should be a comma right after "afraid".

"Miss Luna~ I hear you haven't been at the dentist in quite a while! It has been what, a couple hundred years? A millenium?! Good grief, let's check those royal teeth of yours!" Perhaps an ellipsis or comma after that "what"?

"Princess Celestia, forgive me for saying this but... you seem almost careless about this." Twilight said what all of her friends were thinking. It is easy to understand what you mean, but "careless" implies that they may also be ruthless about it. Princess Celestia seemed uncaring, which is similar but excludes the implication of ruthlessness.

Now that my wall of text consisting purely of grammar and spelling corrections has come to an end, I have two things to say to you.

1: I actually sometimes enjoy spelling and grammar checks when I do them of my own free will in my own free time.

2: If I were any less lacking in sleep and some form of energy, then I would have never even have considered being as specific and rude as I was in my checking of this story. In all likelihood, had that been the situation, I would have never even made this comment.

Have a nice day!

Let the fixing... BEGIN!

And now here he was, seemingly depressed and moping around the library. Sentences are not supposed to start with "and". If you remove the word "and", then capitalize the "n" in the word "now". Also, I don't quite understand how this works, but the interrupter "here he was" is necessary. Interrupters, as far as I know, are never necessary. It's missing a comma after the word "here" because right after the word "here" is an interrupter.

"How am I feeling, Twilight Sparkle? Let me tell you how, dear; you released the most powerful spirit of the entire world out of the cold stone prison and reduced Him the the likes of you!" I suggest you remove the capitalization of the letter "h" in the word "him". I also suggest that "the" in "the cold stone prison" is replaced with "his".

"Oh joy. Why don't you decorate my mane with daisies and polish my talons while you're at it." the Spirit dragged himself into the kitchen, attracted by the strong smell of pancakes. As you had not started a sentence before he began to speak, the letter "t" in the word "the" right after Discord finishes his sentence should be capitalized.

"I'm not goinf to be pulled into any kind of brain washing or pranking game of yours, thank you very much." ..."Goinf"?

This maybe won't be that bad. Well of course, losing his powers is horrible, but there was not much he could do about it. Probably has the most errors and is also the final of the errors I found. "This" and "maybe" are most likely intended to be switched, with "maybe" having a capitalized "m" and starting off the sentence while "This" would not have a capitalized "T". "of course" is an interrupter and is missing a comma before it. In "losing his powers is horrible", "his" is supposed to be "was".

Have a nice day!

>>349199349199

Dearest Paper Crease,

I love you. Marry me.

Seriously though, wow man. WOW. Thank you countless and countless times for your time and effort, I learned more about English grammar from you than in high school. While some of these were mere typos, many were an absolute fail example of English grammar.

Also, I can not believe I wrote "hoofpalmed" instead of "facehoofed". Speaking of which...

That must be the most epic pony English fail I've ever made. I was obviously tired.

Thank you once again for your time. Ponies will always love you for it.

*notices your pony-profile*... Origami. I can't believe I encountered an origami talented pony a day after writing the 5th chapter.

This, this is the reason I love the internet. Take ALL my love!

>>353249353249

I will! Take some of mine!

Thank you for a nice comment!

Ha, Discord showed more loyalty to Twi than Rainbow did. That's got to sting for Dash.

Twilight carefully studied Discord's face as it changed slowly from victorious grin, to a confused frown, to rapid blinking as realization hit him, and finally to a panicked grimace worthy of a photo.

Indeed. I died laughing actually.

>>358792358792

To be fair, Dash probably DIDN'T see her. It'd be pretty out of character for her to not go and help out if she knew. Sonic Rainboom, anyone? But I'm curious as to what prompts all this hatred from Dash. There has to be SOMETHING else we aren't seeing. I'm putting fifty bits on "She has a crush on Twilight"

She wants Discord to be evil so badly...

oh wonderful

>>359028359028 Nah, Rainbow's just protective of her friends, and probably didn't like Discord removing her wings and discorded her into betraying them. I mean, accepting Discord into Ponyville would be like if Nightmare Moon got a body of her own and decided to bunk in with Fluttershy or something. That's how I think Rainbow looks at it. And seeing as Rainbow and Discord have similar personalities, they're just butting heads.

>>359113359113

That's certainly part of it. But I hope that there's something else to it.

>>359028359028

Thank for explaining that part; Dash was indeed too much into the race to notice her. Shucks, I should probably edit that in, she may seem like a bad guy too much if I don't.

I have to say, I think trying to figure out the riddles on my own was half the fun in this chapter. They really were incredibly clever.

That was AWESOME!  really liked the riddle solving, and the riddles! I had to think for quite a bit on those. the little bits of  Diiscord being...well, Discord and hairy spike made it even better!

Well this is a very good story. I love the lengthy chapters and the way their relationship is developing. I am now tracking this story. Keep up the fantastic work.

>>379569379569>>379694379694

Wow, I didn't expect that! If I expected any kind of criticism, it would be about riddles being bad, haha Thank you both so much!

Also...

>>379727379727

Wow, thank you so much! Hearing someone saying my work is "fantastic" is probably the best compliment I can receive.

Maaaaan I wanted more draconequus facts!  I love reading about other authors' take on the species.

Though I can hardly complain; I enjoyed the chapter anyway :).

The only one I solved on my own was Rarity. Even of I didn't understand it to that level, I still came up with Rarity as the answer. oh yeah, I noticed a spelling error or two, but the chapter was still perfectly understandable. Keep up the good work!