Twilight Sparkle, protége student and sole apprentice of Princess Celestia. The main element of harmony and it's her birthday's today.
One might think that with all these responsibilities she wouldn't have enough time for such things. Before it was just another day, not anymore though. She loves the day as she gets to spend more time with her friends to celebrate, friends she never had before.
But the next morning she disappears.
Inspiration from the song by aviators called Friendship.
Act one
Edit January 28th: Description change
Edit February 06th: Removed tag
Chapters (9)
Let me guess, that was something Twilight wrote during the first few weeks or so of her friendship with them, but later she had grown to like them and was just reading that to see how much she had grown, unfortunately she just had to read it out loud and destroyed her friendship with them.
I guess the moral of the story is, if you are going to read something insulting your friends, read it silently because they might be listening.
3689692
Your hypothesis of when this happened is close to my original idea but it is not. It is actually a year after the events of Sweet and Elite when it was Twilight's birthday. I won't say what caused her to say this but there are a few small details. I'll thoroughly explain later in the story.
Apologies for forgetting the Alt Universe Tag
3689727
A year after the events of Sweet and Elite?
Then Twilight seems more of a jerk for writing an letter like that after knowing them for an while, but since you said there are reasons for her writing that, i will wait for the next chapters to see the reason but so far the others seem right in their decision to stop being friends with her.
Ohhhhh, boy! Talk about a severe case of "Open mouth, insert hoof"! I think Twilight just stuck her hoof in her mouth all the way up past her elbow! Too bad that it seems to have just come back to bite her in the plot!
"I won't say what caused her to say this but there are a few small details. I'll thoroughly explain later in the story."
Well, speaking just for myself, I think that I picked up on one of those "small details". They wouldn't be because she's hiccuping in those last few lines, would it? Like maybe because she's gotten drunk, or something along that line, because the other girls, say, bloody-well went and completely forgot her birthday until (pretty much literally) the very last minute! Naw, I wouldn't have gotten upset, and then gotten soused because of that l'il detail; not at all. *insert heavy sarcasm here*
Anyway, I can't wait for the next chapter to see what happens! Any idea when we can expect Chapter 3? I hope that it's soon!
Just curious, ya understand
3700721
*Wants to explain everything*
But keep in mind those small details are small and keep an open mind about every possibility.
I'm not sure exactly when because I need to do some heavy editing on personality and pacing most of all. Most of the chapter is nearly finished so this week more than likely.
3701389 Okay, I can do that, and I will. I was basically just guessing about that, anyway. Hence why I spoilered that one bit.
Okay, that's good to know. I'll keep an eye out for it.
And I'm sorry that it took me so long to reply to you. I've been hanging out at Atryl's art-stream most of the night since I posted that last,
I love how Applejack and Rarity hear that Twilight is bloody and injured and still refused to help, and how Rarity wanted to keep Spike with her after learning that Twilight had been bleeding because leave her to die for saying that i am selfish, because as we all know, unselfish people let other people bleed for insulting them...yeah you are kinda just proving that Twilight was right.
Something tells me that part of the reason Twilight wrote that letter is because her friends were vindictive jerks who refuse to help an pony if they are angry with said pony, i mean at least Pinkie has an excuse because Spike did not mention the bleeding but i just wanted to slap or kick Applejack and Rarity in the face in this chapter.
3720325
Applejack is the hardass of the group and was the one who did the damage to her in the first place. She realized her mistake a little too late though.
Rarity in my mind is actually more selfish in my mind and what Twilight wrote about her was the easiest.
To summarize this. If your best friend that you've known for about two years said something like this about you and the rest of the group. Would you care about their well being much?
3720688
I would probably stop being friends with someone if they acted like Twilight did, but denying help to someone injured just because i am mad at them seems extreme, i mean if someone is acting like Spike it is because the situation is serious, and i do not want to let someone die or be injured just because they insulted me or because i hate them, if i did that, i would only be proving that someone that i actually deserve everything they said about me.
Basically, i would not care that much for my friend but i would still help if someone came and said that my friend was bloody and injured, in an situation like that, only really vindictive people,awful people or people without any conscience to worry about would deny help.
3720781
Keep in mind this is less than 24 hours after the incident. Applejack like I said before knew that she was injured since she was the one who did it.
Rarity I will admit I messed up. I let myself get *creative* or extreme with her reaction while still trying to keep her over dramatic attitude. But also remember that people who act like Rarity or vice versa act like how a person says about them negatively to make fun of them.
Plot-induced stupidity aside, there is literally nothing that the timberwolf could do to Spike. In addition to being able to breathe fire, Spike can crush diamonds with his teeth and swim in lava.
AUGH! Another cliffhanger; this one even more heart-stopping that the one last chapter! Dude, are ya tryin' t' give me a heart-attack?! 'Cause it's definitely workin'!!!
Seriously, though, excellent chapter. I loved it, and I hope it won't be too long before the next one, as I wanna find out what happens between Applejack, Twilight and the others!
I just hope that Twilight doesn't get killed, and they all straighten this mess out!
Til then, Mahalo!
3786342 May I ask the stupidity that you see? I'm not saying it's not there but I would like if you could direct my attention. I had to weed out certain parts from my original storyboard that made no sense at all. Some might have escaped my attention.
And about Spike I took his reaction of the Timberwolf from the episode 'spike at your service'. Even if he can do all those things he still fears the wolves and thinks of them as something that can easily end his life. Also take in his current standing. He's exhausted from the amount of running he's been doing.
3786473 Thank you for your kind words. Next chapter I'm not sure to be honest but it won't take more than a little more than a week if nothing happens.
3787761 You're very welcome, and that's fine. I was basically just curious, as I want to know (well, we all do, I think) just who AJ's yelling that at. Someone who took advantage of Twilight's pain and confusion, no doubt.
)
That's good to know, though. I'll pray that nothing happens then.
Oh, yeah, I meant to ask: just how many chapters do you have planned for this?
Just curious, ya understand.
3798867 Honestly i'm not sure. The gist of the story has been said and done so maybe 2/3?
Hadn't done much preplanning as i should have and that caused me a few problems.
The curiosity is nice and I would be lying if I haven't done the same before.
3799143 Meaning maybe 2 or 3 chapters, right? That sounds okay. I'm just anxious to see what's going to happen next between Twilight and the girls. (Who all seem to be feeling remorse for what they said and did that night. But that's just my take on it.)
Oh, I hear ya on the no doing preplanning. I've been guilty of that, too. I usually regret it later.
Well, thank you. Honestly, I get a bit too curious at times. If you know what I mean.
nnnnnnooooooooooo cliffhanger
3838087 Yeah, I hear ya there! Dang it!
No! Twilight! Dang it, Impurity! Don't tell me that you are gonna kill off Twilight! Oh, I hope not!
But it would be just like Twilight to sacrifice herself for her friends. That's what the truest kind of love is.
You know, like it says in the Bible: "Greater love hath no man than this, that he lay down his life for his friends".
Or, to paraphrase in this case: "Greater love hath than nopony than this, that she lay down her life for her friends".
And...I also guess that that's why there's a "Tragedy" and a "Sad" tag on this.
I just hope that the girls and Spike get to say "Goodbye".
Too bad they didn't get to say "I'm sorry", as well.
And some of them don't do anything stupid to themselves later.
3838087 It had to be done.
3838299 Hopes and dreams die just like a shooting star. Her star isn't far behind the midnight grave.
3839408 Well put. I'll be waiting for the next chapter, and I'll be sure to have a full box of tissues handy when it comes.
Sadly, something tells me that this one isn't going to have a very happy ending...for anypony.
I hope that I'm wrong, but like you just told me, I'm probably not.
And it was the day after her birthday, too.
Just out of curiosity, how old was she supposed to be in this? Her 20's, or what?
3839473 Early to mid twenties yeah.
3839505 Yeah, that's usually the age that I make her, and all of the girls, in my fics, too. It just seems more appropriate and/or realistic for them than, say, their late teens (18 or 19).
And just out of curiosity (again, and gets ready to dodge anything thrown at her by her worthy colleague...from brickbats to apple pies), how many chapters are left before the tragic (I'm sadly thinking) ending?
This reminds me of Erza's funeral scene from Fairy Tail.
3888235
Towards tomorrow
Just a quick comment or two.
(Or three or four. Or a dozen.
)
Firstly...boy, do you know how to make a girl puddle up whenever she reads one of these chapters!
This is probably about the third or fourth time that I've read this chapter since you posted it, and I've cried Every. Single Time. It's a real tear-jerker, that's for sure!
And for a chapter that isn't supposed to exist, I loved it! Very well done!
In all honesty, after I read it a time or two, I can completely understand the actions and reactions of the various characters (although I sure as the dickens didn't foresee Shining going after Fluttershy like that, nor her not moving, and just going to let him do...whatever...to her). It was, again, very well done.
And from the description, I got the distinct that Flutters was the only one of the remaining girls at Twilight's "funeral" (and I put it that way for a reason). I wonder where the others are.
(Well, actually I don't. AJ's obviously at the Acres; etc. But you get my drift.)
And one (second-)final comment. I got the feeling from the two "beeps" right at the end that Twilight is (probably, more than likely) not dead, but in the hospital somewhere. (Ponyville General? Canterlot Hospital? Who knows for sure? (Well, you do, but I digress.)) I'm hoping I'm right.
So please, hurry up (in your own time, of course) and bring us the next (last?
) chapter! Pleasepleaseplease!!! I'll go bonkers from the wait, not knowing what's going to happen next!
Also (and this will be my last comment for the night, as I'm going to be going to bed here in a little bit) I noticed your comment up in your Author's Note directly above, and the spoilered thing in the revamped description, and they both intrigued me.
The most obvious one was this:
And the other being, of course, the spoilered one that said Act one.
Which gives me a few hunches about the future of this story.
Regardless, I can't wait to see where you go with it! I'll be eagerly awaiting the next chapter!!!
3889270 Well thank you.
About Fluttershy I had 2 options. A: Have her get yelled at or B: Suicide.
And I don't like that kind of action.
Yet.
3890695 You're very welcome, hun.
Well, I agree with you on your choice between those two options. I've read a few fics where Flutters does commit suicide later on after something like this happening, and I'm sorry, but that just doesn't fit her personality as we know it. So I think you went with the right, better choice.
Dang! I hate it when someone says that!
Well, if that's what the storyline plot calls for, so be it.
I was kinda hopin' that she'd wake up and reconcile with the girls, though. Oh, well.
And another thing that I noticed at the end of this chapter. You showed Twilight (and us) five bubbles with scenarios of the other girls dealing with her "death", but I noticed that Spike was nowhere in evidence. So I was wondering how his relationship with the girls will be effected, and if he'll be staying in Ponyville, or moving back to Canterlot to live with Princess Celestia.
I know that you really can't answer all that (for fear of giving things away, but I'm sure that we'll find out soon enough anyway.
3890973 Don't worry I haven't forgotten about good old Spike and have already made a chapter where Fluttershy almost does suicide but is stopped by Pinkie and Scoot. No need to write another suicide.
And she isn't dead, still got a heartbeat. If she wakes up depends on a certain mr. Star. Its his choice and its only for the sake of _ _ _ _ _ _ _. All I can say.
3893762 Whew! Well, that's good to know!
Oh, really?! Wow. Well, I'm glad that you're having them do that, 'cause you're right. Suicides are are one of the things that I will never, ever write in my fics. For...different reasons.
(Well, them, as well as clop and human(s) in Equestria fics.
)
Yeah, I kinda assumed that from the *Beep* *Beep* at the end of the last chapter. I'm just hoping that Mr. Star does choose to have her wake up, but if he doesn't, I, like all of us reading this, will just have to swallow our tears and accept it. But I really hope that he does let her live.
And only for the sake of _______ what?! PM me with that last? Please?
If you can't, that's okay, too.
And I quite understand. You're sworn to secrecy.
Anyway, I hope that we get the next chapter soon. I wanna see what happens next!
This was a wonderful chapter. Very sad, but at the same time, hopeful. Like Celestia, the girls and everyone else, I'm hoping that Twilight does wake up. Sure, things wouldn't be the same, as she's lost a great deal of her magic, but magic or not, she's still Twilight Sparkle. And Alternate Universe, or not, we've all seen her do some downright amazing things. So, I'm holding out hope that she'll wake up.
Still, this still has the "Tragedy" tag on it, so I don't know. I'm hoping that our mysterious Mr, Star will spare her, but I dunno.
By the way, you said that you'd removed a tag. Might I ask which one that it was? I've forgotten.
Anyway, can't wait for the next...and last...chapter to find out how this all wraps up. I'll be waiting with bated breath, and on the edge of my seat!
3908842 This chapter is the first ending. The next chapter will be the second more happier ending.
The tag was slice of life, I don't know why I put i there in the first place.
3908878 Ah, okay. Sort of a two-part type of ending. I gotcha.
And I gotcha about the spoilered thing, too. All I can say about that is...thank you.
Ah, I see. Well, you have a point. Thanks for reminding me, anyway.
And on another note, keep up the rad work, okay? I'll be waiting for the last chapter to see what happens with our fave group of ponies!
And fave baby dragon, too, of course.
Um...I don't think that word means what you think it means. Were you maybe going for "impressed" or something similar?
3968756
That was pretty bad... I still have a sort of an idea that apalled is just another word for neutral or positive surprise. Fixed thanks.
Great chapter, and I can't wait to see what happens in the next one!
But those last bits have me thoroughly confused. What the hay are Soarin and Discord talkin' about?! Who only has a week left?! Twilight?! Don't tell me you're going to kill her off after all?! Dang it!!!
Or is it somepony else? What the heck are Discord and Soarin up to?! What the hay is going on here?! Oooooo, I absolutely hate
cliffhangers!!!
And just what "all depends on Celestia next move"? Oooooooo, the suspense is killing me here!!!!!
*calms back down* Ah, well, just have to wait and see, I guess. Don't keep us in suspense for too long, okay, bro? Like I said at the start of this, can't wait to see what happens in the next chapter!
On another note, you made the "comment" that Soarin (I'm assuming) is "only a few decades old". Just how old is he, actually? I thought he'd be around Spitfire's age, or a bit younger. Sounds like he's older than he seems.
(In this fic, at least.
)
Hey, bro. Haven't heard from you in awhile. Are you okay?
On another note, are you gonna finish this? (okay, okay, I know that you said that it was basically done, but that there was an epilogue, or something.) I'm basically just curious.
Take care.
hope to read more soon
Dont know why twilight is getting mad about them not greeting her for her birthday.
Birthdays just bring you a year closer to death.