Alright mate you got me interested.

Tracking like an 18th century French Tracker.

I'm not sure why, but this cheered me up a little bit after the horrible ordeal I went through today..... Which reminds me, I gotta go dwn to the church and get some stuff for a cross......

Pet issues, you know?

Imma track, yo.

i like it,

tracking

Wonderful. I'm tracking.

good, if you need a villan, i'm sure DJ would be more than happy

heh heh hehehehehehehe HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! yes i'm an insane robot scientist my absolute FAVORITE thing to do is torture, though i don't usually use blunt objects, i find knifes work MUCH better, especially for skinning, OH wait, i let my apprentice take care of the skinning but anyways, I am DJ Bl4ck0ut, a scientist who made a deal with the devil and became a robot. i am also the embodiment of insanity and cruelty. (i also have a back story, since i randomly aubduct ponies all the time, and use them as test subjects, he could have been the 'one that got away', and now knows the secret location of my lab) also, my eyes are blood-red, so that may give the red phobia thing,

i'm Fifty-Fifty, i can control luck

*sigh* i'm getting kinda tired of introducing myself like this, but i'm TenshuraX, please call me Tenshura. i'm just gonna stop the introductions right there, cause there are 13 total who need introductions, so i'm just gonna let Killkord introduce himself

Hello, i am Killkord, the psycologist.

Good start, certainly got my attention.

>>317697317697

I genuinely chuckled at what you said about track. I've have to agree, tracking this.

Interesting, gona track see where it leads

nice, so he's a good cook, eh? well, it goes with his name and cutie mark at least.

I wonder how long it will be before this one ends up on EQD.  This is a darn good premise and executed very nicely.

This is really good, bro. Id offer better review, but im on an ipod right now. Please make more!

I saw a "should of" near the beginning, and a couple other errors.  Is anyone editing these?

Beyond that, it's alright, but I can't help the feeling something's missing.  I get the feeling the baddy is a loan shark.

ΔΓ

You switch tenses at the very end of the chapter.  You need to keep your verbs in the past tense, since that's what you started with.

yey i like it

This is getting good... from what i can gather either has been chased by a dragon, or someone with access to a dragon.

come why dont they check if theres been any fire recently in Canterlot

I'm glad that I tracked this, it is good so far and leave us figuring out what exactly happened.

Keep in mind, he said "fire" not "dragon fire" so it could be ANY number of things, "they" burnt down his home, chased him with fire, burnt his family maybe? Any number of things.

Uh oh.....

Pinkie.. Kick his flank.

ooo, Saltpeter was the cause of his trauma, curiosity within me got inquired as what exactly he did with fire to scare him.

Reeeaaalllllyyy digging this story, yo.

wow intense

i cant wait to read more

The tension...it burns...  

Well played.  You are a master.  

Oh. Crap.

Also FIRST!

Now I'm more than a little worried about the tragedy tag on this story.  

As for Saltpeter...KILL!!!  

Also, "should of" is improper.  You're actually thinking of "should've," which is a contraction of "should have.". I see that mistake fairly often with a lot of writers.

What about the Pinkie Sense?

>>332403332403 good point

but still AWWW EMMM GEEEZ

Big Mac should kick his ass

Wow, you sure update quickly!

>>333372333372

When you have a lot of time on your hands, and the ideas flow like they do through this empty thing on my shoulders, you tend to get things typed out pretty fast :)

I'm really digging this story. Just one thing, more clerical than anything else. It's should have, would have, etc. Beyond that, you're doing a fantastic job. Keep it up.

NOOO! peppermill you silly pony!

If he leaves AJ's  gona freak.

nooooo dont peppermill!!!!!!

and saltpeter.... u son of a  btch

*salutes Peppermill*

You should try a sequel, maybe to ship him with Applejack and start to build his life from ground up. Maybe start his own restaurants that uses Apple Acres's apples or various vegetables that they grow, which brings in money for Apples family :). Just my thought, I liked this fanfic. Good luck with your future writing, Ill be waiting!

love it

saltpeter deserves so much worst, banish him to the moon!

awsome.

Image: http://www.striped-bass.com/Stripertalk/attachments/scuppers/50541d1328963517-dad-gets-revenge-facebook-clap.gif

Well done my good man, well done indeed. Can't wait to see the sequel if you decide to write one.

This picture seems somewhat relevant.

Image: http://www.myfacewhen.net/uploads/2029-kill-it-with-fire.jpg

We Want More! We Want More! SO GIVE US MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!

>>345371345371 And YOU SIR/MADAM have a great idea I second your idea

damn... I've had fics up longer than this that haven't even been finished yet... Good job man. I loved it.

i am lookin forward to a sequel

and yeah, i must agree i do like your peppermill character

>>Morfonius although i think i disagree with shipping with AJ, her role seems more motherly, and thats gettin kinda weird

Very nice in general; a bit simple, but pleasant to read.  Would be greatly improved by fixing the "of" in instances of "should of" and "could of" to "have" like they should be.  It sounds like "of," but you are actually hearing the contraction, like "should've."

ΔΓ

Its disappointing to learn that fanfics like yours dont receive the recognition they deserve its even worse when an author gives up on a story simply due to lack of popularity i thank you for not giving up on peppermill when so many others would have. Heres hoping that he has a long and happy run.