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MarineMarksman
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The ride into Ponyville was a quiet one. The Chief would occasionally glance in Twilight's direction. Though the two just met, the Chief couldn't help but be concerned for her. Twilight was obviously shaken by the event. 'She probably hasn't been through anything like that. Still so innocent.' The Chief thought to himself. In his past, he has seen stuff like this, when people would have their innocence crushed by war and death. And there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it. Eventually, she spoke up.
"Thanks..." she said quietly.
"Huh?" The Chief asked.
"Thank you. You're right, if it wasn't for you, me and Spike would be dead right now. So... for what it's worth... thanks." Twilight said.
"You're welcome, just remember you owe me one when the time comes." The Chief said. Twilight smiled and nodded at him. The Warthog screeched to a halt outside of a building carved out of a large tree.
"This is it! Ponyville Library." Twilight said excitedly, seemingly forgetting about the manticore and picking up a now asleep Spike with her magic. The Chief went to the back of the warthog and picked up his bags, following Twilight into the Library. He had to duck to get through the door. "Make yourself comfortable!" Twilight called from upstairs.
"Aren't you going to thank the mare?" Cortana asked.
"Mare?" The Chief asked, confused.
"I'm guessing they refer to their females as mares, since we refer to horse females as mares."
"I will when I get the chance." The Chief assured Cortana. He sat down on a large couch and unzipped the larger duffel bag and took out the battle rifle, then loaded a magazine into it, and leaned against the couch. 'Never can be too careful.' The Chief thought to himself. He slouched on the couch and looked around the room. He thought back to the fight with the manticore, and Twilight mentioning the other dangers, such as Hydras and Dragons. He sighed. "I'm going to need heavier firepower." The Chief said to himself, standing up and grabbing his battle rifle. Twilight walked down the stairs as the Chief was preparing to leave.
"And just where do you think you are going?" Twilight asked.
"I'm going back. I need to get some stuff." The Chief responded, walking out the door. "I'll be back."
Twilight was about to protest, but she knew it would be useless. She hopped in the passenger seat.
"Where do you think you're going?" The Chief asked as he got in the front seat.
"With you." Twilight said.
"It's probably too dangerous, sorry, but you will have to stay here."
"But-" Twilight started.
"No buts. Out of the car!" he ordered. Twilight sighed, defeated, and jumped out of the warthog. "I'll be back." he promised before driving away.
"Cortana, any life signs in the area?" The Chief asked as he dismounted from his warthog, about a mile away from the Forward Onto Dawn.
"Yes, there is a large life form nearby the Dawn. Larger than the manticore was too. Don't get yourself killed, Chief." Cortana warned. The Chief slowly walked forward, looking around for potential threats, looking at his motion tracker every so often. A patch of grass rustled as the Spartan walked past. He spun to face it, aiming his battle rifle in the general direction. There was no blip on the motion tracker and the thought entered his mind that it could have stopped working. As the grass rustled again, he tightened his finger on the trigger, ready for anything. A white rabbit jumped into view. Upon seeing the tall figure, it ran for dear life. The Chief breathed a sigh of release and continued on. He soon came across the corpse of the manticore he had killed earlier. There were several wolves nearby, devouring the corpse. They turned towards the Chief and snarled at him. He aimed his battle rifle at them, hoping they would just back away. Luck wasn't on his side this time, as one of the wolves pounced at him. He fired two bursts at it, and it fell down to the ground, dead. This didn't discourage the other wolves, only enraged them. Two more of them charged at the Spartan. He fired a burst at one and aimed his battle rifle at the other. When he pulled the trigger, he heard a distinctive click. 'Jammed?!.' The Chief thought to himself. The wolf tackled the Chief, somehow managing to knock him over. The Chief grabbed it by its neck and snapped it, then threw the corpse at another wolf, who was attempting to flank him. The Chief reached for his M6D and fired 2 shots at the wolf, killing it. He turned back to the other wolves, who were starting to back away from the Spartan. One of them make the mistake of starting to walk forward, because that was met with three shots from the Chiefs magnum. At this, the remaining two ran off. The Spartan loaded a new clip into his magnum and continued forward. As he approached the Dawn, he heard something snoring on the other end of the Frigate. He peaked around a corner of the Frigate to see giant creature of reptilian nature. It had 5 heads with long necks, and told the Chief all he needed to know. 'A hydra, fan-fucking-tastic.' he thought to himself as he climbed into the Dawn, careful not to make any noise. He walked into the elevator and inserted Cortana's chip into the holotank.
"Armory." he silently ordered.
"On it." Cortana said as the elevator ascended to the Armory. Once inside, he quickly ran inside, picking up two rockets and loading them into a rocket launcher.
"Cortana, how much fire power do you think I will need to take out a hydra?" The Chief asked, just as a loud roar shook the Dawn. Cortana simply pointed towards where a couple Missile Pods. He picked up one and set it aside. Then took a rocket launcher and spartan laser and holstered both to his back. He then hoisted up the rocket pod and walked into the elevator. "Let's do this." he said mostly to himself.
"Lieutenant!" Captain Cole shouted, "Where are we?!"
"I dunno, sir." A crewman replied. "We're a good distance away from any known planets, especially any controlled by the U.N.S.C."
"Then what is that supposed to be, Lieutenant?!" Cole demanded, pointing at the planet.
"I dunno Captain, it's not on any of the star maps."
"Alright, we will chart this later. Warm up the slipspace dr-"
"Sir!" another crewman called out, interrupting the Captain. "Sorry about the interruption sir, but you may want to come over here and take a look at this." Captain Cole sighed and walked over to the Commander.
"What is it, son?" Cole asked.
"Sir, it's a beacon. The Forward Onto Down." the crewman said.
"Isn't that-" Cole began.
"Yes sir! We found him." the crewman said excitedly.
Captain Cole paused for a few minutes, absorbing this new information. "Alright!" Cole said, clasping his hands together. "Get me Edward Buck. In the meantime, get me Admiral Hood on the horn."
"Yes sir!" the crew of the U.N.S.C. Frigate Gettysburg called out. Captain Cole walked across the deck and up to main screen, where Hood's face appeared.
"What is it, Captain?" Admiral Hood asked in his usual serious tone.
"Sir, we found him." Cole said excitedly.
"Found who, Captain?" Hood asked.
"The Chief, we found the beacon of the Forward Onto Dawn on an uncharted planet." the Captain said.
"That's the first time in a very long time I have heard any good news, Cole, you better be right." Admiral Hood warned.
"I will have an O.D.S.T. squad going down to the surface by the end of the hour to make sure, Admiral." Cole reassured.
"Very well, I will have a few ships come to your current position to give you a little back up, just in case. I'm sure you have heard about the Covenant popping back up." Hood said.
"Yes sir, grave mistake on their part."
"Make us proud, Captain."
"Yes sir!"
"And Cole."
"Sir?"
"You would have made your father proud." and with that, Hood's face disappeared off the main screen. Cole allowed himself to smile as he sat down in his chair.
On the other side of the planet, a Covenant stealth frigate exited slipspace.
"Are you sure you are reading this right?" a Brute Chieftain asked a Brute Captain, who was looking at some sort of computer system. On it was a read out of the planet, and a red dot on a point of interest.
"Yes sire. It appears the ship that was holding the demon has crashed here. Scans of the area show that the crash was recent, there is reason to believe he is still alive." the Captain said.
"Prepare the troops! We will rip the demon apart with our bare hands!" the Chieftain proclaimed as the crew broke out in cheers and roars of pride. The Chieftain returned to his seat and overlooked the planet in front of him.
"Commander!" he called out. A brute in cyan armor got up and ran up to the Chieftain.
"Yes, sire?" he asked.
"Hail the Matriarch, I have a feeling we will need more troops." the Chieftain ordered.
"Yes, sire." the Commander said, before walking back to his station.
Buck and Veronica waited in front of their squads drop pods for the rest of their squad, who were awoken with news of the mission. The Rookie was the first to arrive, sitting down on a flight of stairs nearby. Mickey and Dutch arrived next, chatting each other up and complaining about the fact they never get any time to sleep around here. Last to arrive was Romeo, who stumbled in sleepily, yawning heavily.
"What is it, Gunny?" Romeo said, leaning against a railing. Dutch and Mickey stopped talking and awaited the Gunny's briefing.
"Alright, at 1900 hours, our Frigate entered a random slipspace jump to evade a Covenant class carrier that was patrolling in system. The jump sent us halfway across the galaxy, with us ending up on the edge of the galaxy. We ran into an uncharted planet, and as we were about to jump, one of the crewman discovered a beacon on the planet below us, the Forward Onto Dawn."
"I assume you know who was on board the Forward Onto Dawn, right?" Veronica asked the squad.
"That massive Elite? The leader of the Covenant Separatist forces?" Dutch asked.
"Technically correct, but who else was on board that Frigate." Veronica asked.
No one answered, besides The Rookie, who answered with a shrug.
"Then I'll tell you. When the Frigate was discovered, it was cut in half. The Arbiter was in that half. In the other, was no other than Spartan-117, the Master Chief. It is likely The Chief is here on this planet, dead or alive. We're going down to see if he is."
"Is that understood?" Buck asked the squad.
"Yes sir!" the majority of them replied. The Rookie simply nodded.
"Alright, arm up, and get in your pods, we launch in 10." Buck said, as the squad walked towards the armory.
Authors note - I have to cut this chapter short, because if I keep going, I will give away too much information. Sorry, but I digress. I'm sure that you will notice with the U.N.S.C. and the Covenant arriving, there will be much more action in the coming chapters? Do you know what that means? Longer chapters! Go celebrate. Woo!
As for the controversy surrounding the Chief's decision to go with Twilight, here's why. When you are facing creatures like dragons, manticores, and hydras in a place you have never been to and is no where near any other settlements/colonies, and you are being offered shelter somewhere safe by a creature that looks like it couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a Spartan II Super Soldier, what are you going to do? I would probably go with Twilight.
Lastly, if you have any criticism, advice, ideas, or praise you want to share with me, feel free to PM me. I will gladly spend the better part of the day talking with you, as long as you're not being rude or anything. I enjoy criticism, and I love being involved with my readers.
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You want a fire breathing hydra? I have two words for you: Rainbow Juice. Just have somepony hang a lampshade on the issue, note that the flames are slightly prismatic, and move on.
And on that note, I guess I'll read this. I've been put off from the Halo series for a while now on the grounds that Halo 3 STILL doesn't have a PC release, but I think I'll give this a go.
Hydras aren't fire breathers most of the time that I've seen them, more often than not their trick is the fact that the only way to kill the buggers is to take each head and burn the neck stump otherwise a one-head hydra will end up as a nine-headed hydra in short order.
They're probably about as tough as a medium-sized dragon for torso hits given the tough scales and the Equestrian variant lacks upper limbs and tend towards dwelling in swamps from what we've seen, suggesting they might be somewhat amphibious in Equestria. It'll probably be able to handle pistol shots no problem, battle/assault rifle rounds will probably need a few successive shots to really breach the scales, the sniper rifle or anything bigger should do more damage on the scale of things and missile launchers should be overkill for the hydra, but might be needed for the dragons and definitely for the Ursa Major, preferably vehicle launched on the last one.
I don't know how much the Chief will know about them, but Cortana ought to have some records of the Greek heroes... I think Heracles/Hercules had a task that involved killing a hyrda so try a google search on his twelve tasks, that should give you something to look at and should give Cortana a reason to pull some information on potential ways to kill it besides heavy firepower. Also, I noticed one of the others mentioned poisonous blood in hydras, I don't recall Hercules dying to it, but I'm pretty sure he used it to kill the lion as another task... or maybe it was the bull. I've not checked Greek myth in forever.
>>14292 I doubt a hydra would last very long being hit with missiles.
>>14320 Yeah, I see what you mean. But of course, he does have a fully loaded battle rifle next to him. Glad you like the story though.
>>14338 Yeah, the rest of the Mane Six will start showing up in Chapter Four or Chapter Five.
>>14300 That would be hilarious. I am working on the chapter length. Trust me, once the Covenant show up, it will get much longer.
>>14269 Glad you like it.
Just something I noticed with your fic that a lot of halo fanfic authors seem to have an issue with as well: The Chief is too informal, sociable, and/or unprofessional. The books show that the Chief rarely gives out his actual first name (John), even to friends or allies. Also, some of his reactions seem rather out of character, such as "Jammed?! That is such bullshit.". Jammed weapons happen, the Chief should not have even shown surprise or annoyance, just simply dealt with the problem one way or another. Finally, I have to ask how Cortana could know anything about Ursa Minors/Majors, since outside of the show they are simply constellations, not actual mythical creatures (I believe, anyway).
That said, I am enjoying the story so far, and will continue checking regularly for updates.
>>14515 Yeah, I should have remembered that. I have read most of the books. As for his reaction to the jammed weapon, as I said before, it's just me giving the Chief a little personality. 343 Industries said that we be doing something similar, so yeah. And for the ursa part, I actually thought they were mythical creatures or something. If they aren't, my bad.
Glad you like it though. 
No offence that was horrible. Master Cheif totally isn't like that. Personally this is a horrible crossover =\. He also doesn't need a whole friggin armory and an M12 with him.
OTHER than that (And a few others I didn't feel like mentioning) the writing itself was pretty good. sorry but 2/5 :v
>>14548 While I respect your opinion, I disagree. Yes, I do think The Chief is a bit different than the one portrayed in this crossover, but not completely different. As for amount of weaponry, I would probably take that much if I was holing up. However, I do appreciate the fact you didn't just automatically rate me a 0.5. A lot of people who don't like this story end up doing that. So yeah, I can respect you for that. Though, I would have to say going out and calling it a horrible crossover is kind of uncalled for. I put my all into this, devoted my time and patience to the story and those who follow it. That's not just an insult to my story, it's an insult to me.
the story is super awesome! 
Would you like a serious critiquing? I can understand you're a huge fan of halo (as am I, having played almost all the games), but if you are just writing this fic to simply write it and get it out there, then I won't really feel like I should give you my review.
However, if you do want to take this fic seriously, then ask me for my full review, and I will give it to you. 
This story is pure awesomeness
It has Guns and Weapons and Bombs and Master Chiefs and Action and Explosions ..
and 
Ponys!! God damn Ponys! When you are making Dashi appear in this, too
My Head may explode of pure awesomeness .. but she would be a little too small
for being a mount .. i thought the ponys were only half chiefs hights? 
Chapter Four has been written, and it is being ran through my pre-readers right now. Once they get finished with it, hopefully by this afternoon, I will post the new chapter. From the pre-readers that have already responded, they said it is a really good chapter. As for those who say I don't make the Chief enough like he really is, I made him even less than like he really is, just to fuck with you. Seriously, get over it. I get it, there are differences from the Chief in the games, and the Chief in this story. But honestly, I can't completely replicate his personality. I am trying my best, but you riding on my ass about it isn't going to help your cause. Do me a favor and complain about something I can do something about. The Chief issue is getting kind of old.
Just wanted to say, this story is freaking awesome
It seems strange to me that a major Halo fic hasn't been written/posted here yet, so its sweet to finally see one . My only problem is a few typos here and there and I do sorta wish Chief would have met some of the ponies before the whole battle starts. Blah, complaining about preference. Awesome story, tagged, really hope you keep going!
>>14592 not a problem. Though some of the words I use may be harsh, I will never say stuff like "your writing is bad and you should feel bad. "
anyways...
let's start with the first chapter!
I like how you left off from the end of halo 3. That was a given... and I also enjoy how you used the exact model names for all the weapons you used. Nice.
I also like the premise. Master chief going to Equestria... I even thought of the same thing myself. But, I decided to work on other fics and leave something like this to somebrony else. And here it is. However, I simply wish this fic was... better.
Allow me to elaborate. FIrst off...
John
aka Master Chief, aka Spartan 117. I know his real name is John, but I feel like you are using that way too much. In the halo game, in ALL of the 3 main halo games, cortona only called him chief. She only said his real name a very few amount of times, only when it was for more emotional parts of the story. Please stick to just Chief, that just feels way better, and is what we are used to.
Another thing. He's a very quiet fellow... I know he needs to talk, and he does, obviously, but he shouldn't be talking near as much as he does. That also derailed it for me quite a bit... just think back to the games and how much dialogue he had, or even go to google and search how many lines he had per game. Not that many... it seems rather OOC (out of character) for him to talk so much.
Guns, and other things
I literally had to go to google images and copy/paste every gun you put down. As I said, I've played the halo games, but I don't know the guns by their numbers/letters. The way I see it, your intended audience is only for the bronies who are also major halo fans, big enough fans that they will know the names of those guns. If you really want your story to kick off, allow me to make a suggestion...
Describe it. Describe it all, bro! I suggest going back - mainly to chapter 1 - and rewriting everything about the ship, about the weapons, about Chief's armor, everything! Make it so those who aren't as familiar with the halo universe will feel welcomed by the wealth of descriptive text that will allow their imaginations to properly flourish. You don't want your readers seeing what you put down and going "What the hay is this stuff? " You want them to be instead like "Ooooh... this looks neat! "
Spike and Twilight
Kay... so those two noticed a giant, hurling mass from space fly straight over their house and land near the everfree forest. Mkay... and then they're all like "LETS GO CHECK IT OUT, YAY!"
Honestly... that sounds like something the CMC would do, not Twilight and Spike. If anything, Twilight would be like "oh my gosh, we need to inform the princess!" Because it's a meteor, and it almost hit her house. She may feel a bit inclined to tell the princess of such a large astronomical event... don't you think?
Another thing... just Twilight and Spike were out. I can understand that it's night time, and most ponies wish to be sleeping, but really... I'm sure a large space ship (even if it is only half of it) flying down through the atmosphere and crash landing near your town is gonna wake some ponies up. Also, it's night, so we need moar owlowiscious.
Meeting the chief
I was already rather disillusioned with your fic when I got to this point, but I was hoping you could make up for it in Twilight and Spike's responses to seeing a large, metal alien covered in strange metals and holding some sort of object in its hands that could be celestia-knows-what. What's more is the creature just imerged from a large object that looks like some sort of space craft, and there may be more of it in there. Furthermore, they may be hostile, and they may be about to blow their heads off. They don't know... and they certainly weren't showing any fear. I would have loved to see Twilight and Spike back out of there in fear, to try to maybe even begin making an attempt to escape. Don't ya think a big alien twice your size would set off some sort of red flag? Be a little more realistic there...
"Oh hey you're some alien super soldier that just happened to land here. Cool! Wanna come to my home?" Really? I'm sorry if I was pretty blunt but... that's essentially what happened. Please, again, be more realistic. Have Twilight try to like, closely examing the chief if anything, or even begin questioning him further. He's an alien, do you know how much information she will be demanding from him? A LOT!
Grammar/Spelling
Nothing much to say here, except that you should thoroughly inspect your fic for such errors. I would post some of them for you, but I'm low on time. Just some modest fic cleaning work, nothing too serious.
Manticor
So a full magazine of assault rifle ammo didn't put the thing down? I don't believe it. And once he kills it, Twilight looks shocked, but then brushes it off! I don't think Twilight has hardly even SEEN death before! And spike himself just seems okay with it!
Seriously... that is very OOC. And they weren't even shocked from the bullets being fired. Don't you think every POP from the pistol or the rifle would make them jump? It's a loud noise ya know!
There's a hydra sleeping on my ship? Let's kill it!
Ah, animal cruelty at its best. But really... it's just a wild animal, why would the chief want to kill it? If anything, he would want to leave it be.
In fact, why the heck did animals come to the area? I can understand ponies being curious, but big ferocious beasts running to the site of a giant crashed object that should have made some sort of big boom? I don't think so. And then a hydra decides to take a nap on it? Very, very unlikely...
Crashed ship? Still works!
Lolwut? Okay... c'mon, be creative here. Find some sort of interesting challenge that the chief has to overcome to get his weapons! Don't be afraid to think outside of the box... because what you did in the story is thinking in the box. Go outside of it, be creative and be cruel to the chief! Make thing interesting by doing the unexpected, or by making things suck for the main characters that much more. Make the chief go through the hell he's used to, and I will assure you a better story.
Want an example? How about the ship breaking apart during re-entry, and the chief needs to eject... taking only a pistol with him. (I assume you've played halo reach. Remember Noble 6 only having a pistol left when he jumped from the super carrier? Try the same for the chief!). Then, maybe some parts of the ship survived, and maybe there might be something still salvageable in the armory. Now, all he has to do is get to it... which won't be so easy!
Ya see? it ain't hard to do some mean stuff and to make things a bit more interesting. Don't be afraid to go into detail a bit or to draw out some things to make the story a bit more interesting.
Enemies and Allies in space!
SPAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!
okay, I'm sorry, I'll stop. Anyways... this was very predictable, and caused me to skim through the last half of chapter 3.
-Brutes are attacking again
-humans find the pony planet
-havoc follows. GG
...This sounds incredibly predictable. Maybe it would be better if written better, but still... gosh. Humans {and the covenant} just happen to find the planet at the same time that chief somehow mysteriously gets warped there eh? Oh how... stale. Again, this is already looking pretty predictable.
Some ponies die, some live, Chief kills covenant, humans and covenant fight it out for a while, and I dunno... maybe you bring in some "oh the forerunner have been here before" or "ponies were once part of the covenant" or some stuff like that. I don't know exactly, but stuff like that wouldn't surprise me.
--
I'm sorry, but I would not continue to read this fic. All the stuff I mentioned plus many more little teensy weency things that are too small to mention just... ended it for me.
I give you 2 stars sir. I can see the effort, but you have a long ways to go before you really get your way to good writing. I suggest going to ponychan and seeking aid. Get help, get reviews, get critiques, and build yourself from there. Don't look at my review and pretty much say I'm slamming you, because I'm just being truthful here. This fic has potential, as I had the same Idea and I bet you so many others did as well, but it needs work. A lot of work... 
John - I actually agree with you on the name part. As for dialogue, he talks a lot more in the books.
Guns - I actually only listed the real names a couple of times. Apart from that, I used the basic names like assault rifle, magnum, etc.
Spike and Twilight/Meeting the Chief - You know, I actually agree with you. Though I mainly did that just to get the plot going, I think I will go back and expand on it.
Grammar - I know.
Manticore - The reason why I didn't just have the assault rifle just kill it, is because, quite honestly, imagine how boring it would be if the Chief just shot it dead. I personally think that a full magazine from an assault rifle would, if not kill the manticore, it would certainly scare it off. But where is the action?
Hydra - Like with the manticore, I only put it there for the action, to get the reader excited. I do agree, that it likely wouldn't be just sleeping there. But of course, it's not as exciting. You would be saying there is a lack of action if it weren't for those two.
Crashed ship - I think I will go back and expand on that to. While probably not the ship breaking up in atmosphere, maybe something that initially prevents the Chief from getting into the armory.
Allies/Enemies in space - Yeah, I know, it is predictable. But how else would they get introduced into the story? And of course, that is how pretty much every halo game goes, so I don't really think I will change this part. But I do see where you are coming from.
I actually understand you're not bashing me. This is criticism, and I respect it. As long as you weren't going out of your way to insult me, it's cool. You did help put some issues into perspective for me, and I am happy that you did end up doing a review on my story. I am a fan, after all.
>>14852 I'm glad you like it.
>>14842 I'm a fast writer, and I get motivated by the positive reaction I got from the story. So I normally work non-stop until it's finished. I hope you enjoy Chapter Four.
>>14843 I was thinking the same thing. That's why I wrote it. Even though, I didn't really think it would become this popular.
>>14926 No, no, I actually get where you are coming from, for the most part. Though yeah, thanks for pointing some of the stuff out though. Though, some of the things I said I would get fixed, I really can't, since I advanced to far into the story to do it. Besides, I don't think flood would be able to survive 12 years in the vacuum of space.
I pretty much had the same issues Streak did with the story. I will say that I don't agree about dropping in with only one weapon, since I think if it could stay in one piece (or the half the Chief was in) after getting split in half, then it could survive re-entry. However, this brings me to the big issue...
"As for those who say I don't make the Chief enough like he really is, I made him even less than like he really is, just to fuck with you.."
Please tell me you're kidding. Please tell me this was just sarcasm. Don't get me wrong; even though I have issues with this story, I still think it's a good idea, but it just needs improvement. However, if you were serious with that comment, if you would seriously make a legitimate issue people had with this story worse just to spite them, then I'm afraid I've pretty much lost all respect I had for you. If you were kidding, and this was sarcasm, then I apologize in advance. Normally I'd just laugh and say you're kidding, but the fact that I've seen other authors make the same threat (and follow through with it) makes me nervous.
Just so you know, skip the rest of this post if that was just bad sarcasm, since in that case none of this would apply.
You don't do that kind of crap. Never. 0. ZERO. Not only does it make the author look like a complete jerk who can't handle criticism, it also hurts the people who still enjoy the story, since then they will also be bothered by it. How do I know that would happen? Because the exact same thing happened to me. I was reading a pretty good story which I really enjoyed. Sure, there were some issues which people brought up, but all in all it was good. The author, however, was (and still is) a complete jerk with an enormous ego who couldn't take criticism without pitching a fit. What made it worse is that he would ask for criticism, and then whine and complain when he got it. Do you know what that author did? He made the same threat you did, and he was serious. After that point, all the issues that were already there were made worse, and plot went right out the window for several chapters. He had author's notes in the chapters which were several paragraphs long and which were rants about the reviews.
Finally, I just dropped the story. It might have gotten better, but even if he removed every single issue with the story, I would never be able to enjoy it again after seeing what he had done. A few people in the comments even encouraged him! But it's obvious why they did that. It seems most people who leave reviews are afraid to hurt the author's feelings, so they post pointless reviews and follow all the things the author does, even if that includes purposefully ruining their own story.
Please don't do that to your story. Don't become the same kind of author as that other guy. You can't always expect people to give your story a perfect score, and that's because not everyone is going to enjoy it. Yes, it isn't fair that someone would give this a .5 or something that low, but that doesn't mean you should go out of your way to mess your story up to spite them. That's basically the story version of cutting off your nose to spite your face. Sure you'll make them even more upset (if they're still even reading by that point), but you also run the risk of running off potential readers.
>>14944 It was sarcasm. Even though there might be certain points where the Chief wouldn't really do something, or maybe some people think he wouldn't, I wouldn't actually do that to spite people. I love critics, good and bad. They motivate me and they show me what I need to improve on. I just kind of get annoyed when they say the same thing over and over again, and won't listen when I am telling them I am trying to improve on it. So yeah, I was just messing with them.
the rookie meets the chief....
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