The Conversion Bureau - Mirror Match

A story set in Blaze’s Conversion Bureau universe, by Silvertie

Chapter 7.5 - Special Request

KMCA said:

Damn, somepony's got some serious PULL. Seriously, Silver Tie/Unibro has some serious connections if he can not only get Twilight to pull something like that out of storage for a complete stranger but get Dashie to fly it to a city with a major  HLF presence... Who's horn was he polishing?

It's not whose horn he was polishing, it was who's horn they were polishing, so to speak.

Everypony say thanks to KMCA for giving me the idea to write up just how Unibro could possibly get leverage of that scale on Twilight.

Originally, my headcanon was just for Unibro to talk to Null Point, who was one of the folks working on the development team for the potion... but that's boring.

This is far more interesting.

<+DoUK> Appreciate it.

<@Unibro> If that's all, I have a letter to write.

Chair creaked, and can snapped as the tab was levered open; the green unicorn known to the internet as “Unibro” reclined in his chair, and cast a quick glance around the lobby of the Conversion Bureau.

Nothing. As usual. The city was practically a ghost town these days, a skeleton crew of robots and droids would keeping the city running until long after humans passed on. Unibro rolled his neck, and checked the bank of security monitors.

Null Point was in his lab, as usual. Tinkering away on something in the safety of the tinfoil-roofed room. Thunder Slam... brutalizing a pony-shaped mannequin in his own room, some pre-sleep pugilism.

Unibro pushed his hooves into one another, clicking the leg joints, and opened the web browser; after a barely noticable pause, he punched in a string of numbers and hexidecmal digits, opening up a very simple web-page.

Just one little box sat in the middle of the screen, awaiting an alphanumeric input. Unibro didn’t hesitate, filling the box with uncountable  small black dots. The screen flickered as the terminal dropped another three levels of security autonomously, and displayed a simple text file on the screen.

Links, numbers, archives, names. A digital, remotely-accessible black book. And all of them highlighted in assorted colours. Red, green, orange, blue. And one name uncoloured above all.

Unibro picked up his cellphone, and mashed some keys with his magic. Pegasi and earth ponies had it hard. He could get away with his phone from his days when he could count to ten on his upper-body limbs alone. The phone clicked as it jumped through digital hoops, and Unibro heard the call connect.

“Hey, Ponyville Library, Spike speaking. Am I doing it right?”

“Hello, Spike,” Unibro greeted, spinning slowly in his swivel chair, “I don’t suppose Twilight would be around, would she?”

“Oh, sure, but, uh, who’s calling? The thingy that tells me who’s calling just says ‘Tracking Unavailable’.”

“That’ll be the call routing. Tell Twilight... it’s Badger, and he’s looking for books... on Vegas nightlife.”

“Uh, yeah, sure. Hang on. TWILIGHT, WE GOT A CALL FOR YOU! It’s somepony named Badger, something about Vegas nightlife!”

“Bring it here!”

Unibro spun a little faster as he waited for what he assumed to be Twilight’s assistant dragon to pass the pony in question the phone. The sound of magic flaring up nearby, and a slight fuzz of static as the phone was picked up in magic, and-

“Hello?”

“Hello, Twilight, it’s me,” Unibro greeted, “Badger. I’m calling it in.”

“Calling what in?” The purple librarian’s voice was on edge, now. “I don’t know any badgers.”

“Las Vegas, Nevada, March 22nd, 2020. Three girls went out for a night on the strip, properly chaperoned, of course.” Unibro coughed.  “We won’t go into details, but suffice to say... five casinos, two hundred and sixty thousand bits’ worth of damage to the Equestrian treasury; an encounter with a certain farmpony from - ahem - AAAAapleoosa, in a dress club; and above all else, three humans promised three favours by three mares, all to make sure nopony ever heard about it... especially not a certain Regent of the sun.”

“Alright, alright, I get it. What’s your point?”

“I’ve called in my favours with R and F. I’m calling in yours, now.”

“...Skink and Toad weren’t this rude about calling theirs in.”

“I’m sorry if I seem a little blunt, but it took a little pressure to get the others to own up to it, and I’m pressed for time.”

“What do you want, Badger?”

“I’m looking for a certain ponification serum.”

“...I’m sure you work in a bureau, you must be up to your hooves in potion.”

“Not this one. Guy wants to convert, but he’s a... twin. Of sorts. His counterpart’s a pony now. The guy wants to make absolutely sure he doesn’t become his twin’s double again.”

“...That’s all?”

“That’s all.” Unibro took a slug of his drink. “Bargain price for my eternal silence, right?”

“Indeed. I think I know what you want. Are there any... restrictions?”

“He just wants it done fast, and he wants it to be impossible for him and his twin to be identical again.”

“Strange guy. I’ll even have somepony fly it over to him, if you want. Got an address?”

“Sure.” Unibro pulled up a text file, and rattled off an address. “Enough?”

“Yeah. Rainbow can work with this, I’m sure. I expect you to uphold your end of the bargain.”

“My word is my bond, I swear it on my magic and horn.”

An ethereal clunk rippled through the ether, unheard by any save for two unicorns.

“Oath locked in, I see. I’ll send the potion out as soon as I can get my hooves on it, I have to take a trip to Canterlot and dip into the vault. I think I know what we want.”

“Thanks, Twi.”

“Don’t mention it. Ever.”

The line clicked, and Unibro sat back, chuckling, as he pushed a key on his keyboard. The computer bleeped a confirmation dialogue, and he confirmed it.

The black-book list slowly began to vanish, numbers and names being stripped away into digital oblivion, to be triple-deleted by further automated programs - nobody and nopony was ever going to see those numbers and names again in this context.

The records of the greatest and only truly moon-worthy thing that Celestia’s number one student had ever done were gone; and with it, the last legacy of the man once known as “Agent Badger”.

“I hope its worth it, Duke...”