Completely mad, balding superhero :D
It's that time again. Time for Cloudsdale to receive it's annual supply of water from Ponyville Reservoir via tornado.
Hundreds of pegasi take part in this and teamwork is the key! But this time, the event brings two ponies together who may have seen each other before.
This is a short one-shot for the OC's of two of my friends.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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D'aaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
Awesome, my OC scored!
Love this :D
Well, this fic was a little awkward in its wording/execution, but that takes practice.
At least her flirty nervousness and the romance made more sense once we found out she'd meant to at least bump into and start a conversation with him. Once we knew that, the rest of her actions were more understandable.
P.S. - "I was going to fast and…"
Should be "too"
"Heaty looked into her eyes and saw nothing but plead and utter determination."
Should be "pleading"
P.P.S. - Well, if Heatseeker and Sullishy enjoyed it, then this fic definitely succeeded in its purpose.
Well that was nice, a sweat short romance, I liked it.
I really liked this fic! The pacing could've been done a little better, but it was spot on for the tone of an uplifting, sweet story.
The only real problems I had were:
1) The paragraphs felt awkwardly spaced, and even those little misspellings snap you right out of an immersive, absorbed reading to a "what did I just read?" and the reader having to reread constantly and not getting the full experience of it.
2) I feel as though Heatseeker was teetering on the edge of a Mary Sue. Everything was just kind of going his way (bar the injury, but that was put in for plot progression exclusively, but I did like how the plot laid out). The only reason He might not be is because he didn't really have too many parts that explains his character.
But overall I really enjoy the fic and found it was nicely paced, good usage of surprise and keeping the reader guessing, and leaving on an unopened note that leaves the reader wanting more. 4 and 1/2 stars!