Princess Celestia sends Twilight to Manehattan for some hooves on experience being a princess. Celestia also instructs Rainbow Dash to make sure that Twilight gets used to her new wings. What better way to do that than with the Manehattan Cyclone's top of the line training facility.
However, somponyelse thinks that she's supposed to teach Twilight to fly, and she's the one with an all access pass. Rainbow Dash isn't going back down, though.
Now there are just three questions; Will Rainbow Dash win? Has either pony bitten off more than they can chew? Will Manehatten survive the clash?
Chapters (4)
I am interested. Do go on.
Love to see more of this
Very nice!
I like how you didn't try to use every character and just focused on three of the Mane 6 to interact. It makes the story flow better.
I loved the word "ponyrazzi". That's a pony pun I had surprisingly not heard yet.
I'm not sure if this story really fits under the "random" category as most of those are kind of insane. Maybe the story grows more random later. Right now it feels a little like a "slice of life" fic.
Good job on the story so far!
Dash needs to put that pony in her place...though I know it won't be that easy ;)
the prototype wasn't bad. but this was definitely a big improvement. I like how you handled the things we talked about. However, there was one thing I noticed that I didn't focus on in the preread(just a nit pick):
" Dash gave a very dry smile. "I wasn't kidding when I said these facilities were top notch." She then glanced at the tall buildings around them. "Besides, these buildings act as a wind funnel. They are the last place a beginner flier should learn to fly." "
Done stuff like this countess times myself. Thoughts and tenses get mixed up. Perhaps just "beginner" or "beginning flyer"?
if i knew how mustache points worked. Id probably give a few. but ill hold off on that to keep from putting my foot in my mouth.
I like where this is going
first things first: "equicidal". I had to do a double take. But the pun made up for it. Was that your own invention?
and you mentioning me in the author's notes... thanks.
I feel like I've done a lot more "hey! read this!" to you than helping you. if my memory serves me right it's 4 to 1 now...
o, and wanted to ask about something. It was gramicaly correct i think but...
when you said that, were you trying to imply that 'her trainer' might have meant Rainbow Dash perhaps?
'complete access to the training facilities for her and her trainer.'? allowing for a mix up?
intended as "give her and her trainer access", but miss-interpreted as "give her access and provide a trainer for her"?
i might be misreading what you were implying with my own preconceptions though, so you do your thing.
And at the prospect of a date we shall now see uber panic mode engage. Good chapter!
3887370 So funny story. I typed "Homicidal", because I had just been reading "Homicidal Psyco Jungle Cat". I thought about it and was all, they aren't homo sapiens. So I thought about their genus name, and thus "equcidal."
Glad you liked it.
Edgar Rook - E. Rook. How did I not catch that?
Either the Mayor is in love with Twilight, he is trying to use her for social climbing purposes, or Twilight was correct when she said that they always treat royalty like that.
You know, I wonder if Lorin knew but she still butted in to get in close with the new princess, Twilight, mainly polotically. It be intersting to see if she will continue to butt in when Rainbow Dash is confirm as a teacher.
She did seem angry when she first Rainbow Dash but it maybe just for the fact she came out a bit strong as Twilights trainer.
I also wonder if Rainbow Dash has a history with the pony that while she would not remember, the one that she precieved wrong, Lorin.